The last is making an interpretation of the findings based on the understanding
sex feelings and do not recognize what is happening to them. The negative impact of self concept is the most obvious consequence in this stage mainly because
individuals also acknowledge the ethical and moral values of the family and society. They adapt with the constructed social rules and learn to live by following
them. The negative perspectives on homosexuality directly affect the way homosexuals perceive themselves. The thought that homosexuality is wrong and
that everyone must marry with the opposite sex becomes the reason why homosexuals develop negative conceptions. Individuals will feel different,
alienated, and alone. As an Edwardian gentleman who
is “stepping into the niche that England had prepared for him” Forster, 1987:55, Maurice’s homosexuality is barely
noticed by himself. However, the same-sex feelings exist, hidden by denial and repression to protect himself from awareness. When Maurice comes back from the
school to his suburban home in London, he finds that his childhood friend, a garden boy named George has left because, in Mrs. Hall’s words, “he was getting
too old. Howell always changes the boy every two years” Forster, 1987:17. Although Maurice and George have a huge class barrier, it seems that Maurice
unconsciously has some feelings towards George. It is indicated by the respond Maurice gives when he heard the news of George’s leaving: he breaks down in
tears. This can be seen in the following quotation. He shook his head. She was grieved at her failure to make him happy,
and began to cry too. The girls ran out, exclaiming, Mother, what’s wrong with Maurice? “He’s overtired,” said Mrs. Hall, her
explanation for everything. “Come to your room, Morrie. Oh my sweet, this is really too dreadful.” “No I’m all right.” He clenched his
teeth, and a great mass of sorrow that had overwhelmed him by rising
to the surface began to sink. He could feel it going down into his heart until he was con
scious of it no longer. “I’m all right.” He looked around him fiercely and dried his eyes. “I’ll play Halma, I think.”
Before the pieces were set, he was talking as before; the childish collapse was over Forster, 1987: 17.
Forster does not explicitly tell who this garden boy is and what kind of relationship he and Maurice have in the past, yet Maurice’s loss for George
definitely affects him mentally and physically. Although he denies his sorrow of losing George by saying he is overtired, Maurice unconsciously experiences
homoerotic longings for George. He feels a great mass of sorrow that overwhelm him, especially when he is alone in his bedroom. In there, he cannot deny his
sorrow anymore. The trouble was the looking-glass. He did not mind seeing his face in
it, nor casting a shadow on the ceiling, but he did mind seeing his shadow on the ceiling reflected in the glass. He would arrange the
candle so as to avoid the combination, and then dare himself to put it back and be gripped with fear. He knew what it was, it reminded him
of nothing horrible. But he was afraid. In the end he would dash out the candle and leap into bed. Total darkness he could bear, but this
room had the further defect of being opposite a street lamp. On good nights the light would penetrate the curtains unalarmingly, but
sometimes blots like skulls fell over the furniture. His heart beat violently, and he lay in terror, with all his household close at hand
Forster, 1987: 19.
Maurice always feels reluctant when he goes to his room. The room frightens him. There is a looking glass in his room that keeps bothering Maurice if
he sees his shadow on the ceiling is reflected in the glass. Although it reminds him of nothing horrible, he is afraid of it and he will try to arrange the candle in the
room to avoid seeing his own reflection in the glass. Sometimes, he will put out the candle and sleep in total darkness. If he is lucky, there will be light that will
penetrate the curtains. Sometimes blots like skulls fall over the furniture, which is