A Good Correspondence In Deep Insight's Organizer

  

ABSTRACT

  The paper entitled A GOOD CORRESPONDENCE IN DEEP INSIGHT S

  

ORGANIZER describes how to make a good correspondences as a report of the

job training process in Deep Insight s Organizer.

  The method used in this paper is descriptive methods. The method is used to describe and analyzed the data taken during job training process. This paper described how to make a good correspondences based on business correspondences standard in order to make an aggrement to the other companies. The technique of collecting data is by observing the data which is taken from incoming letter in Deep Insight Organizer.

  Based on analysis about A GOOD CORRESPONDENCE IN DEEP INSIGHT S ORGANIZER , correspondences are important thing in companies. To make A good correspondences there are some points should have to be written in the letter, they are head letter, body of paragraph and closing.Moreover, we need to know the background of client, for example if the client from America, we use the formation American style; such as in the date line which the formation is the month, date and year. Keywords: Correspondences, Informal Letter, Formal Letter

ABSTRAK

  Laporan ini berjudul A GOOD CORRESPONDENCE IN DEEP

  

INSIGHT S ORGANIZER, menjelaskan bagaimana cara membuat surat yang

baik selama penulis melaksanakan Kuliah Kerja Lapangan.

  Metode yang digunakan adalah metode deskripif. Metode ini digunakan

untuk memaparkan dan menganalisa hasil kerja yang didapat dalam

perusahaan selama Kuliah Kerja Lapangan. Laporan ini menjelaskan cara

untuk membuat surat-menyurat yang sesuai dengan standar perbisnisan agar

terdapat kesepakatan dan pemahaman antar perusahaan atau

organisasi.Teknik pengumpulan data yang diperoleh dengan mengobservasi

data yang diambil dari surat email yang masuk dalam perusahaan Deep

Insight.

  Hasil dari laporan A GOOD CORRESPONDENCE IN DEEP INSIGHT S

ORGANIZER adalah surat-menyurat salah satu hal yang penting bagi di

setiap perusahaan. Untuk membuat surat yang baik tidaklah mudah. Dari

hasil tersebut,penulis menyimpulkan bahwa untuk membuat surat yang baik

sesuai standar business, kita harus memperhatikan poin-poin penting dalam

setiap pembuatan surat yaitu kop surat, isi paragraf dan penutupan. Selain

itu, kita harus mengetahui kepada siapa tujuan surat bisnis tersebut

diberikan; sebagai contoh apabila klien berasal dari Negara America maka

gaya penulisannya yang digunakan adalah style dari Amerika; seperti

penulisan tanggal gaya amerika diikuti oleh bulan, tanggal dan tahun.

  Kata kunci: Surat-menyurat, Surat Tidak Resmi, Surat Resmi

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

  I would like to appreciate following to: 1. Allah Swt and Muhammad Saw, for the give life and guidance.

  2. The Dean of Faculty of Letters, Prof. Dr. Moch. Tadjuddin, M.A.

  3. The Head of English Department, Retno Purwani Sari, S.S., M.Hum.

  4. My Advisor, Nungki Heriyati, S.S., M.A., for giving the suggestion and encouraging the writer to finish the paper.

  5. The Coordinator of Job Training, Tatan Tawami, S.S.,for the guiding and giving the direction for all students who conducted the job training.

  6. Mr. Eko and Wahyu Insight s, for the guiding while the writer conducting job training 7. Deep Insight s Crew, for giving support and togetherness conducting job training.

  8. To all my friends and people whose participate to giving support, advise, correctness for this paper. Especially, Erna, Mega, Sri and Echa. Thanks girls! I hope this paper giving contribution for the readers and myself in the future.

  Bandung, November 2010 The witer Model 1 :

  a. Invitation Letter (Acknowledgment) In this letter, the writer wrote the acknowledgment letter to the band management for asking possibility schedule to make concert in Indonesia.

  b. Reply the acknowledgment letter by management

  On Wed, Jun 2, 2010 at 3:56 PM, Dirk Zeiser < dirk@direct- management.com > wrote: Hello everyone,

After receiving the email from Jai about not being able to pay any fee for the show, we

had to go back to the drawing board and look at the finances for this trip. We really cant afford to be loosing that money ... The band is loosing there ass already and as much as

we understand that the money might not be there, we really need it in order to make

this trip work for us.

  

I also looked in to skipping singapore and fly home straight from indonesia but that s

also not an option as flights are way more expensive leaving from there. As we have no idea what money we can expect to get from the shows in china, the risk we are taking is probably way too high for us. I understand that this is a tour on a lower level but we cant do it without knowing exactly what money we will be making in comparison to our expenses. As I said, we are already loosing more money than we can potentially make back with merchandise sales. We want to invest in all these markets but as it stands right now, we are loosing around 5.000usd. Here are a few options: we get a fixed guarantee for all the shows in china and go back to the drawing board to see how that will help. we keep the deal for singapore as it was originally offered to us when we confirmed the tour. we cancel all the dates and see if we can make it work at a different time.

Don t get me wrong, we wanna do this trip and we will do whatever it takes from our

end to make it work. But we cant have the deals change the way they were if its not in

the bands favor. That we had to move dates around in indonesia and that we had to fly to indonesia on a different day than originally expected, our flights are already 400 usd more expensive per person. Lets see how we can work on this together ... I assume nobody wants throw away all the work we all already invested in this.

  Dirk ____________________________________________ Direct Management Dirk Zeiser PO Box: 100 863 44008 Dortmund Germany office: +49.231.86220-17 EU cell: +49.172.276 8685 US cell: +1.801.673 6010 fax: +49.231.86220-19

• all the best, Rob

  

  We can assumed that the agent want to make sure that they don t want make any mistake when they cooperate to make an contract with other management. For sure, they had list the terms of payment and rules. Next, they won t loss of financial.

  c. Inquiry letter; Reply and asking for schedule From: eko insight <extreme_organizer@yahoo.com> Subject: Born From Pain - Indonesia To: "Rob Franssen" <robbfp@gmail.com> Cc: dirk@direct-management.com Date: Friday, 2 April, 2010, 10:40 AM Hey Rob,

  July 27th (Tue) travel to Indonesia from Bangkok* July 28th (Wed) Jakarta, Indonesia July 29th (Thu) Samarinda, Indonesia July 30th (Fri) Bandung, Indonesia July 31th (Sat) Pontianak, Indonesia August 1 (Sun) travel to Japan from Indonesia*/possible show

• flights provided by band Indonesia portion of Tour :
• Fees: 250 USD/show
• ground transportation for 5 person, backline, food & drink, sleeping places for 5 person provided Cheers, Eko myspace.com/extreme_organizer myspace.com/deep_insight In this letter, the owner reply the previous letter and explain what the agent wants until they make a deal.

  d. Reply available the schedule by management

Re: Born From Pain Asia tour

  Sat urday, 1 May, 2010, 5: 25 PM From:This sender is Dom ainKeys verified " Rob Franssen" < robbfp@gm ail.com > View cont act det ails To:" Eko I nsight " < ext rem e_organizer@yahoo.com > All good!

Eko, can you sen me the list again with all the

dates+venues, I can't find the mail you sent before! So I can put them up today? Thanks! R

  The agent and band are agreed for the schedule and they ask again for make sure that the dates and venue are available for the next show in Indonesia.

  e. Promotion Letter

  From: Sent: Tuesday, March 16, 2010 11:12 AM To: Jockey Indy Pop Subject: Born From Pain - Bangkok interested with Born From Pain (Holland) ?? here's terms Date : Tue, 13 July Fees : USD 500 include flights Other : ground transportation, backline, food & drink, sleeping places provided by Bangkok Cheers, Eko myspace.com/extreme_organizer myspace.com/deep_insight

  RE: Born From Pain - Bangkok Tuesday, 16 March, 2010, 12:35 PM From: "Jockey Indy Pop Records" <jockey010167@hotmail.com>

  View contact details To: "'eko insight'" <extreme_organizer@yahoo.com> Cc: "'jockey indy pop'" <jockey010167@hotmail.com>

  O.K. Eko. Let me know when we are ready to announce. Thanks,

Teravut "JOCKEY" Vatanapratepakorn Indy Pop Records

  555/155 PETCH 9 TOWER SOI PETCHBURI 9, PETCHBURI RD. PHAYATHAI, RAJCHATEVEE, BANGKOK 10400 Tel. 666-395-7100, 662-953-9977

  We can assume that the content of email above is promoted to another management that would be interest to make show in their country; included the terms of payment and rules. Until another management aggreed and interest to make a contract.

  f. Reply the available and match the schedule then give an optional flights (for preparation)

  Hi Dirk, yes, below are the flights that band have to book and pay for Tokyo Beijing Bangkok Jakarta Pontianak Singapore Singapore - Home suggested airlines for : Bangkok - Jakarta --- Pontianak - Singapore ---> and here's emails from all local promoter : China + Hongkong --->Riz : sfscratch@hotmail.com Bangkok ---> Jockey : jockey010167@hotmail.com Indonesia --->Eko : extreme_organizer@yahoo.com Singapore ---> Jai : reconstruxbookings@hotmail.com Cheers, Eko Insight myspace.com/extreme_organizer myspace.com/deep_insight

  In this letter the organizer wants to make sure and ive an optional flights which can be choose by the management for matching with another schedule. So, they won t collide with another schedule.

  g. In ordering letter; Reply and accepted previous letter

  On Fri, 9/4/10, Dirk Zeiser --- <dirk@direct-management.com> wrote: From: Dirk Zeiser<dirk@direct-management.com> Subject: Born From Pain Asia tour To: "eko insight" <extreme_organizer@yahoo.com> Cc: "Rob Franssen" <robbfp@gmail.com>

Date: Friday, 9 April, 2010, 6:31 PM

  Hi Eko,

I will start looking into various flight options now. As most of the cities we have to fly to

or out of, have numerous airports, I would like to get in touch with each local promoter

to figure out what the best options would be. I only have your contact details and Jockey s who I believe is doing the Bangkok show. So please forward me all the other contacts as soon as you.

  Also to be 100% sure ... These are the flights the band will have to book and pay for: Tokyo Beijing Bangkok Jakarta Pontianak Singapore Singapore - Home The flight from Hongkong to Bangkok will be booked and paid for by Riz who is doing China and the Hongkong show. All travels within China and to Hongkong and internal travels in Indonesia will be covered by the promoters. Please get me all the contacts and confirm the travel deal. Thanks and have a great weekend, Dirk !!! NEW ADDRESS ... PLEASE UPDATE YOUR FILES WITH THE INFORMATION BELOW !!! ____________________________________________ Direct Management Dirk Zeiser PO Box: 100 863 44008 Dortmund Germany office: +49.231.86220-17 EU cell: +49.172.276 8685 US cell: +1.801.673 6010 fax: +49.231.86220-19

  In this letter, the management agreed of the organizer terms give.

  h. Complaint letter

  On 7/27/10 8:00 PM, "Dirk Zeiser" <dirk@direct- management.com> wrote: Hi eko, canceled (30.07 in Jakarta and 31.07 in Pontianak). First of all, what s the reason for that and 2nd of all, how do you think about

compensating the band for the 2 lost shows and how will you get them to Singapore on

august 1st? This can all not be the band s expense! We are already loosing a lot of money on this trip but can not afford to loose any more when its not the band s fault.

  

3 out of the shows that you got us got cancelled and this is a huge financial burden for

the band.

I just tried to call you but got no answer ... Please get back to me asap! This needs to be

dealt with by tomorrow evening my time. As you know, there is a travel day tomorrow

so there will be enough time to deal with all of this. Dirk ____________________________________________ Direct Management Dirk Zeiser PO Box: 100 863 44008 Dortmund Germany office: +49.231.86220-17 EU cell: +49.172.276 8685 US cell: +1.801.673 6010 fax: +49.231.86220-19 ira

  The management make an complaint and ask what happen to another country whom cancelled the show . i. Reply the complaint letter by management (optional)

On Tue, Jun 1, 2010 at 1:16 PM, Eko Insight < extreme_organizer@yahoo.com > wrote:

  for another 2 dates in Indonesia, i'm still waiting for that but will finalize it asap Jakarta and Pontianak are no way going to be able to change their deal. they not a rich place regardless what people think. Plus this is the same deal that we gave to bands like Terror and Parkway Drive. Both these bands are bigger then Born From Pain and they were okay about doing it.

  Let me know if we're canceling. I'd like to announce the cancellation as soon as possible. for Singapore, Jai from reconstrux ( reconstruxbookings@hotmail.com ) will

  Cheers, Eko Insight

  myspace.com/extreme_organizer myspace.com/deep_insight

  In this letter the organizer give explanation what happened 2 cancelled show. Then they make sure everthing is gonna be alright; that the show still on going to another country which had a deal. j. Satisfaction

AW: Fw: JatnikoAndi (Booking No: B671UZ) Travel Itinerary Sunday, 1 August, 2010, 2:59 AM From:

  " DirkZeiser" &lt; dirk@direct - m anagem ent .com &gt; View cont act det ails To: " Eko I nsight " &lt; ext rem e_organizer@yahoo.com &gt; Hey,

Wow ... I was getting a little nervous here! Thanks for taking care of

it ... The flight times work perfect! I will be in touch tomorrow about a few things but am glad that this got worked out! Dirk __________________________ Direct Management Dirk Zeiser cell: +49.172.276 868 5 US cell: +1.801.673 601 0 office: +49.231.86 220 17 dirk@direct-management.com

  In this letter the management are satisfied and thakful to the organizer who had great deal arrangement and show.

  

CHAPTER I

INTRODUCTION

  Job training, as one of the subject in 7th semester gives an opportunity for students to develop their competence because they can apply any given lesson they got. Moreover, students get an experience of a real condition in the workfield.

  The student can choose a company or an organization where they do the job training. The writer chose Deep Insight. It is an event organizer which responsible to arrange a plan in order to make a successful events especially in making a shows for the band. Many people are interested to become an event organizer because working in an event organizer is fun and there is no fix time like an employee in an office.

  Like the other companies, correspondences are important thing in an event organizer. An event organizer needs correspondences to communicate or make agreement or memorandum of understanding (MOU) with other companies or their clients. It uses to build a trust and cooperation to the other company. Writing a good correspondences based on business correspondences standard is not easy, however, it is important to make an effective and good letter to avoid misunderstanding. The important of business correspondences has raised the interest of the writer to take this topic as the job training report. Thus, the paper entitle: A GOOD CORRESPONDENCE IN DEEP INSIGHT S ORGANIZER.

  1.2 Objective

  The purpose of this job training is to fulfill one of the requirements of Sarjana Degree, and the purpose of writing this topic is to examine the common terms and good correspondences in Deep Insight s Organizer.

  1.3 Method

  The writer uses descriptive methods that focused on systematic description regarding to the fact and characteristic of the research subject and object directly as cited Hartoto (2009) stated that Metode penelitian deskriptif

  merupakan metode penelitian yang berusaha menggambarkan dan menginterpretasi objek sesuai dengan apa adanya . In this paper, the writer

  tries to give best explanation regarding to the data found during conducted job training.

  1.4 Place and Time

  This job training was held in Deep Insight Organizer which addressed on PasundanStreet / 24th Palaguna building block A Bandung, West Java. The activity of job training was started from 08.00 until 16.00 and was conducted 30th July until 1st September, 2010.

  3 CHAPTER II THE GENERAL DESCRIPTION OF DEEP INSIGHT S

  In this chapter, the writer will elaborate description about Deep Insight s event organizer. Deep insight is an event organizer who is promoting and inviting many overseas performers. It was established on March 2000 in Bandung. The location of the organizer is Pasundan Street / 24th Palaguna building block A Bandung.

  The historical background of Deep Insight s organizer began from the owner s idea, who is the ex-guitarist / bassist Disgorged Organs, Morbus Corpse and Balcony, to maintain the existence in underground scene. Up to now Deep Insight has made an events. Some events held by the organizer will be described as below:

  The organizer has succeeded make an events by local performs on 2000 until 2003 The next events held was invited Asia performers from Singapore Impiety Finally, they were invited America performers to perform in Bandung on May

  1

  st

  and 2

  nd on 2004.

  4 Nowadays, Deep Insight is one of the event organizer focused on arranging the

  show in Bandung, West Java. Besides, the other purpose of organizer is to build a trust to the overseas performers that Indonesia is a good place for overseas performance to make a show.

  Deep Insight s Organization have six departements. First department is Director which is taking a responsibilty for whole the events and payment. Second is Production Manager which is responsible to the process of the events behind the scene. Third is Event Manager which is responsible to hold an events. Next, Public relation which is responsible to make a good relation with the client and offer the events. Marketing which is responsible to make promotion about the Deep Insight s organizer. Merchandiser sells all the merchandise of Deep Insight. And here are the jobholder of each departement :

  1. Andi Jatniko Aka Eko Insight as Director

  2. Wahyu Mulyana aka Wahyu Insight as Production Manager

  3. Agus Nurrohman aka Agus Insight as Event Manager

  4. Prasetya Nugraha as Public Relation

  5. Ridwan Sulistyo as Markerting

  6. Gory Setio as Merchandiser

  5 The writer was posted in the Production Manager department. This department

  takes in charge in the process of the events behind the stage. Besides, arranging the steps to make the events success, the department is responsible to reply an email from the client and arrange incoming and outgoing email. During the job training, the writer has a responsibility to reply to the client. After replying the email, the writer collects all the incoming and outgoing email as the organizer draft. And then the writer rewrites that email into a good business letter based on business correspondences standard.

  3.1 Job Position and Coordination

  The position of the writer during in Deep Insight s Organization is an assistant of the production manager who is responsible to reply an email.

  During the job training process, there are two people who guide the writer; that is the manager production and the owner a. Andi Jatniko aka Eko Insight : as the owner

  b. Wahyu Mulyana : as the production manager

  3.2 Responsibilities

  In this chapter, the writer will elaborate about the activities during job training. The writer has responsibility to make the non-formal business agreement into formal business letter from the email received.

  Another responsibilities, is that if there are events, the writer has opportunity as a Liaison Organizer and Deep Insight Crew. To run successful events, we have to pay attention in every task given by the Production Manager. So the artist will be satisfied and they have a trust to the organization to make an event in the future.

  In this report, the writer focuses on correspondences rather than as liaison organizer.

  3.3.1 Explanation During the training, the writer workson Monday to Friday. The writeris responsible to reply an email from the client.After that, the writer collects and arranges the incoming and outgoing letter to make it into formal letter.

  3.3.2 Problems and solutions From: eko insight &lt;extreme_organizer@yahoo.com&gt; Subject: Born From Pain - Indonesia To: dirk@direct-management.com Date: Thursday, 11 March, 2010, 10:40 AM Hey Dirk, I m Eko, a promotor from Indonesia. We interested to Born From Pain Tour 2010. Is it any possibilities for us to arrange show on August? Cheers, Eko myspace.com/extreme_organizer myspace.com/deep_insight This email indicates that the owner wants to cooperate and to make a show for the artist. However, it is inappropiate to use informal letter as the first impression to build a trust to other company. It is better to make a formal acknowledgment letter to make the client more interested. The email above shows some deficiencies. company. Second, there is no reference line, date line, inside address, salutation, subject line and complementary close which indicate politeness and the purpose of the letter. Third, there are no closing sentences which indicate that they want a response. Finally; there is no signs and complete address which is the essential parts of communication. All of the deficiencies will be describe as follows:

  First, there is no head letter of the purchaser in the email above, whereas, the meaning of heading is very important for the company because we can see the icon to show that the company is established. Thus, the writer adds the company icon of the purchaser in the head letter which includes the address, telephone number, post code and the country area.

  Second, it is about the body of paragraph which are reference line, date line, inside address , salutation and subject line, will be describe as follows.

  As shown in the email, there is no reference line; whereas in formal letter it should be written. It consists of initial of the director / secretary, letter of number, code of the letter, month and year. For example: AJ/WY: 001/AC/03/10.

  Next, the date can be written on the left side of the paragraph or it can be on the right side. Actually, there are two styles of the date line; American style and British style. American style formation is the Month, Date and Years. Differs from American style the formation of British style is the date, month and year.

  According to the book English Business Letters (F.W. King - D.Ann Cree 1962, 5), the date can be written in the right corner, middle or the left corner; depend on letter style in this letter, the writer chooses American style because the client is from America.

  Another missing part in the email is inside address. Inside address is it an important part in the body of paragraph. The inside address includes the address the telephone number, post code and website.

  Next, the salutation in the email is Hey Dirk which is informal in business letter.The writer changes salutation into gentleman for this letter, because the client is from America. The salutation is written below the inside address.

  Besides, in the email there is no subject line. The subject line is summary of the subject of the letter. The writer writes the subject line acknowledgment as a subject line on the letter and it writes after the salutation.

  Last, another important part in the body paragraph is the complementary close. The complementary close is cheers which is informal in business letter.

  To make it into formal complementary close, the writer chooses Yours faithfully .

  Third, the closing sentence is the ending of the sentences which expresses feedback or responses from the client. In the email there is no closing sentence which hoping feedback from the client. Thus the writer adds: We hope you will be

  

able to confirm us as soon as possible. Thank you very much for your attention as the

closing sentences and the expression of gratitude.

  Finally, the sign is the name of the person who is responsible of the content of the letter. It should be typed for the authenticity of the letter. In the email there is no place for the signs, so the writer gives a space after the closing sentences. Solution: Head Letter Head Letter

  INTERNATIONAL ARTIST AGENCY Jl. Pasundan No.68 Bandung 40251 Phone: 022-91872318 Jl. Pasundan No.68 Bandung 40251 Phone: 022 Jl. Pasundan No.68 Bandung 40251 Phone: 022 Jl. Pasundan No.68 Bandung 40251 Phone: 022 Jl. Pasundan No.68 Bandung 40251 Phone: 022 91872318 West Java, Indonesia 40261 West Java, Indonesia 40261 West Java, Indonesia 40261 AJ/WY : 001/AC/03/10 AJ/WY : 001/AC/03/10 AJ/WY : 001/AC/03/10

  INTERNATIONAL ARTIST AGENCY

  INTERNATIONAL ARTIST AGENCY

  INTERNATIONAL ARTIST AGENCY

  INTERNATIONAL ARTIST AGENCY

  Reference Reference Line

  March 11th, 2010 March 11th, 2010

  Date line Date line

  Direct Management Direct Management Direct Management Dirk Zeiser Dirk Zeiser PO Box: 100 863 100 863

  Inside

  44008 Dortmund 44008 Dortmund Germany

  Address Address

  Office: +49.231.86220 ffice: +49.231.86220-17

  dirk@direct-management.com dirk@direct management.com management.com

  Gentleman : Gentleman :

  Salutation Salutation

  Re : Acknowledgment Re : Acknowledgment Re : Acknowledgment

  Subject line Subject line I m Eko ko, a promoto tor from Indo donesia. We i e interested to to Born From Pain Tour 2010. Is it any possibilit Born From Pain Tour 2010. Is it any possibilit Born From Pain Tour 2010. Is it any possibilit Born From Pain Tour 2010. Is it any possibilities for us to Born From Pain Tour 2010. Is it any possibilit ies for us to arrange show on August? arrange show on August? arrange show on August?

  We hope you will be able to confirm us as soon as possible. We hope you will be able to confirm us as soon as possible. We hope you will be able to confirm us as soon as possible. We hope you will be able to confirm us as soon as possible. We hope you will be able to confirm us as soon as possible. We hope you will be able to confirm us as soon as possible.

  Closing Closing Thank you very much for your attention. Thank you very much for your attention. Thank you very much for your attention. Thank you very much for your attention. sentences sentences

  Yours faitfully, Yours faitfully,

  Complementary Complementary Complementary

  DEEP INSIGHT ORGANIZER DEEP INSIGHT ORGANIZER DEEP INSIGHT ORGANIZER

  Close Close The signs The signs

  EKO INSIGHT EKO INSIGHT Manager Manager

  4.1 CONCLUSION

  The conclusion of the paper, during job training, the writer found out that making a good correspondences which appropiated based on business terms standard is not easy. To make a good formal letter based on business correspondences standard there are some point which have to be considered, they are head letter, body of paragraph and closing. Futhermore, when we would send the letter, we have to know where the client come from.

  4.2 SUGGESTION

  1. The organizer has to apply a good correspondence in the business letter to avoid misunderstanding.

  2. English Departement must provide more seminar and training for the student English Departement. So, when they conducting job training, they are ready to give a contribution in workfield.

  3. And for student itself, student have to practice and learn more about the subject that is being analysed.