a want that arouses and directs behavior toward a goal. Jung adds that when a person is motivated, he will survive and struggle even if obstacles and difficulties
come into his life. He will perform the best efforts to achieve his goal of life 5. This also happens to Clare; her motivation keeps her struggling, even in the most
terrible situations she has to deal with. Clare struggles to put her dream into reality so that she can change her life into a better one.
The following are the explanations of the causes of Clare’s struggle:
a. Her Family Life
Life in Clare’s family changes since her father’s winning of the second Littlewoods Pools. Clare’s father, George, becomes wealthy after that. He spends
his money wisely on buying a dozen houses in Camberwell and lives off the rent. George then abandons the family by leaving them after Patsy is born, but from
time to time, he comes back. Since that, money always becomes the source of tension in the family. One occasion, Clare’s mother tries to persuade George to
buy a house in her name, but he refuses. However, George allows her to collect rent from some of the houses as his contribution to the financial needs of the
family. But, it is never enough for her. My father left my mother after Patsy was born, but from time to time he
came back. I have no recollection of him sleeping the night in our house or even having breakfast with us. My mother was always after his money.
She tried to convince him to buy a house in her name. He refused, but he did let her collect the rent from some of the houses as his contribution to
the upkeep of the family. It was never enough for her Briscoe 11. George only returns to bring food for the family. One Saturday morning
George comes to the house and brings two chickens in his hand. But, his action puts Carmen into a real anger. In Carmen’s view George does not give her enough
money. Two dead chickens are not enough. One way of her saving money is by not giving her children enough food. Carmen always keeps the food cupboard
locked, with the key in her bra. When Clare and her sisters are hungry and ask Carmen for some biscuits, she simply says that they have a father and they should
ask him for biscuits Briscoe 20. On a Saturday evening, the children are waiting for their food to be served.
But, Carmen removes Clare’s plate and puts it on the side. She is ignored, while the other children get roast potatoes, chicken, carrots, sweet potatoes, onions, and
gravy. When Clare asks for her dinner, her mother says that she will wet the bed if Clare eats it. Besides not being given food, Clare is also asked to clear the table
and to wash the dishes. However, her mother’s cruelty does not stop at that point. She then insists Clare to sleep with no clothes since she will only make them wet
Briscoe 49. Not only Carmen neglects her daughter by not giving her enough food, but
she also never gives her daughter decent clothes. Different from her sisters who are always bought new dresses, Clare only gets hand-me-downs or even third-
hand from Pauline and Pasty Briscoe 12. And the worst of all happens when Clare asks her mother for a dress used for her First Holly Communion. Carmen
does not give Clare the white dress previously used by her sisters for their First Holly Communion. Instead, he buys Clare a dress from a second-hand shop. It is
miserable that the dress’ color is grayish and it has a large circle, which stains at the back as if someone had wet the dress Briscoe 125-126.
Her physiological needs mainly become the causes that force Clare to struggle. Maslow states that the most powerful and important of all basic needs
are the needs for physical survival. They include the needs for food, liquid, shelter, sex, sleep, and oxygen. He points out “For the man who is extremely
hungry, no other interests exist but food. He dreams food, he remembers food … and he wants only food” as qtd. in Goble 38. In this case, Clare’s needs of food
and decent clothes are her basic reasons of struggling and fighting her horrible world of life to gain a better one.
Because of her bed-wetting, Clare is often punished. She is asked to sleep in a bed with just a bare mattress without a single sheet, just a plastic cover. Her
mother says that it does not matter since Clare will only wet the bed anyway. However, her bed-wetting gets worse and her mother takes Clare to some experts.
Clare is then given a bed-wetting alarm to be put in her bed. Instead of stopping Clare’s bed-wetting, this alarm puts Clare into further anxiety. As her bed-wetting
becomes a real problem, her mother then insists Clare to sleep with no clothes. Her mother also makes a new policy by giving Clare some beatings before
sleeping to remind her not to wet the bed Briscoe 13-14. One occasion when Clare is going to go to bed, Carmen enters into her
room and removes Clare’s clothes with a reason that Clare will only make them wet. When Clare is naked, Carmen calls for her other children to see. She then
punches Clare in her stomach and on her upper thigh. As she is asking when Clare is going to stop her bed-wetting, she slaps her and punches her on the right
shoulder. Carmen then grabs Clare’s minnie and squeezes it tightly. She also scoops Clare’s breasts and squeezes the nipples.
Suddenly, she dug her nails into my minnie. I seized her hands with mine to control the pressure. She let go abruptly and grabbed hold of my right
breast. I had been hoping that she wouldn’t do that. I was in sheer pain. As I moved my hands up to protect my buds, my mother grabbed hold of the
other one and then she grabbed hold of both nipples and squeezed so that they were flattened between her fingers Briscoe 51.
Mistakes also lead punishments for Clare. While preparing for the food as
usual, Clare misses three soft hairs of a chicken. Although she is sure that the chicken is clear already, there are still soft hairs left. When Carmen notices it, she
gets annoyed and punishes Clare by knocking her knuckles using the edge of an empty milk bottle. Carmen brings the edge of it down across Clare’s knuckles for
several times. Since Carmen is not satisfied yet with her torments, she then takes a knife and presses the point of the knife strongly into Clare’s wrist. Besides,
Carmen also pulls the knife across Clare’s arm Briscoe 70-73. However, nothing is able to make Clare surrender. Since she is a tough girl, Clare then goes down to
the toilet to wrap her arm around with some toilet roll. She then goes back to the kitchen again and manages to finish the hairs’ plucking.
Another physical abuse is again done by Carmen. On Clare’s brother’s birthday, Carmen buys him a plane that is remote controlled. They are playing
with the plane in the front room as Carmen shows him how to use it. When Clare enters the room, her mother consciously flies the plane in Clare’s direction. The
plane slices Clare’s left check. Her mother does this action for several times. As I entered the room, my mother deliberately flew it in my direction, it
sliced my left cheek as it zoomed past. The plane turned, flying back towards my mother, then turned again in my direction. My mother lowered
it as it approached me. Again it sliced my left cheek. Blood poured from the wounds Briscoe 86.
Gaining a new father only brings further sorrow for Clare since Eastman,
her stepfather, is an abuser as well. It is usual for him to beat Clare by punching and hitting Clare with his belt. They are accustomed to struggle in a fight. One
day, Eastman and Clare have a particularly bad fight. They are both close to the window on the ground floor. As they struggle, he catches Clare’s chin and pushes
her head trough the glass. Clare is dazed and is busy brushing the glass out of her hair when specks of blood bubble up on her hand Briscoe 133.
It is doubtless that Carmen abuses her daughter both emotionally and physically. Moreover, Eastman’s coming to the family just worsens the situation
since he also used to beat Clare. Maslow states that the needs for security, stability, protection, order, and freedom from fear, anxiety and physical violence
are included in the safety needs. When his life is in danger, man will consider other higher needs as unimportant. He will seek for security and protection from
the things that are considered as harmful qtd. in Goble 39-40. In this case, her needs of safety become Clare’s reason to struggle. Clare then struggles to seek for
freedom from fear, anxiety, and physical violence. Clare really lacks of affection and love. Her father, George, never gives
enough affection to the family, even for his daughters and sons. He is so busy to take care of his properties that he never provides time for his children. Most of the
time, George comes home only at Christmas with presents for his children. Those are the only things he gives to his children. Unlike other families, they never
spend times together even on Christmas day. George is getting busy moving
around his houses. All he can do is just turning up at Christmas with presents in his hand, and then leaves the house again. “Our dad threw the final presents into
the hall. ‘Merry Christmas, children’, he said as he turned to go back to his car” Briscoe 59.
Besides her father, Clare’s sisters also fail to provide affection and love for her little daughter. Clare has two elder sisters who are supposed to look after her
or at least help her when Clare finds difficulties. In fact, her sisters, Pauline and Patsy, never do. They choose to remain silent, pretending that nothing happens.
Sisters who should take care of and protect their little sister decide to be ignorant. They tend to be hiding when Clare is beaten by her mother, like for example when
Clare asks her mother’s permission to go to a church disco. Instead of giving the permission, Carmen asks Care to clean the house. Realizing that their mother is
getting angry, Pauline and Patsy creep to the top landing of the house. They are always hiding there and listening to the conversation that happens between Clare
and their mother. They never become sisters that Clare wishes to have, sisters who can do more than just hiding and listening to the conversation. They never try to
be good sisters who defend their younger sister when she is in danger. They never give their true love to Clare.
The house made me sick. My mother made me sick. My sisters just made me hate them. But they were young; maybe they could do more, say more
and be around more, but they wanted to remain on good terms with my mother. Who could blame them?Briscoe 180.
Clare’s asking for permission brings anger to her mother. She then starts to
torment Clare again. Carmen beats Clare’s left arm using split-spit stick. Besides, she also scoops Clare’s breasts and digs her nails into Clare’s nipple. At that
moment, Pauline and Patsy are already hiding in their bedroom. When the torment finishes and Carmen is gone already, Pauline shows up and then asks about
Clare’s condition. Unfortunately, Carmen comes to see Clare again and at once her sister retreats into her bedroom. “We knew it was my mother on the first half
landing. As I turned round to face my sister, her head disappeared and her bedroom door shut” Briscoe 188. Once again, Clare’s sisters show their
ignorance. They prefer hiding and remaining silent to helping Clare. It is obvious that Clare is never able to gain real affection and love from
her family. Her father, George, abandons the family after winning the second Littlewoods Pools. He is so busy moving around his houses that he never be able
to provide enough time for his children. Moreover, Clare’s sisters who are supposed to look after their little sister tend to be hiding and remaining silent
whenever Clare is beaten by her mother. These needs of love become other causes of Clare’s struggle. Maslow in Goble 40-41 states that these needs of
belongingness and love emerge primarily when the physiological and safety needs have been met. People satisfy their love needs by establishing an intimate and
caring relationship with another person, or with people in general. Moreover, this relationship is just as important to give love as to receive it.
Carmen rejects Clare as her daughter since she is ugly. One occasion when Carmen has a look at Clare’s photograph, she directly states how ugly Clare is.
Besides, Carmen also protests how she can give birth to such ugly girl. ‘Jesus Christ, me give birth to that?’ She stared from the photograph to
me. ‘Lord, sweet Lord, how come she so ugly? Ugly. Ugly. If I hadn’t given birth to her, sweet Lord, I would have sworn she was a fraud.
Heavenly Jesus, sweet and kind, why have You given me a swine? Look at
that nose, where did you get it from? Not from me,’ said my mother answering her own question. ‘If I had a nose like that I would cut off half
and save the rest’ Briscoe 67. Another occasion when Carmen visits Clare to ask for the rent, she points
out that the biggest regret in her life is to give birth to Clare. She also complains on how a mother can take an ugly daughter who wets the bed and is bald as well.
‘Not only are you ugly and wet the bed, you’re bald as well. Just how much can a mother take?’ Briscoe 366. It shows that Carmen does not recognize and accept
Clare as her daughter. Clare’s esteem needs, especially esteem from others cause Clare to fight
her horrible life. Maslow as quoted in Goble 42 distinguishes two types of esteem needs; self-respect and esteem from others. Self-esteem includes such
needs as desire for confidence, competence, mastery, adequacy, achievement, independence, and freedom. While, externally derived esteem can be based on
recognition, acceptance, attention, reputation, appreciation, admiration, status, fame, prestige, or social success, all characteristics of how others think of us and
react to us. In this case, Clare wants to gain respect from others. She also wishes to get recognition and acceptance from her mother. Those are the reasons why
Clare struggles in her life. It is obvious that her family condition which is far from perfect and is full
of lack becomes Clare’s reason to struggle. Her home life which is terrible leads Clare to the stage of human basic needs’ deficiency. However, she has a strong
desire to have a better life. That is why Clare wants to struggle and fulfill her basic needs.
b. Her Dreams
