Winnie and Pearl’s Relationship and the Differences between Their
43 their differences. Winnie’s past life represents most Chinese people ways of living
at that time though the old customs and traditions are still done nowadays. Winnie who was raised by her uncle and aunties does not understand the
actual parents-children relationship. Winnie lost her mother when she was still a child. She lost the figure of a mother, who is actually very important in the child’s
character development later. A daughter’s identification with her mother is important for her mental and moral development. A mother, in fact, plays a role as
the source of identification of her daughter, who la ter will develop her mental and moral according to her perceptive toward her mother. Winnie who was raised
mainly by traditional Chinese culture without having a mother to teach her many things often has conflicts with her daughter, Pearl. This unharmonious connection
later affects their mother-daughter relationship. Pearl was raised in the United States and is married to a non-Chinese man,
thus American culture runs strongly in her blood. It influences Pearl’s way of thinking and behaving. Losing her father in her teenage years makes Pearl become
more dependent on Winnie. Nevertheless, being brought up in American ways for some years makes Pearl sometimes involved in some disagreements with her
mother. Pearl’s way of thinking, which is basically influenced by Americans’, is sometimes in contradiction with Winnie’s way of thinking, which is strongly
affected by traditional Chinese’s. Due to the differences of their cultural backgrounds, their mother-daughter relationship gets into some troubles.
The novel starts with Pearl’s thought of the way her mother talks to her. The author shows the reader that from the beginning that their mother-daughter
relationship is not in harmony. Communication between them is not as good as it PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
44 is supposed to be. Later the author reveals that Pearl does not enjoy spending time
with Winnie indeed that she often tries to find an excuse not to meet her mother. When they are together, the situation feels so uncomfortable that Pearl tries to
avoid it many times. They very seldom talk to each other. They are afraid of making mistakes which will destruct their relationship more. The way they often
evade each other make them feel like strangers who do not know each other well. Whenever my mother talks to me, she begins the conversation as if we
were already in the middle of an argument 3. ”Next week?” I said, searching for excuses. “It’s kind of late notice to
change our plans. We’re supposed to—” 4. Whenever I’m with my mother, I feel as though I have to spend the whole
time avoiding land mines 9. That is how she is. That is how I am. Always careful to be polite, always
trying not to bump into each other, just like strangers 95. Apparently there’s a lot I don’t know about my mother and Auntie Helen
53.
Pearl feels uncomfortable to be around Winnie for some time. She is likely to stay in a hotel than to stay during the ’dreaded weekend’ in her mother’s house.
Pearl and Phil try to make an excuse to avoid staying with Winnie, but in the end, they are forced to stay at Winnie’s house.
The day before, we had had a polite argument with my mother over where we would stay. “That’s very kind of you, Winnie,” Phil reasoned my
mother over the phone. “But we’ve already made reservations at a hotel.” I listened on the other line, glad that I had suggested he call and make the
excuses. “What hotel?” my mother asked. “The Travelodge,” Phil lied. We were actually booked at the Hyatt. “Ai, too much money” my mother
concluded. “Why waste money that way? You can stay at my house, plenty of rooms.” And Phil had declined gracefully. “No, no, really. It’s
too much trouble. Really.” ”Trouble for who?” my mother said. So now Phil is getting the girls settled in the room that once belonged to my
younger brother 10. The communication between them is so bad, until sometime they have
misunderstandings. One of them occurs when Pearl tries to help her mother by PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
45 suggesting her that the best way of stopping the issue which is bothering her is to
stop complaining and take some action to deal with it. American people are accustomed to speak frankly and do not want to be bothered by small unnecessary
things. If they do not like to do something, they will stop doing it and tell the reasons honestly. Whereas for the Chinese, they had better hide their actual
feelings and pretend that everything is fine and continue doing things that they do not like. Pearl has a good intention for her mother; she wants to help her to
overcome her problem that makes her life miserable. However, Winnie misunderstands her intention and later does not speak to Pearl for about two
months. I said, “Why don’t you just tell Auntie Helen what’s bothering you and
stop complaining?” This was what Phil had suggested I say, a perfectly reasonable way to get my mother to realize what was making her
miserable so she could finally take positive action. But when I said that, my mother looked at me with a blank face and absolute silence. And after
that, she did stop complaining to me. In fact, she stopped talking to me for about two months 6.
Winnie has a tendency to make Pearl feels unhappy and loses her self
esteem. When Pearl gets a job, Winnie makes her think that the job’s position is not very significant.
Three months ago, I took a position as a speech and language clinician with the local school district. And while I was basically happy with the
job, I secretly worried that I had missed a better opportunity. My mother put those thoughts in my head. Right after I announced I had been chosen
over two other candidates for the same position, she said, “Two? Only two people wanted that job?” 8.
Pearl and Winnie’s relationship is not close. Pearl feels that she cannot be
honest and open to Winnie. She also worries that when Winnie knows the secret about her disease, she will get angry with her. She does not mean to hide it from
46 Winnie, but every time she tries to tell her mother, Winnie keeps talking about
something else which is not related to her condition at that time. That delicate balance always threatens to go out of kilter when I see my
mother. Because that’s when it hits me hardest: I have this terrible disease and I’ve never told her. I meant to tell her. There were several times when
I planned to do exactly that. When I was first diagnosed, I said, “Ma, you know that slight problem with my leg I told you about. Well, thank God, it
turned out not to be cancer, but—“ And right away, she told me about a customer of hers who had just died of cancer, how long he had suffered,
how many wreaths the family had ordered 25-26. Pearl’s bad relations hip with Winnie is a regret for Pearl too. Actually, she
does not want their relationship to be this far. She wants to get close to Winnie. She wants to run away from all of those meaningless gestures, old
misunderstandings, and painful secrets that they have. I think of the enormous distance that separates us and makes us unable to
share the most important matters of our life. How did this happen? And suddenly everything—the flower arrangements on the plastic-topped
tables, my mother memories of my childhood, the whole family— everything feels like a sham, and also sad and true. All these meaningless
gestures, old misunderstandings, and painful secrets, why do we keep them up? I feel as if I were suffocating, and want to run away 33.
Pearl believes in logical thinking as one of the characteristics of the
Americans. Winnie, on the other hand, believes in superstitions as part of Chinese society. Winnie’s belief in illogical beings makes her cannot accept Jimmy’s
death. She believes that every bad thing has some reason behind its occurrence and thus can be prevented. Winnie’s belief sometimes drives Pearl crazy. It is
worthless to convince Winnie about thinking logically because Winnie puts no faith in other people’s logic. That is the reason why Pearl thinks that it is useless
to talk to Winnie. Her mother will never understand her and her illness. However, PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
47 as time goes by, the secret that Pearl keeps makes her feel guilty toward her
mother. To this day it drives me crazy, listening to her various hypotheses, the way
religion, medicine, and superstition all merge with her own beliefs. She puts no faith in other people’s logic—to her, logic is a sneaky excuse for
tragedies, mistakes, and accidents. And according to my mother, nothing is an accident. She’s like a Chinese version of Freud, or worse. Everything
has a reason. Everything could have been prevented 27. So I never told my mother. At first I didn’t want to hear her theories on
my illness, what caused this to happen, how she could have done this or that to prevent it. I did not want her to remind me 28.
And now that so much time has gone by, the fact that I still haven’t told her makes my illness seem ten times worse. I am always reminded,
whenever I see her, whenever I hear her voice 28. The reason why Pearl hides her sickness is because of her miscarriage
back then. When Pearl’s first pregnancy ends in a miscarriage, Winnie keeps blaming the situation that makes the incident happen and delivers a long speech to
Pearl of how it should be prevented. Subsequently, at her second time, Pearl hides her pregnancy until she is sure about it. However, she accidentally tells Mary who
then tells Helen. The fact that Helen knows the secret, not Winnie, Pearl’s own mother; makes Pearl forced to hear Winnie’s never-ending lament.
My first pregnancy had ended in a miscarriage early on, and my mother had gone and on, about how much coffee I drank, how it was my jogging
that did it, how Phil should make sure I ate more. So when I became pregnant again, I decided to wait, to tell my mother when I was in my
fourth month or so. But in the third month, I made the mistake of confiding in Mary. And Mary slipped this news to her mother. And Auntie
Helen didn’t exactly tell my mother. But when my mother proudly announced my pregnancy to the Kwongs, Auntie Helen immediately
showed my mother the little yellow sweater she had already hand knit for the baby. I didn’t stop hearing the laments from my mother, even after
Tessa was born. “Why could you tell the Kwongs, not your own mo ther?” she’d complain 29.
And so I dreaded the day my mother would call and ask me a hundred different ways, “Why did Auntie Helen know? Why did you never tell
me? Why didn’t you let me prevent this from happening to you?” And then what answer could I give? 30.
48 Those are the reasons why Pearl cannot open her secret to her mother.
Besides those facts, she also does not want her mother to worry about or get angry with her. Helen makes her believe that it is normal for a mother to worry about her
daughter. ”Why should I tell her now? She’ll only be angry that we kept it a secret.”
She frowns. “You are only concerned your mother will be angry with you? Tst Tst So selfish.” “No, I mean, there’s no reason to tell her now. I’m
fine.” “You think you can hide this until she dies? Maybe she lives to be a hundred. Then what do you do, ah?” “It’s not that. I just don’t want her to
worry.” “This is her right to worry,” says Auntie Helen. “She is your mother.” 37.
In fact, Winnie loves Pearl very much. She cares for Pearl, but she never
shows her affection. Her attention to Pearl and Phil before they go to sleep at the night they are staying at Winnie’s house signifies her love for them. Winnie keeps
asking whether they already feel comfortable because she wants to make sure that Pearl and Phil have a nice rest and feel relaxed in her house. Even though her
attention makes Pearl feel a little irritated, Pearl still feels an affection for her mother which is reflected in her gently voice answering her mother questions.
”Enough blankets, enough towels?” “Plenty,” he says. He rolls his eyes at me. “Good night” he calls, and turns off the light. It is quiet for about five
seconds. “Too cold? Heater can be turned up.” “Ma, we’re fine,” I say with a little too much irritation. And then I say, more gently this time,
“Don’t worry. Go to bed.” I hold my breath. There is only silence. And finally, I hear her slippers slowly padding down the hallway, each soft
shuffle breaking my heart 38. Even though Winnie loves and cares about Pearl very much, Pearl cannot
feel her mother love in her childhood. Pearl feels much closer to his father rather than to Winnie. She keeps thinking that Winnie does not like her and feels
annoyed every time she looks at Pearl. The closeness Pearl feels for her father is PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
49 because he is an American who knows Pearl well and raises Pearl in American
way. And in my father’s eyes, I had been perfect, his “perfect Pearl,” and not the irritation I always seemed to be with my mother 48.
Pearl also believes that Winnie loves Samuel, her younger brother, more than her. She does not believe that her mother actually loves her even more than
Samuel and Winnie’s other children. She does not realize that her mother actually loves her in ways she could never tell. In their relationship, Winnie also scares of
knowing Pearl’s reaction towards all the secrets she keeps all this time, since they do not fully trust each other. They tend to get scared of one’s reaction towards
another, which is in fact unnecessary, for the reality is not always as bad as what they think.
I have tried to think how I could tell my daughter. But every time I begin, I can hear her voice, so much hurt, “I knew it. You always loved Samuel
more.” So she would never believe me. But maybe if I told her, This is not true. I loved you the most, more than Samuel, more than all the children I
had before you. I would tell her, I loved you in ways you never saw. And maybe you do not believe this. But I know this is true, feel my heart.
Because you broke my heart the hardest, and maybe I broke yours the same way 99-100.
Pearl loves her mother in such a way that she cannot explain. When her
mother calls and asks her to come immediately because she feels some pain in her heart, Pearl gets so worried and tries to get Winnie to the doctor to make sure that
Winnie is fine. First I told my daughter I no longer had a pain in my heart, the reason why
I said she had to come right away. She still had a big worried look on her face. “Maybe we should take you to the doctor anyway. Just to make
sure.” 101. In the middle of the novel, the story changes to Winnie’s point of view
about her mother-daughter relationship with Pearl. Being raised in Chinese PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
50 culture, Winnie is not accustomed to deal with Pearl who was raised in American
way. Pearl also has lots of contradictions with Winnie’s Chinese customs. Winnie’s relationship with Pearl is full with conflicts. They often argue
and fight about many different things. American children feel free to express their feelings toward their parents. If they do not like something, they will say it
honestly. Winnie who was brought up in the society where parents’ words are orders for their children sometimes does not agree with Pearl’s behavior. This
condition later causes numerous disagreements and conflicts. I went into Pearl’s room. So many hurts and fights in this room 93.
Winnie’s and Pearl’s ways of raising their daughter are also different. Pearl feels proud when her first daughter delivers full sentences to Winnie, while
Winnie feels that asking too many questions to older people is considered impolite in Chinese culture.
“Isn’t it amazing?” Pearl said. “She already speaks in complete sentences. Most kids her age use only two phrases. She’s really smart.” And I said,
“What good is it to have her be this kind of smart? You should teach her manners, not too ask too much, same way I taught you.” 95.
Winnie was raised by her uncle and aunties. She does not feel fully
accepted in that family, for they are very strict on her. They do not show any affection or love to her unlike Winnie’s mother. Winnie was spoiled by her
mother and she also does the same thing to Pearl. Nevertheless, when she lives with her uncle and aunties, she learns not to be spoiled again and expect too much.
They are not mean to Winnie, but they do not love her the way they do to their own children. The way Winnie’s mother cares for her makes Winnie gains a pure
kind of trust toward her mother. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
51 I could do this with my mother, complain and demand things. She was not
strict with me, not the way some mothers can be… So you see, although I knew my mother only a short time, I learned this from her, a pure kind of
trust 106. So you see, I never felt I belonged to that family 134.
From that family, I learned to expect nothing, to want so much 135. Mother is the first teacher of a child. From her mother, Winnie learns to
listen to the sound of the morning, to do an embroidery stitch, and to count her fingers and toes. Winnie tries to teach Pearl too but Pearl insists that the lesson is
too complicated and refuses to learn. Americans have a tendency to do things in a simple way. They do not want to waste their time by doing lots of complicated
things. I could hear the sounds of the morning. My mother was the one who
taught me to listen 107. Afterward, my mother showed me how to do an embroidery stitch, one
she said she had invented herself 113. She gave me another lesson, how to count my fingers and toes 114.
I learned all those lessons for my future. Oh, I tried to teach you these same things when you were growing up. But you never listened. You said,
“It’s boring. Too much trouble. I’d rather eat McDonald hamburgers instead.” 137.
Winnie and Pearl are not completely different in their characteristics. They
also share some common characters which confirm the fact that mother plays a role as the source of identification of her daughter in the sense that a daughter
tends to follow her mother’s character. Why are you laughing? You thought your mother was always behaved?
You thought I did not know how to be naughty in a secret way? How else did I know you were being naughty? Like that time you hid that dirty
book, Catch Her in the Ride. I knew you were not reading the Bible. I did the same thing at that age, hid a book in my mending basket 141.
I had a good heart, just like you. I was innocent, just like you 159. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
52 Winnie loves Pearl in the same way with her mother’s to her. Winnie’s
mother usually called Winnie syin ke. It is a name given by mothers to their beloved babies. Later, Winnie also calls Pearl with that nickname.
But instead she patted my head. “syin ke,” she said, “you’re already so big.” She always called me syin ke, a nickname, two words that mean
“heart liver,” the part of the body that looks like a tiny heart. In English, you call it gizzard, not very good-sounding. But in Chinese, syin ke
sounds beautiful, and it is what mothers call their babies if they love them very, very much. I used to call you that. You didn’t know?” 109.
When Pearl is still young, she finds herself as a truly American who has
full freedom and independence in her life. She tends to disobey her mother’s advices and thinks individually. On the contrary, Winnie as a Chinese woman,
views the individual and independent way of life is not suitable for her daughter. They once again face a conflict because of their distinctive point of views. In
China back then, you were always responsible to somebody else. It’s not like here in United States- freedom, independence, individual thinking, do what you want,
disobey your mother. No such thing. 162. Winnie and Pearl have their own reasons for hiding their secrets for a long
time. Winnie keeps her secret because she does not want to let Pearl think that she is a weak and bad mother. Winnie loves Pearl very much and thus does not want
Pearl to avoid and hate her. “Tell me again,” I finally said, “why you had to keep it a secret.” She
looked away, considered the question. “Because then you would know,” she said at last. “You would know how weak I was. You would think I
was a bad mother.” 510. After Winnie reveals her secret about her past life, their relationship
becomes closer. They start to feel comfortable with one another. They begin to think that there is no use of hiding secrets. That is why Pearl finally finds the
53 courage to tell her mother about the secret she keeps all this time. There is a sense
of trust between them which starts to grow; the kind of faith that makes them love each other no matter what happens.
And we started laughing again I was giddy. Here my mother had told me the tragedy of her life. Here I had just been told that Wen Fu might well
be the other half of my genetic makeup. Yet we were laughing. And that’s how I knew it was the right moment to tell her. I took a deep breath and
said it as casually as I could: “Maybe we have something else we can blame on that bad man.” And then I told her about my illness.” 514.
”And now you are closer, mother and daughter, I can already see this.” 524.
The time Pearl reveals her secret, she feels scared of her mother’s anger. In
reality, Winnie is more than angry. Nonetheless, she even feels touched by Winnie’s reaction. She eventually understands that her mother’s anger and
obsessive attention toward her illness prove that Winnie loves and cares her very much. Their relationship now begins to grow in harmony and leads to the hope of
a better life. I had imagined all this, and I was wrong. It was worse. She was the Furies
unbound 514. I was going to protest, to tell her she was working herself up into a frenzy
for nothing. But all of a sudden I realized: I didn’t want her to stop. I was relieved in a strange way. Or perhaps relief was not the feeling. Because
the pain was still there. She was tearing it away—my protective shell, my anger, my deepest fears, my despair. She was putting all this into her own
heart, so that I could finally see what was left. Hope 515. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
54