4 The family is the most important medium for the development of its members- it
is a potent force in promoting their health or in generating their illness. 5
The family group dwells in a particular geographic location, which may influence the family structure and function.
2.2.2.1 Parent’s Role
An individual in society plays many roles. Sargent as quoted by Evelyn R. Benson and Joan Q. McDevitt 1980:241 defines role as the patterns or types of social
behavior that seem to him to be approriate in a given situation, in view of the demands and expectations of those in his group. Certain common elements of role
emerge as follows: 1
role may be viewed as a set of behavior patterns; 2
these behavior patterns are learned through the process of socialization; 3
a role does not exist in isolation; 4
role implies statues or position; 5
statues or position is characteristized by a set of expected behaviors.
According to the definitions above, an individual acts out the role in a given situation and expects reciprocal action from the other persons, based on the demands
and expectations of a group. In a family, the roles of parents are very important. Parents are the first guides
of the children, the persons who always give prompts, encouragement, praise, and corrective feedback. Parents themselves consist of father and mother. According to
Buzzle.com, By the virtue of being a woman, a mother brings you into this
life. Thus, she creates you. She gives you the chance to live a life. She looks after you, every breathing moment of her life,
thus imbibing the meaning of love and care. Her unconditional love, transient to tough love, helps you understand your flaws
and strengths, thus, teaching you to understand your limits and your capabilities. A mother, is someone, with whom you make
your first bond.
Whereas, Father, he is someone, who is always around and knows how to
fix every problem. He may not be in most of the photographs taken at family picnics, because, he is the one taking the shot. He
provides the financial support and the emotional support too. The role play of a father, teaches diligence, responsibility,
dedication and dependability. Through his actions, he teaches the children the meaning of hard work and perseverance.
From the statemens above, I conclude that mother and father have their own roles in nurturing their children. Mother is the image of love and security, because the
mother is a person who gives a child the chance to live in life and the child is totally dependent on the mother biologically and emotionally. She looks after the child,
teaches how to be strong, helps to understand the child’s flaws and strength, and makes her child feels safe and secure. Whereas, father is the image of love and
strength, because every child looks up her or his father as a strongest man and guide who shows his child about diligence, responsibility, dedication and dependability.
Children are able to perceive love from each parent, and indeed they need love from both father and mother. Children are also able to perceive the gender based on the
differences between the mother and the father. Human looks to the father for love that comes in the form of protection and instruction and look to the mother for love that
comes in the form of emotional security. Barbara and Philip 1978:190-195 divide the parental role into three. These include parents as the sosialization agents in the
family group, parents as protectors and care givers, and parents as a model for imitation and identification.
1 Parents as Socialization Agents
Parsons 1955 suggested that mothers and fathers have distinct functions in a family group. The mother fulfills expressive functions. It means that she tries to maintain the
family’s morale and to insure open paths for communication among family members. The father’s functions are termed instrumental. Fathers bring resources to the family
from outside through work. Within the family, fathers express their competence by meeting task-related demands of the family members
2 Parents as Protector of Care
The mother sacrifices everything to provide comfort to her children. The father works hard to provide for the children’s physical, educational, psychological needs.
Children have right to be fed, clothed, and protected until they grow up to adulthood. Children also need to be loved, caressed, kissed, and hugged.
3 Parents as Model for Imitation
Freud 1953 suggests that one of primary functions of mothers and fathers is to serve as a model for identification for their like-sex children. Boys look to their father as a
first image of what it will mean to be adult. Similarly, girls look to their mothers. As
an outcome of identification, children internalize the values, attitudes, and aspirations of their parents as well as the overt mannerisms they can observe.
Nurtuing children is an obligation of each parents as a form of responsibility, because parents are persons who bring them into the world. They have several
important roles in the live of their children, especially as a source of affection, approval, and as identification figures and advisor. Thompson and Rudolph,
Henderson 2003:360 states according to Satir1972, the characteristics of nurturing family are as follows: a people are listened to by others and intersted in listening to
others, b people are not afraid to take risks because the family understands mistakes, c people’s bodies are graceful, and their facial expressions are relaxed, d people
look at one another not through one another floor, e the children are friendly and open, and the rest of the family treats them as people, f people feel comfortable
about touching one another and showing their affetion, g people show “love” by taking and listening with concern and by being straight and real with one another, h
members feel free to tell one another how they feel, i anything can be discussed: fear, anger, hurt, joys, and achievement, j members plan, but if something does not
work out, they can adjust, k human life and feelings are more important than anything else, l parents see themselves as leaders and are not as bosses. They
acknowledge their children about their hurt, anger, or disappointment as well as their joy. Their behaviour matches their teaching, m when nurturing parents need to
correct their children, they rely on listening, touching, understanding, and careful thing, being aware of children’s feelings and their natural wish to learn, n nurturing
parents understand that children can only learn when they are valued, so they do not respond in a way to make their child devalued.
2.2.2.2 Conflict in Family
