Second Participant Dian T1 112009130 Full text
2.3.Physical and Sexual Violence
Responding to the physical abuse in the movie, she argues that the physical abuse is not the impact of the culture, but it has something to do with his mentality like mental
disorder. Javanese Islam culture is not a factor why this character did physical violence toward Anisa
because it‟s comparable with another male character that lives in the same cultural background in this movie: Khudori
– a good guy whose moral is totally different with Samsudin.
“It‟s not about the culture, it‟s not about the Moslem itself, but there‟s so
mething wrong with the mentality of this man.”
Personally, she argues that physical abuse should be banned in Moslem family because she thinks women have right to be treated fairly.
“Women should be praised and treated well.”
On the other hand, she explained that there‟s an Islam‟s rule that allows Imam or
Moslem husband may menyentil flicked his wife if only the wife does n‟t obey him at all and
always does bad things. Based on her opinion, it‟s not violence since it‟s just a warning to
remind a wife to be a good Moslem wife. Furthermore, she gave an example of a Moslem couple who experienced physical abuse in her society.
“...some month or a year ago... there‟s someone... they worked in a place close to my house. The husband sometimes does violence to his wife.... This thing is like portrayal
that such cases still happen.”
By witnessing such real example of Javanese Moslem family who still experienced physical violence in, she confirms that what the movie portrays somehow happens too in real life.
Surprisingly, she claimed that it also happened to herself actually. Though she did n‟t
directly experience physical abuse, she felt oppressed by mental abuse that was unconsciously done by her father. She emphasized that her life was lack of freedom as a
Moslem woman since her father was authoritarian. Her facial expression while recalling this memory of being mentally abused shows her sadness. She almost tried to stop so many times
while telling her experience. “I can decide what I want. But the decision is like should be, not only the decision....
but kinda like when my father said something like „that‟s wrong‟. I should not say „No, I‟m not like that. When I say „No, I‟m not like that‟, he would say, „No, you‟re
like that‟ and he said I will be „kualat‟ if I say something like that. So I still cannot
have what I call as freedom.”
She personally feels oppressed by men‟s authority in her family that she cannot refuse at all.
Her personal experience makes it sense that she totally disagrees with violence against women in Islam family.
Though her previous opinion said that Moslem husbands have right to beat their wives for not obeying them, she disagrees with sexual abuse in the movie at all. What Dian cannot
accept in the movie is that Anisa was totally hurt and harmed as a Moslem and Javanese woman.
It even breaks and humiliates women‟s identity and dignity as human beings. “I absolutely disagree with it sexual abuse.” It‟s understandable that Dian didn‟t give too
many responses since it would be so much weird for a Moslem woman who wears hijab to talk about such vulgar topic.
2.4.Women Oppression and Gender Inequality in Islam
What makes her response about gender equality interesting is that before giving opinion, she firstly stated that she is a feminist
–even before watching this movie. She believes that men and women should be equal. She claimed that the issue of violence in this
movie made her more demanding the equality between men and women in Islam. With her assertive intonation, she confirmed that this movie made her more and more believing in
gender equality as a feminist.
“Well, before I watched the movie, I‟m a feminist. I want equality between men and women. So after watching the movie, it makes me become more and more demand to
have the equality between men and women.” On the other hand, she explained that Islam actually praises women too as it‟s stated
in Al-Quran about Prophet Mohammad. She tended to emphasize that in Islam, women are praised in the family as the ones who should be respected the most. Women are not ignored at
all. Even they are placed three times before men to be more respected. “Islam even taught people to respect women. Like when, this is a Haddist when
Prophet Mohammad is asked, who should be praised, then he would say, number one is mother, number two is mother, number three is mother, then number four is
father.” Her interesting opinion implicitly states that gender equality between Moslem men
and women in Islam family is like impossible to happen. It implies her confusion toward the contradiction between her expectation of having gender equality in Islam and the reality of
Moslem Javanese society with its rule. It seemed so complicated for her to decide which rule she agrees and disagrees with.
Moreover, she believes that women have contribution in making a man to be a good leader.
“But, there‟s a saying that behind a success man, there‟s his mother and his wife. So I think that the leader can be a man, but behind him, there are still two women. So what make
him a good leader are two women here. So the two women here take a big part to make a man to be a good leader.” Though it sounds neutral, in this perspective women are still
considered as lower than men. In her statement, women are just put behind men – leaders.
Women are just complements who support men from the back. As her conclusion, the rule of men as leader of family in Islam may and may not have
any relation with the phenomenon of violence against Moslem women that happened in the
movie and the society. She emphasized men‟s morality and mentality affects the most in doing violence either physical or sexual one. She believes that men misuse their position to
oppress women and „use‟ their authority to do violence. “...may and may not be related. If it‟s related, it‟s because the mental of the man is
the one that‟s wrong. He malfunctions his position as a leader, oppressed the woman. But if there‟s no relation, like because probably not all leader or men do the violence.
But when there‟s a relation, because they think that they are higher than women. They don‟t think that they should be in equal with women.”
If the rule is related to the happening of violence against women, it‟s not the rule itself that‟s
wrong, b ut Moslem men who „misuse‟ the rule to violate their wives. Overall, she thinks that
there are still Moslem women who are oppressed by men who use the power as leaders to violate women either mentally, physically, or sexually.