C H A P T E R 2 : Media Organizations A DAY IN THE LIFE OF LLOYD KAUFMAN
40 C H A P T E R 2 : Media Organizations A DAY IN THE LIFE OF LLOYD KAUFMAN
from creating strategy for the Independent Film and Tele- vision Alliance Trade Association (IFTA) to whipping the Troma employees who make mistakes, to writing and direct- ing iconic movies that influence a generation of directors.
I have observed what he does through the span of a normal day. So here I am to tell you what the head of the legendary and last living, truly independent film studio goes through to keep the studio running.
8:45 a.m. In the early morning, it is very quiet in the Troma office; everybody is doing his or her or its own work, keeping to themselves. Every now and then the phone rings and a short conversation would go on, but that never gets the atten- tion of the employees. Everything is calm until I look out
FIGURE 2-2 Lloyd Kaufman the window and see a 63-year-old man, staggering (he calls it jogging) across the 59th Street Bridge in 97-degree heat, drenched in sweat, looking like he’s about to have a heart attack. The door bursts open finally, and Lloyd Kaufman flows through to his desk, right across from his Troma co-founder Michael Herz.
After a whole 5 seconds of resting, he walks over to some of the employees in the editing room who are put- ting together the Behind the Scenes footage from Poultry- geist. Lloyd has been shooting and editing with 35 mm film for almost 40 years and doesn’t have a clue on how to work Troma’s Final Cut Pro software used today. Getting a specific vision across to another person who is editing it for you can
be incredibly frustrating, so from there on, we can all hear the muffled sound of Lloyd blowing steam in the editing room while every now and then being able to make out some of the words coming from the room (usually they include “I’m going
FIGURE 2-3 Stuart Linver, intern for Lloyd Kaufman
to blow my brains out!”). 10:00 a.m.
Lloyd Kaufman, Co-Founder and President of
That’s just the start of him going around to everybody work-
Organizational Information Flows 41
each and every one of them, unlike most companies and celebrities, who could give two shakes about the people who look up to them and send back an automated response or just don’t respond at all, leaving the fans broken down and depressed.
12:15 p.m. Lloyd carries a BlackBerry (he calls it his “crack fairy”) and Twitters about five times a week. The Twittering is inter- rupted by a 16-year-old aspiring filmmaker buzzing at the front door of the Troma Building to talk to Lloyd about having him do a cameo appearance in his film that’s cur- rently in preproduction written and directed by this boy. Many scripts are sent in with small parts written for Lloyd, from small, no-budget films like Bloodbath in the House of Knives and Knight of the Living Dead to big-studio films like Crank: High Voltage and Slither. After talking to the young filmmaker, it’s time for Lloyd to put on his serious hat. He makes some phone calls for IFTA to lobby a con- gressional committee in Washington about how the greedy media conglomerates are crushing the independent film industry. (For more information, watch “Lloyd Kaufman Defines Media Consolidation” at http://www.youtube.com/ user/troma.)
1:00 p.m. Lloyd now works on his MySpace and Facebook profiles, which have thousands of friends, while he scarfs down a nutritious lunch. What’s better than a nice big bag of Cheez Doodles ® ? Then there’s nothing better to go with the Cheez Doodles but a nice bag of Twizzlers ® , and to polish that off,
a two-liter bottle of Diet Coca-Cola ® . It’s the perfect quick meal that fits in between any amount of work. That quick and hearty lunch gives Lloyd enough energy to start talking to his assistant about the upcoming San Diego Comic-Con at which he will be making an appear- ance. Not only that, but during the time in San Diego there will be a roast of Lloyd. Spider-Man creator Stan Lee is one of
out!” until the door buzzes again and it’s time for another appointment.
2:30 p.m. The door opens, and it is the 15-year-old Internet blogger sensation known as “Coolduder.” He walks through the door ready to talk about his appearance in Lloyd’s upcoming music video for the band Not the Government. Yes, this con- tinues for another hour before all the information is sorted out for shooting and it’s back to going through the mail until he comes upon a script submitted to Lloyd for his next feature- length film and, after wasting his time reading some of the horrid piece of crap, writes a response letter telling the writer it did not pass, while the script is thrown into the garbage bin next to old intern body parts.
3:30 p.m. Two wannabe Tromettes (gynos [women] with small clothing and big … brains) come to the office. One has guns the size of bowling balls. The other has fun pillows the size of bowling balls. I believe in God again. So the remaining mail is gone through and then there is an evening meet and greet at The Toxic Avenger Musical now playing in an NYC theatre that Lloyd needs to prepare for.
4:45 p.m. Lloyd receives word that Showtime cable TV network has “passed” on Poultrygeist. Even though it has played in over 300 screens, gotten great reviews from the New York Times, Entertainment Weekly, etc., and sold a kabillion DVDs, Poul- trygeist, like Citizen Toxie and Trey Parker’s Cannibal the Musical, will never play North American TV. “It’s economic blacklisting,” says Lloyd. “I am going to blow my brains out!”
6:30 p.m. It’s finally time to leave Troma, and Lloyd has a public appearance to make at the showing of The Toxic Avenger Musical. Of course he can’t go in his ripe jogging clothes. So Lloyd changes into his suit and trademark bow tie that