Annotated drafts and unabridged questionnaire responses Michelle, Draft.1

Appendix II: Annotated drafts and unabridged questionnaire responses Michelle, Draft.1

CoP 1) I believe 2) that any change is possible 3) because no change is possible 4) is impossible. 5) Everything is moving 6) and changing constantly without our wishes, 7) which means 8) we are hard 9) to chose 10) that going to better or not. 11) Moreover even better or not depend on period and the times. 12) Problems also are changing too. 13) There are no stable things in our world.

14) As that so, we have no idea 15) what to do 16) for change better? CoP 17) and It's true 18) that "The more [that] things change, 19) the more [that] they are the same"? CoP 20) I don't think so INT 21) because "the same" is ridiculous idea for me. 22) That's boring and 23) leading us mental illness. 24) The same is impossible 25) like no one is the same. 26) If we wish 27) change better 28) and do something for it 29) and then It would be possible. CoP 30) I think 31) that to start 32) wishing, 33) thinking 34) and doing for it 35) are the change 36) that I think. 37) Change is not result.

CoP 38) Change is not result 39) which mean 40) it is impossible 41) to achieve it. 42) There is no achievement in our world. 43) But it is not negative outlook. 44) We just have only change

45) that is always possible 46) to be better 47) if we believe it 48) and doing our best with willing 49) make a efforts for other people 50) that not only you. INT 51) The most important thing 52) is

thinking anytime about change 53) what is better for us.

Michelle, Draft.2

1) Everybody changes our mind frequently in our life, 2) It is like picking a lunch out everyday. CoP 3) I think 4) any changes are possible 5) to change CoP 6) because no-changes are impossible. 7) Is that so, the same is impossible too, like 8) nobody are the same. 9) Everything is moving 10) and changing a lot constantly without 11) noticed, CoEv 12) for example, the Berlin wall was built CoEv 13) and taken down accidentally, 14) whether they wanted it or not. 15) There are no stable things in our world, 16) everything keeps moving on. 17) Moreover, problems also are changing a lot too, 18) It means 19) it is hard 20) to expect 21) that things are going to be better or not. 22) It depend on countries and the period of the time.

23) Conversely, If we would hope the change, 24) we could be able to do that easily. CoP 25) It is hard 26) to define 27) what problem is. 28) If we think 29) it is the problem, 30) it must be the problem. 31) Actually we have so many things 32) are the problem 33) that we feel. 34) As you

know, the change would haven't came the US 35) like Barack Obama said. 36) But, Is that true? CoP 37) I think 38) the change would've came the US people. 39) But as time went on, CoEv 40)

the people became to be watcher. 41) At that time that he was voted, CoEv 42) the people kept their eyes on that problems, 43) and talked 44) and thought about it each other. CoEv 45) After such a massive election, they've just waited the good change for them 46) would come 47) no longer talking about it. CoP 48) Change is not only good result, 49) it is including worse. 50) Change is not the achievement.

CoP 51) There is no achievement in our world. 52) But it is not negative outlook. 53) We have only the change 55) that is possible 56) to be better than before 56) if we would do something for it. 57) Wishing, 58) thinking and 59) doing it with others and 60) making efforts for other people

61) who is not only you. INT 62) The most important thing is thinking about the change 63) what is better for everybody, INT 64) and then we finally could meet little bit change 65) that is better than before. 66) That is "the change", INT 67) never stop it.

Michelle, Questionnaire: After Reading the Student Writing Guide

Overall, how well did you understand the five parts of the writing guide?

The illustration on the very first page of his writing guide made me easy to understood and imagined how do I for it. Showing easy for example that connected the illustration released our confusing and questions.

Which part of the guide did you understand the MOST? Explain and be specific.

The first part is. I think the first part is most showed what he want to tell us about it. It is his priority of writing which means most important part for us. The other is showing how to do using example or teaching technical skill. I need practicing the other to understand it truly.

Which part(s) of the guide was HARD to understand? Explain and be specific.

The fourth part is. The reason why hard to understand is he explains it quite in detail using unfamiliar words in this part. It is little bit taking time for truly understanding it.

Overall, do you think this guide could be used to revise your essay? Why / Why not? Be specific.

I think so. I just wrote the essay for unclear reason. I didn't think I got a chance to think about unexpected things in my life. I felt like be forced to write something by someone. It was good opportunity to think why I want to write? and want to do something. and I noticed that needing to have exact target in daily life to do anything.(It's just not only for writing.) Thank you.

Michelle, Questionnaire: After Writing Draft 2 with the SWG

Do you think your writing in the FINAL draft was different from your writing in the FIRST draft? How?

I think it was different from first one. while I was writing first, I just kept in mind how long I have to make it and how do I make it seems like good essay? After I read the guide, I tried to make it interesting for readers. It must be different!!

Were you able to IMAGINE your writing situation? How did you do this? Explain.

Yes I was. I just imagined the situation that my reader is my friends and telling to them passionately.

Which PART of the guide was for you the MOST helpful / interesting / clear / useful? Be honest and specific.

The first part is. I usually imagine my readers but I didn't want to get their interest and with no reason. But the first part says we need reason for our writing. I realized that we should entertain them that making essay interesting.

Which PART(S) of the guide for you was the LEAST clear / helpful / interesting? Be honest and specific.

The last part is because it was technical direction using unfamiliar words for me.

Do you think you will USE the writing strategies in the guide in the FUTURE? Explain why or why not.

I will absolutely use in the future. Even though we know this writing strategies is very good, It is no meaning without practicing. If we want to improve something, we have to practice to get used to it.

Helen, Draft.1

1) I live in the World 2) that if I want 3) to be more comfortable than before, 4) I can treat the world as the more convenient thing. 5) when it comes to Change in the science and technology, 6) It doesn't need 7) to say 8) that it is so fast 9) as much as we can't follow. 10) But How about human Being changes in the most developed society? 11) is human being changed easily? 12) Today, I don't want 13) to say about human being evolution, CoP 14) but I'd like 15) to say 16) that One society has an effect on change of Human being characteristic and behavior.

17) I frequently heard CoEv 18) that The north Korea has been in poverty for a long time. 19) moreover, I heard CoEv 20) that some north Korean eat the dead 21) even if they think heir ethnic as precious thing. 22) It means CoEv 23) that terrible poverty finally made them 24) to be barbarians. 25) They were not born in there as barbarians, 26) They live in there as human being only with nature no reason. 27) The normal north Korean might have never experienced life beyond their boundary 28) as well as they might have never thought about outside their world. 29) They may think 30) day after day is like a war for living on. 31) Who can think about the future of life in the middle of war? 32) Not that they didn't change their life CoP 33) but that they can't grab the possibility of change. 34) They were born in their culture, 35) and then they were grown up as the part of their society. 36) If they knew the presence of other world , 37) even they had a chance 38) to look around the World, 39) they would try 40) to overcome their hardship and distraction 41) or they might be people 42) who are called as a nice person like a leader. CoP 43) Change of Human being depends on his Society. 44) If society show him a variety of sides, 45) Human can accept and 46) develop it actively.

44) That's my point here. 48) Each Society has particular culture 49) that absolutely affect 50) forming human's identity. 51) Some society think 52) that following a law 53) is the most important. 54) others say 55) that freedom is virtue in their society 56) I don't want 57) to judge

58) what is the most important in our life. 59) But it is true . CoP 60) that each standard of society affects human's characteristic and behavior. CoP 61) If people can have a chance 62) to change somethings, 63) people also can be changed. CoEv 64) A man 65) <who I met in the US> lived drunken everyday. 66) I always wanted 67) to let him know 68) that there is a wonderful world without drinks and bad things. 69) I hoped 70) to change him to a great way. 71) But I couldn't lead him to good things. 72) For a long time, I thought 73) that "can I change him? 74) does he have a possibility of change?" 75) I finally realized 76) that I can't make him 77) changed. 78) The society 79) <he lived in> is so strong 80) that I can't tear down 81) even if There are a lot of bad things. CoP 82) The problem of human being change is not about just human's respective problem. 83) I am sure 84) that Human being Change is possible 85) when the society permits change.

86) The thing INT 84) <I am sorry to say> is 87) that The barrier 88) <that prevents people from 89) <<throwing away bad things>> and 90) <<<changing their life to great ways>>>> is so high.

INT 91) however, we must not ignore 92) that there is a possibility of change. 93) If we recognize the importance of change, 94) we already got a possibility of change. CoP 95) At the end, I think Change is possible in our life.

Helen, Draft.2

1) I live in the World 2) that if I want 3) to be more comfortable than before, 4) I can treat the world as the more convenient thing. 5) when it comes to Change in the science and technology, 6) It doesn't need 7) to say 8) that it is so fast 9) as much as we can't follow. 10) But How about human Being changes in the most developed society ? 11) is human being changed easily? 12)

Today, I don't want 13) to say about human being evolution, CoP 14) but I'd like 15) to say 16) that One society has an effect on change of Human being characteristic and behavior. CoP 17) The idea of human being change can be traced to the birth of society 18) where people got together 19) and made their own culture by themselves, 20) when it was argued 21) that men developed thoughts of change, 22) which derived from the concept of 23) making their identity ideally. CoEv 24) For example, The north Korea has been in poverty for a long time. INT 25) moreover,

I am reluctant 26) to believe CoEv 27) that some north Korean eat the dead 28) even if they think their ethnic as precious thing. 29) It means CoEv 30) that terrible poverty finally made them 31) be barbarians. 32) They were not born in there as barbarians, 33) But unfortunately They live in there as human being only with nature no reason. 34) The normal north Korean might have never experienced life beyond their boundary 35) as well as they might have never thought about outside their world. 36) They may think day after day is like a war for 37) living on. 38) Who can think about the future of life in the middle of war? 39) Not that they didn't change their life CoP 40) but that they can't grab the possibility of change. 41) They were born in their culture, 42) and then they were grown up as the part of their society. 43) If they knew the presence of other worlds , 44) or just had a chance 45) to look around the World, 46) they would try 47) to overcome their hardship and distraction. 48) moreover , they might be people 49) who are called as a nice person like a leader. CoP 50) If people can have a chance 51) to change somethings, 52) people also can be changed. 53) That's my point here. 54) Each Society has particular culture 55) that absolutely affect 56) forming human's identity. 57) Some society think 58) that following a law is the most important. 59) others emphasize 60) freedom is virtue in their society. 61) I don't want 62) to judge 63) what is the most important in our life. 64) But it is true CoP 65) that each standard of society affects choosing criteria of human's characteristic and behavior.

66) I would argue 67) that Change of Human being depends on his Society. 68) If society show him a variety of sides, 69) Human can accept and 70) develop it actively. 71) In another example, I remember CoEv 72) that on several occasions I met A man 73) <who was in the US> 74) lived drunken everyday. 75) I always wanted 76) to let him know 77) that there is a wonderful world without drinks and bad things. 78) I cordially hoped 79) to change him toward a great way. 80) he absolutely tried 81) to improve his situation. 82) however, I couldn't lead him to good things, 83) but he also couldn't change himself. 84) For a long time, I thought

85) that "can I change him? 86) does he have a possibility of change?" 87) I finally realized 88) that I can't make him changed. 89) The society ties 90) <he lived in> is so strong 91) that I can't tear down 92) even if There are a lot of bad things. 93) The society ties 94 <that has been around him> was so hard, 95) that's why individual couldn't cut them out. CoP 96) Human being change is not about just human's respective problem. 97) I am sure that Human being Change is possible only 98) when the society permits change. INT 99) The thing I am sorry to say is 100) that The barrier 101) <that prevents people from 102) <<throwing away bad things>> and 103) <<<changing their life to great ways>>>> is so high. INT 104) however, we must not ignore 105) that there is a possibility of change. 106) If we recognize the importance of change, 107) we already got a possibility of change. 108) Furthermore, If not individual but all members of society notice needs 109) to change themselves, 110) change of human appears positively. CoP 111) At the end, I think Change is possible in our life for sure.

Helen, Questionnaire: After Reading the Student Writing Guide

Overall, how well did you understand the five parts of the writing guide?

The guide you gave me is so impressive. There are lots of things that gave me lots of information about writtin skills. Overall, i could understand all comprehensive.

Which part of the guide did you understand the MOST? Explain and be specific.

The guide is consist of explaination &examples.. That is so useful. Most of all, it is interesting in part of contents about adverb.

Which part(s) of the guide was HARD to understand? Explain and be specific.

Actually it's lots of info. To foriegn , we need brief info. But everything is explained well with good examples. That's good way to let foriegn know the writting skills.

Overall, do you think this guide could be used to revise your essay? Why / Why not? Be specific.

Absolutely the guide is so useful and helpful. But i can understand what the guide said. But after i read it , i was ready to revise but i felt revising is harder than writting first draft even though the guide lead to.

Helen, Questionnaire: After Writing Draft 2 with the SWG

Do you think your writing in the FINAL draft was different from your writing in the FIRST draft? How?

First draft is hard to write what i want to say directly. But the guide that you gave me was so helpful. Actually , i was in trouble using appropriate adverb. But i can use adverb more easily.

Were you able to IMAGINE your writing situation? How did you do this? Explain.

When i got the topic, i thought it's so difficult to me. But the more i thought , the more thoughts in my mind. I finally chose what i want to say. Next, i thought examples that can explain the situation. At Firstdraft, i felt being in mess in writting. Moreover , it's hard to write same topic that i want to say in one draft.

Which PART of the guide was for you the MOST helpful / interesting / clear / useful? Be honest and specific.

Actually, i have learned writting skills in korea before. It's absolutely korean writting skills. But there are same skills between both.

I think it's helpful for me to understand comprehensively. And the best thing is that there are suffiecient examples and explanations. It's good for me. Thanks.

Which PART(S) of the guide for you was the LEAST clear / helpful / interesting? Be honest and specific.

Actually, most information that you gave me is so grate. But after i read the guide, i don't know how i can change my firstdraft. I think the guide needs to let me know what wrong examples in draft is.

Do you think you will USE the writing strategies in the guide in the FUTURE? Explain why or why not.

I will use this strategies step by step. I thought if i followed the strategies at first, it's easier to writte essay well. It's harder to change the essay than just to writting the essay. Thanks for your guide, i felt i can writte essay better in the future.

Lucy, Draft.1

1) Nowsday, in the society everything are going to uninterrupted growth and change. 2) Do you feel 3) that change is good for us or not. 4) Change is good word in people's life, 5) but if use 1) Nowsday, in the society everything are going to uninterrupted growth and change. 2) Do you feel 3) that change is good for us or not. 4) Change is good word in people's life, 5) but if use

CoP 20) Some people said 21) change is the best way in our life. 22) When we grew up for now, 23) everything have big change. 24) Life is more and more convenience and technology. 25) We were seen 26) the life is how to change. 27) We can felt 28) eveything are keep on going change. 29) If we don't want 30) to change 31) just wait someone's change. 32) That will be everthing 33) can't keep on 34) and stop in the same time.

CoP 35) Some people think 36) change bring us 37) doesn't just have the good life. 38) When people have something 39) to change, 40) they will always think the change 41) how to give their good part. 42) But they alway neglect behind change 43) what is waiting for us. 44) Like computer is the super machine in our life, 45) we can't live without them 46) because the habit with technology. 47) When we buy the new computer 48) who care about 49) that will be garbage with the old one. 50) When we enjoy the change 51) bring us good part. 52) But 53) <who care about the world> is more and more weak. 54 ? ) Because of us greed, selfness and endless desire.

CoP 55) Some people felt change 56) had keep going 57) to try 58) and don't give up. 59) If we just want 60) to stay in the same time 61) wait for the change. 62) We can't improve our knowledage 63) and can't have progress. 64) Because we need the life 65) can change better with our dreams.

CoP 66) Some people said 67) the more things change, 68) the more that they are the same. 69) Let me think about a sentencs 70) " you are what you eat." CoP 71) I felt 72) was the same meaning. 73) Sometimes if we follow someone change 74) we would like that someone. 75) However everything and people are going with the stream. 76) That will like the blind fans 77) to like someone.

78) Although change 79) it can be make us life 80) have many different new choice and experience. CoP 81) I think we still need 82) to depend 83) which change is good for us, 84) and at the same time we need 85) to understand the change 86) what will bring us the consequences.

87) So when we want 88) to have change something or someone. 89) We need 90) to have the goal 91) want 92) to achieve. INT 93) Don't be a silly 94) see something or someone 95) going to

change, 96) you do the mimicker. 97) Because everyone has their goals and dreams, 98) but who is 99) can be persevere in the end. 100) That's the big problem with a lot of people 101) don't have will power 102) to hold the end until they succeed. 103) They most of give up 104) when they frustrated. 105) The life of people have a lot of turning poinr. 106) When you decide 107) to change 108) please think about 109) what you want 110) be change.

Lucy, Draft.2

1) Nowadays , in this society everything are going through constant change and development. CoP 2) In my opinion, change is a good thing in people's life, 3) but there are also negative changes . 4) Everything can be both a positive or a negative change, 5) but some people always ignore 6) and refuse 7) to accept the negative part. CoP 8) I know 9) that's everyone has issues 10) and it is very difficult 11) to balance the change 12) that brings us the results. 13) If you want 14) to change 15) what do you do? 16) Go to change 17) or wait for the time 18) to change.

CoP 19) Some people said 20) accepting changes 21) is the best way in our life. 22) As we age, 23) we are going through everlasting changes . 24) This world is also going through constant change and development . 25) We can see 26) and feel the changes 27) that is happening around us . 28) Changes will occur, 29) even if you don't want it 30) to happen. 31) No one can stop the changes 32) that occur in this world.

CoP 33) Some people believe 34) that changes doesn't always lead to a good life. 35) Most people are ignornant , 36) they will only think about the positive side 37) and ignore the negative parts of it. 38) They are only thinking about the present, 39 elipsis ) and not the long term effect . 40) For example, computers is the most commonly used machine in our life, 41) we can't live without CoP 33) Some people believe 34) that changes doesn't always lead to a good life. 35) Most people are ignornant , 36) they will only think about the positive side 37) and ignore the negative parts of it. 38) They are only thinking about the present, 39 elipsis ) and not the long term effect . 40) For example, computers is the most commonly used machine in our life, 41) we can't live without

CoP 49) Some people felt 50) that changes can only progress 51) and not recede . 52) If we refuse 53) to change 54) or accept changes, 55) we will not improve 56) and accomplish anything. 57) For example, Industry and Companies must change 58) and improve their products. 59) This is the only way 60) they will continue 61) to make a product 62) and improve their products. 63) So changes can help 64) improve our society 65) and to form a better world.

CoP 66) Some people said 67) the more things that changes , 68) the more that remains the same. CoP 69) "Monkey see Monkey do" 70) is quite true. 71) Many people change themselves just because of someone 72) they admire. 73) They believe 74) they will be accepted among their peers 75) if they try 76) copy that person. CoP 77) This isn't true, 78) everyone is unique in their own way 79) and should do 80) what they feel best. 81) Not change themselves 82) to try 83) and fit in.

84) Although changes can alter our lives 85) and create new opportunities, CoP 86) I think we still need 87) to consider 88) what is best for ourselves. 89) At the same time , 90) we need 91) to remember the consequences and long term effects . 92) So when we want 93) to change something or someone, 94) we need 95) to take some time 96) to think about it. INT 97) Don't be a silly 98) and mimic everything you see 99) or hear, 100) because every thing has their pros and cons. CoP 101) A big issue with a lot of people is 102) that they don't have will power 103) to try 104) and make a difference in this world . 105) They mostly give up 106) when they are frustrated , 107) or feel 108) that they are trivial 109) and can't change the world. 110) Changes can be have their pros and cons, 111) so always consider it before 112) trying 113) to make a change. 114) It also very important 115) believe in yourself 116) and do 117) what you believe is right, despite the opinion of other.

Lucy, Questionnaire: After Reading the Student Writing Guide

Overall, how well did you understand the five parts of the writing guide?

Yes, it's so clear to understand the five parts of the writing guide.

Which part of the guide did you understand the MOST? Explain and be specific.

The speaker voice is the most understand. let me know how to use different voice to explain what I want to say.

Which part(s) of the guide was HARD to understand? Explain and be specific.

The Global text organization was to hard understand. It's so hard to do that for me.

Overall, do you think this guide could be used to revise your essay? Why / Why not? Be specific.

Yes, is so useful to revise my essay. The guide can help me for different part how to revise my essay because sometimes when I write my essay I always don't how to completely organization to write my essay.

Lucy, Questionnaire: After Writing Draft 2 with the SWG

Do you think your writing in the FINAL draft was different from your writing in the FIRST draft? How?

Yes, it has big different. The final draft has more detials than the first draft.

Were you able to IMAGINE your writing situation? How did you do this? Explain.

Yes, I were imagine how to use different voices to writing about the topic.

Which PART of the guide was for you the MOST helpful / interesting / clear / useful? Be honest and specific.

The speakser voices is the most clear.

Which PART(S) of the guide for you was the LEAST clear / helpful / interesting? Be honest and specific.

If I need to choose I think it's the occasion and global text organization was the least interesting.

Do you think you will USE the writing strategies in the guide in the FUTURE? Explain why or why not.

Yes, of course. It's so helpful for my writing in the guide in the future. Because when you are writing get lose, this guide can help you how to writing.

Cher, Draft.1

1) When I was in high school student, 2) I was so cynical person. 3) I didn't want 4) to hang out friends 5) and I didn't want 6) to participate classes. 7) Actually I wanted 8) to enjoy my life alone. 9) Of course people said, 10) it's just an adolescent girl's behavior. 11) However I have kept this personality 12) untill become an adult. 13) So do I have same personality until now? 14) I'd say "NO". 15) I have changed many things. 16) I like 17) enjoy something with my friends.

18) I like 19) talking with my friends. 20) I become another people. 21) How can I change my personality? 22) I'd let you 23) know about that. 24) When I was working at my first job, 25) I was so shy. 26) I didn't say anything. 27) I couldn't do anything. CoEv 28) I just tried 29) to read my boss's mind. 30) It made me discourage person. 31) It made meexhausted. 32) I was becoming disenchanted with my job. 33) I was becoming 34) hate my job. 35) So I thought 36) that I have to change my personality. 37) Actually my job needed to sociallity. CoEv 38) First of all, I tried 39) to greeting to everybody. 40) Even I didn't know about them. CoEv 41) Second of all, I attempted 42) to make a smile. 43) Even though I felt so bad. CoEv 44) At last I became an outgoing person, 45) people liked more than before.

46) I had disliked children 47) since I was so young. 48) I hated their rudeness. 49) I hated noisy 50) when they hang out friends. 51) I had never took care of kids. 52) I had never played with them. CoEv 53) However I had became 54 ? ) loving them 55) since I taught childre in church. 56) Originally I thought 57) that they make me crazy. 58) Though they make me 59) change, 60) they make me 61) know about 62) that relationship with other people is so good thing. 63) They make me more positive person. 64) They make me lovely person. CoEv 65) When I was in Korea, 66) I was so passive person. 67) I had never spoke to strange person. 68) If

I go to strange place, 69) I didn't say anything. 70) I just kept silence. 71) Since I came to chicago, CoEv 72) I had to speak to strange person. 73) I had to hang out strange person. 74) Cause I needed to friends 75)

and I needed 76) to practice English. CoEv 77) So I tryed 78) to talking a lot. 79) I tryed 80) to speak loudly. 81) There are still some problem to me, 82) I a getting better.

83) When I was a student, CoEv 84) me and my parents worried about my personality. 85) Since I was introverted, 86) I thougth 87) that I couldn't adapt social life. 88) However I could overcome that, 89) I could become an outgoing person. 90) Cause I believe 91) that I could change my personality. 92) I did my best that. CoEv 93) Finally I could change my personality and my situation. INT 94) If you need some change, 95) you should do that. INT 96) Believe 97) that you can chang. 98) You aleady achieve half of them.

Cher, Draft.2

1) When I was a high school student, 2) I was so cynical person. 3) I didn't want 4) to hang out friends 5) and I didn't want 6) to participate classes. 7) Actually I wanted 8) to enjoy my life alone. 9) Of course people said, 10) it's just an adolescent girl's behavior. 11) However I have kept this personality 12) untill become an adult. CoP 13) I know, it's so difficult 14) that changing 1) When I was a high school student, 2) I was so cynical person. 3) I didn't want 4) to hang out friends 5) and I didn't want 6) to participate classes. 7) Actually I wanted 8) to enjoy my life alone. 9) Of course people said, 10) it's just an adolescent girl's behavior. 11) However I have kept this personality 12) untill become an adult. CoP 13) I know, it's so difficult 14) that changing

you 25) know about that.

26) When I was working at my first job, 27) I was so shy. 28) I didn't say anything. 29) I couldn't do anything. CoEv 30) I just tried 31) to read my boss's mind. 32) It made me discourage person. 33) It made me exhausted. 34) I was becoming disenchanted with my job. 35) I was becoming 36) hate my job. 37) So I thought 38) that I have to change my personality. 39) Actually my job needed to sociallity. CoEv 40) First of all, I tried 41) to greeting to everybody. 42) Even I didn't know about them. CoEv 43) Second of all, I attempted 44) to make a smile. 45) Even though I felt so bad. CoEv 46) At last I became an outgoing person, 47) people liked me more than before.

48) I had disliked children 49) from I was so young. 50) I hated their rudeness. 51) I hated noisy 52) when they hang out friends. 53) I had never took care of kids. 54) I had never played with

them. CoEv 55) However I had became 56 ? ) loving them 57) since I taught childre in church. 58) Originally I thought 59) that they make me crazy. 60) Though they made me 61) change, they

made me 62) know about 63) that relationship with other people 64) <who are children> is so good thing. 65) They made me more positive person. 66) They made me lovely person. CoEv 67) When I was in Korea, 68) I was so passive person.69) I had never spoke to strange person. 70) If I go to strange place, 71) I didn't say anything. 72) I just kept silence. CoEv 73) Since I came to chicago, 74) I had to speak to strange person. 75) I had to hang out strange person.

74) Cause I needed to friends 75) and I needed 76) to practice English. CoEv 77) So I tryed 78) to talking a lot. 79) I tryed 80) to speak loudly. 81) There are still some problem to me 82) but I am getting better.

83) When I was a student, CoEv 84) me and my parents worried about my personality. 85) Since I was introverted, 86) I thougth 87) that I couldn't adapt social life. 88) However I could overcome that, 89) I could become an outgoing person. 90) Cause I believe 91) that I could change my personality. 92) I did my best that. CoEv 93) Finally I could change my personality and my situation. INT 94) If you need some change, 95) you should do that. INT 96) Believe 97) that you can chang. 98) You aleady achieve half of them.

Cher, Questionnaire: After Reading the Student Writing Guide

Overall, how well did you understand the five parts of the writing guide?

yes

Which part of the guide did you understand the MOST? Explain and be specific.

Introduce! When I write an essay, I get stress out. Because I think, I'm not skillfull writer. So I usually can't start at once.

Which part(s) of the guide was HARD to understand? Explain and be specific.

I could understan clearly.

Overall, do you think this guide could be used to revise your essay? Why / Why not? Be specific.

I make me more clearly. When I write an essay, I would be helpful. I have too mant things to think about writing. However this guid give me a writing step.

I think, I just follow the rule.

Cher, Questionnaire: After Writing Draft 2 with the SWG

Do you think your writing in the FINAL draft was different from your writing in the FIRST draft? How?

I just corrected some grammar. So it's just little bit different from my first one.

Were you able to IMAGINE your writing situation? How did you do this? Explain.

Yes, I could imagine the situation. Because I wrote the essay based my background.

Which PART of the guide was for you the MOST helpful / interesting / clear / useful? Be honest and specific.

introduce, final when I write an essay, it so hard for me that I write an introdue, final. After i read the guide, it's more clear.

Which PART(S) of the guide for you was the LEAST clear / helpful / interesting? Be honest and specific.

I think it just make me organize my thoughts. So I like everything.

Do you think you will USE the writing strategies in the guide in the FUTURE? Explain why or why not.

Um..I think it's so formal. Many ESL classes are teaching about that. there are nothing new.

Natalie, Draft.1

CoP 1) I have a strong belief 2) that a change can be made anywhere, any time. 3) Without a hope for the change, we cannot keep INT 4) living in this wicked world. 5) We need 6) to move in the right direction 7) to be better off INT 8) because we deserve it.

9) My faith in change comes from cultural and historical background CoEv 10) of which I grew up. 11) I’m from South Korea 12) which is very well known as one of the Asian Dragons for its amazing economic development along with Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Singapore. 13) But it hasn’t been built in a day, 14) as you might know. 15) To achieve economic success, 16) Korean people had to go through a hard time 17) and overcome it. CoEv 18) In early 1950’s, the Korean war broke out 19) and it literally destroyed everything on the Korean peninsula. 20) Moreover, it was right after Korea had acquired its political independence from Japanese imperialism 21) which was way beyond cruelty 22) to take every valuable thing from its colony. 23) Japan had robbed Korea of natural resources, industrial infrastructures, and even cultural heritage during the colonial dominance. 24) Due to the imperialist aggression and the fratricidal war between North and South, Korea has had a very hard time 25) surviving until late 1970’s. CoP 26) However, Korean people always have been believers and doers. 27) We have a quite strong confidence for the bright future 28) and we work hard 29) to make it 30) come true. 31)

Back in 1960’s, since South Korea had not only nothing 32 elipsis ) but also nothing to lose, CoEv 33) they started 34) to work harder 35) and be much more eager 36) to educate themselves and

their children. 37) Korean people do now know the word ‘give-up’ 38) so that they are able to keep moving forward. 39) Starting from some sort of home crafts industry, CoEv 40) Korea has improved its industrial structure much more higher level like heavy industries, advanced information and communication technologies, and bio engineering, etc. CoEv 41) Now Korea has become one of the economically developed countries in the world 42) and it is ranked around top

10. INT 43) I think it’s a jaw-dropping evidence 44) we could ever find in the world history 45) that a country and its people make everything from nothing only within few decades. CoP 46) I do believe 47) that we also can make our own change 48) if we really want. 49) We can go anywhere whenever 50) we want. 51) We just need 52) to give it a shot 53) to see how far 54) we can go. INT 55) We always deserve better than now.

Natalie, Draft.2

CoP 1) Some people might say 2) that making a change 3) is not possible 4) or even is not useful. CoP 5) I, however, have a strong belief 6) that a change can be made anywhere, any time. 7) Without a hope for the change, we cannot keep INT 8) living in this wicked world. 9) We need to move in the right direction 10) to be better off INT 11) because we deserve it.

12) My faith in change comes from cultural and historical background CoEv 13) of which I grew up. 14) I’m from South Korea 15) which is allegedly very well known as one of the four Asian Dragons for its amazing economic development along with Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Singapore.

16) But it hasn’t been built in a day, 17) as you might know. 18) To achieve economic success, 19) Korean people had to go through a hard time 20) and overcome it.

CoEv 21) In early 1950’s, the Korean war broke out 22) and it literally destroyed everything on the Korean peninsula. 23) Moreover, it was right after Korea had acquired its political independence from Japanese imperialism 24) which was way beyond cruelty 25) to take every valuable thing from its colony. 26) Japan had robbed Korea of natural resources, industrial infrastructures, and even cultural heritage during the colonial dominance. 27) Due to the imperialist aggression and the fratricidal war between North and South, Korea has had a very hard time 28) surviving until late 1970’s. CoP 29) Nonetheless, strikingly, Korean people always have been believers and doers. 30) We have a quite strong confidence for the bright future 31) and we work hard 32) to make it come true. 33) Back in 1960’s, since South Korea had not only nothing 34 elipsis ) but also nothing to lose, CoEv 35) they started 36) to work harder as much as possible 37) and be much more eager 38) to educate themselves and their children. 39) Korean people do not know the word ‘give-up’ 40) so that they are able to keep moving forward. 41) As a result, starting from some sort of home crafts industry, CoEv 42) Korea has improved its industrial structure to much higher level like heavy industries, advanced information and communication technologies, and bio engineering, etc. CoEv 43) Now Korea has become one of the economically developed countries in the world 44) and it is ranked around top 10. INT 45) I think it’s a jaw-dropping evidence 46) we could ever find in the world history 47) that a country and its people make everything from nothing only within few decades. CoP 48) Some would argue 49) that it’s only one specific case of Korea 50) which is therefore called a miracle. 51) But a surprising change made with a tremendous effort 52) will be not a miracle. CoP 53) I do believe 54) that we also can make our own change 55) if we really want 56) and try hard. 57) We can go anywhere whenever 58) we want. 59) We just need 60) to give it a shot 61) to see how far 62) we can go. INT 63) We always deserve better than now.

Natalie, Questionnaire: After Reading the Student Writing Guide

Overall, how well did you understand the five parts of the writing guide?

I think I understand pretty much of the five parts of the writing guide you gave me. It is very interesting as well as informative indeed. It has its own original system well-organized by the brilliant acronym OASIS.

Which part of the guide did you understand the MOST? Explain and be specific.

Every part except of Part 4, as I am going to address below, is not hard for me to understand. The writing guide provides me with some very useful tips which are really important yet easily neglected in writing an essay.

Which part(s) of the guide was HARD to understand? Explain and be specific.

Part 4 'information units' is the hardest one for me to understand. In the first place, I can hardly catch the concept of CoEV, CoP, DES, INT. Moreover, I cannot quite figure out how we can tell the difference among them in usage. To be specific, on the page 16, I have to confess that I lost my way in the middle of the paragraph.

I know the writing guide would be definitely helpful for a wannabe skillful writers like me. But in my personal opinion, I'm not sure whether we 'laymen' need some sort of advanced knowledge like this or not just to improve our writing skills. However, if you wrote the guide to help professional or academic writers at a very high level, say

a Ph.D candidate or a junior journalist, it might be very useful for them. (It seems little bit sarcastic for me to say in the way above. But I'm not at all. I just want to be 100% honest with you to help your thesis work go perfect. I think you will totally understand what I mean.)

Overall, do you think this guide could be used to revise your essay? Why / Why not? Be specific.

Yes, definitely. I will revise my essay which I submitted online. Reading you guide, I realized that I didn't care about occasion and audience at all when writing the essay.

Natalie, Questionnaire: After Writing Draft 2 with the SWG

Do you think your writing in the FINAL draft was different from your writing in the FIRST draft? How?

Yes. The most noticeable change is that I added to the final draft some meta-discourse markers. Even though I didn't write my essay again from the beginning, I started to think about occasion, audience, and speaker-voice.

Were you able to IMAGINE your writing situation? How did you do this? Explain.

I imagined as if I'm a keynote speaker in a very important international conference who asserts why we should make an effort to make a better world. When writing the first draft, I didn't contemplate on who I am and whom I spoke to. I just wrote it unconsciously. After reading the writing guide, however, I was able to put (imagined) myself in a imagined situation by finding out what and how I want to address the argumentative issue.

Which PART of the guide was for you the MOST helpful / interesting / clear / useful? Be honest and specific.

Actually, there are two parts which helped me a lot revise the first draft of the essay. Part 1 Occasion made me form a conceptual framework of well-formed essays. It reminded me of some critical points of writing skills. To be specific, as directed in the Part 1, why I am writing this essay is an essential question we should keep in mind during the whole process of writing. While Part 1 gave me some general ideas of writing a good essay, Part 2 Audience was useful for me since it gives me some examples which can be applied right away to revise the essay.

Which PART(S) of the guide for you was the LEAST clear / helpful / interesting? Be honest and specific.

I'm so sorry to tell you that Part 4 Information Units was the least helpful. That's because I couldn't fully understand it.

Do you think you will USE the writing strategies in the guide in the FUTURE? Explain why or why not.

Absolutely!! I'll keep the copy of the writing guide to look over again in the near future to start to write an essay or revise it. But I think I need more practice to take every advantage of it. By trying it repeatedly, I should make it my own strategy not the stuffs that I just learned by the writing guide. I wanna go up to the highest level of structure/overall organization in Part 5 someday soon!

Jackie, Draft.1

CoP 1) Some people say 2) we are able to positively change problems in the world. 3) I completely agree with this statement. CoP 4) I believe 5) if I change, 6) I can seek a good time. 7) Positive thoughts and many active social lives can help positively 8) change.

9) For one, the power of optimism makes it to possible 10) to do impossible things. 11) I have read about positive thoughts. CoEv 12) A woman 13) <who had cancer> decides 14) to change mind. 15) Before she had the cancer, 16) she was a negative person. 17) However, after positive thinks, the cancer is curable, 18) she can live better than before. CoP 19) Also, social life is more improtant than any other thing. 20) For instance, through active social life, we can meet a lot of different people. 21) Experiences of this kind lead 22) to help our life. 23) Everything you have seen, 24) heard is a great help 25) to live. CoP 26) So, I think 27) that if we have more positive thoughts and a lot of active social life, 28) we can live happy. 29) In order to live a better life, 30) people should try a lot of effort.

Jackie, Draft.2

CoP 1) Some people say 2) they are able to positively change problems in the world. 3) I completely agree with this statement. CoP 4) I believe 5) if I change, 6) I can seek a good time. 7) Positive thoughts and many active social lives can help positively 8) change.

9) For one, the power of optimism makes it to possible 10) to do impossible things. 11) I have read about positive thoughts. CoEv 12) A woman 13) <who had cancer> 14) decides to change mind. 15) Before she had the cancer, 16) she was a negative person. 17) However, after positive thinks, the cancer became completely curable, 18) she could live better than before. CoP 19) Also, social life is more important than any other thing. 20) For instance, through active social life, we can meet a lot of different people. 21) Experiences of this kind lead 22) to help our life. 23) Everything you have seen, 24) heard is a great help 25) to live. CoP 26) Some tend 27) to live self-centered thinking. CoP 28) Yet, I think 29) that if people want

30) to live happy, 31) they might have more positive thoughts and a lot of active social life. 32) In

order to live a better life, 33) people should try a lot of effort.

Jackie, Questionnaire: After Reading the Student Writing Guide

Overall, how well did you understand the five parts of the writing guide?

I understood a little.

Which part of the guide did you understand the MOST? Explain and be specific.

I thought it was audience. My writing depends on audience.

Which part(s) of the guide was HARD to understand? Explain and be specific.

I thought speaker-voice. I don't understand this part.

Overall, do you think this guide could be used to revise your essay? Why / Why not? Be specific.

Yes, I think it could be used to revise my essay because it can help when I write essay such as how I start about essay, I am right about writing.

Jackie, Questionnaire: After Writing Draft 2 with the SWG

Do you think your writing in the FINAL draft was different from your writing in the FIRST draft? How?

I think it is not hard because the guide helps me.

Were you able to IMAGINE your writing situation? How did you do this? Explain.

First, I think about audience and structure. After that, I try to connect each sentence about occasion.

Which PART of the guide was for you the MOST helpful / interesting / clear / useful? Be honest and specific.

In my case, audience is the most helpful and occasion is interesting.

Which PART(S) of the guide for you was the LEAST clear / helpful / interesting? Be honest and specific.

It is speaker-voice. If I listen to explain to you, I will understand. So, I don't get it.

Do you think you will USE the writing strategies in the guide in the FUTURE? Explain why or why not.

I think it is useful to students who study English. Because if students wonder how to begin writing, this guide will help them.

Appendix III: Screenshots of the online resources involved in the study

1. The website for writing/revising drafts 5. The student writing guide website

2. Login screen for username and password 6. Questionnaire 1, after reading the SWG

3. The essay prompt for draft 1 7. The essay revision box

4. The essay composition box 8. Questionnaire 2, after revising draft 1