The Cultural Conflicts Experienced by Ruth Young

LuLing holds that system, her dictation over Ruth makes Ruth become so less superior. She cannot say her objection or disobey her mother, meanwhile she is living in the American societies where most of them respect the equality and freedom in family. “Ruth wished she could go back to being mute. She wanted to shout for her mother to stop complaining about things she could not change ” Tan, 2004: 64. Ruth wants to stop her mother for being so fussy but she cannot say it because she does not know how to react. She has a hesitation to speak out. “If Ruth obeyed, she was mortified. And if she didn’t, as she now recalled, even more dire consequences followed” 2004: 65. Whatever she does, her mother will never understand because of the differences in culture. Her mother cannot accept the American value that does not hold filial piety as their main value. Ruth cannot betray her mother because of the Chinese norms, such as always being obedient toward parents, collectivist, formal, and maintaining harmony, stick in her mind yet those norms cannot be always applied in societies around her. Filial piety that dictates the parent-child relationship Zhou, 2009: 194 demands children to obey them. It can be said that mother’s orders are the first priority and children should obey it. It also happens in the novel, as what experienced by Ruth Young. LuLing always criticized any edges that touched the sidewalk. She also complained about the yellow urine spots, made by the dog from across the street. ‘Lootie, you tell that man don’t let dog do that.’ Ruth reluctantly went across the street, knocked on the door, asked the neighbor if he had seen a black-and-white cat, then walked back and told her mother that the man said he would try Tan, 2004: 45. The previous quotation shows that LuLing gives an order to Ruth and Ruth obeys her mother even with the reluctant feeling. Yet, she does not say the complaint to the man next door as her way to show the rebellion toward her mother. She cannot show it directly, and then she shows it by never delivering the complaint. Ruth is repressed by LuLing because LuLing believes that mother can control children. Ruth does not want it and she betrays because she gets influenced by her American friend. It shows that Ruth is influenced so she can show her stand against her mother and not to always obey her mother. The conflict happens after Ruth disobeys her mother directly, as stated in the following quotation. When she went away to college and came home to visit, her mother still asked her to complain to the man across the street almost as soon as she walked in the door. The missing-cat routine was getting old, and it was hard to think of new excuses for knockin g on the man’s door. Ruth usually procrastinated, and LuLing nagged more and more yellow spots, as well as Ruth’s laziness, her forgetfulness, her lack of concern for family, on and on. Ruth tried to ignore her by reading or watching TV Tan, 2004: 45. The quotation proves that Ruth tries to disobey her mother by procrastinating her mother’s order, being lazy and showing her lack of concern for family. She holds the value of American as being individualistic, she pays little attention to her mother and puts her work as first priority. She also shows her lack of concern for family because she is in college. Ruth’s habit shows her characteristics as being American. In college, Ruth also interacts with her American friends. Her college roommate even suggests her to defend herself against her mother. One day, Ruth worked up the courage to tell LuLing she should hire a lawyer to sue the man or a gardener to fix the lawn. Her college roommate had suggested she say this, telling Ruth she was crazy to let her mother push her around if she were six years old Tan, 2004: 46. Ruth listens to her college friend and confronts her mother. “If it bothers you so much, you take care of it ” 2004: 46. She shows her rebellion and confronts directly toward her mother. The association between Ruth and her American friends strengthens and pushes Ruth to assimilate to American culture since she is influenced by her society. Ruth is being confrontational, assertive, and rebellious as her way to shows her Americanization. However, her mother cannot accept it since Ruth is violating the filial piety bond, the parenting system that puts children to always obey parents. Thus, it sparks the conflicts between Ruth and her mother. Ruth’s confrontation towards her mother makes her mother gives her mental punishment. LuLing stared at her, silent for five full minutes. Then she burst like a geyser: ‘You wish I dead? You wish no mother tell you what to do? Okay, maybe I die soon’ And just like that Ruth had been upended, flung about, was una ble to keep her balance. LuLing’s threats to die were like earthquakes. Ruth knew that the potential was there, that beneath the surface, the temblors could occur at any time. And despite this knowledge, when they erupted she panicked and wanted to run away before the world fell down Tan, 2004: 46. Ruth’s Americanization brings the conflicts in her family toward her mother and also makes herself feel the guilt of her action. The prior quotation illustrates that since the beginning Ruth realizes that her confrontation will lead to her mother’s threat of death and suicide. Ruth herself feels the internal conflict from her brave action in disobeying her mother. Yet, she still takes the risk to show the rebellion even she has to pay it with her mother’s angriness which leads to the conflict. “Ruth knew it was her mother’s version of emotional torture, but still it made her stomach hurt as she pretended not to be affected” Tan, 2004: 46. In her sophomore period, Ruth adapts the American values and acts like an American teenager. She goes to the park or beach with her friends after school and even smokes cigarette Tan, 2004: 132. She really wants freedom and privacy for herself. However, her mother keeps pushing her to obey the Chinese values to keep maintaining family harmony, respecting, and obeying parent. LuLing tells Ruth that “A daughter should have no secrets from a mother” Tan, 2004: 133. LuLing ’s demands and power to control over Ruth are showing that LuLing is collectivistic and hierarchy. She wants to know every single activity that Ruth has done and also she always controls Ruth because she continues the Chinese hierarchy system. The cultural conflicts happened between these two generations since they do not have the same sense of viewing the velues . “They were two people caught in a sandstorm, blasted by pain and each blaming the other as the origin of the wind” Tan, 2004: 134. The quotation explains that two of them are always caught in conflict because of the differences that they cannot fix. In her book, Zhou 2009: 187 has mentioned that “intergenerational relations in Chinese immigrant families are characterized by conflict ”. It is proven by the relation between Ruth and her mother. The conflicts, especially cultural conflicts are experienced by Ruth as second generation because of their different perspective of values. Her mother’s Chinese values are contradictory toward Ruth’s American values. She is so fancy of freedom. While she was 16 years old, Ruth shows her rebellion and says her objection towards her mother, as in the following quotation. As usual, LuLing opened the door without knocking. And when Ruth looked up w ith an innocent expression, LuLing shouted, ‘You smoking’ ‘No, I wasn’t’ ‘Still smoking.’ LuLing pointed toward the window and marched over. The cigarette had landed on the ledge below the window, announcing its whereabouts with a plume of smoke. ‘I’m an American,’ Ruth shouted. ‘I have a right to privacy, to pursue my own happiness, not yours’ Tan, 2004: 134. The dialogue above shows that Ruth proclaims herself as an American and demands her right for having privacy. Her mother’s superiority in the family does not give Ruth privacy. The Chinese’ filial piety value makes parents as the ruler of the family and take control over children. Thus, LuLing always opens Ruth’s door without knocking, as usual, it means that she always does it every time. Ruth who feels that her privacy is broken by her mother finally speaks up. In this context, both of them are facing the conflict because of the different perspective in seeing the values. LuLing wants to show her concern as mother by always controls her daughter and dictates Ruth to do what is right and wrong according to LuLing. However, Ruth who assimilates to the American culture does not want to be controlled by her mother every time because she needs the privacy of her own. As a ghostwriter, Ruth is so busy and she embraces the American value as being work oriented and individualistic, she pays little attention to her mother and more concerns with her work. Consequently, her mother feels that Ruth does not pay attention to her because she is too busy. Her mother keeps complaining and rambling about Ruth’s busy schedule, as quoted below. ‘So busy, so success,’ her mother had said recently when Ruth told her she didn’t have any free time to see her. ‘Not free,’ LuLing added, ‘because every minute must charge money. What I should pay you, five dollar, then you come see me?’ The truth was, Ruth did not have much free time, not in her opinion. Free time was the most precious time, when you should be doing what you loved, or at least slowing down enough to remember what made your life worthwhile and happy Tan, 2004: 38. The quotation above shows that LuLing is rambling to ask for Ruth’s free time. Her mother embraces the relationship oriented, maintaining a harmonious relationship has priority over accomplishing tasks, where she demands her child to visit her. They have a different point of view in seeing the worth of free time. LuLing’s reaction towards Ruth’s business is showing her Chinese point of view. Those are the situations that are experienced by Ruth. She moves out from LuLing’s and lives together with her boyfriend and seldom visits LuLing. Thus, the situations drag Ruth to experience the conflict with her mother. Her mother demands Ruth to obey the Chinese system, whereas Ruth lives in American society and cannot follow her mother’s system. Hence, her mother keeps complaining over and over. LuLing wants them to have free time together, while Ruth sees free time as her most precious time when she has to do what she loves. Hence, it can be seen that visiting her mother or spending time with her mother is not her first priority. She shows her less interested in maintaining harmony with her mother. Ruth experiences the conflict with her mother because of her business. There are cultural conflicts that have been experienced by Ruth Young. As a second generation of Chinese who grows up in American, Ruth holds American values and it sparks the cultural conflicts. Somehow, she feels the suffering within herself because she does not know how to react. When she applies the American values, she will face the conflicts with her Chinese mother. Yet, when she obeys her mother, she feels suffering.

C. Ruth Young’s Reconciliation with the Cultural Conflicts

Those who live in two cultures often face conflicts because of the different point of view in accepting the culture values. According to John W. Berry, the conflicts across culture can be avoided when the acculturation is applied by individual to negotiate and reconcile. The reconciliation can also be seen in Ruth Young through the acculturation strategies. In this chapter, the writer is going to explain the acculturation strategies that are used by Ruth Young. The previous subchapter has mentioned Ruth Young’s characteristics and the cultural conflicts she faces. From her characteristics as being reasonable, perceptive, rebellious, individualistic and rigorous, the writer finds that Ruth Young is assimilated into American culture. Those characteristics drive her to face the cultural conflicts with her surrounding, especially her mother who chooses to maintain her culture heritage. There are some cultural conflicts that happen toward them, such as the lack of language on both sides, the force of Chinese filial piety system from her mother, Ruth’s assimilation, and the different ways in holding values make them often conflict with each other. As stated by May Paomay Tung 200:77, having the heritage cultural and historical knowledge will help the second generation in resolving difficulties and conflicts with parents. Through the cultural conflicts that have been explained in this subchapter, Ruth often faces the cultural conflicts with her mother because both of them hold the different values. Ruth was born and grew up in America where she learns about the American value and also interacts with the Americans. However, her mother, LuLing was born and grew up in China, which makes her hold tight the Chinese value. Most of the conflicts that happened between Ruth and LuLing are because none of them can understand each other due to the different ways in accepting the value. LuLing keeps maintaining her Chinese values and it makes she has a difficulty in understanding Ruth. Through the cultural conflicts, actually it can be seen that Ruth has tried the acculturation strategy. There are four strategies that can be applied. From her attitude and habit, Ruth is applying the assimilation strategy at the beginning while her mother is applying the separation strategy. As stated in the chapter two, assimilation strategy is when a person does not wish to maintain her cultural identity and take up the cultural identity of the dominant society and separation strategy is when an individual does not become involved in the dominant culture and instead focuses on her own cultural heritage Berry, 2005: 705. It makes the cultural conflicts happen between them because Ruth assimilates into American culture while her mother sticks into Chinese culture. Ruth has to adapt to the society around her because she lives between two cultures, Chinese and American cultures. They are not living in China Town but around American neighborhood. “Ruth knew what it meant to feel like an outsider, because she had often been one as a child Tan, 2004: 56”. Precisely, there is a moment when she feels like an outsider. She has moved several times during her childhood and finally settled in San Francisco. Ruth and her mother have lived in Oakland and then moved to the flatlands of Berkeley that is owned by a young American couple. She also went to the private schools and interacted with her American friends. She has a Chinese mother who cannot speak English and it makes her speak Mandarin as well since it is her mother ’s language. She has to speak Mandarin with her mother, yet she uses English as her native language because she is living in the society which speaks English. In her young age while she was six year old, she even did not admit her mother in front of her friends. She felt ashamed because her mother could not speak English and her friends were mocking her because of that. ‘Is that your mother?’ they shouted. ‘What’s that gobbled-gook-gook she’s saying?’ ‘She’s not my mother’ Ruth shouted back. ‘I don’t know who she is’ Tan, 2004: 65. The quotation above shows Ruth’s rejection in admitting her mother in front of her American friends. She feels ashamed of her mother. Her reaction shows that Ruth cannot reconcile her cultural differences and ethnicity, it represents a high point of tension in the march of Americanization. She does not want to accept her mother’s culture heritage and the language. She avoids it and does not admit it as part of her, thus, she shows the rejection in front of her friends. In this context, her younger self indicates that she has chosen assimilation strategy to adapt with the society. Since her childhood, Ruth shows her less interest in Chinese culture. She does not want to learn Mandarin unless her mother does not force her to. She often disobeys her mothe r and breaks her mother’s rules, does not like to be controlled by her mother’s hierarchical system which forces her to be obedient. She is assimilated into American society because she interacts with the American society around her. She even proclaims herself as an American Tan, 2004: 134. Ruth Young’s characteristics as being individualist, task oriented and seek for freedom show that she holds the American culture. She is too busy with her job and rarely visits her mother. Hence, her assimilation into American society drives her to the cultural conflicts with her mother. Those cultural conflicts are also happened due to Ruth’s lack of her origin Chinese heritage cultural and historical knowledge. She shows no interest in knowing LuLing’s past through her memoir which is written in Mandarin. As time goes by, Ruth has faced her adolescence and grown up to be a successful woman. She has a good job as ghostwriter and nice boyfriend, an American. Then, for the first time, she hosts the Chinese Full Moon Festival dinner where all of her family will be gathered around . “To Ruth, this particular gathering was not ‘just a dinner.’ It was their Chinese thanksgiving, the reunion that she was hosting for the first time Tan, 2004: 79. From the quotation, it shows that Ruth has tried to acknowledge her heritage as Chinese descent, yet she still uses the term ‘thanksgiving’ to refer the dinner indicates that she is more familiar with that American term when explaining about the Chinese Full Moon Festival dinner. During dinner, Ruth realizes that she cannot really fit in with her boyfriend’s family. While Art is gathering together with his parents and ex-wife, Ruth admits that it was fast becoming the non-Chinese section Tan, 2004: 83. It shows that Ruth still concerns about her feeling being an outsider and does not fit in. Among all of her acculturation process, she is being assimilated into American culture. However, her feeling as the outsider shows that she still has doubt where she should stand, either as an American or accepts her heritage being a Chinese American. Ruth’s ignorance towards her mother’s culture starts to fade away when her mother gets sick. She has to take care of her mother and live in her mother’s house, so she can have an eye on her mother every time. LuLing has been diagnosed with dementia which causes her to loss some memories. The memoir she has written is telling about her past life long before she realizes that she starts losing her memory and she has given it to Ruth five or six before. Ruth never pays attention to the memoir before, yet after her mother is sick, she starts to care and be curious about the memoir. She looks for a translator and she wants to read it. She felt a curious sympathy for her younger self, as well as an embarrassed hindsight in how foolish and egocentric she had been Tan, 2004: 141. The quotation expresses Ruth’s response to her younger self. She recalls her memory and feels sympathy for what she has done with the conflicts that have been through with her mother. The memoir tells LuLing’s origin, where she comes from, about Precious Auntie, her nursemaid who is actually her real mother, her father who is murdered, and her big families who are holding the patriarchal system who forces her to marry the son of her father’s murderer. It also tells how LuLing’s real mother commits suicide, the fall of her family, about LuLing’s first husband, her