daughter, she is the one that is considered as a bad mother by her daughter. Therefore, Chinese women experience the cruel tradition of feet bound when she is a
little girl and then she does the same practice to her daughter. It is like a suffering that keep continues from generation to generation. This footbinding is like an
obligation that women should do in their lives if they want to live in Chinese society which means that their sufferings never stop. Women do not have another option
because as being a part of society, they should follow the existed rule in that society. Women were freed from footbinding when this practice of footbinding was legally
banned at the beginning of the twentieth century. Footbinding was not only used to measure the beauty but also as the symbol
of social status. As Wang Ping states, “For upper-class women, footbinding was the marker of their hierarchy. For girls from the lower class, footbinding gave them an
opportunity to move upward in the marriage and service market.” Ping, 2000: 32. Because in Chinese patriarchal culture women were degraded, it made women feel
worthless in society. To show that they were valuable women, women had to raise their status by doing footbinding not only for upper-class women but also the lower-
class. For lower-class women, it was a great chance to earn their social status. They
would have an opportunity to get married with a rich family that meant it would change their life in terms of economy and social. Parents from rich family would
look for women who had a perfectly pair of tiny feet as their daughter-in-law. As experienced by Lily that also has to follow the tradition of foot binding “In one
instant I had changed from being a worthless girl into someone who might be useful to the family” See, 2005: 23.
By having a pair of tiny feet, women will show that they are also valuable. They want to prove their status as a valuable woman.
My small feet would be offered as proof to my prospective in-laws of my personal discipline and my ability to endure the pain of childbirth,
as well as whatever misfortunes might lie ahead. My small feet would show the world my obedience to my natal family, particularly to my
mother, which would also make a good impression on my future mother-in-law. See, 2005: 34
By the existence of the practice of footbinding in Chinese society, the goal of Confucian society-Chinese patriarchal culture to control women by making women
just stay at home could be realized. As stated by Du Fangqin, “Footbinding was one of men’s conspiracies to keep women home as slaves physically and mentally, to turn
them into sheer objects of men’s lust and perversity.” Fangqin in Ping, 2000: 43. By doing the practice of footbinding, women would experience physical constraints.
With the change of the size of the feet, women would find difficulty to walk because the feet and their body became unbalanced - tiny feet had to bear a big body. Because
of the size of the feet and the body was not balanced, it made them feel sick quickly when standing or walking for long time and even doing hard physical activities. Due
to the reason of physical constraints, women were placed in the home. Women only needed to be at home and take care of domestic activities. The effect of Confucianism
doctrine for Chinese culture clearly divided the role of men and women especially in PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
a household. The area for women was in home. Even a place for women to gather together with other women was in home, the upstairs women’s chamber.
Whether you are rich or poor, emperor or slave, the domestic sphere is for women and the outside sphere is for men. Women should not pass
beyond the inner chambers in their thoughts or in their actions. See, 2005: 24
Because of this division of labor in the household, at the young age, Lily has been placed at women’s chamber so she can see directly what she should do as a
woman. At women’s chamber, Lily lives with the other members of family which are the older women – mother, sisters, aunts, and other relatives. By seeing directly
the activities of the older women, she can take a conclusion that she just need to take care of the household. She is directed to think that house will be a place that she
belongs to and she needs to take care of it. As a housewife later, she is required to be a good housewife that is good to take care of the all household chores such as
cooking, doing the laundry, doing the ironing, cleaning the house, and taking care of the children and the family members. Lily knows exactly the role of the women in
the family from her mother. Her mother tries hard to be a good housewife and always careful to act in front of her husband in order to make her husband satisfy
and be kind to her. “He rarely hit my mother and he never took a concubine, but her caution with him made us all heedful” See, 2005: 12.
That kind of pressure in the society that regulates what women have to do in order to make them survive in the society makes women do not have another choice
but to accept that reality. As Lily’s mother affirms “I don’t like the girls wandering around the village when they should be working at their house learning” See, 2005:
33. Therefore, Lily also has to learn about the duties to be a woman and the important thing to be a good housewife so her future husband will treat her well and
it also prevents the possibility of domestic violence. Lily has to learn about household chores, practical arts – learning to sew, and learning nu shu a secret
writing of women.
2. Arranged marriage
Because women just stay at home and the area of women is at home, women do not have an opportunity to go outside the house to find their partner of life.
Unmarried women just leave the house for a few emergency exceptions
like attending funerals of family members and going to pray at the shrine. And they are
allowed out of the house because they leave the house with their families. For Chinese unmarried women, going out of their area that is home is extremely
forbidden. This is tantamount to violation of the rules that exist in the society if they leave the house. Therefore, women do not have any other choice but to do arranged
marriages. Tsai Wen-Hui in Leng Shao Chuan states that in traditional China, marriage was arranged by the parents and often through a mediator or go-between,
without the consent of the young people concerned Tsai in Leng Shao-chuan, 1989: PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
228. Women do not have the freedom to choose her husband. Marriage is a business arrangement. After getting married, women will live at the home of men’s family.
Women should obey the husband’s family, especially mother-in-law. “The girls would have all married out to distant villages, where they would be too busy with
their children and obeying their mothers-in-law to have time for old friendships” See, 2005: 13.
Lily gets married at the age of fifteen. She does not only prepare her physical condition but also her mental in dealing with her new life as a married woman.
However, there is a custom that complicates her. She does not have another option so she should obey the custom even though it tortures her.
I may have been brave and looking forward to my new life, but my body and soul were weak from hunger, because a bride is not allowed
to eat for the final ten days of her wedding festivities. Do we follow this custom to make us sadder at leaving our families, to make us more
yielding when we go to our husband’s homes, or to make us appear more pure to our husbands? How can I know the answer? All I know
is that Mama–like most mothers–hid a few hard-boiled eggs for me in the women’s chamber, but these did little to give me strength, and my
emotions weakened with each new event. See, 2005: 106
After Lily moves to her husband house, she tries very hard to be a good housewife. She obeys all of the rules of her husband house. Lily’s mother-in-law is
very strict with the rules. Lily does her duties as a housewife as well as possible so she will not get into trouble with her mother-in-law and her husband.
She watched over me as I did the same chores that I did in my natal home–making tea and breakfast, washing clothes and bedding,
preparing lunch, sewing, embroidering, and weaving in the afternoon, and finally cooking dinner. My mother-in-law ordered me about
freely. See, 2005: 140
Because Lily and Snow Flower have the differences in class, Lily turns into one of the members of an honorable family is forbidden for having laotong
relationship with Snow Flower – her friend for life by her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law wants Lily to stop meeting Snow Flower. Lily is very sad and angry
because laotong relationship supposed to last in their entire lives. Lily considers Snow Flower as a precious person in her life because Snow Flower is the only
person who she can talk to and share grievances. Lily’s husband is a busy person and he rarely speaks to her. Lily is also not close to her mother-in-law so she does not
have the courage to speak first to her mother-in-law even if to talk about her feelings or her sadness after getting married. Because of those circumstances, Lily needs
Snow Flower. Although Lily is prohibited to have laotong relationship with Snow Flower, Lily secretly keeps in touch with Snow Flower via nu shu–their secret
writing. They write nu shu texts on fans. With her bold act, I realized the true purpose of our secret writing. It
was not to compose girlish notes to each other or even to introduce us to the women in our husband’s families. It was to give us a voice. Our
nu shu was a means for our bound feet to carry us to each other, for our thoughts to fly across the fields as Snow Flower had written. The
men in our households never expected us to have anything important to say. They never expected us to have emotions or express creative
thoughts. The women–our mothers-in-law and the others–put up even greater blockades against us. But from here on out, I hoped Snow
Flower and I would be able to write the truth of our lives, whether we were together or apart. See, 2005: 160
Lily also ventures to leave the house and make arrangements to meet with Snow Flower.
But if I visited her against my mother-in-law’s wishes, I would be committing one of the worst crimes possible. Sneaking around to write
or read letters paled in comparison to this, but I had to do it if I wanted to see my laotong. See, 2005: 160
This shows that Lily is bold enough to see Snow Flower, her friend. Lily wants to do anything to meet her friend even though her action may harm her.
3. Domestic violence
Parshley states that Through marriage woman is now no longer lent from one clan to
another: she is torn up by the roots from the group into which she was born, and annexed by her husband’s group; he buys her as one buys a
farm animal or a slave; he imposes his domestic divinities upon her; and the children born to her belong to the husband’s family. Parshley,
1989: 82
In patriarchal culture, a woman is considered as a property. When she is in a family, she is the property of her father because the father is the one that give her
food, clothes, and place to sleep since her birth. The father is the one that ensure her life in terms of economy. Therefore, the father has power over her. The father can do
anything to her daughter even to sell her if the family has a bad economic condition. The father is free to decide the life of her daughter. When Snow Flower’s family
goes bankrupt, the life of Snow Flower’s family changes dramatically. Snow Flower, PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
who is still a child trying to survive facing her life. Their situation worsens when there is a famine due to crop failure. Snow Flower’s father is not ready to face
reality. Snow Flower’s father is a tobacco addict so he chooses to smoke his pipe and ends up neglecting his family. Their house is often visited by debt collectors.
Because of that bad economic situation, Snow Flower is almost sold by his father as a little daughter-in-law which is in Chinese society, a little daughter-in-law will be
treated worse than a servant. “He thought he would sell me.”
“Not as a servant” “Worse. As a little daughter-in-law.” See, 2005: 122.
Then, when a woman gets married, she becomes a property of the husband and she does not belong to the father anymore. It is because when a woman is
married, the husband gives a dowry to her family. That dowry is like a symbol of the husband that has bought the woman. The one that got the dowry is the woman’s
family. Therefore, since a wife is a property of the husband, the husband can do anything to her and treat her freely even do domestic violence. Snow Flower has to
experience domestic abused done by her husband. Having sons is a very difficult duty for women who live in Chinese patriarchal culture. A son is a very precious
child in a family because he will be a family successor. As May-Lee Chai and Winberg Chai states that “Girls were considered less valuable than boys, as girls
would marry and move away whereas boys would stay nearby and take care of their PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
