Kaloeti Exploring the dynamic of mother adolescents closeness International Conference UDAYANA 2011
Exploring the dynamic of mother-adolescents closeness
Dian Veronika Sakti Kaloeti, Hastaning Sakti
Pusat Pemberdayaan Keluarga (PPK),
Faculty of Psychology, Diponegoro University, Semarang
Central Java-Indonesia
veronikasakti@undip.ac.id ; sakti.hasta@gmail.com
Abstract
This study aims to look at the dynamic of mother-adolescent closeness, and to
exploring the reasons why the adolescents feel close to their mother. A total of
1523 university student (male = 479 ; female = 1044) at Diponegoro University
completed an open-ended questionnaire developed by Kim (2010) that asked how
close they feel to their mother as well as the reason why they feel close to their
mother. The data was analyzed using indigenous psychological approach of
analyzing the content of open-ended responses. Results have shown that
adolescents feel close to their mother because she fulfilling her children
emotional needs (63.5%), fulfilling physical needs (15.1%), being a good role
model (7.5%) and because of consanguinity (5.3%). More verification on details
of categories are required for the future research on closeness between mother
and child relationship.
Key words: closeness, mother-adolescent relationship.
INTRODUCTION
of relation that involving closeness
Aristotle described human beings as
condition
social animals. In recent years, the
relationship. As we know, mothers
field of psychology has attempted to
figure
offer
systemic
because they will transmiss the
knowledge of close relationships and
culture, developing of enculturated
their impact on individuals’ life. One
persons, the constitution of kinship,
scientific
and
is
become
mother-child
very
important,
2
family, and household, and the
Laursen and Collins mentioned that
reproduction of society.
closeness invoked indicators include
interdependence, intimacy, trust, and
Mother spend between 65%-80%
communication (in Vangelisti, 2004).
more time with father and by that so
There is considerable continuity,
mother
bond
however, between positive features
relationship or attach with their
of relationships during adolescence
children or we can called that
and those in earlier life, despite the
closeness. Closeness is an umbrella
altered
term for the degress to which
emotion, and cognition (Collins,
individuals are affected by each
1991).
One
longitudinal
others across time. Closeness and
showed
that
parent
interdependence are evidenced in
during childhood predicted closeness
parent-child
during
will
have
strong
relationships
and
patterns
of
adolescence
interaction,
study
involvement
(Flouri
&
friendships (Laursen in Vangelisti,
Buchanan, 2003), and the other side
2004; Burgees et al,2006).
theories of adolescent development
Its common thing when child feel
give a central role to increasing
close to their mother, but how about
conflict in relationships with parents
when
and to increasing closeness with
they
adolescents?
get
and
Laursen
become
(1995,
in
peers
and
extrafamilial
adults
Bukowski, Newcomb, & Hartup,
(Laursen & Collins, in Vangelisti,
1996)
the
2004).
that
Surveys of adolescents indicate that
conduct
adolescents
and
survey
to
indicate
closeness between adolescents and
provisions
for
closeness
and
their mother getting decrease while
interdependence begin to shift from
adolescents because disagreement
parents to friends and disagreements
with the mother most common
are most common with mothers
appear at that time.
followed by siblings, friends, and
romantic partners, then fathers; angry
Closeness in Mother-Adolescents
disputes arise more frequently with
Relationship
family members than with close
peers (Laursen & Bukowski, 1995;
mature, whereas conversations in
Laursen, Furman & Mooney, 2006).
which information is conveyed and
But parents especially mothers tend
feelings
to appraise the familiy more positive
(Laursen & Bukowski, 1997). So its
even adolescents said the difference
interesting thing to find out how
things. Silverberg and Steinberg (in
about in Indonesia especially at
Bornstein, 2002) noted that the
Semarang, Central Java?. Which
opinion is an attempt toward off the
known that Java is the 13th largest
decline in maternal life satisfaction
island in the world. The Javanese
that
adolescent
people is an ethnic group native to
detachment. Discrepant views of
the Indonesian island of Java and the
parent-child
largest ethnic group on the island and
accompanies
relationship
developmentally,
vary
however.
also
in
are
expressed
Indonesia.
increase
They
are
and
predominantly located Central Java,
discrepant expectations are highest at
Semarang consist of 32,4 million
the outset of adolescence, and views
people
gradually
(http://www.bps.go.id/aboutus.php?s
Mismatched
perceptions
converge
(Collins,1995;
over
time
Seiffge-Krenke,
p=0&kota=33)
1995).
Laursen and Collins (in Vangelisti,
Mother-Adolescents’ Relationship
2004) said that theories of adolescent
in Javanese Context
development give a central role that
Culture may be defined as a system
increasing closeness with peers and
of shared beliefs, values, customs,
extrafamilial
and
behaviors, and artifacts that the
Laursen explained that closeness
members of society use to cope with
during adolescence is manifest in
their world and with one another, and
forms that differ from closeness in
that are transmitted from generation
earlier
to
adults.
parent-child
Hartup
relationships
generation
through
learning
when was child, closeness mark with
(Matsumoto, 1999). This definition
as cuddling and extensive joint
suggests that culture involves three
interactions, decreases as children
key components: what people think,
4
what they do, and the material
wong). Mothers obtain their honor
products
because
they
produce.
Cultural
of
self-sacrificial
care
values and beliefs, particularly those
(Mulder, 1996).
pertaining to developmental goals
In
and
may
relationship between mothers and her
affect the function and organization
children appear from expression of
of parent-child relationships.
affection who emerge explicitly in
From Javanese words, woman comes
the way mother take cares her
from wani (brave) and tapa (suffer),
children. Disclosure of affection are
which means figure who brave to
not done yet explicitly proven in the
suffer for others. Mothers become
treatment of mother to child. The
central figure in the family for
quality
forming and maintaning families.
relationship seems to be the primary
This
as
indicator of identity, self-esteem, and
matrifokalitas symptom. By that so
moral attitudes of adolescents in Java
mother is an ever-present figure and
(Handayani & Noviyanto, 2004)
pay
socialization
practices,
condition
attention,
can
called
be
Javanese
of
family,
the
closeness
mother
child
trusted
completely. Naturally mother figure
METHOD
in Javanese culture always respected
Respondents
than anything, she will always be
A
embedded deep in the emotion and
developed by Kim (2010) was sent to
life of her children.
1523
By giving birth and nurture, she is
studying in Semarang (male = 479 ;
the living symbol of self-sacrifice; by
female = 1044) ; Aged range
being accessible and attentive to her
between 17-26 years old (mean =
offspring, she extends trust and
19.15; SD = 2.719).
emotional warmth and the symbol of
Instruments
homeliness; as the first teacher, she
Respondents were asked the question
lays the foundation for the evolution
from questionnaire about “How much
of the child on its way to becoming
they feel close to their mother?” as
fully Javanese or fully human (dadi
well as the reason why they feel
Parent-Child
Questionnaire
undergraduate
students
close to their mother. The researcher
categories through listing all the
decided to use questionnaire to elicit
thematic ideas that emerged from the
information in order that respondents
data. When a response revealed a
received an identical set of questions,
new topic, a cetegory was created to
phrases in exactly the same way,
accomodate that topic. The final
leading to standardisation of the
category structure emerged after four
responses which higher reliability
coders had discuss and make an
(Hayes, 2000). It was also proper to
aggreement. To account for any bias
use questionnaire for the purpose of
in the coding, three undergraduate
this study, because as a larger
research assistants were trained and
number of subjects could be reached.
coded 20% of the surveys.
An
extra
benefit
of
using
questionnaires is that information can
RESULT
guarantee
and
The research question asked the
therefore may elicit more thruthful
reason why the participants feel close
responses
Open
to their mother. The frequency data
questions ensure higher ecological
pointed out that the most reason they
validity as the respondents is not
feel close to their mother were
confined by choice of answes, and as
providing emotional needs (63.4%, n
result this allows ‘true opinions’ to
= 967), fulfilling physical needs
be confirmed (Hayes, 2000).
(15.1%, n = 230), being a good role
Data Analysis
model (7.5%, n = 114), and because
The data was analysed using content
of consanguinity (5.3%, n = 81).
analysis. The responses to the open-
Completed cateogorization showed
ended questions were coded into
at table.1.
confidentially
(Hayes,
2000).
6
Table 1. Mother-adolescents closeness in Indonesia
Sex
Category
1. Fulfilling emotional
needs
Willing to share
everything
Understanding child
Give love
Give comfort
Emotionally close
2. Fulfilling physical
needs
Physical presence
Nurturing
3. Being a good role
model
Being meaningful figure
Being a good role model
4. Consanguinity
Gave birth
Child obligation
5. Others
Unidentified + do not
feel close to the mother
6. Blank
Total
Male
261 (54.5)
Total
female
706
(67.6)
967
(63.5)
95
(19.8)
304
(29.1)
399
(26.2)
53
70
23
20
95
(11.1)
(14.6)
(4.8)
(4.2)
(19.8)
196
79
85
42
135
(18.8 )
(7.6)
(8.1)
(4.0)
(12.9)
249
149
108
62
230
(16.3)
(9.8)
(7.1)
(4.1)
(15.1)
51
44
47
(10.6)
(9.2)
(9.8)
101
34
67
(9.7)
(3.3)
(6.4)
152
78
114
(10.0)
(5.1)
(7.5)
33
14
43
20
23
7
7
(6.9)
(2.9)
(9.0)
(4.2)
(4.8)
(1.5)
(1.5)
45
22
38
27
11
13
13
(4.3)
(2.1)
(3.6)
(2.6)
(1.1)
(1.2)
(1.2)
78
36
81
47
34
20
20
(5.1)
(2.4)
(5.3)
(3.1)
(2.2)
(1.3)
(1.3)
(5.4)
479
(100.0)
85
26
(8.1)
1044
(100.0)
111
( 7.3)
1523
(100.0)
Separately, closeness between sons
answer about fulfilling emotional
and
needs, male are higher at physical,
daughter
slightly
have
differences, the figure 1 shown that
female tend to higher than male in
good role model and consanguity.
Figure 1. Closeness between male adolescents and female adolescents
Figure 2 shown about how close
feel much close to their mother and
adolescents with their mother. From
46.2% female adolescents feel very
that chart, we can initiated that about
much close to their mother.
49.8% male adolescents respondent
Figure 2. How close respondents feel to their mother?
DISCUSSION
With that ways, children dont think
Result reveal that fulfilling emotional
twice when want to share about their
needs
self. Its apparent from answers like:
become
most
respondent
answer which is 63,4%. At this
themes, relationship with mother is
characterizes by willing to share
everything, giving an unconditional
emotional
support,
giving
299.1.A. because mother is the place
to share my sense and the story of my
life
330.1.A. because I always tell her
everything.
love,
comfort and emotionally close with
From figure 1 above, we can
children. At second place followed
conclude why there are differences
by fulfiling physical needs, because
about male and female adolescents
mother being good role model and
perceived their closeness to their
because their consanguity. Its quite
mother, it could be happened, its
different
in addition what Kim
because mother talked more about
(2008) found, that South Korean
emotions, affected more to her
parents traditionally tend to consider
daughter than sons. Its also the ways
high levels of (strict) control and
of the mother nurturing and inherit
involvement in their children’s daily
the daughter, who prepared to be an
lives as a way of expressing parental
adult women and someday become a
love (affection) and caring toward
mother too, in order to fulfil the
their children. In this research,
culture
expectation
mother are describing as loving
should
be
person
affectionally.
(trisna),
gentle,
fully
that
tender,
woman
and
fully
affection, and understanding her
This results, in line with parent-child
children, which demonstrated by an
relationship research, conduct by
example of respondents answer, such
Kim and Choi (1994) at South Korea
as:
who found that mothers are to be
benevolent
295.1.A. because my mother is the
one who most understands me.
1154.1.A.She always understand my
condition and what I felt.
providing
and
understanding,
themselves
as
the
emotional provider of the family.
Mother will nurturing by emotion
work, means that women suporting
it happens it will become bad
feel responsible for meeting the
behavior,being sinner or godless. Its
emotional needs of the children
exist in respondent answer, like:
(DeVault in Vangelisti,2004).
1239.1.A.heaven lays on mother feet.
1415.1.A.because i respect her. In
religion, blessing from God is similar
to parents blessing. Heaven = when
mother give her blessing (ridha) to
her children.
At figure 2, 84.7% respondents feel
very much close to their mother. It
proved that relationship with mother
remain as strong and secure as before
and
still
going
through
until
From that answer, it is also seen that
adolescents. It interesting part, why
Moslem
they feel close eventhough they
influenced respondent lives, where
already become young adult? This
most of respondents are moslem
finding different with several other
(88%). One well-known narrative in
studies
are
the Hadith underlines the respect
increases in negativity and decreases
paid to mothers. It tells of a man who
in the closeness between parents and
asked the prophet Mohammad to
youth (Collins & Steinberg, 2006;
whom he should be dutiful. The
McGue et al., 2005). From Javanese
answer was, “your mother, your
context, being
mother,
that
mention
there
close to
mother
value
your
become
mother
heavily
and
your
represents one of the devotion of the
father." It caused eventhough they
children to their parents (dharma
are growing up, mother remained an
bakti). Closeness, as well as one
important figure in their life.
form of child respect to the mother,
When adolescents develop and maintain
because there statement
their
in our
closeness
with
the
mothers,
society that “surga berada dibawah
simultaneous provide maternal support.
telapak kaki ibu” (heavens lays on
Laursen, Furman & Mooney (2006)
mother feet) so parents blessing
have shown that perceived maternal
especially mother is representation of
support
God blessing, with when childs dont
adolescents’ global self-worth.And
close with their mother it means that
from the result we can said that theres
they ignoring the mother, and when
is
interdependence
associated
pattern
with
among
10
adolescents
to
their
mother.
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http://www.bps.go.id/aboutus.php?sp
=0&kota=33
Dian Veronika Sakti Kaloeti, Hastaning Sakti
Pusat Pemberdayaan Keluarga (PPK),
Faculty of Psychology, Diponegoro University, Semarang
Central Java-Indonesia
veronikasakti@undip.ac.id ; sakti.hasta@gmail.com
Abstract
This study aims to look at the dynamic of mother-adolescent closeness, and to
exploring the reasons why the adolescents feel close to their mother. A total of
1523 university student (male = 479 ; female = 1044) at Diponegoro University
completed an open-ended questionnaire developed by Kim (2010) that asked how
close they feel to their mother as well as the reason why they feel close to their
mother. The data was analyzed using indigenous psychological approach of
analyzing the content of open-ended responses. Results have shown that
adolescents feel close to their mother because she fulfilling her children
emotional needs (63.5%), fulfilling physical needs (15.1%), being a good role
model (7.5%) and because of consanguinity (5.3%). More verification on details
of categories are required for the future research on closeness between mother
and child relationship.
Key words: closeness, mother-adolescent relationship.
INTRODUCTION
of relation that involving closeness
Aristotle described human beings as
condition
social animals. In recent years, the
relationship. As we know, mothers
field of psychology has attempted to
figure
offer
systemic
because they will transmiss the
knowledge of close relationships and
culture, developing of enculturated
their impact on individuals’ life. One
persons, the constitution of kinship,
scientific
and
is
become
mother-child
very
important,
2
family, and household, and the
Laursen and Collins mentioned that
reproduction of society.
closeness invoked indicators include
interdependence, intimacy, trust, and
Mother spend between 65%-80%
communication (in Vangelisti, 2004).
more time with father and by that so
There is considerable continuity,
mother
bond
however, between positive features
relationship or attach with their
of relationships during adolescence
children or we can called that
and those in earlier life, despite the
closeness. Closeness is an umbrella
altered
term for the degress to which
emotion, and cognition (Collins,
individuals are affected by each
1991).
One
longitudinal
others across time. Closeness and
showed
that
parent
interdependence are evidenced in
during childhood predicted closeness
parent-child
during
will
have
strong
relationships
and
patterns
of
adolescence
interaction,
study
involvement
(Flouri
&
friendships (Laursen in Vangelisti,
Buchanan, 2003), and the other side
2004; Burgees et al,2006).
theories of adolescent development
Its common thing when child feel
give a central role to increasing
close to their mother, but how about
conflict in relationships with parents
when
and to increasing closeness with
they
adolescents?
get
and
Laursen
become
(1995,
in
peers
and
extrafamilial
adults
Bukowski, Newcomb, & Hartup,
(Laursen & Collins, in Vangelisti,
1996)
the
2004).
that
Surveys of adolescents indicate that
conduct
adolescents
and
survey
to
indicate
closeness between adolescents and
provisions
for
closeness
and
their mother getting decrease while
interdependence begin to shift from
adolescents because disagreement
parents to friends and disagreements
with the mother most common
are most common with mothers
appear at that time.
followed by siblings, friends, and
romantic partners, then fathers; angry
Closeness in Mother-Adolescents
disputes arise more frequently with
Relationship
family members than with close
peers (Laursen & Bukowski, 1995;
mature, whereas conversations in
Laursen, Furman & Mooney, 2006).
which information is conveyed and
But parents especially mothers tend
feelings
to appraise the familiy more positive
(Laursen & Bukowski, 1997). So its
even adolescents said the difference
interesting thing to find out how
things. Silverberg and Steinberg (in
about in Indonesia especially at
Bornstein, 2002) noted that the
Semarang, Central Java?. Which
opinion is an attempt toward off the
known that Java is the 13th largest
decline in maternal life satisfaction
island in the world. The Javanese
that
adolescent
people is an ethnic group native to
detachment. Discrepant views of
the Indonesian island of Java and the
parent-child
largest ethnic group on the island and
accompanies
relationship
developmentally,
vary
however.
also
in
are
expressed
Indonesia.
increase
They
are
and
predominantly located Central Java,
discrepant expectations are highest at
Semarang consist of 32,4 million
the outset of adolescence, and views
people
gradually
(http://www.bps.go.id/aboutus.php?s
Mismatched
perceptions
converge
(Collins,1995;
over
time
Seiffge-Krenke,
p=0&kota=33)
1995).
Laursen and Collins (in Vangelisti,
Mother-Adolescents’ Relationship
2004) said that theories of adolescent
in Javanese Context
development give a central role that
Culture may be defined as a system
increasing closeness with peers and
of shared beliefs, values, customs,
extrafamilial
and
behaviors, and artifacts that the
Laursen explained that closeness
members of society use to cope with
during adolescence is manifest in
their world and with one another, and
forms that differ from closeness in
that are transmitted from generation
earlier
to
adults.
parent-child
Hartup
relationships
generation
through
learning
when was child, closeness mark with
(Matsumoto, 1999). This definition
as cuddling and extensive joint
suggests that culture involves three
interactions, decreases as children
key components: what people think,
4
what they do, and the material
wong). Mothers obtain their honor
products
because
they
produce.
Cultural
of
self-sacrificial
care
values and beliefs, particularly those
(Mulder, 1996).
pertaining to developmental goals
In
and
may
relationship between mothers and her
affect the function and organization
children appear from expression of
of parent-child relationships.
affection who emerge explicitly in
From Javanese words, woman comes
the way mother take cares her
from wani (brave) and tapa (suffer),
children. Disclosure of affection are
which means figure who brave to
not done yet explicitly proven in the
suffer for others. Mothers become
treatment of mother to child. The
central figure in the family for
quality
forming and maintaning families.
relationship seems to be the primary
This
as
indicator of identity, self-esteem, and
matrifokalitas symptom. By that so
moral attitudes of adolescents in Java
mother is an ever-present figure and
(Handayani & Noviyanto, 2004)
pay
socialization
practices,
condition
attention,
can
called
be
Javanese
of
family,
the
closeness
mother
child
trusted
completely. Naturally mother figure
METHOD
in Javanese culture always respected
Respondents
than anything, she will always be
A
embedded deep in the emotion and
developed by Kim (2010) was sent to
life of her children.
1523
By giving birth and nurture, she is
studying in Semarang (male = 479 ;
the living symbol of self-sacrifice; by
female = 1044) ; Aged range
being accessible and attentive to her
between 17-26 years old (mean =
offspring, she extends trust and
19.15; SD = 2.719).
emotional warmth and the symbol of
Instruments
homeliness; as the first teacher, she
Respondents were asked the question
lays the foundation for the evolution
from questionnaire about “How much
of the child on its way to becoming
they feel close to their mother?” as
fully Javanese or fully human (dadi
well as the reason why they feel
Parent-Child
Questionnaire
undergraduate
students
close to their mother. The researcher
categories through listing all the
decided to use questionnaire to elicit
thematic ideas that emerged from the
information in order that respondents
data. When a response revealed a
received an identical set of questions,
new topic, a cetegory was created to
phrases in exactly the same way,
accomodate that topic. The final
leading to standardisation of the
category structure emerged after four
responses which higher reliability
coders had discuss and make an
(Hayes, 2000). It was also proper to
aggreement. To account for any bias
use questionnaire for the purpose of
in the coding, three undergraduate
this study, because as a larger
research assistants were trained and
number of subjects could be reached.
coded 20% of the surveys.
An
extra
benefit
of
using
questionnaires is that information can
RESULT
guarantee
and
The research question asked the
therefore may elicit more thruthful
reason why the participants feel close
responses
Open
to their mother. The frequency data
questions ensure higher ecological
pointed out that the most reason they
validity as the respondents is not
feel close to their mother were
confined by choice of answes, and as
providing emotional needs (63.4%, n
result this allows ‘true opinions’ to
= 967), fulfilling physical needs
be confirmed (Hayes, 2000).
(15.1%, n = 230), being a good role
Data Analysis
model (7.5%, n = 114), and because
The data was analysed using content
of consanguinity (5.3%, n = 81).
analysis. The responses to the open-
Completed cateogorization showed
ended questions were coded into
at table.1.
confidentially
(Hayes,
2000).
6
Table 1. Mother-adolescents closeness in Indonesia
Sex
Category
1. Fulfilling emotional
needs
Willing to share
everything
Understanding child
Give love
Give comfort
Emotionally close
2. Fulfilling physical
needs
Physical presence
Nurturing
3. Being a good role
model
Being meaningful figure
Being a good role model
4. Consanguinity
Gave birth
Child obligation
5. Others
Unidentified + do not
feel close to the mother
6. Blank
Total
Male
261 (54.5)
Total
female
706
(67.6)
967
(63.5)
95
(19.8)
304
(29.1)
399
(26.2)
53
70
23
20
95
(11.1)
(14.6)
(4.8)
(4.2)
(19.8)
196
79
85
42
135
(18.8 )
(7.6)
(8.1)
(4.0)
(12.9)
249
149
108
62
230
(16.3)
(9.8)
(7.1)
(4.1)
(15.1)
51
44
47
(10.6)
(9.2)
(9.8)
101
34
67
(9.7)
(3.3)
(6.4)
152
78
114
(10.0)
(5.1)
(7.5)
33
14
43
20
23
7
7
(6.9)
(2.9)
(9.0)
(4.2)
(4.8)
(1.5)
(1.5)
45
22
38
27
11
13
13
(4.3)
(2.1)
(3.6)
(2.6)
(1.1)
(1.2)
(1.2)
78
36
81
47
34
20
20
(5.1)
(2.4)
(5.3)
(3.1)
(2.2)
(1.3)
(1.3)
(5.4)
479
(100.0)
85
26
(8.1)
1044
(100.0)
111
( 7.3)
1523
(100.0)
Separately, closeness between sons
answer about fulfilling emotional
and
needs, male are higher at physical,
daughter
slightly
have
differences, the figure 1 shown that
female tend to higher than male in
good role model and consanguity.
Figure 1. Closeness between male adolescents and female adolescents
Figure 2 shown about how close
feel much close to their mother and
adolescents with their mother. From
46.2% female adolescents feel very
that chart, we can initiated that about
much close to their mother.
49.8% male adolescents respondent
Figure 2. How close respondents feel to their mother?
DISCUSSION
With that ways, children dont think
Result reveal that fulfilling emotional
twice when want to share about their
needs
self. Its apparent from answers like:
become
most
respondent
answer which is 63,4%. At this
themes, relationship with mother is
characterizes by willing to share
everything, giving an unconditional
emotional
support,
giving
299.1.A. because mother is the place
to share my sense and the story of my
life
330.1.A. because I always tell her
everything.
love,
comfort and emotionally close with
From figure 1 above, we can
children. At second place followed
conclude why there are differences
by fulfiling physical needs, because
about male and female adolescents
mother being good role model and
perceived their closeness to their
because their consanguity. Its quite
mother, it could be happened, its
different
in addition what Kim
because mother talked more about
(2008) found, that South Korean
emotions, affected more to her
parents traditionally tend to consider
daughter than sons. Its also the ways
high levels of (strict) control and
of the mother nurturing and inherit
involvement in their children’s daily
the daughter, who prepared to be an
lives as a way of expressing parental
adult women and someday become a
love (affection) and caring toward
mother too, in order to fulfil the
their children. In this research,
culture
expectation
mother are describing as loving
should
be
person
affectionally.
(trisna),
gentle,
fully
that
tender,
woman
and
fully
affection, and understanding her
This results, in line with parent-child
children, which demonstrated by an
relationship research, conduct by
example of respondents answer, such
Kim and Choi (1994) at South Korea
as:
who found that mothers are to be
benevolent
295.1.A. because my mother is the
one who most understands me.
1154.1.A.She always understand my
condition and what I felt.
providing
and
understanding,
themselves
as
the
emotional provider of the family.
Mother will nurturing by emotion
work, means that women suporting
it happens it will become bad
feel responsible for meeting the
behavior,being sinner or godless. Its
emotional needs of the children
exist in respondent answer, like:
(DeVault in Vangelisti,2004).
1239.1.A.heaven lays on mother feet.
1415.1.A.because i respect her. In
religion, blessing from God is similar
to parents blessing. Heaven = when
mother give her blessing (ridha) to
her children.
At figure 2, 84.7% respondents feel
very much close to their mother. It
proved that relationship with mother
remain as strong and secure as before
and
still
going
through
until
From that answer, it is also seen that
adolescents. It interesting part, why
Moslem
they feel close eventhough they
influenced respondent lives, where
already become young adult? This
most of respondents are moslem
finding different with several other
(88%). One well-known narrative in
studies
are
the Hadith underlines the respect
increases in negativity and decreases
paid to mothers. It tells of a man who
in the closeness between parents and
asked the prophet Mohammad to
youth (Collins & Steinberg, 2006;
whom he should be dutiful. The
McGue et al., 2005). From Javanese
answer was, “your mother, your
context, being
mother,
that
mention
there
close to
mother
value
your
become
mother
heavily
and
your
represents one of the devotion of the
father." It caused eventhough they
children to their parents (dharma
are growing up, mother remained an
bakti). Closeness, as well as one
important figure in their life.
form of child respect to the mother,
When adolescents develop and maintain
because there statement
their
in our
closeness
with
the
mothers,
society that “surga berada dibawah
simultaneous provide maternal support.
telapak kaki ibu” (heavens lays on
Laursen, Furman & Mooney (2006)
mother feet) so parents blessing
have shown that perceived maternal
especially mother is representation of
support
God blessing, with when childs dont
adolescents’ global self-worth.And
close with their mother it means that
from the result we can said that theres
they ignoring the mother, and when
is
interdependence
associated
pattern
with
among
10
adolescents
to
their
mother.
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