Seeking Similarity and Support

4.1.3 The Developments of Their Friendship

People may become close friends if they have commitments to develop their friendship. This aspect can only be realized in gradual stages. Duck 64-85 proposes the stages of the developments of friendship, namely seeking similarity and support, increasing intimacy, and showing that the friendship is growing. This section analyzes the development of the friendship between Bruno and Shmuel. In the novel, the friendship between Bruno and Shmuel is unique as it involves two individuals with completely different backgrounds and characteristics. Shmuel is a Jewish boy while Bruno is a son of a Nazi German officer. According to the doctrine of Nazism created by Hitler, Jews was considered as a parasitic race. They were the cause of all Germany’s defeats and misfortunes. Therefore, German people were supposed to hate Jewish and other minor races Hitler 391-394. We can see the result of this belief in the novel. Bruno and Shmuel have to conceal their friendship from anybody including their family if they hope to keep their relationship safely. However, their friendship reflects the characteristics of the stages of developments of friendship as proposed by Duck.

4.1.3.1 Seeking Similarity and Support

The first stage of development of friendship based on Duck’s theory is seeking similarity and support. It happens after two strangers get acquainted. The main need of persons who are beginning acquaintance is for information about each other. They try to find similarities that may become the foundation of their friendship. It can be similarity of backgrounds, interests or other general information 64-70. As what Byrne qtd in Duck 67 states that the more similar two people’s attitudes, the more they like one another because they may find something that they can enjoy together. In the novel, Bruno and Shmuel go through this stage of development by seeking information about each other. They try to reveal information about their partner. It can be seen from the way they ask each other about their personal backgrounds such as where they live and come from Boyne 108. In doing this, they also try to find similarities between them. For example, they finally find a similarity when Bruno asks Shmuel how old he is, Shmuel answers that he is nine years old and has the same birthday as Bruno. “I suppose I am. How old are you?” he asked. Shmuel thought about it and looked down at his fingers and they wiggled in the air, as if he was trying to calculate. “I’m nine,” he said, “My birthday is April the fifteenth nineteen thirty-four.” Bruno stared at him in surprise. “What did you say?” he asked. “I said my birthday is April the fifteenth nineteen thirty-four.” Bruno’s eyes opened wide and his mouth made the shape of an O. “I don’t believe it,” he said. “Why not?” asked Shmuel. “No,” said Bruno, shaking his head quickly. “I don’t mean I don’t believe you. I mean I’m surprised, that’s all. Because my birthday is April the fifteenth too. And I was born in nineteen thirty-four. We were born on the same day.” Shmuel thought about this. “So you’re nine too,” he said. “Yes. Isn’t that strange?” “Very strange,” said Shmuel. “Because there may be dozens of Shmuels on this side of the fence but I don’t think that I’ve ever met anyone with the same birthday as me before.” “We’re like twins,” said Bruno. “A little bit,” agreed Shmuel. Bruno felt very happy all of a sudden. A picture came into his head of Karl and Daniel and Martin, his three best friends for life, and he remembered how much fun they used to have together back in Berlin and he realized how lonely he had been at Out-With Boyne 110. Bruno’s happiness may come from the fact that they finally have a similarity. Also, Shmuel reminds him of his best friends in Berlin. Realizing this fact allows Bruno to think that there are possibilities of building a good friendship with Shmuel. Bruno’s happiness when finding similarity with Shmuel can also be seen when Shmuel tells Bruno why he arrives in Out-With camp. Bruno is delighted to know that Shmuel also moves there because of other persons’ orders and not for his own wish Boyne 128. All of these efforts in obtaining general information are indicators that both friends are in the first stage of development. It helps someone to know whether his friend likes him or not, and whether the friend have similarities and supports that are needed and may be enjoyed by both of them. As stated by Duck, the difficulty in seeking similarity and support lies in opening up the partner about their interest and supports. It requires skills and patience 67. Here, we can see that Bruno is less capable of doing this rather than Shmuel. When Shmuel tells his stories, Bruno compares them with his own experiences and does not understand why Shmuel looks very sad about it. Bruno never realizes that Shmuel tells him sad stories of his old life until he retells Shmuel’s stories to his sister. Bruno got to the end of his sentence and realized that his voice had gone very quiet. These were things that Shmuel had told him, but for some reason he hadn’t really understood at the time how sad that must have made his friend. When Bruno said them out loud himself he felt terrible that he hadn’t tried to say anything to cheer Shmuel up and instead had started talking about something silly, like exploring. I’ll say sorry for that tomorrow, he told himself Boyne 158. Bruno admits that he has been insensitive towards Shmuel. From that time, Bruno promises himself to treat Shmuel more nicely. His changes of behaviours can be seen from his more sympathetic ways of smuggling more food to Shmuel and being a good listener to his stories Boyne 193. In this case, Shmuel shows patience and tolerance towards Bruno’s speeches and attitudes. We can see the example from his being just silent when Bruno says that Germany is far superior to Shmuel’s country, Poland Boyne 112 and when Bruno misunderstands what Shmuel tells about his sad experiences Boyne 127-130. In summary, despite the difficulties they face when trying to get general information about each other, Bruno and Shmuel can successfully pas through this first stage of development in seeking similarity and support. We can see that their efforts are enhanced by their tolerance and patience in having conversations. As their conversations become more intimate, they decide to develop their friendship into the higher level stage of development, which is increasing intimacy.

4.1.3.2 Increasing Intimacy