T HE S EXUAL D IVERSITY OF THE W ORLD W IDE W EB

T HE S EXUAL D IVERSITY OF THE W ORLD W IDE W EB

Over the past several years, numerous writers have noted that sex is the most searched-for topic on the Internet (Cooper, 1997b, 2002; Cooper & Griffi n-Shelley, 2004), a claim that still appears to be true. We are referring here, of course, to the World Wide Web, which offers a much wider array of information and services beyond those that are sexually explicit, although they, too, are certainly available, usually for a fee requiring a credit card to prove legal age. Most such Web sites also require an affi rmative response to questions that ask, for example, whether one is of legal age in his or her locale and whether viewing such material is legal there, and to affi rm that one is not a law enforcement offi cer seeking to entrap the operators. Ample warning is almost always given, particularly at the commercial sites, whose operators appear to be sincerely interested, if only for economic and legal reasons, in restricting their clientele to adults. Hypertext links, for example to the Disney Web site, are usually available for those who indicate they do not wish (or are not legally permitted) to view sexually explicit material. An implicit trust that the viewer is being truthful is assumed, if only, presumably, to exercise due diligence and

5 The Psychology of Sex

to avoid legal liability. Among the libraries of explicit photos that often make their way back and forth between the Usenet and some of these Web sites (although, at this point, most appear to have been commissioned, bought, and/or produced by the sites themselves) are the cutting-edge technologies, such as live video and audio feeds that allow the viewers to interact with models stripping or dancing or performing various sexual acts. Again, as noted earlier, the impact that this direct- ing of the performers’ actions might have on these viewers’ attitudes toward sexu- ality (and toward women and men in particular) in everyday social interactions is something that still needs to be assessed. Appropriate countermeasures (which should not include simply banning them) might be warranted that might then become part of a general socialization program to foster respect and consideration between and among the sexes, a practice that is similarly lacking today in many interpersonal interactions in the nonsexual realm in American society at large. It is important to remember that pleasure and eroticization should not preclude such respect, despite the often explicit message in some “sex education” programs that experiencing these feelings is a de facto indication of a lack of respect—particularly self-respect—and particularly for girls. It is incumbent on parents, educators, mental health professionals, the media, and society-at-large to reject such messages that more often set the stage for lifelong internal confl ict and defeat.

The Web also offers the technology for individuals to interact in “real time” using chat rooms (or simply chat) and instant messaging (IM)—textual messages typed on the keyboard with conferencing software, such as the AOL (America Online), MSN (Microsoft Network), or Yahoo Instant Messengers (or via the older but still somewhat available technologies called ICQ or Internet Relay Chat, IRC). Many of the newer technologies also offer audio chatting, and AOL Instant Messenger, like the older CU-SeeMe videoconferencing software, offers chats with sound and video using a video camera (or webcam). Chats may occur in a variety of venues on the Internet and frequently take the form of noted authors, athletes, or celebrities “conversing,” usually using just textual messages, but more frequently using simultaneous video and audio with their audience. Often, too, are chats tak- ing place more informally, which involve just the audience-as-participants in a discussion about almost anything. Whereas the Usenet newsgroups are more archi- val in nature, being more like newspapers in a library that one accesses when one chooses, chats are more involving and occur in synchronous real time: One must be there when it occurs to participate. Instant messaging is similar, in that one “con- verses” with one’s “buddy list” when they are online, of which one is automatically notifi ed by the program after the user confi gures the list of friends. In contrast, the newsgroups, listservs, and online discussion boards are asynchronous: One posts a message that others may read and respond to at any time after the original poster has gone offl ine.

Out of these capabilities grew the popular practice of cybersex. Cybersex involves suggestive or explicit erotic messages or sexual fantasies exchanged via

124 Raymond J. Noonan

the computer connected with others who are online at the same time. Although the term is no longer new, in fact, as van der Leun (1995) noted, “Cybersex has been going on since humans received the gift of imagination…. [It is] simply old sexual fantasies in a new electronic bottle.” Worthington (1996) noted a survey on Prodigy (one of the original proprietary networks similar to but predating AOL) in which 52% of the respondents said they had had cybersex, of whom 36% said they had reached orgasm and 25% said they had faked it. More recently, Cooper and Griffi n-Shelley (2004) have noted that between 20% and 33% of people have used the Internet for online sexual activity. This highlights the fact that, as in many if not most sexual fantasies, the glands of the participants are involved, if not the bodies. As Worthington described it online, “And where endorphins go, attachment follows.” It also highlights the fact that masturbatory activities—still a very diffi cult subject for many Americans to publicly acknowledge—are very much a part of cybersex, just as they are closely associated with many sexual fantasies, particularly when enhanced with sexually explicit materials. For some people, reading the inti- mate confessions of others can serve to initiate sexual fantasies and arousal, much as romance novels are often considered to be women-oriented pornography.

Cybersex, like phone sex, is a metaphorical term for sexual talk between two or more individuals that may or may not include simultaneous or subsequent masturbatory activities for one or more of them, as previously noted. There is some support in the literature for considering it another form of “having sex,” although there is little evidence to support that interpretation. “Real sex” itself remains a controversial issue among sexologists and others, many of whom insist on includ- ing all types of sexual behavior, most often oral sex, as “having sex.” Certainly, these activities are sexual behaviors, but the common expression “having sex” is typi- cally understood to mean having sexual intercourse, although some confusion will persist with respect to some activities, such as anal sex. The incidence of cybersex fl irtation raises the question among the public, as well as mental health and legal professionals, of whether such activity is adultery or cheating, with one such case reaching the courts as early as 1996 amid much media coverage (e.g., Worthington, 1996). Although I would be hard pressed to defi ne cybersex (or even phone sex) as having sex, others use this metaphor as an apt description of what they are doing. In fact, during one guest appearance on MSN that I did, one of the questions asked of me and the members who participated in the chat was, “Is cybersex better than real sex?” That question arises often enough still, with members debating among themselves that one is superior to the other. What is perhaps clarifi ed is the nature of jealousy, that imagined dalliances—virtual intimacy—could have as much of an impact as actual sexual intimacy with an outside lover. Ephemeral relationships may occur, although one might ask if this is all that different, too, from many rela- tionships offl ine. Much has been written as well on the many marriages and other committed relationships that developed as a result of meeting online (Miller, 1998). The marriage-oriented dating site eHarmony.com, for example, states that more

5 The Psychology of Sex

marriages occur from their matches than from those on any other service, with numerous testimonials attesting to their claim appearing on their website.

Many psychologists, too, have delved into the world of cybersex and have con- jectured as to its impact on the participants and their partners, including elucidating treatment options for compulsive online sexual behavior. Cooper (2002) and Cooper and Griffi n-Shelley (2004), who have probably written the most comprehensive treatments on sex and the Internet, have broadly defi ned the concept of online sexual activity (OSA) as the “use of the Internet for any activity (including text, audio, and graphic fi les) that involves sexuality, whether for purposes of recreation, entertain- ment, exploration, support, education, commerce, efforts to attain and secure sexual or romantic partners, and so on” (Cooper & Griffi n-Shelley, 2004, p. 1290). They included cybersex (“cybering”) as a subset of online sexual activity. They also defi ned two problematic aspects of online sexual behavior: online sexual problems (OSP) and online sexual compulsivity (OSC), a subset of the former. Online sexual problems include all of the diffi culties that people can have from online sexuality, including its “negative fi nancial, legal, occupational, relational, and/or personal repercussions” (p. 1290). Online sexual compulsivity refers to the “excessive” online sexual behaviors “that interfere with the work, social, and/or recreational dimensions of the person’s life. In addition, there are indications of a ‘loss of control’ of the ability to regulate the activity and/or to minimize adverse consequences” (p. 1291). They hypothesized that these activities and problems were powered by what they called the “Triple-A Engine” of the Internet: accessibility, affordability, and anonymity (or, more correctly, the perception of anonymity by many people). They believed that online sexuality was the “next sexual revolution” (Cooper & Griffi n-Shelley, 2002, 2004, p. 1290), a claim with which this author agrees.

The appeal of cybersex is understandable in some ways. Communicating via the Internet is easy, accessible, safe, relatively inexpensive, and can be exciting. The emotional content of the interaction is controllable, versus a face-to-face encoun- ter, and some people prefer masturbatory activities because they avoid what are perceived as the hassles of in-person relationships. Anonymity is often important in this context, although it leaves open the possibility—or, often enough, the prob- ability—that certain aspects of the individuals’ physical appearance, social charac- teristics or standing, or other details will be omitted, exaggerated, or falsifi ed, such as age and gender. Suler (2005) offers a brief overview of this “disinhibiting” effect of the perceived anonymity that many users feel as a probable contributor to the tendency of some people to do or say things they might not otherwise do (for a more detailed look at this phenomenon, see Adam Joinson’s chapter in the present volume). Goldsborough (1996) has noted that there is some evidence that the per- sonal computer is regarded by some people as an extension of themselves, in effect, expanding McLuhan’s (1964) thesis that the media are extensions of our senses (see also Norden, 1969). It is interesting to note that it was McLuhan who coined the term global village, and that some of his ideas are beginning to be reconsidered as

126 Raymond J. Noonan

communications theorists have begun to recognize the validity of many of his pre- dictions that are now being validated with respect to the Internet. McLuhan’s ideas had already been applied to sexual styles of relating by Francoeur and Francoeur (1974). Along similar lines, Hamman (1996) used cyborg theory to consider the computer as a sexual prosthesis in people’s experimentation with multiple selves in his study of cybersex in AOL’s online chatrooms.

Typically, masturbation has been the sexual behavior most closely associated with Internet use in a sexual context, whether viewing erotic imagery, reading erotic stories, or participating in cybersex. Masturbation, of course, is a highly problematic behavior for a signifi cant number of Americans, particularly many of those individu- als who closely identify with the more orthodox fl avors of various religious tradi- tions (cf. the discussion by Francoeur and Perper, 1997, 2004) of fi xed versus process worldviews, which comprise a continuum of attitudes and values, and the behav- iors—sexual and nonsexual—often congruent with them, as noted earlier). I have long held the belief that it is the erotic component of sex that triggers the most intense negative feelings in some people, probably because of the powerlessness that many people feel when they experience it. Masturbation in both sexes may be con- taminated because of this association with eroticism, probably as much as its negation of the procreative potential. Masturbation also has the added baggage of being more closely associated with male sexuality, at once exalted and denigrated in postmodern American culture as well as in some social science circles. The fear of masturbation, as well as moral objections to it, may have some of its etiology in these factors, although Money (1985) has clearly noted the antisexualism of some prominent early American health practitioners who opposed it because of the harm they believed it caused.

In addition to these activities that are geared to sexual entertainment on the Web, the “serious” side of sex, both sex-positive and sex-negative, is more fully represented than in the newsgroups. These include an enormous amount of infor- mation about such things as contraception and abortion, sexuality and disability, religious views of sexual morality, sexual health statistics, and heterosexual, homo- sexual, bisexual, and intersexual interests and lifestyles. Some are oriented to pro- fessional interests; others are addressed to the informed public or to both. True to part of the Internet’s initial purpose of facilitating communication and collabora- tion between researchers worldwide, the Web is also a vast repository of research and scholarly and media reports on sex-related topics. Virtually every major sexual health organization has a presence on the Web, such as the Planned Parenthood Federation of America (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/) and many of its local affi liates, the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (http://www.siecus.org/), and many others. In addition, major sexuality resources, such as The Magnus Hirschfeld Archive for Sexology at Humboldt University in Berlin (http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/), provides copious online documents of use to sex researchers, counselors, and public policymakers, including the complete text of several standard reference books. In fact, by the time this volume is published, the

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author’s award-winning Continuum Complete International Encyclopedia of Sexuality will have begun to be posted in its entirety on the website of the Kinsey Institute (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/ccies/), covering sexual attitudes and behaviors in

62 countries and places. Links can be found to these and many more sexuality-related websites at http://www.SexQuest.com/SexQuest.html.