Without her daughter’s consent, she will do nothing. The daughter also does the same.
6. Conflict
a. The Meaning of Conflict
According to Noller and Fitzpatrick in their book Communication in Family Relationship, conflict occurs in a family because family members hold a
difference between them. They do not agree with the events and situations in their lives, such as one’s behavior, one’s opinion, and one’s decision. They differ about
what is appropriate behavior in a given situation, who take family tasks, how resources should be managed, and how decision should be made Noller and
Fitzpatrick 99. Thus, a conflict is a situation when one has his or her own behavior, opinion, and decision. Based on Baron and Byrne 276, when the child
turns into adult, the parent-child relationship will be less pleasant and more conflicts in their interaction. The parents can fully control their child. But, when
the child is growing to be adult, parents can not exercise dominance because they will get rebellion from their child. Thus, the quarrel happens because parents
control their child too much. In Psychology of Women, Helena Deutsch 322 proposes the causes of
conflicts in mother-daughter relationship. Firstly, the daughter considers her mother as a rival in getting her father’s attention and love. Secondly, the daughter
does not accept her mother’s authoritarian power over her life. When her daughter finds her freedom and becomes independent, the mother is afraid of losing her
daughter. Thus, the mother uses authoritarian power over her daughter’s life and becomes over protective. Thirdly is the influence of mother’s bad memory in her
own youth. The mother tries to protect her daughter from repeating the same fate. Her over protection usually leads to the rebellion and conflict in their relationship.
b. Model of Conflict Resolution
Noller and Fitzpatrick present three models of conflict resolutions which are proposed by Blake and Mouton, Pruitt and Rubbin, and Rusbult. This study
only concerns on the model of conflict resolution proposed by Blake and Mouton. Blake and Mouton present five types of approaches in resolving the
conflict. They are avoidance, competition, soothing, solving and compromise. Avoidance refers to the physical and emotional avoiding the situation and
unwillingness to talk about it. Competition or pushing aggression shows no care for others’ feeling. It is seen as putting one’s own concern than in relationship.
Soothing is a way people use to show their interest in relationship. They tend to ignore own feeling in order to prevent an open conflict. In solving, people
concerns on the interest in both of relationship and their selves. It involves expressing feeling openly and directly, exploring the cause of the conflicts,
clarifying misunderstanding and looking for a solution. The last is compromise. In this model, people also concern for self and some for relationship. It is less
satisfactory than problem solving. In resolving the problem, compromise tends to gain something of one’s want and give something of other’s want qtd. in Noller
and Fitzpatrick 106.
B. Theoretical Framework
There are some theories applied in order to answer the problem formulated in this study. In this part, I would like to explain which theories used and how they
are applied in the analysis. The main aim of this study is to find out the meanings of love to Kate for
Sara. However, analyzing the main and minor characters and analyzing the relationship between Sara and her children are necessary as means to look into the
deep meaning of Sara’s love to her dying daughter. To find out the main major and minor secondary characters, I use the theory of character proposed by
Abram and Henkle. The two proponents have same idea of the character types. As their theories are correlated, those are useful to analyze the character.
In analyzing the relationship between Sara and her children, it is better to know whether Sara is a masochistic or a narcissistic mother. Since the types of
motherliness have influences on a mother – children relationship, I use theory of motherhood proposed by Helena Deutsch. To analyze the relationship between
Sara and her children, I also use some theories from Noller and Fitzpatrick, Gouran, and Mark. I include Gouran’s Mastering Communication because
relationship is closed to the interaction within the family. Thus, it facilitates to describe their relationship. Mark’s Mother Daughter Relationship – Reaping Its
Positive Benefits is used to find out the types of Sara and her daughters’ relationship.
Meanwhile, in order to analyze the conflict between them, I employ the
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