Participant’s Background Third Participant Novia
moral and mental abuse. He had lied to Anisa and her family by giving impression as a very good Moslem guy as the first time she met and during the
„Ta‟aruf‟ time –Islamic introduction and engagement before getting married. Then he changed to be totally evil and
oppressed Anisa physically every time he got mad. “The first time I see the husband while Ta‟aruf is so cool and seems like a good
Moslem man. And he also had already taken second degree in Middle East. But then after they were married, the husband is totally different. In Islam we believe that lie is
a hypocrite. So we can say, violence is not only how the husband treated Anisa, but also how the first impression, this is hypocrite, and I think hypocrite is such violence,
a mental abuse.” However, she has her own perception about the limitation of beating to be called as
violence or not. She explained that i f the wives obey their husbands‟ Amanah or advice, the
husbands are not allowed to do any kind of physical abuse towards the wives. The other way around, she believes that if only the wives don
‟t follow the husbands‟ Amanah and disobey their husbands as Imam, the husbands are allowed to beat the wives in order to warn them to
be obedient to their Imam. “It depends on the context. For example, about Sholat. There‟s a preaching that the
aim is that the husband guide the wife to do Sholat. If the wife has been warned once, twice, still the wife does not do the Amanah, for the third time, the husband may beat
the wife. And it is stated in Al- Qur‟an. But not as harsh as the movie shows or like
what happened in the Nabi era .”
Her interesting comment is that what is portrayed in the movie might not really happen in Javanese Moslem family context, but more likely happened in the Nabi
‟s Prophet era. Here, she stated that actually what is said in Al-Quran is based on life in the Nabi
‟s era, which happened in Arab, Middle East. With this Middle East culture, what might be applied
now in Indonesia especially in Javanese culture is definitely different. She makes it clearer with her further explanation about its differences.
“The husband also may beat the wife with „sapu ijuk‟ broom, but it was in Nabi era. Maybe now it is not acceptable, in Indonesia though Moslem is majority here, but
Indonesia has other religion that we can adapt.” Moreover, what makes her argument interesting is that she gave an example of her
own life experience, from her childhood memory, as a Moslem girl in her family. She explained further that her father, who always sticks to Al-
Quran and Islam‟s values strongly, did such physical violence if she did not obey her father to do Sholat. When she refused or
said „wait‟ every time asked to Sholat, the father would beat her with. Though, she believes that it cannot be called as violence because its aim is just as warning to do Amanah from the
Imam of the family. “....in the real life, some ways it happen like about Sholat, it really happen. In my
family, when I was a child...my father still do violence like asking me whether I had done Sholat or not yet. But at that time...I
like answering „wait, wait, wait‟. And then my father would beat me with something
.” Discussing about sexual abuse in the movie, Novia expressed her uncomfortable
feeling to the scene where Anisa was raped by Samsudin. She argued that Samsudin as a husband was not supposed to do that to his own wife. Believing that in Islam women must be
treated well, she thinks that rape is n‟t an appropriate way of treating a wife in Islam. When
the woman refused the husband to have sex, the man must not force the wife. It‟s different
with her argument about physical violence which is there exists a rule in Al-Quran that a husband may hit his wife f
or the wife‟s disobedience which she can accept, but regarding issue of sexual abuse, she couldn‟t tolerate it at all. She totally disagrees with any sexual
abuse moreover if it‟s done in a Moslem marital relationship.
“That‟s not a proper way to treat his wife. I think in making love things, should be based on love, means both the man and the woman have willing to do so.
..”
Furthermore, she believes that sexual abuse shown in the movie doesn‟t happen in the
society. She used the word „exaggerating‟ again to express her disagreement toward the
portrayal of Moslem couple ‟s relationship in the movie. She believes that the rape done by a
Moslem husband to his own wife only happened in the movie, not in the real life. “... What happen in the movie, what Samsudin did toward Anisa is totally
exaggerating. I have never witnessed Moslem Java people or couple do such thing like that, so harsh.”
Her perspective about sexual abuse is different to what ‟s stated in Al-Quran that a
wife should serve her husband by having sexual relationship which is a must. Overall, she believes that Moslem women may refuse to have sexual relationship only if
there‟s no love in the marriage.
3.4.Women Oppression and Gender Inequality in Islam
Discussing about women oppression in Islam, she personally confirmed that somehow women oppression really happens in Javanese Moslem society. Moreover, she said that the
phenomenon of Moslem women oppression still happens in her own society in which all people there are Moslems. Though she explained that actually Moslem women should be
treated well, her own experience shows that oppression toward Moslem women still happen in real life. She explained further about one of her experience when she didn
‟t to wear her Hijab
Islam‟s headscarf, people would respond negatively. Even people in her village would directly ask her why she did
n‟t wear her Hijab at the moment. It made her feel uncomfortable and oppressed.
“... If I do not wear my Hijab, for example when I have to go to „warung‟ just to buy noodle or egg, my neighbor will ask why I don‟t wear my Hijab...but they say that we
have to wear our Hijab everywhere. It‟s just not practice for me, and doesn‟t really have relation with my faith...”
She also explained about another perception in her village which happened in Ramadhan or fasting month. People would demand all Moslems to do Sholat Tarawih which
is actually Sunah or optional. In their perspective, for those who do n‟t follow such rule of
wearing Hijab and doing Sholat Tarawih would be stamped as bad Moslems especially if they are Moslem women. She expressed that even these things can be included as mental
abuse toward Moslem women. Her explanation implicitly confirms that in her own society, there‟s still oppression toward Moslem women.
“...Actually Tarawih is Sunah or optional. But in my neighborhood, it is a must. So there would be a bad image if we do not go to mosque. Though they‟re just talking
about it, I think it is included a mental abuse.”
Through her statements above, she implies that she disagrees with such oppression toward Moslem women not only in their physical appearance but also in their actions.
Such oppression and violence toward women in Islam that she can see in her society and shown in the movie makes her think that women and men should have equality in Islam.
Yet, she still admits and believes that men are the leader of family. Equality that she means here is not always about the same position, but more on the involvement like supporting or
assisting the husband. “Even though the man is the leader, but the leader needs asisstance. Assistant can be
the leader if the leader has less power...”
The word assistance here actually represents gender inequality in Islam. „Assistance‟
here refers to a position where the other one is lower and less influencing in the family, just as a complement. What makes her opinion interesting is that in expecting the equality of men
and women in Islam, she still thinks that women should have a secondary position.
“... Like for example, my father... when he‟s sick, my mother will take the power like she would do those things. That‟s why I said that women and men should be equal in
Islam.”
Her overall argument is that there should be more consideration to women‟s involvement in the family, but still the rule of men as leader of family cannot be refused or even changed. It‟s
just the way how Islam people believe in their religion and how it is stated in the Al-Quran that men as Imam or leader of family is a must.
Moreover, she believes that men‟s power in Islam family as leaders give them
„chance‟ to do violence toward women. Yet, she doesn‟t think that way in the real life context because nowadays not only men who do violence toward women, the other way around now
there are also women who violate their husbands. She emphasized that if only the husband gives wrong Amanah including doing violence, the wives may rebel.
“In the movie, I can say yes. But in real life, even though the men have power but nowadays, women have equal power. You know, now, not only violence against
women, but there‟s also violence done by women toward men. So they actually have same position...
But there‟s a Haddist in Al-Qur‟an, that says if the Amanah from your husband is true, it‟s no problem. But then when it‟s wrong, you may rebel.”
In conclusion, Novia believes that there should be equality between men and women. Yet, she understands that it cannot happen like a hundred percent equal
in Islam since there‟s a rule of men as leader or Imam of family. Overall, looking at the issue of violence against
Moslem women, she thinks that it is caused by men‟s misinterpretation about Imam and
men‟s wrong Amanah.