TEXTUAL ANALYSIS CRIME and PUNISHMENT BA
TEXTUAL ANALYSIS:
CRIME & PUNISHMENT (BALASAN DOSA)
IZZATI ROZMAN
HILMI CHE AHAMAD
AMIRUL AKMAL YUSRE
SUFIAN SUHAIMI
University of Sultan Zainal Abidin, Malaysia
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Title
Page
Table of Contents
i
1.0)
INTRODUCTION……………………………………………………………………………
……...……1
1.1) Brief background on researched novel
1.1.1. Source text
1.1.2. Target text
1.2) Synopsis of the Novel
1.3) Reasons it’s translated
2.0)
TEXTUAL ANALYSIS………………………………………………….
…………………………...……8
2.1) Techniques & Procedures used in Translation
2.2) Explanation on the selected Procedures used in Text Translation
2.2.1. Direct Procedures
2.2.1.1.
Borrowing
2.2.1.2.
Calque
2.2.1.3.
Literal translation
2.2.2. Oblique Procedures
2.2.2.1.
Modulation
2.2.2.2.
Adaptation
2.2.2.3.
Equivalence
2.2.2.4.
Transposition
2.3) Discussion on the selected 3 procedures with excerpt from the
Target text
2.3.1. Modulation
2.3.2. Adaptation
2.3.3. Transposition
2.3.4. Others
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3.0)
REVIEW AND
CONCLUSION…………………………………………………………………...…20
3.1) Overall assessment of the translation
3.2) Justified opinion on the quality of the translation
3.3) Conclusion
4.0)
LIST OF REFERENCES………………………………………………………….
………………...…25
5.0) APPENDIX…………………………………………………….
……………………………………...….26
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1.0)
INTRODUCTION
1.1)
Brief Background on the Researched Novel
Our textual analysis for this group project is thoroughly based on the classic literature piece that
is originally written by Russian author in 1917[ CITATION Fyo171 \l 1033 ]. The authenticity
presented in the writing besides the availability of the translated version in Malay language
served as the main catalyst for us in analyzing the translated text further in term of the
procedures used by the translator in translating the source text[ CITATION Mok941 \l 1033 ].
Below is the background of the source and translated materials used in our textual analysis.
1.1.1)
Source text
Title:
Translator:
Year:
Publisher:
City:
1.1.2)
Target text
Title:
Translator:
Year:
Publisher:
City:
1.2)
Crime and Punishment
Fyodor Mikhail Dostoyevsky
1917
Collier & Son
New York
Balasan Dosa
Mokhtar Ahmad
1994
Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka
Kuala Lumpur
Synopsis of the Novel
The entire novel was written in the English Language neatly organized into 6 major Parts
including 1 Epilogue section together with 41 Chapters. In contrast, there are several minor
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changes in the translated version in which all the content were reshuffled into the different
organization and this will be discussed further in the Review and Conclusion section.
The major synopsis of this great novel revolved around the mental anguish and dilemmas
of deprived man who unconsciously formulates a deadly plan in murdering an old lady because
of the poverty. Rodion Raskolnikov is a former student live in the St. Petersburg who has a
conflict within himself either to kill or being killed by the poverty itself. He planned to kill an
elderly corrupt, unpleasant pawnbroker and money lender named Alyona Ivanovna, arguing that
he can perform good deeds using the woman’s money to counterbalance the crime afterwards.
By committing the murder, Rascolnikov confirmed his own hypothesis that man in any intricate
situation are capable of doing a crime despite of the fears because they even has a right to do the
deeds and evidently based the judgment of his action upon the philosophy commended by
Napoleon Bonaparte in which “murder is permissible in pursuit of a higher purpose”. In this
novel, Raskolnikocv refused all the help from his friend and acquainted himself with a drunker,
Semyon Zakharovich Marmeladov in devising the strategy to kill the old lady. Upon serious
reflection, he finally murders the women with an axe together with her half-sister, Lizaveta who
happen to witness the incident. Manage to hide the crime for a while, he flees unseen and
undetected but due to the obsessive worries over the murder, he falls into the serious mental
illness coupled by the feverish state. Some unfortunate circumstances came by afterwards in a
series of unlucky affairs and he was sentenced to eight years of penal servitude in Siberia.
Despite of the struggles he faced upon the crimes committed before, under Sonya’s loving
influence he was able to readopt and regenerate back his moral and self-worth after some time.
His sister married and live happily while his mother unable to cope with the situation fall sick
and dies, leaving Raskolnikov a deeper grief upon the crime he commit.
Synopsis of Part 1- Chapter 1, 2 & 3
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Due to time constraint, we are able to select only the first three chapters to be included in
our textual analysis task. In this chapter, we were introduced to the main protagonist of this novel
which is Raskolnikov. Set in the St.Petersburg, Russia in the mid 1860s, the author describe the
appearance and physical attributes of the young man in which illustrated as the young, good
looking man but dressed shabbily in rags. He lived in a tacky little room and ready to go to the
pawnbroker’s house, Alyona Ivanovna. She is indeed a mean old lady but he can’t complain
much because she is the resources to get himself a ruble or kopeck of money every time he went
there pawning some material since years back. The lady lives with her mentally challenged sister
who is very sweet and kind person in an apartment down the street nearby his flat. Along the
walk, he continuously fighting with his inner self either to commit the murder or not because he
is not so sure whether he is capable of doing it or not despite of the fact that he really should go
and will go through the crime sooner or later. His visit to the old lady house was being attend
with full suspicion and he thoroughly inspect the house which keep the lady in unease situation.
Later he pawns his father’s watch which grants him only a ruble and makes him finally decide
his mind to kill the unscrupulous lady. The next day he met with Marmalov, a drunken man
whose fate has been crossed by the poverty. From there, two of the man start to devise their
strategy to murder the lady but unfortunately Marmalov involved in the accident later in the
following days after being trampled by the horse carriage.
1.3) Reasons the Novel was Translated
The core reason why the novel was being translated into many other languages is
significantly grounded on the fact that the embodiment of the literature masterpiece was
thoroughly embraced deep inside the work itself. Due to the positive reception upon issued on
1866, the novel has been a literary sensation, met with public success. This novel served as a
product of his environment and the main theme illustrated the major social issue faced by the
Russian in the 80s. Crime and Punishment also become among the couple of films being adapted
into the films approximately 25 times in various languages including Russia, Japanese, Finnish
and many more make it as one of the most astoundingly compelling and petrifying books in all
literature. In Malaysia, this novel has been chosen as one of the international creative
masterpiece to be translated into the Malay language because of the positive reception it garnered
across the globe plus the fact that the language used vividly portrayed the real phenomenon and
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the condition faced by the Russian in the early 80s. This translated version of the novel may
served as a global historical fiction to be included further inside the Malaysia’s canon literature
as well as the reading material for those who are interested in the collection of the literature
under the gloomy melancholic version.
2.0) TEXTUAL ANALYSIS
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2.1) Techniques & Procedures Used in Translating the Documents
In translating the document from the source language into the target language, there are several
procedures normally being adapted by the translator in order to make the translation process
easily conducted. There are many types of translation procedures are among the known one
would be direct and oblique procedures proposed by Jean-Paul Vinay & Jean Darbelnet.
According to Vinay and Dalbernet’s model of translation procedures, the use of oblique
translation procedures in the literary text is presupposed to surpass the direct translation
procedures. The table below illustrates the components that exist within both categories.
Table 1: Vinay and Dalbernert’s Model of Translation Procedures
There are also another model of translation’s procedure that preceded this model in which
including Newmark’s and Schreiber’s Model. Accoding to Newmark’s Model, he basically added
some extra terminological labels for selected translation procedures which is including
reduction/contraction and transcription/transference/loanword.
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Table 2: Newmark’s Model of Translation Procedures
As for Schreiber’s Model, he includes together the elements that were apparently missed by
those two earlier models which is lexical, grammatical and semantic. Below is the Model of
Translation Procedures proposed by Michael Schreiber.
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Table 3: Schreiber’s Model of Translation Procedures
In conducting the textual analysis of this project, we solely refers the first model mentioned early
which is accordingly to the Vinay and Dalbernert’s Translation Procedure’s Model for easy
reference and indication of analysis points.
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2.2) Explanation on the selected Procedures used in Text Translation
According to the Vinay & Dalbernet’s Translation Model, there are two types of
procedures are included which is direct and oblique. According to Oliynyk (2014), direct
translation or also called literal translation is applied when “structural and conceptual elements
of the source language can be transposed into the target language” resulted into the direct transfer
of source language text into a target text [ CITATION Oli14 \l 1033 ]. For instance, “all the
birds” that undergo direct translation will became “semua burung” in the Malay language in
which all the structural and semantic element from the first language are directly transferred into
the target language. There are three categories of direct procedures which are borrowing, calque
and literal translation. Below is the definition of each procedure accordingly to several theorists:
Borrowing as defined by the Newmark is the process in which “procedures which is used
to overcome a lacuna, usually a metalinguistic one such as a new technical process or an
unknown concept”[ CITATION New08 \l 1033 ]. This is however the simplest of all because the
main usage of borrowing is to induce the original stylistic effect while incorporate the flavor of
the culture presented in the Source language into the target language. The example would be
such as menu and déjà vu. Some examples found in our analysis of the target text are:
Zimmerman (pg 7) and Flannel (pg 10).
Calque on the other hand is a special kind of borrowing in which the special expression
found in the source language’s expression or structure will be transferred into the literal
translation[ CITATION New08 \l 1033 ]. Vinay and Darbelnet later distinguished calque into the
two categories namely lexical and structural calque. Lexical calque is the procedure in which
while incorporating a new mode of expression into the target language are still respecting the
syntactic structure of the source language. For example, “Compliments of the Seasons” will be
translated as “Compliments de la saison!”[ CITATION Dai13 \l 1033 ]. The example would be
prime minister- > perdana menteri and carburetor- > karburator. Other example found in our
analysis of the target text is: landlady -> nyonya rumah (pg 3), cap -> kep (pg 8) and beer ->bir
(pg 18).
Literal translation can be defined as word-for-word translation between the language of
the same family and culture in which directly transferred the external features of Source text into
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the Target text. According to Venuti, literal translation is closely referred to the “imitation, an
adaptation or a parody” in which not really regard as the true form of translation[ CITATION
Ric13 \l 1033 ]. An example found in our analysis of the target text is: I knew it! He muttered in
confusion - > “Aku tahu! Katanya merungut secara tak keruan” (pg 7).
To contrast with, oblique procedures on the other hand is the procedures applied when it
is impossible for the structural or conceptual element exist in the source text to be directly
translated into the target text without adjusting their meaning, grammatical and stylistic
elements. For example, the phrase “cows and goats” is translated into “lembu dan kambing”
instead of “lembu-lembu dan kambing-kambing”. There are altogether 4 types of oblique
translation which is Modulation, Transposition, Adaptation and Equivalence.
Transposition is the change of one part of speech with another part but still retain the
sense of the sentence. Newmark in agreement with Darbelnet proposed that trasnsposition “is a
change of the grammatical category in TL in comparison with that in SL” [ CITATION New08 \l
1033 ]. Transposition is largely adapted by the translators when the literal translation can still
possibly be used but may not be in coherence with the source text. An example found in our
analysis of the target text is: There are chance meetings with strangers that interest us from the
first moment, before a word is spoken -> “Yang menarik perhatian kita dari mula-mula lagi
ialah pertemuan antara orang-orang yang tidak dikenali yang berlaku secara tiba-tiba
walaupun tak sepatah perkataan pun yang dikeluarkan.”(pg 20).
Modulation is other types of oblique translation involving the changes in the semantic
and point of view of the source language when it was translated into the target language.
According to Venuti as cited in Tetyana (2014), modulation is the procedure that “entails a
variation of the form of the message, obtained by a change in the point of view”[ CITATION
Oli14 \l 1033 ]. In a simple word, it is the process that changes the described phenomenon in
term of thought, focus and the point of view regarding the whole conceptualization. This process
is adopted when even literal or transposed translation lead to the unsuitable, unidiomatic and
awkward in nature given the utterances is still grammatically correct[ CITATION Sha14 \l
1033 ]. An example found in our analysis of the target text is: Exceptionally -> sangat (pg 3).
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Equivalence in the other hand is the cases where the different stylistic or structural means
are employed in the languages that describe the same context and situation which primarily
includes idiom, clichés and proverbs. This procedure aim to find the closest likeness of the
message in the source language to be further translated into the target language for instance,
crying because of pain in French would be Aie!, but upon being translated into the English would
become Ouch!. An example found in our analysis of the target text is: My God -> Ya Rabbi (pg
28), hey there -> hoi (pg 7).
The final procedure is the Adaptation. This process according to Munday (2008) as cited
in Schjoldager (2008) involves the process of “changing the cultural reference when a situation
in a source culture does not exist in the target culture” [ CITATION Ann08 \l 1033 ]. This is a
condition where cultural word from the source language is translated accordingly to the cultural
word in the Target language. For example, in French they have the word baccalaureate. In
English however, they don’t have such a word to illustrate the notion denote by the word. Hence,
they come out with the adapted version of the word in which simply put as “French secondary
school leaving exam”[ CITATION Mar14 \l 1033 ]. An example found in our analysis of the
target text is: It’s rubbish -> tak munasabah (pg 16).
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2.3)
Discussion on the selected 3 Procedures used in Text Translation
Looking at the translation itself, it can be further concluded that all the procedures suggested by
Vinay and Dalbernet were used by the translator in translating the source text into the target text.
However, upon close study, there are several types of procedures frequently employed by the
translator in translating the text which are Equivalence, Adaptation and Calque.
Based on the analysis of the first three chapters, Equivalence procedures are used about
20 times followed by the Adaptation (18 times) and calque (11 times) similar to literal translation
(11 times). Other would be Modulation (8 times), Borrowing (5 times) and lastly Transposition
(2 times). The whole frequency is summarized into the table below:
TYPES OF PROCEDURES
Equivalence
Adaptation
Calque
Literal translation
Modulation
Borrowing
Transposition
FREQUENCY
20
18
11
11
8
5
2
Table 4: Frequency of the Adopted Procedures in the Translation Work
The table below indicates the entire excerpt for each of the translation procedures method
evidently found in the target text which is further being categorized accordingly to its own
categories.
TYPES OF
SOURCE TEXT
TARGET TEXT
PAGE
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1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
1
PROCEDURE
Borrowing
Calque
Literal Translation
Zimmerman
Ikon
Mohair
Drap-de-dames
Vodka
Landlady
Haymarket
Cap
Flannel
Rouble
Kopeck
Hay barge
Political economy
Young man
Physiology
Persia
His garret was under
Zimmerman
Ikon
Mohair
Drap-de-dames
Vodka
Nonya rumah
Pasar jerami
Kep
Flanel
Rubel
Kopek
Rakit jerami
Ekonomi politik
Orang muda
Fisiologi
Parsi
Biliknya yang terletak
7
12
28
34
40
3
6
8
10
13
14
23
26
29
32
32
3
the roof of a high, five- betul-betul di bawah
storied house, and was bumbung sebuah
more like a cupboard bangunan lima tingkat
than a room.
itu lebih menyerupai
sebuah almari daripada
2
But
for
some
past…
sebuah tempat tinggal.
time Tetapi sejak beberapa
3
waktu yang
3
kebelakangan ini…
…I am talking too …Aku sudah bercakap
5
4
much.
terlalu banyak.
From time to time, he Dari semasa ke semasa
6
would
5
something…
sesuatu…
I knew it,” he muttered Aku tahu! Katanya
in confusion
6
mutter dia akan merungut
7
merungut secara tak
keruan.
With my rags I ought to Dengan pakaianku yang
wear a cap.
compang camping ini
aku sepatutnya memakai
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kep.
… trifles that always Hal-hal yang kecil
7
ruin everything.
8
seperti itulah yang
merosakkan segala-
galanya.
He had counted them Dia pernah mengira
8
8
once when he had been langkahnya itu pada
lost in dreams.
suatu hari semasa dia
dihanyutkan oleh
mimpinya.
Everything was very Segala-galanya cukup
9
12
clean; the floor and the bersih;lantai dan
furniture were brightly perabot kelihatan
polished;
everything berkilat seperti baru
shone.
digilap. Segala-galanya
memancar-mancar.
Invariably stood open
Sentiasa sahaja terbuka
some fish, chopped up Ikan dipotong kecil
3
20
small
Garret
Tingkat teratas sebuah
3
2
Attendance
rumah
Khidmat pengemaan
3
3
bilik
Creep down the stairs Menyelinap menuruni
4
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
like cats
Den
Plaything!
Petersburg’s stench
Pot house
Hideous
Old pancake
Sinking heart
Full-skirted coat
5
5
5
6
8
8
8
18
10
11
1
Adaptation
tangga macam tikus
Lubang jerumun
Olok-olok!
Bau busuk musim panas
Kedai arak
Penuh cabaran
Kep lama
Hati yang berat
Kot ketat yang
berkelium dan berkolar
12
The
master
of
tinggi serta keras
the Tuan kedai arak
19
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13
establishment
Counselor in rank
High-flown speech
Penasihat kehormat
Gaya pengucapannya
22
24
14
a perfect Bedlam
yang bongkak
Suatu tempat yang
32
ngeri-segala-galanya
15
16
17
Cyrus of Persia
Civil Counselor
Lie like a beast
hiruk pikuk
Raja Parsi
Anggota Majlis Negeri
Terbaring di sana sini
32
33
37
18
1
2
Poppet
Hopeless
Anxiety of his position
macam anjing kurap
Intan payung
Tidak berguna
Keadaan hidupnya yang
39
3
4
Modulation
3
4
Given up
Nothing
melarat itu
mengalah
any Hakikatnya, dia tidak
that
4
4
landlady could do had a takut sedikit pun kepada
5
real terror for him.
nyonya rumah itu.
“His wife a year he Isteriku sepanjang tahun
18
6
fondly loved…
Walking along
18
7
crowded row…
jalan raya…
He met the one he used Cinta pertamaku di sana
18
to know.”
…handed
20
1
2
ku tersua.
whatever …melayan pelanggan
was wanted.
It’s
the
end
8
Transposition
kudakap…
the Semasa aku bersiar di
of Segalanya sudah punah
41
everything
ranah!
Made him scowls and Dia berasa malu dan
3
feel ashamed
menarik muka masam
The heat in the street Panas membahang di
5
was terrible:
There
are
20
atas jalan
chance Yang menarik perhatian
meetings with strangers kita dari mula-mula lagi
that interest us from the ialah pertemuan antara
first moment, before a orang-orang yang tidak
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word is spoken.
dikenali yang berlaku
secara tiba-tiba
walaupun tak sepatah
perkataan yang pernah
1
2
Equivalence
Quite the contrary
Verging
dikeluarkan.
Tidak begitu
on Cemas yang tidak
3
4
hypochondria
Jack the Giant killer
bersebab
Segala macam hal yang
5
Airlessness
Hey there!
Please yourself
aneh-aneh
Udara yang pengap
Hoi!
Terserahlah kepada
5
7
13
14
15
Goodbye
Good-day
Oh God!
It’s rubbish
Phew!
Humming
Grey beard
tarred boots
Stoutly built
Funny fellow
Hopelessly
kamu sendiri
Selamat tinggal
Selamat tinggal
Astaga!
Tak munasabah
Ya rabbi!
Bersenandung
Janggut putih
Kasut but hitamnya
Berbadan kental
Sungguh lucu
Tidak berpeluang
15
15
15
16
17
18
18
19
21
25
25
16
…I am not a pig?
sebesar tuma pun
…saya bukan manusia
27
I am a beast by nature.
tak berguna?
Saya memang dilahirkan
28
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
17
sebagai manusia
18
19
Stopped short
Violent excitement
keparat.
Membisu seribu bahasa
Perasaan gundah
20
He-he-he
gulana
Ha-ha-ha
35
37
41
Table 5: Excerpt for Translation Procedures Method from Target Text
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3.0) REVIEW & CONCLUSION
3.1) Overall Assessment
Good translations are often characterized by the ability of the translator in transporting
the element of semantic itself in the sense that the translated version is always similar to the
source text not only in term of the meaning only, but also the flavor of the language together with
the essence of the language itself. In this context, this piece of translation is not really represent
the dramatic idea wants to be portrayed by the original author about what’s really happening in
the novel itself. The gist of the content are there, but the feeling of being a part of the story are
missing as the translator only interested in translating only the meaning but not the whole
sentiment and emotion attached to every bits of the textual structures.
Whenever we read the translated version of his, we are always eager to flip in the source
text in the English version because of the missing element frequently happen in the translated
text. The good things is that the author trying his best to convey each of the semantic element
presented in the original text and we can clearly see that every single lines is accompanied by the
explanation for the words that is not available in Malay’s cultural context and that served as a
good reasons why equivalence procedure scored a lot in the analysis of the text. In order to make
it better, the author should also bring the emotion into the translated text.
The meaning are there, but it also should be accompanied by the original stylistic effect
to bring the readers into the author’s mind, to help the readers understand the real context of the
situation and problem presented in the text, to facilitate the exciting experience while reading the
novel and lastly to really portray the sentiment and emotion contained in every characters and
how it were passed from one character to another as the whole plot expended to be more
complex on its own. Reader’s experience when reading piece of literature materials are highly
depends on the first impression when reading the text.
When reading the original version of Crime and Punishment, the excitement is there.
However, upon reading the translated version in Malay language, we cannot found such an
excitement anymore. It’s more like we are reading just an ordinary book, no longer the literature
materials perhaps. This is a not a good experience and it can be further concluded that the
translated version is not as in the same par with the original text, and lots of improvement can be
made to further make the reader to be interested in experiencing the beauty of the narrative itself.
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3.2) Justified opinion on the quality of the translated text
The quality of the translated text in our opinion is not as comprehensible as the original
text given several mistranslations, under translation, over translation and even misspelling exist
in the target text. Besides, some of the translations are too directly follow the language
convention of the source language, make it easy to detect the translation process take place into
the work itself.
Mistranslation
Mistranslation often being characterized by the mistake in translating the grammatical and the
semantic component of the language accordingly to the several linguistic rules that have to be
abided in order to convey the meaning accurately. Several mistake made by the translator are
summarized further in the table below:
1
SOURCE TEXT
His wife a year he
TARGET TEXT
RECOMMENDATION
Isteriku sepanjang tahun Sepanjang tahun isterinya
PAGE
18
2
fondly loved.
His silent companion
kudakap
Sahabatnya yang
dikasihi/dicintai olehnya.
Tanpa sebarang komen,
18
looked with positive
menbisu seribu bahasa
temannya itu mendengar
hostility and mistrusts at
itu menganggap segala
segala ulasannya dengan
all these manifestations.
utusan perasaan itu
penuh dingin dan curiga .
sebagai suatu yang tidak
menyenangkan
3
There was another man
perasaannya
Selain mereka ini, ada
Masih ada juga seorang
in the room who looked
lagi seorang yang lain,
lelaki di kamar itu yang
somewhat like a retired
yang daripada
perawakannya persis
government clerk.
perawakannya, mungkin seorang pegawai kerajaan
seorang pegawai
18
yang sudah bersara.
kerajaan yang sudah
4
And there was
berasa.
Seterusnya ada sesuatu
Pada perawakan sifatnya,
21
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something respectable
dari segi
dapat dirasakan bahawa
and like an official
pembawaannya yang
orang tua itu adalah
about his manner too.
memperdayakan
seorang yang terhormat
sifatnya sebagai seorang dari gerak lakunya yang
pegawai kerajaan yang
formal itu.
…Walaupun hari itu hari
6
11
5
…although it was a
tenang.
…Walaupun hari itu
6
working day…
…still keeping her
hari minggu…
…tetapi matanya yang
bekerja…
…masih lagi menatapnya
inquiring eyes on his
penuh curiga itu masih
dengan penuh tanda tanya.
face.
terpaku memandang
dia.
TABLE 6: Mistranslation in the Target text
Other repetitive mistake often involved the misspelling or simply incorrect representation of the
work also happen to frequently occurred in the translated version of the novel. Below is the some
example of the misspelling, under translation and over translation happen to occur inside the
translated version of Balasan Dosa.
FEATURE
Misspelling
SOURCE TEXT
Good-day, Alyona
TARGET TEXT
Selamat tinggal Puan
RECOMMENDATION PAGE
Selamat tinggal Puan
15
Ivanovana.
At these moments
Alyona Ivanovra?
Pada ketika itu dia
Alyona Ivanovna.
Pada ketika itu dia cukup 6
he would become
cukup sedar bahawa
sedar bahawa sekali-
conscious that his
sekali-sekali
sekala fikirannya amat
ideas were
fikirannya amat
bercelaru …
sometimes in a
bercelaru …
Over
tangle…
Well, we will talk
Kalau begitu
Kalau begitu, akan kita
translation
about it then, sir
baguslah. Kita
bincangkan hal itu nanti
15
bercakap lagi tentang ya.
benda itu apabila
21 | P a g e
canal
street
He was sitting
sudah ada nanti.
Terusan Yekaterinsky terusan
10
Jalan Sadovaya
jalan
10
Dia sedang duduk di Duduknya jauh dari yang 18
apart, now and
suatu tempat yang
lain, sekali sekala
then sipping from
terasing daripada
meneguk minumannya
his pot and
orang lain, di depan
sambil melilau melihat
looking round at
setakar vodka,
suasana kelilingnya.
the company.
menghirup
minumannya itu dari
semasa ke semasa
sambil matanya
She was
memandang keliling.
Dia sangat menyintai
Dia amat menyayangi
exceedingly fond
suaminya itu, tetapi
suaminya itu. Namun
of her husband;
suaminya itu mula
kasihnya disia-siakan di
but he gave way to
pula berjudi, main
meja judi. Tidak lama
cards, got into
terup dan akhirnya
kemudian, suaminya
trouble and with
dibicarakan kerana
menemui ajal.
that he died.
menyalahgunakan
30
wang kerajaan dan
Under
I am a beast by
meninggal dunia.
Saya memang
Aku sememangnya
translation
nature.
dilahirkan sebagai
binatang.
28
manusia keparat
TABLE 7: The Fault in the Translation
3.3) Conclusion
As a conclusion, it can be summarized that this project has endowed us with a chance in looking
closely into the pattern and technique of translation procedures commonly utilized by the
translator in translating the source text into the target text. All the procedures are also not that
differ from one another but then significantly contributes to the whole structure of the message
being projected into the target view. Any mistake, misspelling and even misconception about
22 | P a g e
one’s language in transferring process may always result in the miscommunication of the info to
the audience. This study also highlights the importance of equivalence procedure in translating
the foreign language into one’s native language as the similarity in the same concept in the equal
context not always correspondingly exist in both language and hence to find the naturally closest
equivalent is the best way after all. Last but not least, it is also best argued that too much literal
translation in the creative work is not that significantly contribute to the pleasant reading
experience especially to local reader and therefore we want to suggest that modulation and
transposition process are applied more into the translating this kind of literature masterpiece in
the future.
Bibliography
Ahmad, M. (1994). Balasan Dosa. Kuala Lumpur: Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka.
Dostoyevsky, F. M. (1917). Crime and Punishment. New York: Collier & Son.
Newmark, P. (2008). A Textbook of Translation. Harlow: Pearson Education Limited.
Oliynyk, T. (2014). Metaphor Translation Methods. International Journal of Applied Science and
Technology Vol. 4 , 123-126.
23 | P a g e
Schiaffino, R., & Zearo, F. (2013). Translation Quality Measurement in Practice. 46thATA Conference.
Seattle: Aliquantum.
Schjoldager, A. (2008). Understanding Translation. Wales: Academica.
Shakernia, S. (2014). Study of Nida’s (formal and dynamic equivalence) and Newmark’s (semantic and
communicative translation) translating theories on two short stories. Merit Research Journal of
Education and Review , 2-7.
Shuttleworth, M., & Cowie, M. (2014). Dictionary of Translation Studies. California: Routledge.
Šidiškytė, D., & Tamulaitienė, D. (2013). The Contrastive Analysis of the Translation of English Film Titles
into Lithuanian and Russian. St.Petersburg: Kalbu Studijos.
6.0)
APPENDIXES
24 | P a g e
25 | P a g e
CRIME & PUNISHMENT (BALASAN DOSA)
IZZATI ROZMAN
HILMI CHE AHAMAD
AMIRUL AKMAL YUSRE
SUFIAN SUHAIMI
University of Sultan Zainal Abidin, Malaysia
1|Page
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Title
Page
Table of Contents
i
1.0)
INTRODUCTION……………………………………………………………………………
……...……1
1.1) Brief background on researched novel
1.1.1. Source text
1.1.2. Target text
1.2) Synopsis of the Novel
1.3) Reasons it’s translated
2.0)
TEXTUAL ANALYSIS………………………………………………….
…………………………...……8
2.1) Techniques & Procedures used in Translation
2.2) Explanation on the selected Procedures used in Text Translation
2.2.1. Direct Procedures
2.2.1.1.
Borrowing
2.2.1.2.
Calque
2.2.1.3.
Literal translation
2.2.2. Oblique Procedures
2.2.2.1.
Modulation
2.2.2.2.
Adaptation
2.2.2.3.
Equivalence
2.2.2.4.
Transposition
2.3) Discussion on the selected 3 procedures with excerpt from the
Target text
2.3.1. Modulation
2.3.2. Adaptation
2.3.3. Transposition
2.3.4. Others
2|Page
3.0)
REVIEW AND
CONCLUSION…………………………………………………………………...…20
3.1) Overall assessment of the translation
3.2) Justified opinion on the quality of the translation
3.3) Conclusion
4.0)
LIST OF REFERENCES………………………………………………………….
………………...…25
5.0) APPENDIX…………………………………………………….
……………………………………...….26
3|Page
1.0)
INTRODUCTION
1.1)
Brief Background on the Researched Novel
Our textual analysis for this group project is thoroughly based on the classic literature piece that
is originally written by Russian author in 1917[ CITATION Fyo171 \l 1033 ]. The authenticity
presented in the writing besides the availability of the translated version in Malay language
served as the main catalyst for us in analyzing the translated text further in term of the
procedures used by the translator in translating the source text[ CITATION Mok941 \l 1033 ].
Below is the background of the source and translated materials used in our textual analysis.
1.1.1)
Source text
Title:
Translator:
Year:
Publisher:
City:
1.1.2)
Target text
Title:
Translator:
Year:
Publisher:
City:
1.2)
Crime and Punishment
Fyodor Mikhail Dostoyevsky
1917
Collier & Son
New York
Balasan Dosa
Mokhtar Ahmad
1994
Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka
Kuala Lumpur
Synopsis of the Novel
The entire novel was written in the English Language neatly organized into 6 major Parts
including 1 Epilogue section together with 41 Chapters. In contrast, there are several minor
4|Page
changes in the translated version in which all the content were reshuffled into the different
organization and this will be discussed further in the Review and Conclusion section.
The major synopsis of this great novel revolved around the mental anguish and dilemmas
of deprived man who unconsciously formulates a deadly plan in murdering an old lady because
of the poverty. Rodion Raskolnikov is a former student live in the St. Petersburg who has a
conflict within himself either to kill or being killed by the poverty itself. He planned to kill an
elderly corrupt, unpleasant pawnbroker and money lender named Alyona Ivanovna, arguing that
he can perform good deeds using the woman’s money to counterbalance the crime afterwards.
By committing the murder, Rascolnikov confirmed his own hypothesis that man in any intricate
situation are capable of doing a crime despite of the fears because they even has a right to do the
deeds and evidently based the judgment of his action upon the philosophy commended by
Napoleon Bonaparte in which “murder is permissible in pursuit of a higher purpose”. In this
novel, Raskolnikocv refused all the help from his friend and acquainted himself with a drunker,
Semyon Zakharovich Marmeladov in devising the strategy to kill the old lady. Upon serious
reflection, he finally murders the women with an axe together with her half-sister, Lizaveta who
happen to witness the incident. Manage to hide the crime for a while, he flees unseen and
undetected but due to the obsessive worries over the murder, he falls into the serious mental
illness coupled by the feverish state. Some unfortunate circumstances came by afterwards in a
series of unlucky affairs and he was sentenced to eight years of penal servitude in Siberia.
Despite of the struggles he faced upon the crimes committed before, under Sonya’s loving
influence he was able to readopt and regenerate back his moral and self-worth after some time.
His sister married and live happily while his mother unable to cope with the situation fall sick
and dies, leaving Raskolnikov a deeper grief upon the crime he commit.
Synopsis of Part 1- Chapter 1, 2 & 3
5|Page
Due to time constraint, we are able to select only the first three chapters to be included in
our textual analysis task. In this chapter, we were introduced to the main protagonist of this novel
which is Raskolnikov. Set in the St.Petersburg, Russia in the mid 1860s, the author describe the
appearance and physical attributes of the young man in which illustrated as the young, good
looking man but dressed shabbily in rags. He lived in a tacky little room and ready to go to the
pawnbroker’s house, Alyona Ivanovna. She is indeed a mean old lady but he can’t complain
much because she is the resources to get himself a ruble or kopeck of money every time he went
there pawning some material since years back. The lady lives with her mentally challenged sister
who is very sweet and kind person in an apartment down the street nearby his flat. Along the
walk, he continuously fighting with his inner self either to commit the murder or not because he
is not so sure whether he is capable of doing it or not despite of the fact that he really should go
and will go through the crime sooner or later. His visit to the old lady house was being attend
with full suspicion and he thoroughly inspect the house which keep the lady in unease situation.
Later he pawns his father’s watch which grants him only a ruble and makes him finally decide
his mind to kill the unscrupulous lady. The next day he met with Marmalov, a drunken man
whose fate has been crossed by the poverty. From there, two of the man start to devise their
strategy to murder the lady but unfortunately Marmalov involved in the accident later in the
following days after being trampled by the horse carriage.
1.3) Reasons the Novel was Translated
The core reason why the novel was being translated into many other languages is
significantly grounded on the fact that the embodiment of the literature masterpiece was
thoroughly embraced deep inside the work itself. Due to the positive reception upon issued on
1866, the novel has been a literary sensation, met with public success. This novel served as a
product of his environment and the main theme illustrated the major social issue faced by the
Russian in the 80s. Crime and Punishment also become among the couple of films being adapted
into the films approximately 25 times in various languages including Russia, Japanese, Finnish
and many more make it as one of the most astoundingly compelling and petrifying books in all
literature. In Malaysia, this novel has been chosen as one of the international creative
masterpiece to be translated into the Malay language because of the positive reception it garnered
across the globe plus the fact that the language used vividly portrayed the real phenomenon and
6|Page
the condition faced by the Russian in the early 80s. This translated version of the novel may
served as a global historical fiction to be included further inside the Malaysia’s canon literature
as well as the reading material for those who are interested in the collection of the literature
under the gloomy melancholic version.
2.0) TEXTUAL ANALYSIS
7|Page
2.1) Techniques & Procedures Used in Translating the Documents
In translating the document from the source language into the target language, there are several
procedures normally being adapted by the translator in order to make the translation process
easily conducted. There are many types of translation procedures are among the known one
would be direct and oblique procedures proposed by Jean-Paul Vinay & Jean Darbelnet.
According to Vinay and Dalbernet’s model of translation procedures, the use of oblique
translation procedures in the literary text is presupposed to surpass the direct translation
procedures. The table below illustrates the components that exist within both categories.
Table 1: Vinay and Dalbernert’s Model of Translation Procedures
There are also another model of translation’s procedure that preceded this model in which
including Newmark’s and Schreiber’s Model. Accoding to Newmark’s Model, he basically added
some extra terminological labels for selected translation procedures which is including
reduction/contraction and transcription/transference/loanword.
8|Page
Table 2: Newmark’s Model of Translation Procedures
As for Schreiber’s Model, he includes together the elements that were apparently missed by
those two earlier models which is lexical, grammatical and semantic. Below is the Model of
Translation Procedures proposed by Michael Schreiber.
9|Page
Table 3: Schreiber’s Model of Translation Procedures
In conducting the textual analysis of this project, we solely refers the first model mentioned early
which is accordingly to the Vinay and Dalbernert’s Translation Procedure’s Model for easy
reference and indication of analysis points.
10 | P a g e
2.2) Explanation on the selected Procedures used in Text Translation
According to the Vinay & Dalbernet’s Translation Model, there are two types of
procedures are included which is direct and oblique. According to Oliynyk (2014), direct
translation or also called literal translation is applied when “structural and conceptual elements
of the source language can be transposed into the target language” resulted into the direct transfer
of source language text into a target text [ CITATION Oli14 \l 1033 ]. For instance, “all the
birds” that undergo direct translation will became “semua burung” in the Malay language in
which all the structural and semantic element from the first language are directly transferred into
the target language. There are three categories of direct procedures which are borrowing, calque
and literal translation. Below is the definition of each procedure accordingly to several theorists:
Borrowing as defined by the Newmark is the process in which “procedures which is used
to overcome a lacuna, usually a metalinguistic one such as a new technical process or an
unknown concept”[ CITATION New08 \l 1033 ]. This is however the simplest of all because the
main usage of borrowing is to induce the original stylistic effect while incorporate the flavor of
the culture presented in the Source language into the target language. The example would be
such as menu and déjà vu. Some examples found in our analysis of the target text are:
Zimmerman (pg 7) and Flannel (pg 10).
Calque on the other hand is a special kind of borrowing in which the special expression
found in the source language’s expression or structure will be transferred into the literal
translation[ CITATION New08 \l 1033 ]. Vinay and Darbelnet later distinguished calque into the
two categories namely lexical and structural calque. Lexical calque is the procedure in which
while incorporating a new mode of expression into the target language are still respecting the
syntactic structure of the source language. For example, “Compliments of the Seasons” will be
translated as “Compliments de la saison!”[ CITATION Dai13 \l 1033 ]. The example would be
prime minister- > perdana menteri and carburetor- > karburator. Other example found in our
analysis of the target text is: landlady -> nyonya rumah (pg 3), cap -> kep (pg 8) and beer ->bir
(pg 18).
Literal translation can be defined as word-for-word translation between the language of
the same family and culture in which directly transferred the external features of Source text into
11 | P a g e
the Target text. According to Venuti, literal translation is closely referred to the “imitation, an
adaptation or a parody” in which not really regard as the true form of translation[ CITATION
Ric13 \l 1033 ]. An example found in our analysis of the target text is: I knew it! He muttered in
confusion - > “Aku tahu! Katanya merungut secara tak keruan” (pg 7).
To contrast with, oblique procedures on the other hand is the procedures applied when it
is impossible for the structural or conceptual element exist in the source text to be directly
translated into the target text without adjusting their meaning, grammatical and stylistic
elements. For example, the phrase “cows and goats” is translated into “lembu dan kambing”
instead of “lembu-lembu dan kambing-kambing”. There are altogether 4 types of oblique
translation which is Modulation, Transposition, Adaptation and Equivalence.
Transposition is the change of one part of speech with another part but still retain the
sense of the sentence. Newmark in agreement with Darbelnet proposed that trasnsposition “is a
change of the grammatical category in TL in comparison with that in SL” [ CITATION New08 \l
1033 ]. Transposition is largely adapted by the translators when the literal translation can still
possibly be used but may not be in coherence with the source text. An example found in our
analysis of the target text is: There are chance meetings with strangers that interest us from the
first moment, before a word is spoken -> “Yang menarik perhatian kita dari mula-mula lagi
ialah pertemuan antara orang-orang yang tidak dikenali yang berlaku secara tiba-tiba
walaupun tak sepatah perkataan pun yang dikeluarkan.”(pg 20).
Modulation is other types of oblique translation involving the changes in the semantic
and point of view of the source language when it was translated into the target language.
According to Venuti as cited in Tetyana (2014), modulation is the procedure that “entails a
variation of the form of the message, obtained by a change in the point of view”[ CITATION
Oli14 \l 1033 ]. In a simple word, it is the process that changes the described phenomenon in
term of thought, focus and the point of view regarding the whole conceptualization. This process
is adopted when even literal or transposed translation lead to the unsuitable, unidiomatic and
awkward in nature given the utterances is still grammatically correct[ CITATION Sha14 \l
1033 ]. An example found in our analysis of the target text is: Exceptionally -> sangat (pg 3).
12 | P a g e
Equivalence in the other hand is the cases where the different stylistic or structural means
are employed in the languages that describe the same context and situation which primarily
includes idiom, clichés and proverbs. This procedure aim to find the closest likeness of the
message in the source language to be further translated into the target language for instance,
crying because of pain in French would be Aie!, but upon being translated into the English would
become Ouch!. An example found in our analysis of the target text is: My God -> Ya Rabbi (pg
28), hey there -> hoi (pg 7).
The final procedure is the Adaptation. This process according to Munday (2008) as cited
in Schjoldager (2008) involves the process of “changing the cultural reference when a situation
in a source culture does not exist in the target culture” [ CITATION Ann08 \l 1033 ]. This is a
condition where cultural word from the source language is translated accordingly to the cultural
word in the Target language. For example, in French they have the word baccalaureate. In
English however, they don’t have such a word to illustrate the notion denote by the word. Hence,
they come out with the adapted version of the word in which simply put as “French secondary
school leaving exam”[ CITATION Mar14 \l 1033 ]. An example found in our analysis of the
target text is: It’s rubbish -> tak munasabah (pg 16).
13 | P a g e
2.3)
Discussion on the selected 3 Procedures used in Text Translation
Looking at the translation itself, it can be further concluded that all the procedures suggested by
Vinay and Dalbernet were used by the translator in translating the source text into the target text.
However, upon close study, there are several types of procedures frequently employed by the
translator in translating the text which are Equivalence, Adaptation and Calque.
Based on the analysis of the first three chapters, Equivalence procedures are used about
20 times followed by the Adaptation (18 times) and calque (11 times) similar to literal translation
(11 times). Other would be Modulation (8 times), Borrowing (5 times) and lastly Transposition
(2 times). The whole frequency is summarized into the table below:
TYPES OF PROCEDURES
Equivalence
Adaptation
Calque
Literal translation
Modulation
Borrowing
Transposition
FREQUENCY
20
18
11
11
8
5
2
Table 4: Frequency of the Adopted Procedures in the Translation Work
The table below indicates the entire excerpt for each of the translation procedures method
evidently found in the target text which is further being categorized accordingly to its own
categories.
TYPES OF
SOURCE TEXT
TARGET TEXT
PAGE
14 | P a g e
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
1
PROCEDURE
Borrowing
Calque
Literal Translation
Zimmerman
Ikon
Mohair
Drap-de-dames
Vodka
Landlady
Haymarket
Cap
Flannel
Rouble
Kopeck
Hay barge
Political economy
Young man
Physiology
Persia
His garret was under
Zimmerman
Ikon
Mohair
Drap-de-dames
Vodka
Nonya rumah
Pasar jerami
Kep
Flanel
Rubel
Kopek
Rakit jerami
Ekonomi politik
Orang muda
Fisiologi
Parsi
Biliknya yang terletak
7
12
28
34
40
3
6
8
10
13
14
23
26
29
32
32
3
the roof of a high, five- betul-betul di bawah
storied house, and was bumbung sebuah
more like a cupboard bangunan lima tingkat
than a room.
itu lebih menyerupai
sebuah almari daripada
2
But
for
some
past…
sebuah tempat tinggal.
time Tetapi sejak beberapa
3
waktu yang
3
kebelakangan ini…
…I am talking too …Aku sudah bercakap
5
4
much.
terlalu banyak.
From time to time, he Dari semasa ke semasa
6
would
5
something…
sesuatu…
I knew it,” he muttered Aku tahu! Katanya
in confusion
6
mutter dia akan merungut
7
merungut secara tak
keruan.
With my rags I ought to Dengan pakaianku yang
wear a cap.
compang camping ini
aku sepatutnya memakai
15 | P a g e
kep.
… trifles that always Hal-hal yang kecil
7
ruin everything.
8
seperti itulah yang
merosakkan segala-
galanya.
He had counted them Dia pernah mengira
8
8
once when he had been langkahnya itu pada
lost in dreams.
suatu hari semasa dia
dihanyutkan oleh
mimpinya.
Everything was very Segala-galanya cukup
9
12
clean; the floor and the bersih;lantai dan
furniture were brightly perabot kelihatan
polished;
everything berkilat seperti baru
shone.
digilap. Segala-galanya
memancar-mancar.
Invariably stood open
Sentiasa sahaja terbuka
some fish, chopped up Ikan dipotong kecil
3
20
small
Garret
Tingkat teratas sebuah
3
2
Attendance
rumah
Khidmat pengemaan
3
3
bilik
Creep down the stairs Menyelinap menuruni
4
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
like cats
Den
Plaything!
Petersburg’s stench
Pot house
Hideous
Old pancake
Sinking heart
Full-skirted coat
5
5
5
6
8
8
8
18
10
11
1
Adaptation
tangga macam tikus
Lubang jerumun
Olok-olok!
Bau busuk musim panas
Kedai arak
Penuh cabaran
Kep lama
Hati yang berat
Kot ketat yang
berkelium dan berkolar
12
The
master
of
tinggi serta keras
the Tuan kedai arak
19
16 | P a g e
13
establishment
Counselor in rank
High-flown speech
Penasihat kehormat
Gaya pengucapannya
22
24
14
a perfect Bedlam
yang bongkak
Suatu tempat yang
32
ngeri-segala-galanya
15
16
17
Cyrus of Persia
Civil Counselor
Lie like a beast
hiruk pikuk
Raja Parsi
Anggota Majlis Negeri
Terbaring di sana sini
32
33
37
18
1
2
Poppet
Hopeless
Anxiety of his position
macam anjing kurap
Intan payung
Tidak berguna
Keadaan hidupnya yang
39
3
4
Modulation
3
4
Given up
Nothing
melarat itu
mengalah
any Hakikatnya, dia tidak
that
4
4
landlady could do had a takut sedikit pun kepada
5
real terror for him.
nyonya rumah itu.
“His wife a year he Isteriku sepanjang tahun
18
6
fondly loved…
Walking along
18
7
crowded row…
jalan raya…
He met the one he used Cinta pertamaku di sana
18
to know.”
…handed
20
1
2
ku tersua.
whatever …melayan pelanggan
was wanted.
It’s
the
end
8
Transposition
kudakap…
the Semasa aku bersiar di
of Segalanya sudah punah
41
everything
ranah!
Made him scowls and Dia berasa malu dan
3
feel ashamed
menarik muka masam
The heat in the street Panas membahang di
5
was terrible:
There
are
20
atas jalan
chance Yang menarik perhatian
meetings with strangers kita dari mula-mula lagi
that interest us from the ialah pertemuan antara
first moment, before a orang-orang yang tidak
17 | P a g e
word is spoken.
dikenali yang berlaku
secara tiba-tiba
walaupun tak sepatah
perkataan yang pernah
1
2
Equivalence
Quite the contrary
Verging
dikeluarkan.
Tidak begitu
on Cemas yang tidak
3
4
hypochondria
Jack the Giant killer
bersebab
Segala macam hal yang
5
Airlessness
Hey there!
Please yourself
aneh-aneh
Udara yang pengap
Hoi!
Terserahlah kepada
5
7
13
14
15
Goodbye
Good-day
Oh God!
It’s rubbish
Phew!
Humming
Grey beard
tarred boots
Stoutly built
Funny fellow
Hopelessly
kamu sendiri
Selamat tinggal
Selamat tinggal
Astaga!
Tak munasabah
Ya rabbi!
Bersenandung
Janggut putih
Kasut but hitamnya
Berbadan kental
Sungguh lucu
Tidak berpeluang
15
15
15
16
17
18
18
19
21
25
25
16
…I am not a pig?
sebesar tuma pun
…saya bukan manusia
27
I am a beast by nature.
tak berguna?
Saya memang dilahirkan
28
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
17
sebagai manusia
18
19
Stopped short
Violent excitement
keparat.
Membisu seribu bahasa
Perasaan gundah
20
He-he-he
gulana
Ha-ha-ha
35
37
41
Table 5: Excerpt for Translation Procedures Method from Target Text
18 | P a g e
3.0) REVIEW & CONCLUSION
3.1) Overall Assessment
Good translations are often characterized by the ability of the translator in transporting
the element of semantic itself in the sense that the translated version is always similar to the
source text not only in term of the meaning only, but also the flavor of the language together with
the essence of the language itself. In this context, this piece of translation is not really represent
the dramatic idea wants to be portrayed by the original author about what’s really happening in
the novel itself. The gist of the content are there, but the feeling of being a part of the story are
missing as the translator only interested in translating only the meaning but not the whole
sentiment and emotion attached to every bits of the textual structures.
Whenever we read the translated version of his, we are always eager to flip in the source
text in the English version because of the missing element frequently happen in the translated
text. The good things is that the author trying his best to convey each of the semantic element
presented in the original text and we can clearly see that every single lines is accompanied by the
explanation for the words that is not available in Malay’s cultural context and that served as a
good reasons why equivalence procedure scored a lot in the analysis of the text. In order to make
it better, the author should also bring the emotion into the translated text.
The meaning are there, but it also should be accompanied by the original stylistic effect
to bring the readers into the author’s mind, to help the readers understand the real context of the
situation and problem presented in the text, to facilitate the exciting experience while reading the
novel and lastly to really portray the sentiment and emotion contained in every characters and
how it were passed from one character to another as the whole plot expended to be more
complex on its own. Reader’s experience when reading piece of literature materials are highly
depends on the first impression when reading the text.
When reading the original version of Crime and Punishment, the excitement is there.
However, upon reading the translated version in Malay language, we cannot found such an
excitement anymore. It’s more like we are reading just an ordinary book, no longer the literature
materials perhaps. This is a not a good experience and it can be further concluded that the
translated version is not as in the same par with the original text, and lots of improvement can be
made to further make the reader to be interested in experiencing the beauty of the narrative itself.
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3.2) Justified opinion on the quality of the translated text
The quality of the translated text in our opinion is not as comprehensible as the original
text given several mistranslations, under translation, over translation and even misspelling exist
in the target text. Besides, some of the translations are too directly follow the language
convention of the source language, make it easy to detect the translation process take place into
the work itself.
Mistranslation
Mistranslation often being characterized by the mistake in translating the grammatical and the
semantic component of the language accordingly to the several linguistic rules that have to be
abided in order to convey the meaning accurately. Several mistake made by the translator are
summarized further in the table below:
1
SOURCE TEXT
His wife a year he
TARGET TEXT
RECOMMENDATION
Isteriku sepanjang tahun Sepanjang tahun isterinya
PAGE
18
2
fondly loved.
His silent companion
kudakap
Sahabatnya yang
dikasihi/dicintai olehnya.
Tanpa sebarang komen,
18
looked with positive
menbisu seribu bahasa
temannya itu mendengar
hostility and mistrusts at
itu menganggap segala
segala ulasannya dengan
all these manifestations.
utusan perasaan itu
penuh dingin dan curiga .
sebagai suatu yang tidak
menyenangkan
3
There was another man
perasaannya
Selain mereka ini, ada
Masih ada juga seorang
in the room who looked
lagi seorang yang lain,
lelaki di kamar itu yang
somewhat like a retired
yang daripada
perawakannya persis
government clerk.
perawakannya, mungkin seorang pegawai kerajaan
seorang pegawai
18
yang sudah bersara.
kerajaan yang sudah
4
And there was
berasa.
Seterusnya ada sesuatu
Pada perawakan sifatnya,
21
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something respectable
dari segi
dapat dirasakan bahawa
and like an official
pembawaannya yang
orang tua itu adalah
about his manner too.
memperdayakan
seorang yang terhormat
sifatnya sebagai seorang dari gerak lakunya yang
pegawai kerajaan yang
formal itu.
…Walaupun hari itu hari
6
11
5
…although it was a
tenang.
…Walaupun hari itu
6
working day…
…still keeping her
hari minggu…
…tetapi matanya yang
bekerja…
…masih lagi menatapnya
inquiring eyes on his
penuh curiga itu masih
dengan penuh tanda tanya.
face.
terpaku memandang
dia.
TABLE 6: Mistranslation in the Target text
Other repetitive mistake often involved the misspelling or simply incorrect representation of the
work also happen to frequently occurred in the translated version of the novel. Below is the some
example of the misspelling, under translation and over translation happen to occur inside the
translated version of Balasan Dosa.
FEATURE
Misspelling
SOURCE TEXT
Good-day, Alyona
TARGET TEXT
Selamat tinggal Puan
RECOMMENDATION PAGE
Selamat tinggal Puan
15
Ivanovana.
At these moments
Alyona Ivanovra?
Pada ketika itu dia
Alyona Ivanovna.
Pada ketika itu dia cukup 6
he would become
cukup sedar bahawa
sedar bahawa sekali-
conscious that his
sekali-sekali
sekala fikirannya amat
ideas were
fikirannya amat
bercelaru …
sometimes in a
bercelaru …
Over
tangle…
Well, we will talk
Kalau begitu
Kalau begitu, akan kita
translation
about it then, sir
baguslah. Kita
bincangkan hal itu nanti
15
bercakap lagi tentang ya.
benda itu apabila
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canal
street
He was sitting
sudah ada nanti.
Terusan Yekaterinsky terusan
10
Jalan Sadovaya
jalan
10
Dia sedang duduk di Duduknya jauh dari yang 18
apart, now and
suatu tempat yang
lain, sekali sekala
then sipping from
terasing daripada
meneguk minumannya
his pot and
orang lain, di depan
sambil melilau melihat
looking round at
setakar vodka,
suasana kelilingnya.
the company.
menghirup
minumannya itu dari
semasa ke semasa
sambil matanya
She was
memandang keliling.
Dia sangat menyintai
Dia amat menyayangi
exceedingly fond
suaminya itu, tetapi
suaminya itu. Namun
of her husband;
suaminya itu mula
kasihnya disia-siakan di
but he gave way to
pula berjudi, main
meja judi. Tidak lama
cards, got into
terup dan akhirnya
kemudian, suaminya
trouble and with
dibicarakan kerana
menemui ajal.
that he died.
menyalahgunakan
30
wang kerajaan dan
Under
I am a beast by
meninggal dunia.
Saya memang
Aku sememangnya
translation
nature.
dilahirkan sebagai
binatang.
28
manusia keparat
TABLE 7: The Fault in the Translation
3.3) Conclusion
As a conclusion, it can be summarized that this project has endowed us with a chance in looking
closely into the pattern and technique of translation procedures commonly utilized by the
translator in translating the source text into the target text. All the procedures are also not that
differ from one another but then significantly contributes to the whole structure of the message
being projected into the target view. Any mistake, misspelling and even misconception about
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one’s language in transferring process may always result in the miscommunication of the info to
the audience. This study also highlights the importance of equivalence procedure in translating
the foreign language into one’s native language as the similarity in the same concept in the equal
context not always correspondingly exist in both language and hence to find the naturally closest
equivalent is the best way after all. Last but not least, it is also best argued that too much literal
translation in the creative work is not that significantly contribute to the pleasant reading
experience especially to local reader and therefore we want to suggest that modulation and
transposition process are applied more into the translating this kind of literature masterpiece in
the future.
Bibliography
Ahmad, M. (1994). Balasan Dosa. Kuala Lumpur: Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka.
Dostoyevsky, F. M. (1917). Crime and Punishment. New York: Collier & Son.
Newmark, P. (2008). A Textbook of Translation. Harlow: Pearson Education Limited.
Oliynyk, T. (2014). Metaphor Translation Methods. International Journal of Applied Science and
Technology Vol. 4 , 123-126.
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Schiaffino, R., & Zearo, F. (2013). Translation Quality Measurement in Practice. 46thATA Conference.
Seattle: Aliquantum.
Schjoldager, A. (2008). Understanding Translation. Wales: Academica.
Shakernia, S. (2014). Study of Nida’s (formal and dynamic equivalence) and Newmark’s (semantic and
communicative translation) translating theories on two short stories. Merit Research Journal of
Education and Review , 2-7.
Shuttleworth, M., & Cowie, M. (2014). Dictionary of Translation Studies. California: Routledge.
Šidiškytė, D., & Tamulaitienė, D. (2013). The Contrastive Analysis of the Translation of English Film Titles
into Lithuanian and Russian. St.Petersburg: Kalbu Studijos.
6.0)
APPENDIXES
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