Her [Gauris] in-laws had expected Subhash and Udayan to grow old in the house they had built for them. They had wanted Subhash to return to
Tollygunge and marry someone else. Udayan had given his life for the future, expecting the society itself to change. Gauri had expected to stay
married to him, not for less than two years but always. In Rhode Island, Subhash was expecting him Gauri and Bela. For Gauri to be a mother to
Bela, and to remain a wife to him Lahiri, 2013: 152
Certain irrational fears haunted Gauri before and after the birth of Bela, her child. She felt Bela was her child and Udayans, and Subhash for his
helpfulness was simply playing a part. She knew that part of her job as a wife of Subhash is to have sex with him; Subhash tried to convince her that Bela needed a
friendsiblings. On the contrary, Gauri did not want to be a mother for a second time; because she could not bear the idea of having the second children if she was
not good in being a good mother for her first child. She did want to feel guilty for the second time. Gauri prevented it by using contraception discreetly. It can be
seen from the quotation below. Though Subhash was right from his own point of view, she would never
risk no such compromises; that though she had become a wife a second time, becoming a mother again was the one thing in her life she was
determined to prevent from happening. Lahiri, 2013:161
It shows that Gauri is not comfortable of being a mother and already saw Bela as a burden for her. The focus on mother-child interaction and associated
notions that motherhood as the most vital and demanding role in woman’s life is reflected on psychological research on the impact of multiple roles Hoffman,
1979. Motherhood is a social construction of impossible perfection that is internalized by all mothers. Gauri felt guilty for not keeping up with the image of
a perfect mother. She is one of those mothers who were aware that she cannot be a PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
perfect mother. Gauri often left Bela alone leaving her alone at home while she took a walk alone. Quoted from Lahiri:
The five minutes doubled to ten, sometime a bit more. It turned into a dare, a puzzle to solve, to keep herself sharp. Disoriented by the sense of
freedom, devouring the sensation as a beggar devours food. Sometime she really did get the mail, sat on a bench on campus and sorted through it. Or
she went over to the student union to get a copy of the campus paper. Then back inside, rushing up the flight of stairs. She unlocked the door, where
Bela would be, just as she’d left her. Never suspecting, never asking where she’d been Lahiri, 2013: 174- 175.
Gauri had never recognized the joy in sacrifice that motherhood always offered. One day, when Subhash came home early, he found Bela was alone at
home. He felt furious to her. He felt that Gauri is responsible to accompany Bela at home, not to leave her alone at home. Subhash quoted his mother and said “My
mother was right. You dont deserve to be a parent. The privilege was wasted on you.” Lahiri, 2013: 175.
When Subhash remembered what his mother said to him. “Shes Udayans wife, shell never love you Lahiri, 2013: 160 and that Shes too withdrawn, too
aloof to be a mother Lahiri, 2013: 114, it shows that this act is the consequence of social pressure. Subhash and Bijoli, Gauri’s mother in law, justified the act of
abandoning Bela and chose to be alone is the proof that Gauri is not good and she cannot nurture her daughter in a “right circumstances”, which means that there is
an inadequacy in the society. Because of the self-sacrificing ideal, mothers who are perceived as putting themselves first and whose behavior conflicts with what
is considered appropriate for motherhood are labelled as selfish, or even evil Coward, 1997. This signifies that Gauri was surrounded with social pressure,
pressures from her mother in law, her second husband and from her daughter, PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
Bela which will urge the feeling of guilt and inadequacy. 3.
Labeling Mother as a Deviant
Suzan Lewis said that that mothers need support – physical and material, and also emotional – to help them manage the work of mothering and come to
terms with the complex mixture of emotions that motherhood involves Lewis, 1991. Stereotypes of mothers as naturally caring, nurturing, self-sacrificing and
wise, and the denial that they may feel any ambivalence about their role, stem from the idealization of motherhood. People tend to label mother as a deviant and
a sacred role for woman, but in exchange, there is no guarantee for that ‘deviant and sacred’ role Lewis, 1991. There is no certain support or help for woman in
that role. Women are expected to care, nurture and have a wise and self- sacrificing attitude naturally. In Gauri’s case, she felt unsupported and frustrated
with her situation. Quoted from The Lowland: In her moments of distraction, she was angry at Udayan for dying when
he might have lived. For bringing her happiness, and then taking it away. For believing in sacrifice, only to be selfish in the end Lahiri, 2013: 164
The stereotype of the perfect mother is impossible to live up to. She felt lonely and unsupported while people her in laws and Subhash expected a lot of
thing to her. She felt that she was failing at something every other woman on earth did without trying. That should not have proved a struggle Lahiri, 2013:164.
The more mothers exhibit socially unacceptable or stigmatized behavior, the more they challenge the myth of maternal superhuman perfection,
which explains resistance to the idea that substance-abusing women can also be good mothers. Substance-abusing mothers, who may also be lone
parents or belong to other stigmatized groups, are only to ware that they do not live up to the ideal of the perfect mother Taylor, 1993.
Gauri is like countless mothers, she must struggle to cope with the feelings of guilt and inadequacy that myths of perfect motherhood generate. It is difficult
to be a confident mother in these circumstances.
C. Gauri’s Changing Perspective to Redefine the Concept of Motherhood
As explained previously, this thesis will try to reveal that a woman should not be pushed to believe in the centrality of motherhood concept, woman has to
find their own self-fulfillment and respected as an autonomous individual, this fact can be linked to a character named Gauri based on a novel by an Indian writer
named Jhumpa Lahiri, from her novel The Lowland in 2013. Therefore, I believe that it has the potential to evoke the concept of Indian traditional motherhood, to
challenge and expand the common definition of motherhood in Indian society.
The Postcolonial Feminist theory by Spivak is used to see the spirit of Postcolonial Feminism reflected in Gauri’s characteristics on how she reacted and
resisted towards her position in society. Those theories contribute the diverse representations of subaltern women in the ‘Third World’ who—despite their
oppressed and marginalized status display the struggle to redefine the concept of motherhood. Therefore, we can see how this novel brings the spirit of redefinition
of motherhood. Spivak said, “If, in the contest of colonial production, the subaltern has no
history and cannot speak, the subaltern as female is even more deeply in shadow” Spivak, 1988: 203. No one is aware of the daily struggles they face; subaltern
women are ghosts in society. Gauri’s position shows that she is the oppressed and marginalized by the society. Gauri’s role had changed so many times in the past:
From wife to widow, from sister-in-law to wife, from mother to childless woman... She had married Subhash, she had abandoned Bela. She had
generated alternative versions of herself, she had insisted at brutal cost on these conversions. Layering her life only to strip it bare, only to be alone
in the end. Lahiri, 2013: 240.
The quotation shows that Gauri did not have any chance in the past to define herself. In her society a patriarchal society, Gauri is vulnerable to
subalternity in terms of property, marriage, and divorce laws because, as we shall see, there are no legal guidelines to protect her.
After studying these notions, in this part of the study Gauri’s attitude on redefining the concept of motherhood is expressed in her characteristics along
with the concept of Indian motherhood that she was explored. To start with, Gauri’s attitude and her changing perspective to oppose the concept of
motherhood are explained in the following section.
1. Opposition to the Concept of Motherhood
As what has been explained earlier, Gauri’s characteristics can describe the behavior or the attitude of the society. It can be seen from Gauri’s strong view on
her own life. As what Spivak said about Subaltern Women, they do not have proper representations for them, and therefore, are not able to voice their opinions
or share their stories Spivak, 1988: 203 Below is the elaboration of the attitude to challenge the concept of
motherhood in the Indian Traditional Feminine Roles. I will identify the attitude to oppose the concept of motherhood as constructed in Indian society by
analyzing the thoughts and attitudes of people of both gender male and female, using the contrast theories of motherhood from Suzan Lewis.
a. The Rejection to Accept the Idea of Motherhood
As stated before, Suzan Lewis in her journal about the concept of Motherhood quoted: Mother is a primary child-rearing role and the more marginal
role of fathers, except in terms of economic provision, and are frequently taken for granted as natural and right, despite the lack of evidence that children need
exclusive maternal care Tizard, 1991. Society tells women how mothers are expected to feel, think and act.
Society’s idealism mold the way of thinking that certain ideas can be applied to all women, and if someone did not follow the idea, it can be considered
as an act of disobedience and recklessness. In Udayan’s funeral, Gauri was given a white sari to wear in place of coloured ones, so that she resembled the other
widows who were three times her age in the family. But in her room, Gauri prefer to be alone and stripped down her sari because she felt estranged to that custom.
Lahiri, 2013: 111. Women, especially mothers are expected to feel, think and act properly. If
a woman did not follow that ideal expectation, society will think that this woman is a failure. Gauri was seen as a failure because she did not follow society’s ideal.
She rejected the idea of good motherhood in her life. Another proof that Gauri is not comfortable with her role as a mother can be seen in the quotation below.
As the years passed Gauri is found to be withdrawing little by little from her role as a mother, contrary to the position she had naturally asserted
earlier stating, Im her mother” Lahiri, 2013:146 PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
She knew that in less than nine months a baby would come. But its life had already been started, its heart already beating, represented by a separate line
creeping forward. Gauri described the baby inside her as an alien, she felt heavy and burdensome to carry the baby inside her, to see a fetus that grew inside her is
the rejection of motherhood; Gauri was disturbed by the presence of the fetus inside her. Especially after Udayan’s death, she felt that she did not have any
support. She saw Udayans life, no longer accompanying her own as shed assumed
it would, but ceasing in October 1971. This formed a grave in her minds eye. She wished the days and months ahead of her would end. And yet
somehow she was breathing. Just as time stood still but was also passing, some other part of her body that she was unaware of was now drawing
oxygen, forcing her to stay alive. Lahiri, 2013:111
That quotation shows that she kept trying to be a good mother and believed that motherhood can come naturally inside her, even though she tried so
hard, finally she felt that motherhood was no for her and did not grow in her naturally. . Gauri rejected the idea of motherhood after the years passed. Gauri is
found to be withdrawing little by little from her role as a mother, contrary to the position she had naturally asserted earlier stating, Im her mother” Lahiri,
2013:146
b. The Rejection towards Social Pressures
Lewis stated that the focus on mother–child interaction and associated notions that motherhood is the most vital and demanding role in a woman’s life is
reflected in psychological research on the impact of multiple roles Lewis, 1991. There is gap between mothers’ self-perceptions and their internalized ideals of the
perfect mother. Mothers are expected to raise children in the ‘right circumstances’ PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
Her [Gauris] in-laws had expected Subhash and Udayan to grow old in the house they had built for them. They had wanted Subhash to return to
Tollygunge and marry someone else. Udayan had given his life for the future, expecting the society itself to change. Gauri had expected to stay
married to him, not for less than two years but always. In Rhode Island, Subhash was expecting him Gauri and Bela. For Gauri to be a mother to
Bela, and to remain a wife to him Lahiri, 2013: 152
The second and most unavoidable fact was that she was carrying Udayans child. She was beset by many irrational fears of the child forming within her. Her
life had always been stretched to the extremities by choice or circumstances. While her elder sisters led a normal life with her parents, she was brought up in
her grandparents house and she felt a sense of autonomy. Later, she had felt audacious eloping with Udayan, flaunting conventions. With Udayans death, she
felt, the ligaments that had held her life together had perished .She decided with her impulsive and calculated decision to be Subhashs wife, to flee to America
with him, and with that action also to flee from Tollygunge, to forget everything her life had been, she felt even more extreme.
When Udayan was killed, Subhashs mother had lashed out that Udayan would not have been killed had he married another sort of girl Lahiri, 2013:
124.In her second marriage to Subhash, Gauri considers it most unchaste because she was expected to honour Udayans memory and his martyrdom.
She preferred to stay out from the Mitra’s house. Besides, she did not want a girl in her family, to become her daughter-in-law twice over Lahiri, 2013:
186. Bijoli Mitra warned Gauri that she will not accept her marriage to Subhash, but Gauri still did it. She had married to Subhash as a means of staying connected
to Udayan. In Rhode Island, she was not receptive to Subhash either; she PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
