Unclear Idea Relationships Discussions

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1. Unclear Idea Relationships

The first coherence problem was unclear idea relationships in the students’ essays. Before we came to a further discussion on this problem, this research would review what idea relationships are in order to help readers follow the discussion in this part easily. In Chapter II, Arnaudet and Barret 1984: 28 believe that we need to “recognize the way in which pieces of information, which is the text’s supporting ideas, are related.” Deriving from their belief, this research could certainly assert that the idea relationships were closely related to the operational definition of coherence adopted in this research. It is a logical arrangement of ideas within a written work in which every stated idea is connected one another. The logical arrangement and connection of ideas would help readers understand as well as follow the ideas stated in a written work easily. Clearly, both the idea relationships Arnaudet Barret, 1984: 28 and the operational definition of coherence in this research emphasized the logical arrangement and connection of ideas in one’s written work. In that case, Oshima and Hogue 2006 believe that arranging sentences in some kinds of logical orders or those relationships significantly becomes one way to achieve coherence in a written work. Therefore, it would be essential if this research could also recognize the idea relationshi ps in the whole students’ essays. Based on the analysis, it was quite difficult to recognize the idea relationships in eighteen essays. Importantly, Brostoff 1981: 279 also writes an idea toward the similar problems. The idea states that the students encountered problems in their written work, which were: PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 94 to make logical relationships, as well as to put together a series of relationships in a consistent way, more specifically to form a well- structured sequence or hierarchy of relationships. Before coming to a further discussion on the issues, this research would like to discuss the essential points of both enumeration and exemplification relationships. In a written work, an enumeration idea relationship would suggest writers to take particular items that have same general ideas and subsequently arrange them one after the other Arnaudet Barret, 1984. Dealing with the essays to analyze, this research could specifically observe that the ninth essay showed the informal enumeration. In that case, when writers apply the informal enumeration, they simply write “a simple list of any number of some related items ” Arnaudet Barret, 1984: 46. Meanwhile, exemplification deals with providing examples in order to represent particular realizations concerning more broad ideas Arnaudet Barret, 1984, which aimed to help readers understand the ideas clearly. In that case, the term, examples, could be defined as “ideas which represent specific realizations of more general ideas ” Arnaudet Barret, 1984: 28. Overall, providing examples becomes the key point in this enumeration relationship. The brief explanation on the enumeration and exemplification idea relationships in this paragraph would significantly help readers follow the discussions in the subsequent paragraphs. The discussion on the idea relationships would start from the ninth essay that showed an enumeration idea relationship. In the ninth essay entitled “Outing Class Activities in Improving Children’s Vocabularies TTL 9 ,” the student would like to state her position that outing class activities are seen to be more effective to 95 improve children’s vocabularies rather than using activities done in the classroom TWP 9 . In order to support the position, the student wrote some paragraphs that could show the enumeration idea relationship in the essay. In that case, this research would show some paragraphs written in the ninth essay: First is applying some games in outing class’ activity ESY 9 -PNT 1 . Nowadays, a number of teachers have realized that games can be an important thing in both formal and informal education ESY 9 -ERT 1.1 . However, most teachers who teach in the classroom often ignore it ESY 9 - ERT 1.2 . Teachers just focus on the materials and do not pay attention whether students are getting bored during the learning activity or not ESY 9 -ERT 1.3 . In outing class, the learning activities can be added as many as possible through games ESY 9 -ERT 1.4 ... Second is reading picture books in outing class’ activity ESY 9 -PNT 2 . Teachers who teach in classroom absolutely ever use picture books in the learning activity ESY 9 -ERT 2.1 . The thing that makes difference is the situation while students reading the picture book ESY 9 -ERT 2.2 . When teachers do the activity of reading picture books in outing class, teachers can make students to get closer to them ESY 9 -ERT 2.3 ... Third is singing English songs in outing class’ activity ESY 9 -PNT 3 . In classroom, it is hard to find some teachers who use singing activity to improve students’ vocabularies ESY 9 -ERT 3.1 . The fact is teachers just ask students to remember all the new vocabularies through some books ESY 9 -ERT 3.2 ... In outing class, teachers can use singing activity which provides the opportunity for vocabulary practice ESY 9 -ERT 3.5 . The songs can be decided based on the topic that can provide some lists of vocabulary learning ESY 9 -ERT 3.6 . Considering the title, the thesis statement, and the paragraphs of the ninth essay, this research would also display the deconstruction sample done towards the ninth essay in Figure 4.2. It would become an illustration to support the explanation for this informal enumeration relationship. The Figure would also help readers see the overall picture of the idea relationship emerged in the ninth essay. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 96 Figure 4.2 The Text-Deconstruction Sample of the Ninth Essay Figure 4.2 helped us recognize the implementation of informal enumeration relationship, which was writing “a simple list of any number of some related items ” Arnaudet Barret, 1984: 46 in the ninth essay. Firstly, we could see that the use of first, second, and third in each topic sentence of the ninth essay signaled the enumeration relationship in the essay. Secondly, we could recognize 97 the pattern of ideas in the ninth essay. In that case, the student wrote some related ideas, talking about outing class activities in her arguments. The activities were the implementation of games ESY 9 -PNT 1 , reading picture books ESY 9 -PNT 2 , and singing English songs ESY 9 -PNT 3 . In addition, we could observe that the student arranged the similar ideas to support the position. Clearly, in each of the paragraphs, the student tried to explain every outing activity done both inside and outside the classroom. It was continued by the benefits of doing each stated outing activity written in the paragraphs. For instance, in Figure 4.2, we could see the student explained singing English songs both inside and outside the classroom ESY 9 -ERT 3.1-3.2 as well as benefits of singing English songs in outing class activity ESY 9 -ERT 3.5-3.6 as the supporting evidence to support the position. It was outing class activities that are seen to be more effective to improve children’s vocabularies rather than using activities done in the classroom TWP 9 . The informal enumeration relationship in the ninth essay could also be recognized because every stated argument, covering its topic sentence and supporting evidence, was related to and supported the thesis statement, stating that outing class activities are seen to be more effective to improve children’s vocabularies rather than using activities done in the classroom TWP 9 . Eventually, the student ended the essay by writing a coherent thesis restatement. It was “in conclusion, outing class is an effective way to improve children’s vocabularies RST 9 .” PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 98 In addition to the enumeration idea relationship, this research could also recognize another type of idea relationships, namely exemplification, in the seventeenth essay entitled “School Readiness to Face National Exam TTL 17 .” In this essay, the student tried to state a position that schools are ready to face a national exam TWP 17 . Then, the student wrote some paragraphs that clearly showed the exemplification idea relationship in the seventeenth essay. Some paragraphs written in the essay were shown below: In SD Negeri Dinoyo 4 Malang, they conduct religious events started in one month after the new semester begins ESY 17 -PNT 5 . For example, they hold istigonah on every Saturday at 3p.m since the first week until one week before the national exam ESY 17 -ERT 5.1 . They did not only do that, they did social service such as give religious meal to foster house ESY 17 - ERT 5.2 . Another religious event is dhula pray which they held every morning at 8 a.m ESY 17 -ERT 5.3 . In SMA Muhammadiyah Solo, they prepare to face the national exam since November ESY 17 -PNT 6 . Clinical therapy was specially arranged for students which their score was lowered ESY 17 -ERT 6.1 . Students and parents will be invited to sit down together to discuss the problems faced and the solutions that must be taken ESY 17 -ERT 6.2 . Different from SMA Muhammadiyah Solo, SMA Negeri 2 Solo arranges seminars to motivate their students ESY 17 -PNT 7 . The motivators were invited from several universities ESY 17 -ERT 7.1 . Just like Ajuandi said, “Students’ mental is also important to make them stay aware ESY 17 - ERT 7.2 . Considering some paragraphs above, the title, and the thesis statement written in the seventeenth essay, this research would display the deconstruction sample done toward the essay. It would become an illustration to support the explanation provided to this exemplification idea relationship as well as to help readers see the overall picture of the idea relationship emerged in the seventeenth essay. Figure 4.3 would display the deconstruction sample. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 99 Figure 4.3 The Text-Deconstruction Sample of the Seventeenth Essay Based on Figure 4.3, the exemplification idea relationship in the seventeenth essay was clearly recognized. First, the pattern of ideas in the seventeenth essay meets the pattern as stated by the exemplification idea relationship ’s definition, which deals with providing examples in order to represent particular realizations concerning more broad ideas Arnaudet Barret, 1984. Writers would also provide examples in their written work in order to clarify their abstract ideas, so that readers can understand the ideas clearly. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 100 Considering the definitions of exemplification stated by the theory, this research could find that writers start from a general idea in their written work. Then, they provide some examples to come to a less general idea. Eventually, they provide other examples to come to a specific idea. In that case, the student wrote some paragraphs, covering their topic sentences and supporting evidence, which were regarded as the exemplification idea relationship’s pattern. Clearly, each topic sentence as displayed in Figure 4.3 could become the examples that explained what SD Negeri Dinoyo 4 Malang ESY 17 -PNT 5 , SMA Muhammadiyah Solo ESY 17 -PNT 6 , and SMA Negeri 2 Solo ESY 17 -PNT 7 did in order to prepare their students to face the national exam. Then, each topic sentence, as examples, could clarify the student’s general idea stating that schools are ready to face the national exam TWP 17 . More specifically, the student wrote supporting evidence considered as further examples that provide further clarification to each written topic sentence. The supporting evidence could tell the specific realizations of what those three schools did in order to prepare their students to face the national exam. For instance, as the specific realization that SMA Muhammadiyah Solo has prepared to face the national exam since November ESY 17 -PNT 6 , the student wrote two supporting evidence, as further examples to clarify the topic sentence. The supporting evidence were that SMA Muhammadiyah Solo ESY 17 -PNT 6 arranged a clinical therapy to help the students who still have low scores ESY 17 - ERT 6.1 and would invite the students and their parents to discuss the national exam ESY 17 -ERT 6.2 . PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 101 Further, in Figure 4.3, we could also recognize the exemplification relationship in the seventeenth essay because of these further considerations. Firstly, every stated argument as the given example, covering its topic sentence and supporting evidence, was related to and supported the thesis statement, stating that schools are ready to face a national exam TWP 17 . Secondly, in the end of the essay, the student restated the thesis stat ement by writing that “with some facts that I already given, it is clear schools have their own preparations to face the national exam RST 17 .” Thirdly, the transition for example written in the supporting evidence ESY 17 -ERT 5.1 could also signal the exemplification relationship in the seventeenth essay. Considering the discussions on both the ninth and the seventeenth essays in the previous paragraphs, this research would like to state that both essays clearly met the three criteria in analyzing the idea relationships. More specifically, cohesive devices to signal a particular idea relationship and a clear pattern of ideas in the essays were clearly observed. Then, the students could successfully write relevant ideas in both essays, which covered relevant topic sentences, supporting evidence, and the thesis restatement to support their thesis statement written in their essays. Accordingly, this research could firmly say that in order to have a clear idea relationship in an essay, students should be able to meet those three criteria. Otherwise, it was quite difficult to state that a particular written work had a clear idea relationship. This case happened in some essays as displayed in Table 4.1. As an example, this research would show the fifteenth essay, entitled “Use of 102 Recycled Things for Effective Instruction TTL 15 .” In the essay, the student tried to convince readers that they could get many advantages when they use recycled materials as a media in an instructional process TWP 15 . In order to support the position, the student wrote these three topic sentences: The first one, recycled materials are inexpensive and simple ESY 15 - PNT 1 . The second advantages are recycled materials can help students and teacher become more creative ESY 15 -PNT 2 . The last advantage of recycled materials as alternative media is to help teachers to teach children how to live in eco-friendly style ESY 15 -PNT 3 . Considering the thesis statement TWP 15 and those three topic sentences ESY 15 -PNT 1-3 , we could observe the student wrote cohesive devices and a clear pattern of ideas to signal an enumeration idea relationship, especially the informal idea relationship. Concerning with the cohesive devices, we could also see that the use of such adjectives as first, second, and last, could signal the enumeration idea relationship. Then, dealing with the pattern of ideas, this research could state that the student wrote some related ideas, talking about the advantages of using recycled materials, in her topic sentences. Yet, in order to establish a clear idea relationship in the essay, the student could be possibly expected to write relevant ideas to support each topic sentence. However, this research found that the student wrote irrelevant supporting evidence in order to support the second topic sentence stating that recycled materials can help students and teacher become more creative ESY 15 -PNT 2 . Considering that a topic sentence clarifies the point that needs to be elaborated in the paragraph as well as provides a focus toward a supporting paragraph Langan, 2011, the student could be expected to clarify further about the recycled 103 materials. Yet, in one of supporting evidence in the essay, the student wrote a very different idea with the topic sentence stating that there are some ways to recycle scraps into something that is valuable ESY 15 - ERT 2.6 . Eventually, the discussion on the idea relationships could help the research state that each element in an essay significantly has a role to form a clear idea relationship as it was illustrated by Arnaudet and Barret 1984 in their explanations and examples of eight idea relationships. Therefore, in writing an analytical exposition essay, students should pay attention to the thesis statement, the argument, covering its topic sentence, and supporting evidence, and the thesis restatement in an essay. Besides, they should ensure whether those elements have been arranged logically and relevant to each other, so they could form a clear idea relationship in their essay. It is clear that this idea relationship would become one way to achieve coherence in a written work Oshima Hogue, 2006. In the subsequent parts, other coherence problems that are also closely related to the discussion in this part and that could affect the idea relationships problems encountered by the students would be discussed.

2. Irrelevant Topic Sentences