102 Another example is when parents asked their child to do something but the child
does not want to and then cries. With this condition, parents often can not decide what to do. When their child is crying parents often punish and be angry to their
child. A child who is crying can not concentrate to what he is doing. When parents ask their child to study, for example, a child can not do it while crying. Actually, a
child cries can be caused by some factors at least because he doesn’t feel comfort with the condition or cannot have what he needs.
C. How to Say “No” to our children
The power of “crying’ often makes parents just follow to what their child wants. What parents have to do is to find a good way to make the child follow and not
crying. Actually, there is no mystery as to why children say “No” to parents’ but the most important thing is parents also can say “No” to their child.
When a child responds to a parent by crying, whining, throwing a temper tantrum, or just saying “No” it’s common for parents to punish the child. But children who
are highly uncooperative have most likely been punished repeatedly. If punishment worked, a parent would be using it less often rather than more often with a child
because the result of the punishment would be to reduce or stop the child’s unfavorable behaviors. Furthermore, when we try to administer punishment, we can
easily get into a power struggle with our child. Here are some important preconditions proposed by Maagh 2004 to say “No” to
our child when they force us with crying:
First, be aware that some habitual ways of dealing with our child, especially punishing her, may actually be making the negative interactions worse and
harder to change.
Second, research tells us that the way to make a request of a child can affect how she responds. It’s easier to avoid power struggles and get compliance
from our child if we give her directions in a clear, direct, and specific fashion.
Third, we have to use as few words as possible, and give her a reasonable amount of time to comply. By contrast, we may encourage power struggles
with our child if our commands are vague, overly wordy, and include multiple instructions for the desired behavior Walker, Ramsey, Gresham, 2004.
The fourth we must be able to create rapport with our child. Rapport involves communicating with a child, using the child’s point of view. Say in response?
“No, you’re wrong; I really don’t want to be in style?” Once rapport is created, it becomes easier to obtain compliance.
D. Conclusion
