THE ‘FALSE SELF’ PERSONALITY OF THE WOMEN CHARACTERS ON TONI MORRISON’S SULA AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Sarjana Sastra in English Letters

  THE ‘FALSE SELF’ PERSONALITY OF THE WOMEN CHARACTERS ON TONI MORRISON’S SULA AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Sarjana Sastra in English Letters

  By

LIA HARININGTYAS

  Student Number: 014214097

ENGLISH LETTERS STUDY PROGRAMME DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH LETTERS FACULTY OF LETTERS SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA 2009

  

THE ‘FALSE SELF’ PERSONALITY OF THE WOMEN

CHARACTERS ON TONI MORRISON’S SULA

AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS

Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements

for the Degree of Sarjana Sastra

in English Letters

  

By

LIA HARININGTYAS

  

Student Number: 014214097

ENGLISH LETTERS STUDY PROGRAMME

DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH LETTERS

FACULTY OF LETTERS

SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY

YOGYAKARTA

  

2009

  

Though you cannot go back and start

again,

you can start from now and have a brand

new end.

  

(anonymous)

  This Undergraduate Thesis is dedicated to My Beloved Parents, My Big Brothers,

  & Myself.

  

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  This work is imperfect but the love and support given during the journey finishing it are honest. It is not merely about the result, but the process. I worship Thee, the Almighty Jesus Christ, to whom I walk with, for His undemanding love, for always waiting for me whenever I run out from Him and get lost.

  I would like to thank my beloved father, Hari Santoso, for supporting me in his unique ways and my loving mom, Chatarina Martanti for love, prayers and patient in every ‘evil’ thing I do. I thank my two big brothers, Andre Wahyu Widoyo and Febrian Hari Putro for big love, laugh and hug.

  An enormous gratitude goes to my advisor, Dra. Theresia Enny Anggraini, M.A., for her patience, attention, corrections, and helpful suggestion, my co- advisor, Dewi Widyastuti, S. Pd., M. Hum, for giving suggestions and corrections and I greatly thank my examiner, Maria Ananta Tri S, S. S., M. Ed, for useful discussion.

  A phase of life in Sanata Dharma has united me with lots of precious people with whom I improve my life. I thank Xantie, Fany ‘Jutex’, Imel, Petriza, Deny, Fonny, Im-Boed and Monda, for sharing love and tears. Once I ask Him friends, He gave me angels. I thank my ‘sisters’, mb Yeni, mb BJ, mb Njunk for never ending support, brothers and sisters in PSM Cantus Firmus, Sekawan choir,

  

Kontjo Kenthel choir, Pasca Sarjana USD staff and the generation 2001 of

  English Letters Department for invaluable life experiences. All of you complete my drawing book.

  Lia Hariningtyas

  

TABLE OF CONTENTS

  TITLE PAGE i

  APPROVAL PAGE ii

  ACCEPTANCE PAGE iii

  MOTTO PAGE iv

  DEDICATION PAGE v

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS vi

  STUDENT ORIGINALITY STATEMENT vii LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PUBLIKASI viii TABLE OF CONTENTS ix

  ABSTRACT x

  ABSTRAK xi

CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION

  1 A. Background of the Study

  1 B. Problem Formulation

  4 C. Objectives of the Study

  4 D. Definition of Terms

  4 CHAPTER II: THEORETICAL REVIEW

  6 A. Review of Related Studies

  6 B. Review of Related Theories

  9

  1. Theory on Character and Characterization

  9

  2. Relation between Literature and Psychology

  11

  3. Theory of the ‘False self’

  12 C. Theoretical Framework

  24 CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY

  25 A. Object of the Study

  25 B. Approach of the Study

  26 C. Method of the Study

  27 CHAPTER IV: ANALYSIS

  30 A. The Characterization of the Women Characters

  30

  1. The Characterization of Sula Peace

  30

  2. The Characterization of Nel Wright

  39 B. The Description of the Women Characters as Representative of ‘False self’

  48

  1. The Description of Sula Peace as Representative of ‘False self’

  49

  2. The Description of Nel Wright as Representative of ‘False self’

  58 CHAPTER V: CONCLUSION

  67 BIBLIOGRAPHY

  72

  

ABSTRACT

  LIA HARININGTYAS (2009). THE ‘FALSE SELF’ PERSONALITY OF

  SULA

THE WOMEN CHARACTERS ON TONI MORRISON’S .

  Yogyakarta: Department of English Letters, Faculty of Letters, Sanata Dharma University.

  This undergraduate thesis studies the personality of women characters in the novel, Sula by Toni Morrison to reveal their characterization as representation of ‘false self’ person. This novel was published in 1973 by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., New York but the novel edition used in this thesis is the hardcover edition published by Plume Book, New American Library in 1982. The story is centered on the friendship between two adult black women, Sula and Nel. Though they were raised in the different way by their mothers, they develop themselves as the representatives of ‘false self’.

  To analyze the novel, the writer formulates two problems. The first is how the two women characters, Sula and Nel, are characterized. The second is how both characters are described as representative of ‘false self’.

  The approach used in this thesis is psychological approach that took psychological theory of ‘false self’ that mainly develops to be a result of the quality of mothering the child receives. The mother’s function as a mirror to the child’s gestures and experiences permits the child to make emotional connections with other people. When she fails to understand the child’s gestures, then the child were subjected to the mother’s needs and he/she incorporates him/her feeling to the mother’s. Therefore, the mother-daughter relationship in the novel is revealed because it is the core of the theory and it influences their characteristics.

  Through the application theories, the result of first analysis is that Sula was characterized as autonomous and independent woman but lack of guidance, she is emotional when making decisions and doing things but dares to confront with others to explore her life. Though she lives her thought and emotions freely, on the other hand it shows her lack of ambition because she has no purpose of life so that she chooses to live alone. In fact, she rules her life. Nel, the other character was described as polite, obedient, not emotional, calm and mature in making decisions and doing things. But after all, it shows her disability to rule herself and incorporated her demands on others. She is spiritless and unconsciously, depending herself to others. The result of second analysis shows that Sula and Nel represent themselves as ‘false self’ through their characteristics. Sula’s characteristics that are independent and free rather than Nel, but in other ways, put herself as ‘false self’ since she fails to make emotional relationship with others and focuses most on her own thought. Nel’s characteristics suited most with ‘false self’ traits because her obedience shows her struggle to incorporate her needs to her mother’s and society’s needs. Nel’s characteristics represent ‘false self’ characteristics. Based on the analysis, the writer concludes that even though they are different in their characteristics, they are presented as ‘false self’. Their relationship with the mother influences much to the development of their

  

ABSTRAK

LIA HARININGTYAS (2009). THE ‘FALSE SELF’ PERSONALITY OF THE

WOMEN CHARACTERS ON TONI MORRISON’S SULA. Yogyakarta:

Department of English Letters, Faculty of Letters, Sanata Dharma University.

  Dalam tesis ini, penulis mempelajari kepribadian para tokoh wanita pada novel berjudul Sula karangan Toni Morrison untuk mengungkapkan penokohan mereka sebagai penggambaran ‘diri yang salah’. Novel ini dipublikasikan tahun 1973 oleh Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., New York namun yang digunakan dalam skripsi ini adalah edisi hardcover yang diterbitkan oleh Plume Book, New American Library tahun 1982. Novel ini bercerita mengenai persahabatan diantara dua wanita berkulit hitam, Sula dan Nel. Meskipun mereka dibesarkan oleh ibu mereka dengan cara yang bertolak belakang, perkembangan pribadi mereka merupakan penggambaran ‘diri yang salah’.

  Untuk mendapatkan hasil dari analisis ini, penulis merumuskan dua permasalahan. Pertama adalah bagaimana penokohan kedua tokoh wanita, Sula dan Nel, dan yang kedua adalah bagaimana penokohan kedua tokoh tersebut menggambarkan ‘diri yang salah’.

  Tesis ini menggunakan pendekatan psikologi yang mengambil teori psikologi ‘diri yang salah’ yang merupakan hasil pola pengasuhan yang diterima anak dari ibunya. Fungsi ibu sebagai cerminan sikap tubuh dan tingkah laku anak memudahkan anak untuk menjalin hubungan emosional dengan orang lain. Ketika ibu tidak mampu memahami sikap tubuh anak, maka si anak dipaksa untuk memahami dan menyesuaikan keinginannya dengan keinginan ibu. Karenanya, hubungan ibu dan anak dalam novel ini menjadi inti pembahasan karena ini juga mempengaruhi penokohan para tokoh wanita tersebut.

  Hasil analisis pertama menunjukkan penokohan Sula sebagai wanita mandiri dan bebas namun tanpa arahan, emosional dalam bertindak tapi berani bersikap dalam masyarakat. Kebebasannya berekspresi juga menunjukkan tidak adanya ambisi. Pada kenyataannya, dia memilih untuk hidup sendiri dan mengatur kehidupannya sendiri. Tokoh wanita lainnya, Nel, digambarkan sebagai wanita sopan, patuh, kalem dan lebih matang dalam berfikir dan bersikap. Namun ini menunjukkan ketidakmampuan mengatur dirinya dan berusaha menyelaraskan keinginannya dengan orang lain serta tanpa sadar, menggantungkan dirinya pada orang lain. Hasil analisis kedua menunjukkan bahwa penokohan Sula dan Nel menggambarkan diri mereka sebagai ‘diri yang salah’. Penokohan Sula yang bebas dan mandiri menunjukkan ‘diri yang salah’ karena dia gagal menjalin hubungan emosional dengan orang lain dan terpusat hanya pada keinginannya. Penokohan Nel sesuai dengan penokohan ‘diri yang salah’ karena kepatuhannya menunjukkan perjuangan menyesuaikan keinginannya dengan keinginan orang- orang di sekitarnya. Berdasarkan hasil kedua analisis, penulis menyimpulkan bahwa kedua penokohan yang berbeda ini menggambarkan ‘diri yang salah’. Hubungan dengan ibu sangat berpengaruh terhadap perkembangan pribadi kedua tokoh tersebut dan menunjukkan keduanya sebagai sebagai penggambaran ‘diri yang salah’.

CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION A. Background of the Study Society is the place where someone lives, interacts, responds, and

  communicates with others to fulfill his or her needs. In a society, people can produce sets of culture, norms, and regulations to be society’s competence to regulate any person by giving sanctions in order to maintain the existence of the society (Zahn, 1964: 5-9). A person has to deal with the norms to make him or her easier in getting his or her needs. Someone’s ability to adapt with the norms of society is indirectly influenced by his or her personality development. Personality development of person determines by the individual’s heredity endowment, early experiences within the family, and important events in later life outside the home environment. It can be understood that not just the development of conscience, his or her sense of right and wrong, but also his or her identification with his or her parents’ moral judgments and moral standard espoused by the peers will influence his or her moral view that help him or her in suiting themselves to the norms.

  Family as the closest environment to a child plays important role in a child’s personality development before he or she enters a society. Stagner in Psychology

  

of Personality says that the family is a learning situation in which the parent is

  also a model of pattern which may be imitated by the child (1948: 352). Imitated by the child, mother as the caretaker needs to provide a situation that is liberating and supportive so that the child able to develop a sense of independence in line with the exercise of his or her ego functions (Elliot, 2002: 31). The child is allowed to feel free to express his or her desire and knows how to differentiate good from bad actions, whether that is right or wrong and whether that is acceptable or not.

  If the mother fails to provide the liberating and supportive situation, the failure can lead the child to a ‘false self’. Winnicott defines the ‘false self’ in Anthony Elliot’s Psychoanalytic Theory: an Introduction the same as a person unable to establish stable emotional relations with others (Elliot, 2002: 32). A ‘false self’ person can either be ignorant to others or internalize the attitudes and reaction of others by abandoning his or her own desire.

  Sula and Nel, the two women characters on Sula, were raised in a family with the absence of male power and led by women. The friendship they had during childhood is complementary relationship in which Nel can relief herself from neatness she had from her mother and vice versa, Sula enjoys the neatness of Nel’s house since her mother never states a strict role on her. In their adult life, Sula becomes a pariah of community because of her contradictory behavior to the norms. Nel herself becomes identical with women in her society, having a family and become a mother. To sum up, they are the product of their mother’s breed. Though they described differently, both of them are the representative of the ‘false self’. Sula consciously disregards her woman responsibilities though it against the society while Nel behaves identically with women in her society in order to be accepted by the society. How they can be the representatives of ‘false self’ become the interesting topic to analyze.

  The writer is interested to explore the topic of this thesis because the answer of the topic will help the readers understand how someone can be said as the ‘false self’. This topic is also interesting to analyze because readers can learn that family and environment around them are contributed much to their process in suiting themselves in society. Studying this topic may add readers’ knowledge as they may get something from the literary works. Edgar V. Roberts and Henry E. Jacobs in their book, Fiction: An Introduction to Reading and Writing say that,

  Literature helps us grow, both personally and intellectually; it provides an objective based on our knowledge and understanding; it helps connect ourselves to the broader cultural, philosophic, and religious world of which we are a part; it enables us to recognize human dreams and struggles in different places and times that we would never otherwise know (1989: 2).

  Regardless of the representative of ‘false self’ could be either male or female, the topic might enriched the discussion on women-centered psychology. The analysis drawn in this thesis might show one of the psychological conditions experienced by (black) women at World War II as the impacts of economic deprivation. Diane Gillespie and Missy Dehn Kubitschek said in their essay that Toni Morrison’s Sula, a contemporary novel about female friendship, “offers a view of female psychological development that defies traditional male-centered interpretations of female development and calls out for an expansion of the women-centered paradigm” (Iyasere, 2000: 20).

  Related to this thesis, the writer will explain how the ‘false self’ of both women characters is described through their personality and behavior and it presented through the characters’ characterization. Then, this thesis observes how the different personality of the characters leads them as representative of ‘false . self’

  B. Problem Formulation

  In order to analyze the story, the writer limits the discussion into two problems formulated as follows:

  1. How are the two women characters, Sula and Nel, characterized in the story?

  2. How are both characters described as representative of ‘false self’?

  C. Objectives of the Study

  The aims of this thesis are first, to know the personality of the two women characters, Sula and Nel, through each characterization. Second, is to identify both women characters as representation of ‘false self’ based on the characterization drawn previously.

  D. Definition of Terms

  There are several words appear as keywords related to the analysis. To avoid ambiguity, the words need to be defined as follow:

  1. Personality that according to The Penguin Dictionary of Psychology means a simple description of an individual’s characteristic modes of behaving, perceiving, and thinking (Reber, 1995: 556).

  2. Self, according to International Encyclopedia of Psychology, means a complex like, and what others would like the individual to be; because the self is created through, and has implications for; an individual’s interactions with others (Magill, 1996: 1480). 3. ‘False self’, based on the explanation in Psychoanalytic Theory, means a self that compulsively anticipates the reactions of others. This self is at once a defense against the failure of maternal object as well as an attempt by the infant to establish some form of object relationship, however frail and brittle (Elliot, 2002: 74).

  The term ‘false self’ will be described broadly in the review of related theory and the other words mentioned in the title and analysis can be understood using English dictionary because it has been common words that generally used in daily life.

CHAPTER II THEORETICAL REVIEW A. Review of Related Studies Toni Morrison, the author who is being discussed in this study, is an American author and an educator who becomes one of the greatest and most

  influential figures in African American literature. Winning Nobel Prize in Literature, Morrison then is recognized internationally as an outstanding, fine writer. Each of Morrison’s novels is as original as everything that has appeared in black literature in the last twenty years. Like what Charles Larson stated

  The contemporaneity that unites them (the troubling persistence of racism in America) is filled with an urgency that only a black writer can have about our society (www.cs.berkeley.edu/~lakhia/morrison/biograph.htm l ).

  Morrison writes what she called as ‘village’ literature, fiction for her people which is necessary and legitimate but acceptable with all sorts of people. The idea of protection, particularly the black family’s efforts to offer emotional and physical sanctuary against slavery or economic deprivation becomes a great theme in her literature (Reynolds, 1999: 197-198). Likewise Encyclopedia Americana

  

Volume 19 stated that her writing is rooted in the desire to bear witness to the

  enslavement of African Americans as an essential American cultural fact and the significant characteristic of her novels is that it deals with the effort of African Americans to survive within cultural, economic, and social disruption in their communities (1995: 475).

  When there was an explosion of talented black writers to the attention of the American reading public in 1960s, Toni Morrison perceived a void in the canon where a black female voice should be. A chronological reading of Morrison’s work, like Birch explained in Black American Women’s Writing, will show that her own voice gathers strength in later work as she considers the issue of female friendship, different aspects of love, and the help provided by community like in

  

The Bluest Eye (1970) and Sula (1973), in which she focuses on the Black female

(Birch, 1994: 150).

  Merriam-Webster’s Encyclopedia of Literature mentioned that Sula

  examines (among other issues) the dynamics of friendship and the expectations for the conformity within Black community (1995: 781). In Sula, Morrison points to what can be lost when community disappears. Technological progress had brought isolation; a distancing of individuals from the emotional nutrition which had characterized the Bottoms, the community in the novel. Morrison suggests that in striving to survive ‘whole’ within community in twentieth-century America, Black American should nourish and in turn are nourished by, their own community. With this, they can preserve the sense of identity, which Nel and Sula in their own ways, had set about finding (Birch, 1994: 163-164).

  Morrison’s need to articulate the uniqueness of female experience is realized in the women-centered The Bluest Eye and Sula which chart the progress of her female protagonists from childhood into womanhood. The characters in those novels show the unmitigated life experiences they had for having double burden as both woman and black, like what Birch stated

  The dragged Pecola Breedlove in The Bluest Eye is doomed to live forever in a state of perverted childhood, whilst Sula and Nel live into adulthood ultimately only given coherence by the death of Sula and Nel’s belated recognition of an abiding friendship.’ (1994: 150-151).

  This thesis, which tries to show the different personality of the characters as a representation of ‘false self’, is a study that could enriches the discussion on

  

Sula especially in women-centered psychology since the characters analyzed in

  the thesis are women. Dianne Gillespie and Missy Dehn Kubitschek state in their essay Who Cares? Women-centered Psychology in Sula that, Minority literature offers women-centered psychology another expansion of the female self beyond the Euro-American mother-daughter or friend-friend dyad; Afro-American literature often explores a self-in-community (Iyasere, 2000: 20). The mother-daughter relationship, powerful social and economic forces are crucial and affect much in the development of the female self, including Sula and

  Nel. Their representation as ‘false self’ cannot be separated from their relationship with family and community. This thesis topic is different from other topics even though it uses the psychoanalysis as its approach. This thesis topic is more to the psychological condition of the two woman characters, Sula and Nel, by applying a certain theory in psychology which is ‘false self’. It traces deeply to the personality of Sula and Nel, shaped mostly by their mother and their interactions to society, to see them as a description of ‘false self’ person. The writer positions this undergraduate thesis as the supporting evidence of other studies concentrated

  

th

on Afro-American woman in the early 20 century.

B. Review of Related Theories

  The related theories reviewed in this chapter will be used in order to answer the problems. The related theories are the theory on character and characterization, relation between literature and psychology, also the theory of ‘false self’.

1. Theory on Character and Characterization

  This undergraduate thesis will analyze both characters as representative of ‘false self’ based on their personality. Before analyzing their personality, the writer needs to know their characteristics using the theories on characters and characterization.

  Character is an imagined person who inhabits a story. In A Glossary of

  Literary Terms , Abrams defines character as

  person presented in a dramatic or narrative work, who are interpreted by the readers as being endowed with moral, dispositional, and emotional qualities that are expressed in what they say-the dialogue and by what they do-the action (1981: 23).

  In the story, its characters act in a reasonably consistent manner and the author has provided them with motivation; the basic in the characters’ temperament, desires, and moral value for their speech and actions; or sufficient reason to behave as they do (Kennedy, 1999: 45).

  The description of characters attitudes in the literary works is not only a process to make literary works alive but also a process to present the idea of moral uprightness in the human personality (Holman and Harmon, 1986: 81). M.J.

  

and English Novel for Overseas Students (1972: 161-173) illustrates some ways in

  representing the characters or what Rohrberger and Woods said as characterization, the process to create characters (1971: 20). The author attempts to make his characters understandable and to come alive for the readers.

  a. Personal description refers to physical appearance of the characters. The description is often related to his psychological condition. The personality itself can be reflected from the external appearance.

  b. Character as seen by another means the author can directly describe the character through the opinion of another. Other characters will give explanation about what the character is like. Other’s thought about a certain character can be significant factors to build an understanding of him.

  c. Through speech, the author can give us insight into the thought what the character says. Whenever the person is speaking, he is giving the readers some clue to his character.

  d. Past life of characters is always closely connected to his present life. By learning about a person’s life past, the author can give the reader a clue that has helped to shape a person’s character. It was given through direct comment by the author, through the person’s thought or through other person.

  e. Conversation with others and the things they say about him are the author’s clues to a person’s character. We need to pay attention towards the conversations of other characters. It is useful to go to speech-by-speech to determine exactly what it is meant or implied by each of them.

  f. Reactions to various situations and events could depict the person’s character. g. Direct comment is a straightforward description of the characters given by the author.

  h. There are several parts in a story when the author describes clearly what the characters have in their mind. The readers trace in the characters’ mind to know their thoughts of something. i. Mannerisms or habits done by the characters may tell the readers something about the characters.

2. Relation between Literature and Psychology

  Analyzing literary works relating to psychology means an application of the rule of psychology within works of literature, as Rene Wellek and Austin Warren explain in their book, Theory of Literature:

  By ‘psychology of literature’, or the study of the creative process, or the study of the psychological types and laws present within works of literature, or, finally, the effects of literature upon its readers (audience psychology) (1956: 81).

  Critics might interpret literary work without any reference to its author’s biography, though it is allowed. David Daiches explains further in his book

  

Critical Approaches to Literature that a critic can look at the behaviors of

  characters and the interactions among it in the novel under the modern psychological knowledge and when their behaviors confirm with what he or she knows about the subtleties of the human mind, he or she can use the theory as a mean of explicating and interpreting the work (1981: 337-338).

  In this thesis, the writer observes the behavior of the two woman characters and relates it to a psychological theory to know the psychological types of personality of the characters presented within works of literature.

3. Theory of the ‘False Self’

  The psychological theory used as a mean of explicating and interpreting the work of literature applied in this thesis is a theory of the ‘false self’, a theory of self conceptualized by D. W. Winnicott. D. W. Winnicott is an influential figure in British school of object relations theory who defines the concept of the ‘false self’. The object relations theory itself is an offshoot of psychoanalytic theory that emphasizes interpersonal relations, primarily in the family (whoever the first caretaker of the child) and especially between mother (mostly) and child. Victor Daniels mentions that inner images of the self and other and how they manifest themselves in interpersonal situations with environment become an interest of object relations theorists (www.sonoma.edu/users/d/daniels/objectrelations). Anthony Elliot, in Psychoanalytic Theory: an Introduction, adds that

  …object relations theory sees a fundamental link between self-formation and the environmental and emotional provisions provided by significant other persons (the dynamics of human interactions) (2002: 69). The interest of object relation theorists is on the close relationship of mother and child connected with how it affected the manifestation of child inner images.

  Mother plays an important role in a child effort to develop itself as an individual, especially in the very first stage of child personality development. Infancy is a period in human life in which the first sense of self was constructed. In this stage, newly born infant has to develop a sense of self from an original state of ‘unintegration’. This struggle of the self for an individuated existence characteristically centers on the quality of object relation between child and mother and ties to a state of what is called as ‘primary maternal occupation’. Winnicott conceptualizes that for a child to develop a healthy, genuine self, the mother must be a ‘good-enough mother’ and provides environmental provision called ‘good-enough mothering’ which is necessary for the development of a belief in benign environment.

  (www.sci.csuhayward.edu/~dsanberg/PSYTXLECTS/ PsyTxLect04ObjRelt) The mother, to be a ‘good-enough mother’, functions as a ‘mirror’ to reflect back to the child its own experiences and gestures, offers a special sort of presence (non-intrusive), or devotion (non-demanding support with external reality), which allows the child to experience itself as self-identical and feel free to create a ‘representational world’, imagine, desire, also be able to develop a sense of independence in line with the exercise of his or her ego functions (Elliot, 2002: 31 & 73). The mother, as a mirror, shows the child that she understands emotional states of jubilation and distress that leads a contact between the child and the real external world. Farnham and Lundberg in their essay further explain that in a family, a girl is already provided with the mother in whom she will have to believe that her mother’s nature, temperament and attitudes are ideals in which a girl depends on and strives as a woman before she discovers other ideals and models (Showalter, 1971: 237). Child’s ability to inhibit actions that are disapproved by society and to be concerned about the welfare of others is influenced by the identification with the parents. The way they are rewarded or punished for behavior in specific situations will influence their moral views and relations with others (Atkinson, 1983: 81). Therefore, the appearance of a stable core of selfhood depends on establishing the kind of relationship and provision that are at once liberating and supportive, creative and dependent, defined and formless. The repetition of the satisfaction of instinctual needs, the child comes to see the world as benevolent that corresponds to the child’s own capacity to create, develop good object relations and remain healthy.

  From this angle, Winnicott draws his distinction between the ‘true self’, a person capable of creating living, and the ‘false self’, a person unable to establish stable emotional relations with others. These selves develop as a result of the quality of the mothering the child receives (Elliot, 2002: 74). The good-enough mother, who understands and responds to the child spontaneous gestures, gives child’s weak ego the strength necessary to retain the expression of the ‘true self’.

  The child’s ego development has led to the creative and spontaneous expression of human needs and feelings. While on the other hands, the not good-enough mother, who cannot understand and react to such expressions, subjects the child to her own needs. The child tries desperately to make emotional relation with the mother by abandoning his or her own wishes and incorporating her demands, desires, and feeling.

  Each individual or a child needs positive regards, which are acceptance, liking, warmth, empathy, and respect from others who are significant to him or her. Such positive regards help the individual to accept, be himself, and reveal his or her true feeling behind a mask. Lacking a sense of trust from significant others close to him or her, human interaction for child is perceived as terrifying. The mother as the first and most significant other for the child plays an important task to give positive regards to the child so that the child can improve his or her self confident and express his or her feeling. When he or she is able to develop feeling of true positive regards for others, a harmonious relationship with others could maintain. Having a best friend relationship with somebody, a child might satisfy his or her needs because friendship pair functions to satisfy certain needs in each child, can act as vehicle of a child’s self-expression and to share values, attitudes, and expectations both for each other and for outsiders (Craig, 1979: 401).

  On the contrary, when he or she is unable to adequately express inner needs and emotional longings, he or she turns defensively against himself or herself by internalizing the attitudes and reactions of others (Elliot, 2002: 32) and fails to maintain a healthy relationship with others. He or she will tend to repress his or her needs to meet with others’. It is the essence of the ‘false self’, for Winnicott, that it operates to hide the ‘true self’ which it does by compliance with environmental demands. It is through the ‘false self’ that the child builds up a false set of relationships.

  In (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm), Peter K. Gerald listed 42 typical behavioral traits of ‘false self’ wounds that helped the writer to analyze the characters. The traits are listed as below. 1) S/He usually thinks in black-or-white ("bi-polar") terms: s/he sees things as either right or wrong, good or bad, relevant or not, logical or "stupid" - not somewhere between, or a mix. S/He's mildly to very uneasy with ambivalence, vagueness, or uncertainty. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm).

  2) S/He is often a (compulsive) perfectionist: achieving perfection is just "normal" (vs. special); S/He has trouble enjoying her/his own achievements, and is often uncomfortable accepting merited appreciation and praise.

  (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 3) S/He is often rigid and inflexible. S/He thinks obsessively, and/or acts compulsively, even if personally unpleasant, unnecessary, or unhealthy; or s/he is overly passive and compliant, fearing to take personal, social, and occupational initiatives. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 4) S/He is usually serious, intellectual, and analytic, wanting to understand life and situations, and know in great detail why things are as they are. S/He may be interested in psychology, counseling, and/or study and discuss human behavior "endlessly." (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 5) S/He is often confused, disorganized, overwhelmed, and "helpless;" or is fiercely independent, controlling, and over competent. S/He depends excessively on, or chronically procrastinates or avoids seeking appropriate medical, psychological, social, and/or spiritual help (self neglect).

  (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 6) S/He is uncomfortable being silly, spontaneous, or child-like ("doesn't know how to play"), or is always silly, simplistic, and joking. S/He is uncomfortable with, and frequently avoids, prolonged emotionally-intimate personal contacts. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm)

  7) S/He is extremely responsible (over-willing to take charge, organize, and fix things, even if personally taxing); or frequently irresponsible and undependable; and probably denies, minimizes, or rationalizes (explains) doing either one. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 8) S/He often has trouble feeling and/or expressing strong emotions, and/or tolerating them in others - especially anger, hurt, fear, and sadness. S/He often feels "nothing," or has frequent unpredictable or inappropriate outbursts of rage, sadness, weeping, "depression," or anxiety. S/He may never apologize, or apologizes "all the time." (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 9) S/He compulsively needs to control personal emotions, key relationships, and interpersonal situations. S/He is either overly aggressive, rigid, and domineering,

  

or subtly, persistently manipulative - e.g. using guilt-trips or a "helpless victim”

  stance, striving to "always" get her/his way. Where true, s/he probably denies, minimizes, jokes about, or rationalizes this. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 10) S/He has significant memory gaps about early childhood years and events, and one or both parents. S/He knows little about one or both parents' childhood experiences and feelings, and finds that unimportant or unremarkable. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 11) S/He's socially very shy or very adept, and has few or no real (intimate) friends. S/He has a history of relationship avoidances and/or "failures," including

  

divorce/s . S/He feels high discomfort with interpersonal commitment and/or

intimacy, and consistently denies, minimizes, or rationalizes (intellectually

  explains) this. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm)

  12) S/He may be sexually dysfunctional - e.g. impotent, frigid, or compulsively avoids sexual contact; or s/he is harmfully seductive and promiscuous, and/or secretly uncomfortable with, or ashamed of, her or his gender, body (parts), sexual feelings and fantasies, and/or behavior. S/He may have been, or was, sexually molested or abused as a child or young adult. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 13) S/He "never gets sick," or suffers chronic illnesses like migraines or other headaches, back, neck, or other muscle pain; insomnia or apnea, obesity; asthma; gastric, intestinal, or colon problems; anxiety attacks; phobias; allergies, or other emotional or physical maladies which may not respond to appropriate medications or therapies. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 14) S/He is highly uncomfortable about revealing personal thoughts, feelings, and

  or

  experiences (excessively distrustful often discloses personal things inappropriately (insensitive, over-trustful). (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 15) S/He is uncomfortable giving, getting, and/or observing affectionate and appropriate touching and hugging ("stiff" or "cold"), and/or often touches others dutifully, awkwardly or inappropriately. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 16) S/He often avoids personal conflicts with or between others, by changing or controlling the conversation, getting intensely angry, "collapsing," or withdrawing physically and/or emotionally ("numbing"); or s/he seems to often enjoy

triggering or experiencing conflict with or between others.

  (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 17) S/He is compulsive about and/or is (or was) addicted one or more of these:

  _ alcohol in some form _ prescription drugs _ illegal ("hard") drugs

  _ excitement / drama _ a special hobby _ pain / death _ sugar / carbohydrates _ money / wealth / saving / _ cleaning / neatness spending / gambling _ food / dieting / nutrition _ another person _ work or "busy-ness"

  _ sex / masturbation / porn _ fitness / health / _ God/worship/church / exercising salvation / hell / Satan _ lying/secrecy/truth/honesty _ "justice" / "fairness" _ image /others' opinions _ a social "cause" _ caffeine / nicotine _ material possessions _ emotional "recovery" _ _

  18) S/He has children, relatives, and/or past or present partner/s who obsess about, or are or were addicted to, one or more of the above.

  (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 19) S/He has recurring depression apathy, and/or tiredness "for -no reason." S/He may have periodic sleep disorders (e.g. insomnia) and/or nightmares, and may use medication for these. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 20) S/He repeatedly feels empty "something's missing (in me)," or "I'm different (than other people) somehow...", without knowing why.

  (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 21) S/He is fairly to very uncomfortable being alone, or prefers solitude to an unusual degree, and seems socially isolated. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 22) S/He has consistently low self-esteem; Often harshly self-critical; Discounts her/his own successes; Constantly apologetic or defensive; Usually discounts merited praise; Consistently avoids making or keeping solid eye contact with some or most men / women / authorities / people; Commonly uses "you" or "we" rather than "I." (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm)

  23) S/He often experiences "mind-racing" or "mind-churning": ceaseless "inner voices" (thought streams), which are frequently anxious, fearful, critical, argumentative, and/or chaotic. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 24) S/He is often hyper-vigilant: i.e. anxiously alert to the present and expected future actions of other people; Tends to "mind-read" and assume others' (usually negative) beliefs or intentions, and react to things that haven’t happened yet as though they had. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 25) S/He often smiles and/or chuckles automatically and inappropriately when nervous, hurt, confused, scared, angry, or worried (i.e. often); If so, s/he is usually unaware of this habit, can’t explain it, and may joke about it to hide anxiety. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 26) S/He often feels vaguely or clearly victimized by others or "fate"; Regularly

  

avoids taking responsibility for her/his own choices, and denies or endlessly

  rationalizes doing so; or assumes too much responsibility, and blames themselves harshly (feels guilty) for things beyond their control.

  (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 27) S/He is highly sensitive to real or imagined criticism from others; Unnecessarily rationalizes, explains, and defends their own actions and values; S/He is quick to blame others, or often empathizes with "the other guy’s" situation and gives in easily. (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 28) S/He commonly fears, distrusts, is tense around, and/or argues with some

  

authority figures. S/He either feels very anxious without clear instructions, or

compulsively resists them and acts independently.

  (http://sfhelp.org/01/f+t_selves.htm) 29) S/He fears saying "no," and setting appropriate limits with others; S/He feels reluctant to - and guilty about - asserting her/his own needs and ideas.