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know them yet. This is also happened to Maryam, where her father forces her to marry a man she does not know yet 65. Her father believes that her marriage
will safe her future. Her father also believes if she does not get married, she will get problems. However, as an independent and tough woman, Maryam explicitly
says that she will not marry the chosen man. She wants to get her dream to be a nurse in Tehran. This can be seen from Maryam’s speech, “I said I didn’t care of
trouble, but that I was tired of being spoken to as a child or treated as a chattel to marry, when all I wanted was to go to Tehran and train to be a nurse” 71. She
states that she does not care any trouble which may arise with her decision. However, as a person who live as a subordinate, Maryam cannot do something to
support her believe. Her father is also disowned her as his daughter by sending her out of Mazareh, her beloved hometown.
“Your father and I have spoken about the rumours,” he said. “He knows you have explanations, Maryam, but you must realize damage has been
done to your family’s name and honour. Do you understand? “Your father is deeply disappointed, Maryam,” Doctor Ahlavi continued.
“He can’t look on you as a daughter anymore. This can be no longer your home. 99
Maryam goes away from her house and her wealthy life, and decides to get her
dream to be a nurse. Starting from this moment, Maryam begins to suffer. This is the trouble that she gets, the trouble that finally leads Maryam to another story of
her life, when she has to leave Iran and find a new life for her without her family besides her.
“This is how it has always been, for generations. But a part of him still prizes you and he won’t discard you entirely.” Somehow, we share a
smile. “He will let you alive a life, your life, even if it is far away from here. Do you understand? 101
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This quotation above shows that this has been done for many years ago. Since Maryam disobeys the traditions, her father dares not to acknowledge her as her
daughter. Since Maryam is in subordinate position, she cannot do something to take her status again.
4.2.1.2. Having No Authority
The New Encyclopædia Britannica mentioned that the organizational principle of Iranian kinship is patriliny. This means two major points, first is that
women do not have authority, the authority is vested to men. Second, all decisions are determined through men. Even, men take the simplest decision for women.
Women should get permission from her father or husband to go out from their house. Hughes also stated that women are not permitted to travel or acquire a
passport without their husband’s written permission. A woman is not permitted to be in the company of a man who is not her husband or a male relative.
When Maryam asks her sibling, Mairy, to go out from her house, which means breaking the tradition, she only gets an advice about Iranian tradition.
Mairy reminds Maryam that a woman should leave the house with the permission of her father or husband. This can be seen from Mairy’s speech, “Maryam, you
have nice daydreams”- she pinched my cheek- “but you know we can’t leave without permission from our father or my husband” 58. This condition really
shows that women do not have authority, even to decide a simple thing. Men in Iranian tradition are described as a strict disciplinarian. As the head of the
household, men expect obedience and respects from the members of their family.
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In return, he is obligated to support them and to satisfy their spiritual, social, and material needs. Maryam said, “My father stood in the shadows. I went to him and
bowed my head, reaching out my hands to be taken in his. He bent to kiss me on each cheek, and I smiled, warm with his welcome” 42. This quotation shows
that Maryam respects her father by bowing her head and her father give her a warm welcome. Moreover, as a disciplinarian, men also want to get respect and
obedience from other people. ‘What do you remember about my grandfather?’ she asked Ali.
…’He was a powerful man,’ he said, still looking straight ahead. ‘He was driven by tradition and duty. He prized respect and obedience
above all else. I think, for him, to be loved was to be feared.’ 260 From the quotation above, it is clear that Maryam’s father chooses to prize respect
and obedience above all else, even for his own family. He follows the tradition where men take control of the family. Maryam’s father uses his power to take
control of Maryam’s future, even by using violence. While Ali is the man who disagrees with this condition, Ali shook his head, “No, Maryam, forgive me, but
he took back and destroyed as much as he gave. He was cruel and barbaric; to you, to me and to many others. You know this. It’s all right to forgive him, but
don’t deny his crimes and the scars you carry” 260. He is the one who decided what kind of future that will ensue to his daughters. Men take control of the
condition of the family.
4.2.1.3. Having Minimal Right
The New Encyclopædia Britannica also mentioned that women’s right in the family is also minimal. Women as individuals are often not as completely
