Josephine’s Conflict with John Barton

realize that her schoolmates do not consider her as inferior. After all this time, she thinks that she is socially out of it at St Martha whereas in fact it is not true. It can be seen through Sister Louise’s speech. “You and your friend are trendsetters. The girls look up to you. They copy what you do. They’ll probably slap you on the back to congratulate you when you get back into class” 2006: 220 From the above speech of Sister Louise, it can be seen that Josephine’s perspectives to her schoolmates are wrong. Josephine believes her schoolmates think they are superior to her, but actually they look up to Josephine. They consider Josephine as trendsetter. When I walked back into the classroom I did get pats on the back. “Better than going on the dumb walkathon,” everyone said. “What’s the big deal?”someone asked. “Don’t let her make you feel guilty.” “One of the Year Seven Kids could have been grabbed by a madman. I was responsible for them. That’s what the big deal was. I was wrong in what I did yesterday.” I was wrong. I thought to myself. I honestly believed it. I knew deep down that I was wrong, and I think that my emancipation began at the moment 2006: 221. The above conversation happens between Josephine and her classmates after the walkathon’s incident happened. It can be seen that Josephine’s perspective starts to change after she encounters conflict with Sister Louise. She responds to the conflict by evaluating her own mistake and realizes that she is wrong. It can be seen from her own speech when she responds to one of her classmates who tells her not to feel guilty about the walkathon. In this point, Josephine is enlightened because of the fact that Sister Louise’s speech about how Josephine’s schoolmates perceive her is proven to be right. Josephine’s self-evaluation helps her to learn that her schoolmates consider her as popular girl in the school after she knows from Sister Louise that actually she is voted by her schoolmates as a school captain. It comes as a shock as her social standing was something that Josephine always worried about. The other self-evaluation also comes when John Barton commits suicide. The suicide of her close friend provides her with a different perspective of viewing her own life and problems. ... The day John died was a nose-dive day and I hit the ground so hard that I feel as if every part of me hurts. I remembered when we spoke about our emancipation. The horror is that he had to die to achieve his. The beauty is that Im living to achieve mine 2006: 288. John has great expectation placed upon him by his family and suicide seems to only way out for him. His death is an important part of Josephines discovery process as she comes to realize that though she comes from middle class family, she is free to pursue any sort of life that she wants. Johns life, however, was pre-ordained and he had to die in order to achieve his emancipation. Josephine also realizes that her problems are not that big as compared to John Barton’s problems. Here, she learns John Barton’s life is more complicated than originally perceived. I felt guilty in a way. Because I go on so much about my problems, but compared to all the other lonely people out there, I’m the luckiest person in the world 2006: 163. The change of her perspective toward her own problem also can be seen from her own speech below. “I hated being illegitimate. I always did until the other day when I realized it was nothing”2006: 280. The suicide of John Barton is major turning point in Josephine’s path to maturity. At the beginning, John Barton represents where Josephine wants to be. She believes that materialism, wealth and social standing make people happy. John’s suicide brings enlightenment to Josephine that someone can feel alone and feel misunderstood regardless of his or her background. Now she realizes “that wealth and social status dont equal happiness” 2006: 281. Interaction between John and Josephine teaches Josephine that the priority that she puts on elite success such as becoming a barrister, getting top marks in the HSC, winning debates and public speaking competitions, being school captain, etc. means nothing if she does not have the freedom to make her own way in life. His death shows her that she does have such freedom. It can be seen from the following speech of Josephine. But the day John died was a nosedive day and I hit the ground so hard that I feel as if every part of me hurts. I remembered when we spoke about our emancipation. The horror is that he had to die to achieve this. The beauty is that I’m living to achieve mine 2006: 288. Josephine mentions about emancipation in her speech after acknowledges the death of John Barton. What Josephine means of emancipation is about achieving freedom in this life. From the outside, John’s life seems perfectly fine and very polished. Every one in the city know and respect him and his family and no one talk bad things about him. Though John comes from wealthy upbringing, it is not directly ensure him for being happy and free from worry and frustation. He also has a very heavy burden in his shoulder which is achieving his father’s expectation and his father’s dreams. John has everything, but the sad thing is he does not have his own dream and does not have