The Brian Tracy eBook - Principles Of Success

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Abou t Br ia n Tr a cy

Brian Tracy is one of t he world's leading aut horit ies on personal and business success. His fast - m oving t alks and sem inars on leadership, sales, m anagerial effect iveness and business st rat egy are loaded w it h pow erful, proven ideas and st rat egies t hat people can apply im m ediat ely t o get bet t er result s in every area.

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21 Success Secret s Of Self

Made Millionaires .

Ch a pt e r s

A Ba la n ce d Life • Be com in g A Pe r son Of I n t e gr it y • Cu lt iva t in g You r Se lf- Est e e m • Em pow e r in g Ot h e r s • Eve r yon e ’s A Sa le s Pe r son • Ga in in g Visibilit y • Ge n e r a t in g En e r gy • Le a din g & M ot iv a t in g • M a k e Eve r y M in u t e Cou n t • M a k in g Th e M ost Of Ch a n ge • M a n a gin g You r Tim e • Se t t in g Pr ior it ie s • Th e Pow e r Of Ch a r ism a

• Th e Pow e r Of Posit ive Se lf Ta lk

Br ia n Tr a cy ’s a r t icle s a r e t h e pr ope r t y of Br ia n Tr a cy I n t e r n a t ion a l – All Righ t s Re se r v e d

A Ba la n ce d Life

By: Brian Tracy

According t o psychologist Sidney Jourard, fully 85 percent of your happiness in life will com e from your personal relat ionships. Your int eract ions and t he t im e t hat you spend wit h t he people you care about will be t he m aj or source of t he pleasure, enj oym ent and sat isfact ion t hat you derive daily. The ot her 15 percent of your happiness will com e from your accom plishm ent s. Unfort unat ely, m any people lose sight of what is t ruly im port ant , and t hey allow t he t ail t o wag t he dog. They sacrifice t heir relat ionships, t heir m aj or source of happiness, t o accom plish m ore in t heir careers. But one’s career, at best , can be only a m inor source  and a t em porary one, at t hat  of t he happiness and sat isfact ion t hat everyone want s.

There is no perfect answer t o t he key quest ion of how t o achieve balance in our lives, but t here are a num ber of ideas t hat can help you t o be and have and do m ore in t he areas t hat are im port ant t o you. These ideas oft en require changes and m odificat ions in t he way you t hink and use your t im e, but t he price is well wort h it . You will find t hat by reorganizing your life in lit t le ways, you can creat e an exist ence t hat gives you t he highest qualit y and quant it y of sat isfact ion overall. And t his m ust be your guiding purpose.

The ancient Greeks had t wo fam ous sayings: “ Man, know t hyself” and “ Moderat ion in all t hings.” Taken t oget her, t hose t wo ideas are a good st art ing point for achieving t he balance t hat you desire. Wit h regard t o knowing t hyself, it is very im port ant t o give som e serious t hought t o what you really value in life. All t rade- offs and choices are based on your values, and all st ress and unhappiness com e from believing and valuing one t hing and, yet , finding yourself doing anot her. Only when your values and your act ivit ies are congruent do you feel happy and at peace wit h yourself.

So knowing yourself m eans knowing what you really value, knowing what is really im port ant t o you. The superior m an or wom an decides what is right before he or she decides what is possible. The advanced hum an being organizes his or her life t o assure t hat everyt hing t hat he or she is doing is consist ent wit h his or her t rue values. I t is essent ial for you t o organize your life around yourself, rat her t han t o organize yourself around t he dem ands of your ext ernal world.

The second quot e, “ Moderat ion in all t hings,” is a wonderful and im port ant dict at e for successful living. But , at t he sam e t im e, you know t hat you can’t really be successful in any area by being m oderat e in t hat area. Pet er Drucker once wrot e, “ Wherever you find som et hing get t ing done, you find a m onom aniac wit h a m ission.” You know t hat single- m inded concent rat ion on a goal or obj ect ive is absolut ely necessary for achievem ent of any kind in a com pet it ive societ y.

So what ’s t he solut ion? Over t he years, I have worked wit h t ens of t housands of m en and wom en who have spent a lot of t im e and effort st ruggling t o achieve balance in t heir lives. I have found t hat t here is a sim ple form ula; it is sim ple in t hat it is easy t o explain, but you need t rem endous self- discipline and persist ence t o im plem ent it in your life.

The form ula revolves around a concept of t im e m anagem ent , or what you m ight want t o call life m anagem ent . Tim e m anagem ent is really a form of personal m anagem ent in which you organize your 24 hours a day in such a way t hat t hey give

The key t o t im e m anagem ent , aft er you have det erm ined your values and t he goals t hat are in harm ony wit h t hose values, is t o set bot h priorit ies and post eriorit ies. The im port ance of set t ing priorit ies is obvious. You m ake a list of all t he t hings t hat you can possibly do and t hen select from t hat list t he t hings t hat are m ost im port ant t o you based on everyt hing you know about yourself, about ot hers and about your responsibilit ies. The set t ing of post eriorit ies is oft en overlooked. I t is when you carefully decide which t hings you are going t o st op doing so t hat you will have enough t im e t o st art doing som et hing else.

The great est single short age we experience in Am erica t oday is t hat of t im e. We suffer from what has been called “ t im e povert y.” Men and wom en everywhere feel t hat t heir biggest single challenge is t hat t hey sim ply do not have enough t im e t o do all t he t hings t hat t hey have t o do or want t o do. People t oday feel pressured from all sides and are under an inordinat e am ount of st ress. They feel overworked, fat igued and incapable of fulfilling all t he responsibilit ies t hat t hey have t aken on.

The st art ing point t o alleviat e t his t im e povert y is t o st op and t hink. Most people are so busy rushing back and fort h t hat t hey seldom t ake t he t im e t o t hink seriously about who t hey are and why t hey are doing what t hey are doing. They engage in frant ic act ivit y, inst ead of t hought ful analysis. They get so busy clim bing t he ladder of success t hat t hey lose sight of t he fact t hat t he ladder m ay be leaning against t he wrong building.

When m y wife, Barbara, and I st art ed our fam ily, we were faced wit h a com m on dilem m a: how can we balance t he dem ands of work and hom e wit h t he finit e am ount of t im e we are all given?

Here’s t he answer I discovered: The key t o success in a busy societ y is t o devot e your t im e t o only t wo areas during t he period of t im e when your fam ily needs you, when your children are bet ween t he ages of birt h t o about 18 t o 20 years. During t his period of t im e, you need t o curt ail virt ually all of your out side act ivit ies. You need t o focus on t wo m aj or areas  your fam ily and your career  as I have done over t he years. You need t o place your fam ily’s needs above all else and t hen organize your work schedule so t hat you can sat isfy t hose needs on a regular basis. Then, when you work, you m ust concent rat e single- m indedly on doing an excellent j ob.

Most people are t im e wast ers. They wast e t heir own t im e, and t hey wast e your t im e as well. To be successful and happy, you m ust discipline yourself t o work all t he t im e you work. The average em ployee works at about 50 percent of capacit y. Fully 80 percent of people working t oday are underem ployed in t hat t heir j obs do not really dem and t heir full capacit ies. Only 5 percent of workers surveyed recent ly felt t hat t hey were working at t he out side lim it s of t heir pot ent ials.

But t his is not for you. You m ust resolve t o work all t he t im e you work. You m ust decide t hat from t he t im e you st art in t he m orning unt il t he t im e you finish in t he evening, you will work 100 percent of t he t im e. Even if no one is wat ching you, you should be aware t hat everyone is wat ching you. Everybody knows everyt hing. I n every com pany, everyone knows who is working and who is not . Your j ob m ust be t o work all t he t im e you work. I f people com e by and want t o chat , you sim ply sm ile at t hem and say, “ Could we t alk about t his lat er?” Tell t hem t hat you have t o get back t o work.

Have a writ t en list , and work on your list every day. Writ e down everyt hing as it com es up, and add it t o your list . Set priorit ies on your t im e, and be cert ain t hat you are working on t he t hings t hat are m ost im port ant t o your boss and t o your com pany. Refuse t o get drawn int o t he t im e- wast ing act ivit ies of t he people around you. Work all t he t im e you work.

Rem em ber t hat t o be successful, you m ust becom e a m onom aniac wit h a m ission. This is t rue t oday, and it has always been t rue in our com pet it ive societ y. To be successful at your j ob, you m ust work fast and efficient ly and nonst op all t he t im e you are on t he payroll. You m ust becom e an expert at t im e m anagem ent . You m ust becom e so efficient and effect ive t hat you get t wice as m uch done as anyone else. I n t his way, you will advance your career at t he fast est rat e possible, and you will also be on t op of your j ob m ost of t he t im e, and it will be unnecessary for you t o t ake work hom e for t he evenings and weekends.

Then, when you have finished your work, you can devot e your full at t ent ion t o your fam ily and t o t he ot her im port ant people in your life. The Bible says, “ A double- m inded m an is unst able in all his ways.” One of t he m eanings of t his is t hat if you are t hinking about your work while you are wit h your fam ily, or if you are t hinking about your fam ily when you are at work, you end up accom plishing far less in each area. However, if you are on t op of your work, when you com e hom e you can devot e yourself single- m indedly  again, like a m onom aniac  t o your relat ionships and t o enhancing t he qualit y of your int eract ions wit h t he m ost im port ant people in your life.

The key t o a happy fam ily life is com m unicat ion. And it is not qualit y of t im e but quant it y of t im e t hat count s. Qualit y m om ent s  t hose lit t le m om ent s t hat are precious and im port ant  com e unbidden and, usually, unexpect edly. They arise during t he process of spending a large quant it y of unint errupt ed t im e wit h one or m ore people. You cannot dict at e t hose m om ent s in advance. You cannot decide t o have qualit y t im e. You do not go t o it . I t com es t o you.

There are a variet y of ways t o ext ract t he great est am ount of qualit y and happiness from your relat ionships wit h t he m em bers of your fam ily. Perhaps t he m ost im port ant is t o spend unbroken t im e wit h your spouse on a daily basis. Of course, you should spend t im e t oget her t alking aft er t he children have gone t o bed, but you should also seek out and ut ilize sm all segm ent s of t im e during t he m orning and early evening during which you can com m unicat e and int eract . One of t he m ost im port ant t hings t hat couples can do is spend t he first 30 t o 60 m inut es aft er work debriefing each ot her and discussing t he day’s act ivit ies.

Your children also have a t rem endous need t o com m unicat e wit h you. I n fact , in m y research on how t o raise super kids, I found t hat t he one fact or t hat was m ore im port ant t han any ot her was t he am ount of one- on- one t im e t hat t he parent s spent wit h t he children. When parent s don’t spend a lot of t im e wit h t heir children individually, t hey send a m essage t o t heir children t hat t hey are not very valuable or im port ant . Children t hen react by experiencing feelings of inferiorit y, lowered self- est eem , and negat ive self- im ages, and t his is expressed in poor grades and behavioral problem s. But when t he parent s t ake t he t im e t o sit down wit h t heir children and ask quest ions and list en t o what is going on in t heir m inds, t he children t end t o feel a deep sense of value and im port ance t hat is m anifest ed in self- confidence, happiness, and good relat ionships wit h ot hers.

The key is learning t o use your t im e bet t er. You cannot get m ore hours out of each day, but you can put m ore of yourself int o each of t hose hours. Turn off t he t elevision and spend t im e t alking wit h t he m em bers of your fam ily. Never read newspaper of books when a m em ber of your fam ily want s t o com m unicat e wit h you. Put t he reading m at erial aside. Concent rat e single- m indedly on t he m ost im port ant people in your world. Everyt hing else can wait .

I n regard t o your work and fam ily, cont inually ask yourself, “ What is t he m ost valuable use of m y t im e right now?” Consider if what you are doing t oday will m at t er a week or a year from t oday. Som et im es, we becom e preoccupied wit h sm all t hings t hat are not really im port ant in t he long run. But what is im port ant in t he long run is t he qualit y of our hom e life.

You don’t have t o be a superm an or superwom an t o properly balance t he dem ands of your work and t he needs of your fam ily. You m ust , however, be m ore t hought ful, be a bet t er planner, use your t im e m ore effect ively, and cont inually t hink of ways t o enhance t he qualit y of your life in bot h areas. I f you set t his as a goal and resolve t o work t oward it every day, you will gradually becom e far m ore efficient , far m ore effect ive, and a far happier hum an being. And t hat ’s t he m ost im port ant t hing of all.

Becom ing a Person of I nt egrit y By: Br ia n Tr a cy

I nt egrit y is a value, like persist ence, courage and indust riousness. Even m ore t han t hat , it is t he value t hat guarant ees all t he ot her values. You are a good person t o t he degree t o w hich you live your life consist ent w it h t he highest values t hat you espouse. I nt egrit y is t he qualit y t hat locks in your values and causes you t o live consist ent w it h t hem .

I nt egrit y is t he foundat ion of charact er. And charact er developm ent is one of t he m ost im port ant act ivit ies you can engage in. Working on your charact er m eans disciplining yourself t o do m ore and m ore of t hose t hings t hat a t horoughly honest person would do, under all circum st ances.

To be im peccably honest w it h ot hers, you m ust first be im peccably honest w it h yourself. You m ust be t rue t o yourself. You m ust be t rue t o t he very best t hat is in you, t o t he very best t hat you know. Only a person w ho is living consist ent w it h his or her highest values and virt ues is really living a life of int egrit y. And when you com m it t o living t his kind of life, you will find yourself cont inually raising your own st andards, cont inually refining your definit ion of int egrit y and honest y.

You can t ell how high your level of int egrit y is by sim ply looking at t he t hings you do in your day- t o- day life. You can look at your react ions and responses t o t he inevit able ups and dow ns of life. You can observe t he behaviors you t ypically engage in and you will t hen know t he person you are.

The ext ernal m anifest at ion of high int egrit y is high- qualit y work. A person who is t ot ally honest wit h him self or herself will be som eone who does, or st rives t o do, excellent work on every occasion. The t ot ally honest person recognizes, som et im es unconsciously, t hat everyt hing he or she does is a st at em ent about who he or she really is as a person.

When you st art a lit t le earlier, work a lit t le harder, st ay a lit t le lat er and concent rat e on every det ail, you are pract icing int egrit y in your w ork. And whet her you know it or not , your t rue level of int egrit y is apparent and obvious t o everyone around you.

Perhaps t he m ost im port ant rule you will ever learn is t hat your life only becom es bet t er w hen you becom e bet t er.

All of life is lived from t he inside out . At t he very core of your personalit y lie your values about yourself and life in general. Your values det erm ine t he kind of person you really are. What you believe has defined your charact er and your personalit y. I t is what you st and for, and what you won’t st and for, t hat t ells you and t he w orld t he kind of person you have becom e.

Ask yourself t his quest ion: What are your five m ost im port ant values in life? Your answer will reveal an enorm ous am ount about you. What would you pay for, sacrifice for, suffer for and even die for? What would you st and up for, or refuse t o lie dow n for? What are t he values t hat you hold m ost dear? Think t hese quest ions t hrough carefully and, w hen you get a chance, w rit e dow n your answers.

Here’s anot her way of asking t hat quest ion. What m en and wom en, living or dead, do you m ost adm ire? Once you pick t hree or four m en or w om en, t he next quest ion is: Why do you adm ire t hem ? What values, qualit ies, or virt ues do t hey have t hat you respect and look up t o? Can you art iculat e t hose qualit ies? What is a qualit y possessed by hum an beings in general t hat you m ost respect ? This is t he st art ing point for det erm ining your values. The answers t o t hese quest ions form t he foundat ion of your charact er and your personalit y.

Once you have det erm ined your five m aj or values, you should now organize t hem in order of im port ance. What is your first , m ost im port ant value? What is your second value? What is your t hird value? And so on. Ranking your values is one of t he very best and fast est ways t o define your charact er.

Rem em ber, a higher order value will always t ake precedence over a lower order value. Whenever you are forced t o choose bet ween act ing on one value or anot her, you always choose t he value t hat is t he highest on your own personal hierarchy.

Who you are, in your heart , is evidenced by what you do on a day- t o- day basis, especially when you are pushed int o a posit ion where you have t o m ake a choice bet ween t wo values or alt ernat ives.

Ralph Waldo Em erson said, “ Guard your integrity as a sacred thing.” I n study after study, the quality of integrity, or a person’s adherence to values, ranks as the num ber one quality sought in every field. When it com es to determ ining whom they will do business with, custom ers rank the honesty of a salesperson as the m ost im portant single quality. Even if a they feel that a salesperson’s product, quality and price is superior, custom ers will not buy from that salesperson if they feel that he or she is lacking in honesty and character.

Likewise, int egrit y is t he num ber one qualit y of leadership. I nt egrit y in leadership is expressed in t erm s of const ancy and consist ency. I t is m anifest ed in an absolut e devot ion t o keeping one’s w ord. The glue t hat holds all relat ionships t oget her—including t he relat ionship bet w een t he leader and t he led—is t rust , and t rust is based on int egrit y.

I nt egrit y is so im port ant t hat funct ioning in our societ y w ould be im possible w it hout it . We could not m ake even a sim ple purchase w it hout a high level of confidence t hat t he price was honest and t hat t he change was correct . The m ost successful individuals and com panies in Am erica are t hose wit h reput at ions of high int egrit y am ong everyone t hey deal wit h. This level of int egrit y builds t he confidence t hat ot hers have in t hem and enables t hem t o do m ore business t han t heir com pet it ors whose et hics m ay be a lit t le shaky.

Earl Night ingale once w rot e, “ I f honest y did not exist , it would have t o be invent ed, as it is t he surest way of get t ing rich.” A st udy at Harvard Universit y concluded t hat t he m ost valuable asset t hat a com pany has is how it is known t o it s cust om ers  it s reput at ion.

By t he sam e t oken, your great est personal asset is t he way t hat you are known t o your cust om ers. I t is your personal reput at ion for keeping your word and fulfilling your com m it m ent s. Your int egrit y precedes you and affect s all of your int eract ions w it h ot her people.

There are several t hings you can do t o m ove you m ore rapidly t oward becom ing t he kind of person t hat you know you are capable of becom ing. The first , as I m ent ioned, is t o decide upon your five m ost im port ant values in life. Organize t hem in order of priorit y. Then w rit e a brief paragraph defining w hat each of t hose values m eans t o you. A value com bined w it h a definit ion becom es an organizing principle  a st at em ent t hat you can use t o help you m ake bet t er decisions. I t is a m easure and st andard w hich enables you t o know how closely you are adhering t o your innerm ost beliefs and convict ions.

The second step to developing integrity and character in yourself is to study m en and wom en of great character. Study the lives and stories of people like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Florence Nightingale, Susan B. Anthony and Margaret Thatcher. Study the people whose strength of character enabled them to change their world. As you read, think about how they would behave if they were facing the difficulties that you face.

Napoleon Hill, in his book, The Master Key to Riches, tells about how he created an im aginary board of personal advisors m ade up of great figures of history. He chose people like Napoleon, Lincoln, Jesus, and Alexander the Great. Whenever he had to m ake a decision, he would relax deeply and then im agine that the m em bers of his advisory council were sitting at a large table in front of him . He would then ask them what he should do to deal effectively with a particular situation. I n tim e, they would begin to give him answers, observations, and insights that helped him to see m ore clearly and act m ore effectively.

You can do the sam e thing. Select som eone that you very m uch adm ire for their qualities of courage, tenacity, honesty, or wisdom . Ask yourself, “ What would Jesus do in m y situation?” or, “ What would Lincoln do if he were here at this tim e?” You will find yourself with guidance that enables you to be the very best person that you can possible

be.

The third and m ost im portant step in building your integrity has to do with form ulating your approach based on the psychology of hum an behavior. We know that if you feel a particular way, you will act in a m anner consistent with that feeling. For The third and m ost im portant step in building your integrity has to do with form ulating your approach based on the psychology of hum an behavior. We know that if you feel a particular way, you will act in a m anner consistent with that feeling. For

But we also know that you don’t always start off feeling the way you want to. However, because of the Law of Reversibility, if you act as if you had a particular feeling, the action will generate the feeling consistent with it. You can, in effect, act your way into feeling. You can “ fake it until you m ake it.”

You can becom e a superior hum an being by consciously act ing exact ly as t he kind of person t hat you would m ost like t o becom e. I f you behave like an individual of int egrit y, courage, resolut ion, persist ence and charact er, you will soon creat e wit hin yourself t he m ent al st ruct ure and habit s of such a person. Your act ions will becom e your realit y. You will creat e a personalit y t hat is consist ent wit h your highest aspirat ions.

The m ore you w alk, t alk, and behave consist ent w it h your highest values, t he m ore you will like yourself and t he bet t er you will feel about yourself. Your self- im age will im prove and your level of self- accept ance will go up. You will feel st ronger, bolder, and m ore capable of facing any challenge.

There are t hree prim ary areas of your life where act ing wit h int egrit y is crucial. These are t he t hree areas of great est t em pt at ion for forsaking your int egrit y, as well as t he areas of great est opport unit y for building your int egrit y. When you list en t o your inner voice and do w hat you know t o be t he right t hing in each of t hese areas, you will have a sense of peace and sat isfact ion t hat will lead you on t o success and high achievem ent .

The first area of int egrit y has t o do wit h your relat ionships wit h your fam ily and your friends, t he people close t o you. Being t rue t o yourself m eans living in t rut h wit h each person in your life. I t m eans refusing t o say or do som et hing t hat you don’t believe is right . Living in t rut h w it h ot her people m eans t hat you refuse t o st ay in any sit uat ion w here you are unhappy w it h t he behavior of anot her person. You refuse t o t olerat e it . You refuse t o com prom ise.

Psychologist s have det erm ined t hat m ost st ress and negat ivit y com es from at t em pt ing t o live in a w ay t hat is not congruent w it h your highest values. I t is w hen your life is out of alignm ent  w hen you are doing and saying one t hing on t he out side, but really feeling and believing som et hing different on t he inside  t hat you feel m ost unhappy. When you decide t o becom e an individual of charact er and int egrit y, your first act ion will be t o neut ralize or rem ove all difficult relat ionships from your life.

This doesn’t m ean t hat you have t o go and hit som ebody over t he head w it h a st ick. I t sim ply m eans t hat you honest ly confront anot her person and t ell t hem t hat you are not happy. Tell t hem t hat you w ould like t o reorganize t his relat ionship so t hat you feel m ore cont ent and sat isfied. I f t he ot her person is not willing t o m ake adj ust m ent s so t hat you can be happy, it should be clear t o you t hat you don’t w ant t o be in t his relat ionship m uch longer anyway.

The second area of int egrit y has t o do wit h your at t it ude and behavior t oward m oney. Casualness t ow ard m oney brings casualt ies in your financial life. You m ust

be fast idious about your t reat m ent of m oney, especially ot her people’s m oney. You m ust guard your credit rat ing t he sam e w ay you w ould guard your honor. You m ust be fast idious about your t reat m ent of m oney, especially ot her people’s m oney. You m ust guard your credit rat ing t he sam e w ay you w ould guard your honor. You m ust

The t hird area of int egrit y has t o do w it h your com m it m ent s t o ot hers, especially in your business, your work and your sales act ivit ies. Always keep your word. Be a m an or a wom an of honor. I f you say t hat you will do som et hing, do it . I f you m ake

a prom ise, keep it . I f you m ake a com m it m ent , fulfill it . Be known as t he kind of person t hat can be t rust ed absolut ely, no m at t er w hat t he circum st ances.

Your int egrit y is m anifest ed in your willingness t o adhere t o t he values you hold m ost dear. I t ’s easy t o m ake prom ises and hard t o keep t hem , but if you do, every single act of int egrit y will m ake your charact er a lit t le st ronger. And as you im prove t he qualit y and st rengt h of your charact er, every ot her part of your life will im prove as well.

Cu lt iva t in g You r Se lf- Est e e m

By: Br ia n Tr a cy

Your self- est eem is probably t he m ost im port ant part of your personalit y. I t precedes and predict s your perform ance in alm ost everyt hing you do. I t is t he energy source or t he react or core of your personalit y, and how m uch self- est eem you have det erm ines your levels of vit alit y, ent husiasm and personal m agnet ism . People wit h high self- est eem are m ore posit ive, m ore likable and m ore effect ive in every part of t heir lives.

Everyt hing t hat you do or say or t hink will affect your self- est eem . Your j ob, t herefore, is t o keep your self- est eem high and posit ive on a cont inuing basis.

Probably t he best definit ion of self- est eem is t his: t he level t o which you respect and value yourself as an im port ant , wort hwhile person. People wit h high self- est eem feel t errific about t hem selves and t heir lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you t end t o be t he very best person you can possibly be.

Your level of self- est eem is really your level of “ m ent al fit ness.” I t ’s a m easure of how healt hy, hardy, and resilient you are in dealing wit h t he inevit able ups and dow ns of daily life. Your self- est eem det erm ines how m uch peace of m ind and inner cont ent m ent you experience. I t is also closely linked t o your healt h and levels of energy. People wit h high self- est eem are seldom sick and seem t o have an inexhaust ible flow of energy and ent husiasm t hat progressively m oves t hem t ow ard t heir goals.

How m uch you like and respect yourself also det erm ines t he qualit y of your relat ionships wit h people. The m ore you like and enj oy yourself, t he m ore you will like and enj oy ot hers, and t he m ore t hey will like you. I n fact , when your self- est eem is hurt in any way, t he very first t hing t hat is affect ed is t he way you get along wit h people.

To perform at your best and t o feel t errific about yourself, you should be in a perpet ual st at e of self- est eem building and m aint enance. Just as you t ake responsibilit y for your level of physical fit ness, you need t o t ake com plet e responsibilit y for t he cont ent and qualit y of your m ind.

I have developed a sim ple form ula t hat cont ains all t he crit ical elem ent s of self- est eem building, and you can use it on a regular basis t o assure m axim um perform ance.

This form ula is com prised of six basic elem ent s. They are: goals, st andards, success experiences, com parison wit h ot hers, recognit ion, and rewards. Let ’s t ake t hem one at a t im e.

How m uch you like and respect yourself is direct ly affect ed by your goals. The very act of set t ing big, challenging goals for yourself and m aking w rit t en plans of act ion t o achieve t hem act ually raises your self- est eem , which causes you t o feel m uch bet t er about yourself.

Self- est eem is a condit ion you experience when you are m oving st ep- by- st ep t ow ard t he accom plishm ent of som et hing t hat is im port ant t o you. For t hat reason, it ’s really im port ant t o have clear goals for each part of your life and t o cont inually work t oward achieving t hose goals. Each progressive st ep causes your self- est eem t o go up and m akes you feel m ore posit ive and effect ive in everyt hing else you do.

The second elem ent in self- est eem building is having clear st andards and values t o w hich you are com m it t ed. Men and w om en w it h high self- est eem are very clear about w hat t hey believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and t he m ore com m it t ed you are t o living your life consist ent w it h t hose values and ideals, t he m ore you will like and respect yourself, and t he higher your self- est eem will be.

Last ing self- est eem com es only when your goals and your values are congruent — t hat is, w hen t hey fit int o each ot her like a hand int o a glove. Much of t he st ress t hat people experience com es from believing one t hing and t rying t o do anot her. But when your goals and values are in harm ony wit h each ot her, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well- being, and t hat ’s when you st art t o m ake real progress.

Many people t ell m e t hat t hey are unhappy w it h t heir j ob because t hey can’t seem t o achieve success no m at t er how hard t hey t ry. I always ask t hem if t hey are doing w hat t hey really care about and believe in. I n m any cases, people realize t hat t hey are not happy w it h t heir j ob because it is t he w rong kind of w ork for t hem . Once t hey change j obs and st art doing som et hing t hat t hey really enj oy, som et hing t hat is m ore consist ent w it h t heir innerm ost convict ions, t hey st art t o m ake real progress and get a lot of sat isfact ion out of t heir w ork.

The t hird elem ent in self- est eem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and st andards, it is im port ant t hat you m ake t hem m easurable so t hat you can keep score of your sm all and large successes along t he way. The very act of set t ing up a goal, breaking it down int o sm aller part s, and t hen com plet ing t hose part s m akes you feel like a winner and causes your self- est eem t o go up. But rem em ber t hat you can’t hit a t arget you can’t see. You can’t feel like a w inner unless you clearly lay out t he st andards by w hich you are going t o m easure your success and t hen achieve t hose st andards.

Let ’s say t hat you set a goal t o sell a cert ain am ount or earn a cert ain am ount of incom e in a given year. I f you break t hat down int o m ont hly and weekly goals, and t hen you achieve t he first of t hose goals, you will feel great about yourself. Each t im e you reach anot her m ilest one, your self- est eem and abilit y t o perform will increase, and you will feel encouraged and ent husiast ic about t he next challenge.

The fourt h elem ent of self- est eem is com parison wit h ot hers. Leon Fest inger of Harvard Universit y concluded t hat in det erm ining how w ell w e are doing, w e do not com pare ourselves wit h abst ract st andards, but , rat her, we com pare ourselves wit h people we know. To feel like a winner, you m ust know for sure t hat you are doing as w ell as or bet t er t han som eone else. The m ore you know about how w ell t he ot hers in your field are doing, and t he m ore favorably you com pare wit h t hem , t he m ore you will feel like a winner, and t he higher your self- est eem will be.

Successful people cont inually com pare t hem selves wit h ot her successful people. They t hink about t hem and read about t hem and st udy t heir perform ances, and t hen t hey work t o surpass t hem one st ep at a t im e. Event ually, successful people reach t he point where t hey com pet e only wit h t hem selves and wit h t heir past accom plishm ent s. But t his com es aft er t hey have m oved t o t he t op and left m any of t heir com pet it ors behind.

The next elem ent for self- est eem is recognit ion of your accom plishm ent s by people w hom you respect . To feel really great about yourself, you need t he recognit ion of people you look up t o and adm ire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accom plishm ent by som eone w hose opinion you hold in high regard, your self- est eem goes up, along wit h your eagerness and ent husiasm t o do even bet t er on t he j ob.

The final elem ent of self- est eem involves rewards t hat are consist ent wit h your accom plishm ent s. You m ay w ork in a field w here you receive financial bonuses, st at us sym bols—larger offices, bigger cars—or even plaques and t rophies for superior achievem ent . All of t hose sym bols can have an incredible im pact on raising your self- est eem and causing you t o feel t errific about yourself.

I f, how ever, your exist ing sit uat ion does not offer t he t angible or int angible rewards t hat are necessary for you t o build and m aint ain your self- est eem , you m ust creat e rew ards for yourself. One of t he sm art est t hings you can do is t o design a syst em for giving yourself rewards for bot h sm all and large accom plishm ent s as you m ove progressively t oward your goals. For exam ple, people who do t elephone prospect ing will oft en t reat t hem selves t o a cup of coffee aft er every 10 calls. Aft er

25 calls, t hey will reward t hem selves wit h a walk around t he building or t he block. Aft er 50 calls, t hey will go out t o lunch. Each of t hose rewards serves as an incent ive t hat m ot ivat es t hem t o repeat t he perform ance. The end result is success, ent husiasm , and high self- est eem .

Whet her or not your current environm ent provides t he six elem ent s of self- est eem building—goals, st andards, success experiences, com parison wit h ot hers, recognit ion, and rew ards—you need t o est ablish your own st ruct ure and t ake full responsibilit y for building yourself up on a regular basis.

Of course, it is possible t o like yourself in t he abst ract , t o t hink of yourself as a valuable and wort hwhile person, but t his t ends t o be a very shaky form of self- est eem t hat is easily knocked down by a negat ive experience or a t em porary disappoint m ent . The only real way for you t o absolut ely know t hat you are a valuable and wort hwhile person is for you t o m ake t he effort , overcom e t he obst acles and pay t he price t o bring t hese elem ent s int o your life. When you have t hat foundat ion, you will experience a form of m ent al fit ness and unshakable opt im ism t hat will sust ain you t hrough failure and propel you t o success.

Em pow e r ing Ot he r s

By: Brian Tracy

Once you know how t o em power people, how t o m ot ivat e and inspire t hem , t hey will want t o work wit h you t o help you achieve your goals in everyt hing you do. Your abilit y t o enlist t he knowledge, energy and resources of ot hers enables you t o becom e a m ult iplicat ion sign, t o leverage yourself so t hat you accom plish far m ore t han t he average person and in a far short er period of t im e.

There are t hree t ypes of people t hat you want t o and need t o em power on a regular basis. They are, first of all, t he people closest t o you: your fam ily, your friends, your spouse and your children. Second are your work relat ionships: your st aff, your coworkers, your peers, your colleagues and even your boss. Third are all t he ot her people t hat you int eract wit h in your day- t o- day life: your cust om ers, your suppliers, your banker, t he people wit h whom you deal in st ores, rest aurant s, airplanes, hot els and everywhere else. I n each case, your abilit y t o get people t o help you is what will m ake you a m ore powerful and effect ive person.

Em power m eans “ put t ing power int o,” and it can also m ean “ bringing energy and ent husiasm out of.” So t he first st ep in em powering people is t o refrain from doing anyt hing t hat disem powers t hem or reduces t heir energy and ent husiasm for what t hey are doing.

Wit h regard t o t he first group, t hose people closest t o you, t here are several sim ple t hings t hat you can do every single day t o em power t hem and m ake t hem feel good

about t hem selves.

The deepest need t hat each person has is for self- est eem , a sense of being im port ant , valuable, and wort hwhile. Everyt hing t hat you do in your int eract ions wit h ot hers affect s t heir self- est eem in som e way. You already have an excellent fram e of reference t o det erm ine t he t hings t hat you can do t o boost t he self- est eem and t herefore t he sense of personal power of t hose around you. Give t hem what you’d like for yourself.

Perhaps t he sim plest way t o m ake anot her person feel good about him self or herself is your cont inuous expressions of appreciat ion for everyt hing t hat person does for you, large or sm all. Say “ t hank you” on every occasion. Thank your spouse for everyt hing t hat he or she does for you. Thank your children for t heir cooperat ion and support in everyt hing t hat t hey do around t he house. Thank your friends for t he sm allest of kindnesses. The m ore you t hank ot her people for doing t hings for you, t he m ore t hings t hose ot her people will want t o do.

Every t im e you t hank anot her person, you cause t hat person t o like t hem selves bet t er. You raise t heir self- est eem and im prove t heir self- im age. You cause t hem t o feel m ore im port ant . You m ake t hem feel t hat what t hey did was valuable and wort hwhile. You em power t hem .

And t he wonderful t hing about t hanking ot her people is t hat , every t im e you say t he words “ t hank you,” you like yourself bet t er as well. You feel bet t er inside. You feel happier and m ore cont ent wit h yourself and life. You feel m ore fully int egrat ed and And t he wonderful t hing about t hanking ot her people is t hat , every t im e you say t he words “ t hank you,” you like yourself bet t er as well. You feel bet t er inside. You feel happier and m ore cont ent wit h yourself and life. You feel m ore fully int egrat ed and

The second way t o m ake people feel im port ant , t o raise t heir self- est eem and give t hem a sense of power and energy, is by t he generous use of praise and approval. Psychological t est s show t hat , when children are praised by t he people t hat t hey look up t o, t heir energy levels rise, t heir heart rat es and respirat ory rat es increase and t hey feel happier about t hem selves overall.

Perhaps t he m ost valuable lesson in Ken Blanchard’s book The One Minut e Manager is his recom m endat ion t o be giving “ one- m inut e praisings” at every opport unit y. I f you go around your hom e and t hrough your social relat ionships praising and giving genuine and honest approval t o people for t heir accom plishm ent s, large and sm all, you will be am azed at how m uch m ore people like you and how m uch m ore willing t hey are t o help you achieve your goals.

There is a psychological law of reciprocit y t hat says, “ I f you m ake m e feel good about m yself, I will find a way t o m ake you feel good about yourself.” I n ot her words, people will always look for ways t o reciprocat e your kindnesses t oward t hem . When you look for every opport unit y t o do and say t hings t hat m ake ot her people feel good about t hem selves, you will be ast onished at not only how good you feel, but at t he wonderful t hings t hat begin t o happen all around you.

The t hird way t o em power ot hers, t o build t heir self- est eem and m ake t hem feel im port ant is sim ply t o pay close at t ent ion t o t hem when t hey t alk. The great m aj orit y of people are so busy t rying t o be heard t hat t hey becom e im pat ient when ot hers are t alking. But t his is not for you. Rem em ber, t he m ost im port ant single act ivit y t hat t akes place over t im e is list ening int ent ly t o t he ot her person when he or she is t alking and expressing him self or herself.

Again, t he t hree general rules for em powering t he people around you, which apply t o everyone you m eet , are appreciat ion, approval, and at t ent ion. Voice your t hanks and grat it ude t o ot hers on every occasion. Praise t hem for every accom plishm ent . And pay close at t ent ion t o t hem when t hey t alk and want t o int eract wit h you. These t hree behaviors alone will m ake you a m ast er of hum an int eract ion and will great ly em power t he people around you.

I t ’s cert ainly possible for you t o get t he cooperat ion of ot hers by t hreat ening or brow- beat ing t hem , but you will only get m inim al cooperat ion, m inim al out put , and m inim al assist ance. To m ove t o t he t op of your field, you m ust appeal t o people’s inner m ot ivat ions and drives, t heir deepest em ot ions.

What m ot ivat es people in t he world of work? The biggest m ot ivat or is clarit y. People need t o know exact ly what it is t hat t hey are supposed t o do. They need t o know why t hey are supposed t o do it and how it fit s int o t he big pict ure. They need t o know how it will be m easured, and when it is due. They need t o know what st andard of qualit y is expect ed and how t heir effort s affect t he work of ot hers. The great er t he clarit y t hat a person has about his or her assignm ent and t he order of priorit y in which it is t o be done, t he happier and m ore em powered he or she feels right from t he st art .

On t he ot her hand, t he biggest dem ot ivat or in t he world of work is not knowing what is expect ed. I t is being in t he dark about what is supposed t o be done and in On t he ot her hand, t he biggest dem ot ivat or in t he world of work is not knowing what is expect ed. I t is being in t he dark about what is supposed t o be done and in

The m ore t im e you spend t alking t o your people and invit ing t heir feedback and com m ent s on t he work, t he m ore em powered t hey will be t o do t he work well. The word we are t alking about in em powerm ent in work is t he word “ ownership.” Your j ob is t o t ransfer t he ownership int o t he heart and m ind of t he em ployee. When he or she feels personal ownership for a j ob and t he responsibilit y for doing it well, he or she will

be com plet ely em powered. This is one of t he m ost im port ant aspect s of t he art of m anagem ent .

Anot her m aj or m ot ivat or at work is considerat ion. Em ployees report t hat t he best m anagers t hey ever had were people who cared about t hem as people and as friends. These m anagers t ook t he t im e t o ask t hem quest ions about t heir lives, and t o list en pat ient ly while t hey t alked about t he dilem m as and problem s and sit uat ions in t heir fam ilies. The m ore t hat t he em ployees felt t hat t he boss liked t hem and respect ed t hem , t he m ore em powered and m ot ivat ed t hey felt .

The flip side of t his m ot ivat or is t he dem ot ivat ing feeling t hat t he boss doesn’t care. This is alm ost invariably expressed in a lack of recognit ion, a lack of approval, a lack of appreciat ion and a general failure t o pay at t ent ion t o t he em ployee over t im e.

Rem em ber, t he am ount of t im e t hat you spend t alking t o and list ening t o an em ployee is a signal t o t hat em ployee t hat he or she is im port ant t o you and t o t he com pany. This is why t he very best bosses spend a lot of t im e walking around and chat t ing wit h t heir em ployees. They sit wit h t hem for lunch and coffee. They invit e t heir com m ent s and encourage open discussion and disagreem ent s about work. They creat e an environm ent where people feel t hat t he work belongs t o t hem as well as t o t he com pany. I n t hat environm ent , em ployees feel good about t hem selves and m ore fully com m it t ed t o doing t he j ob and doing it well.

To em power and m ot ivat e t he t hird group of people, t he people around you, your cust om ers, your suppliers, your bankers and so on, you sim ply need t o pract ice what we’ve already t alked about . The m ost im port ant of all is t hat you be a genuine, posit ive and cheerful person. You develop a posit ive m ent al at t it ude. You be t he kind of person from whom , “ never is heard a discouraging word.” You are easygoing, genial, friendly, pat ient , t olerant and open m inded. You m ake people feel com fort able being around you.

Rem em ber, everyone is prim arily em ot ional. Everyt hing t hat people do, or refrain from doing, is t riggered by t heir deeper em ot ions. Your j ob is t o connect wit h t heir higher and m ore posit ive em ot ions so t hey feel so good about you t hey want t o help you and please you in som e way.

For exam ple, whenever you go int o a crowded rest aurant , or get on a busy plane, or go up t o a busy hot el desk, inst ead of becom ing im pat ient wit h t he slow rat e of service, you should put yourself in t he ot her person’s place, pract ice t he Golden Rule, and ask t hem how t hey are doing.

Whenever I go int o a busy rest aurant , I always ask t he wait er for his or her nam e. Then I address t hem by nam e while observing sym pat het ically, “ You seem t o be working hard t oday.”

From t hat m om ent on, t he wait er always gives m e special at t ent ion. Why? Because I t ook t he t im e t o em pat hize wit h his or sit uat ion rat her t han looking for sym pat hy for m ine.

Try t his approach wit h all t he people at your workplace. Observe t heir sit uat ion and em pat hize wit h how hard t hey are working, how m any difficult ies t hey have, how overloaded t hey are, and so on. I t is absolut ely am azing how m uch bet t er people feel about you when you t ake a special int erest in t hem , rat her t han j ust t hinking about yourself.

I n life, you always have a choice. You can eit her do everyt hing yourself or you can get ot hers t o help you do som e of t he work. Our ent ire econom ic st ruct ure is built on t he principle of specializat ion. Specializat ion m eans t hat som e people becom e very good at doing cert ain t asks while ot her people becom e very good at doing ot her t asks.