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Further studies, however, have explained that for most women, the attention for interpersonal relationship outweighs individual achievement. The
studies by Bernard 1972 and Gove 1972 for example, show that even in modern marriage women are inevitably disappointed and suffer depression or
physical illness because of lack of interpersonal relationship in it Corsini, ed., 1994, p. 604.
Marriage is a valuable aspect for most women. It is a place where they could grow and cultivate an interpersonal relationship. To analyse the sexual
experience and sexual needs of women in marriage and before marriage, which affects the satisfaction in interpersonal relationship, and might cause a divorce, it
is important to explore the maturity of a woman and her nature that have great shares in her behaving toward her marriage.
1. Women in Adulthood
One of the phases of experience in human life is adulthood. The adulthood development or maturity in one’s life cannot be determined by age.
Otherwise, the maturity develops by the experiences in overcoming or facing many obstacles of life because from those experiences women might take
valuable lessons that could enrich one’s mental capability Kartini Kartono, 1977, p. 170.
Kartini Kartono clarifies that maturity is “satu pertanggungan jawab penuh terhadap diri sendiri dan atas pembentukan diri sendiri” Kartini Kartono, 1977, p.
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175. Therein, it means a mature woman should have known exactly what to do in her life so that she would not abandon her life and herself. In other words, she
must have had principles or a pattern of life. Understanding her own condition, a mature woman would know what to
be improved, maintained or achieved and avoided. In consequence, she must strive toward a certain ideal built from such condition.
The important keys in maturity are regularity, will and conscience Kartini Kartono, 1977, p. 176. Regularity would take a woman systematically only to
the destination that has been decided or under adopted ideal. This is what makes a woman take steps earnestly and bravely face any possible risk. Will has a share in
driving and piloting every effort and inclination of action toward certain values required for realizing the ideal. Meanwhile, conscience takes control in mind and
actions under some adhered norms ibid. p. 177. Such development in maturity construct a readiness for a mature woman to
a marriage because by such development she knows very well about herself, what she wants in a marriage, and how to get such marriage, and how to prepare for any
risk in the marriage. Marriage is not simple matter that every people must be mature and plan it securely.
2. The Nature of Woman
It is believed that the nature of woman uniquely differs from man’s because of some different functions in their body and because of the assignment
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charged by laws of culture to each sex specifying masculine and feminine behaviours. Accordingly, women have their own unique view and ways for
coping with the tasks in their lives such as love and marriage. Some features in women’s nature in accordance with this research are:
- Women are outward-minded, oriented to other subject, they always try to
collect other’s attention especially men. -
Women are social creatures. They care about other’s life and endurance and are likely to open themselves to others.
- They are emotional. This state makes them easily become uneasy,
discouraged, perplexed, annoyed, frightened and anxious as well. -
However, whenever peril and distress threaten their beloved persons they could become tough and resolute women.
- Women are likely to protect and to secure, to look after and to preserve, with
their sense of motherhood and tenderness. -
They often considered men as their children who need their guidance along with their maternal drive; they could give up their lives totally.
- Women are so spontaneous that they turn out to be more enthusiastic to
defend their standpoints. Kartini Kartono, 1977, p. 180 Women do not open themselves only to care others, but they also open
themselves to flow out the self, the personality, for others’s acknowledge and for gaining their attentions. In addition, women are social for they need to interact
with others. These facts explain the scheme of their searching for satisfying interpersonal relationship.
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More to the point, women seem weak and dependent, but they are willing to sacrifice and could make themselves determined when their beloved or close-
related persons are in troubles. Thus, in a marriage, a woman often neglects herself and her need for others’ interest and the positive is that it can be the key to
keeping a marriage intact.
D. SEX
