When two strangers meet, the potential relationship may happen only if the introduction goes well. Bruno and Shmuel know that a good impression and proper
introduction is very important to attract one’s interests towards the other. From the conversation, it can be concluded that they try to make a good impression and
proper introduction by saying and praising each other’s name. As a result, it creates comfortable atmosphere between them to continue their conversations.
One of the signs that someone is a true friend is when he cares about you and help you when you are in need. In the novel, Bruno and Shmuel show this
aspect by supporting each other in their agreements towards something. For example, When Shmuel admits that Lieutenant Kotler scares him, Bruno agrees
with him by saying that he thinks that Lieutenant Kotler is not a good soldier at all Boyne 140. Bruno also shows his care for Shmuel by smuggling food out of his
home to give to Shmuel Boyne 193 and offering help to Shmuel when he cannot find his father Boyne 198. Support and care give a big influence towards
friendship. When one is supported and comforted by his friend, he will feel that he is appreciated and accepted. This feeling creates a sense of belonging, which is
important in maintaining a friendship.
4.2.3 Engaging in Relationship Talk
Beebe 336-338 states the third way to maintain a friendship is engaging a friend in relationship talk. Relationship talk is talk about the nature, quality,
direction, or definition of a relationship. However, this kind of conversation is usually considered inappropriate in the early stages of relationship since it involves
willingness and closeness between friends in order to evaluate their friendship well.
Here, we can see that Bruno and Shmuel maintain their friendship through engaging in relationship talk after they have been friends for almost a year. At that
time, they start to discuss about their condition of their friendship and their thoughts and feelings about it.
One day, while sitting opposite him at their usual place, Bruno remarked, “This is the strangest friendship I’ve ever had.”
“Why?” asked Shmuel. “Because every other boy I’ve ever been friends with has been someone that
I’ve been able to play with,” he replied. “And we never get to play together. All we get to do is sit here and talk.”
“I like sitting here and talking,” said Shmuel. “Well, I do too of course,” said Bruno. “But it’s a pity we can’t do
something more exciting from time to time. A bit of exploring, perhaps. Or a game of football. We’ve never even seen each other without all this wire
fencing in the way.” Boyne 179
From their speeches, it can be seen that they convey their feelings about the conditions and nature of their friendship. They also implicitly states what will
happen to their friendship in the future, whether they still want to continue it at that level or get closer by doing more various activities. Willingness to talk about their
relationship is one way to express their interest and commitment to maintain their friendship. That is why relationship talk is an important part of maintaining the
relationship.
4.2.4 Being Tolerant and Showing Restraint
As suggested by Beebe 336-338, one of the ways to maintain a friendship is being tolerant and showing restraint. In the novel, we can see that Bruno and
Shmuel apply these efforts. For example, Shmuel shows his tolerance to Bruno by being patient towards his insensitiveness, such as when Shmuel tells Bruno his sad
stories of his old life Boyne 128-129. When Bruno boasts about how powerful Germany if compared to Poland, Shmuel just keeps silent Boyne 112. At another
time, Bruno also shows some efforts in being tolerant and showing restraint to Shmuel, like what happens when they share their opinions about soldiers.
“There aren’t any good soldiers,” said Shmuel. “Of course there are,” said Bruno.
“Who?” “Well, Father, of course,” said Bruno. “That is why he has such an
impressive uniform and why everyone calls him Commandant and does whatever he says. The Fury has big things in mind for him because he’s
such a good soldier.” “There aren’t any good soldiers,” repeated Shmuel.
“Except Father,” repeated Bruno, who was hoping that Shmuel wouldn’t say that again because he didn’t want to have to argue with him. After all,
he was the only friend he had here at Out-With. But Father was Father, and Bruno didn’t think it was right for someone to say something bad about
him. Both boys stayed very quiet for a few minutes, neither one wanting to say
anything he might regret Boyne 140.
Here, both of them show their restraint by not saying anything after they argue about something. They do not want to make their dispute gets worse. Instead, they
realize that giving suitable pause can lower their tense and keep the atmosphere of their friendship stable.
One must learn to accept his friends for what they are. When friends lose tolerance, they begin focusing on and criticizing what they used to accept. Then the
friendship begins to get worse. In this case, showing restraint plays important roles as it helps friends to control themselves whenever they have disagreement towards
something. When friends are able to do that, their relationship can grow stronger. That is why maintaining friendship requires tolerance and restraint.
4.2.5 Managing Conflict Cooperatively
