Romance, Sensuality, and Sexuality: Providing Information and Building

they are 5 or 6. When experiencing their crushes, children might feel embarrassed, strange, giddy, shy, and might want to run and hide. Another part of them also might imagine their crush notice and share the same feelings 101 . However, in having it, children and teenagers might be trapped in serious problems like making the crushes feel uncomfortable with their chases, teases, calls in order to get attention. Even though it is less problematic in Staring Sally, as for identification stage, Sally also receives kinds of teases from a boy named Peter Hornstein to attract her attention by sending her a letter to make fun on Sally 155, and annoyingly, by dipping Sally’s hair in his inkwell 71. However, she finally knows all of those teases mean that Peter likes her as Barbara, her friend, tells her. “Peter Hornstein likes you,” Barbara said. “He does?” Yes...otherwise he wouldn’t dip your hair in his inkwell.” “Really?” This was certainly news to Sally. Yes... my sister’s an expert on that stuff and she told me that if a boy teases you it means he likes you.” 73-74 What Barbara says makes Sally is the cathartic effect that Sally understands what happens. At this point, young readers or girls like Sally can gain the insight that they can answer what might happen to them when boys tease them. This finally brings Sally to kiss Peter to congratulate his brother’s wedding. At that time, Sally is really sure that Peter likes her, too, as he kisses her back and says it is for copying off her during the test 196. 101 D’Arcy Lyness, “Crushes.” Kids Health. N.p., 2013. Web. 30 Sept. 2015. Yet, Sally also has to face a trouble when dealing with the crush of her friend, Andrea. She once talks to the boy Andrea calls as Georgia Blue Eyes as they swim in a same pool. However, Sally feels too excited to keep the meeting as a secret from Andrea that one day, in a perfect time, Sally will tell Andrea and be proud that she is the one who speaks to Georgia Blue Eyes. This brings problem as Andrea knows that Sally once talked to him by accident and never told her. Andrea is mad and Sally has to deal with it 166-167. Experts observe the more serious problem can cover the hurt feelings when the crushes declare he or she does not want to hang out anymore. While it is also problematic whenever kids are confused with the sexual feelings and whether they are going too far with sexual exploration which might hurt them whenever they are failed in the complicated relationship in the sexual intercourse. Examples from Sally’s stories about crushes indeed share insights for the readers who might or might not experience the same thing. One letter from a kid sent to Blume might also become a proof that the author who shares insight, wisdom, and solutions about crushes in almost all of her books can possibly be places to write and communicate about crushes. Dear Judy, I wish someone would write a book about what I’m going through. My name is Courtney. I’m eleven years old and in sixth grade. I knew that I would hate school this year and I’m right. The guy that I had crush on since third grade is in a different school now because he’s a year older than me. So I never get to see him. One of my best friends hates me now. She thinks I’m trying to steal her boyfriend just because I’m always talking to him. Another problem that I have is that I cry easily. I get so angry I don’t know what it is that makes me angry. I don’t know what it is that makes me cry either. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI Courtney, age 11 102 Since it is important for adult to always open the gate of communication with their kids about crushes, as well as it is important that kids share and ask for information about it from their trusted adults instead of from their friends who might even confuse them, the open discussion about crushes is necessary to manage. One of the ways is by sharing books that have those expression outlets in particular issues which can play as a conversation starter. As well as in the themes of puberty like menstruation in Margaret, readers can make concretization or identification in the story about Margaret and her period. Besides helping child readers to begin to consider their own experience, presenting issues like those Margaret experiences may lead readers confidently discuss about it with the other readers to know their personal view about the same issue. As the example, it can be seen from the way Margaret worries to know that her mother got her period in her fourteen while Margaret cannot wait that long. Margaret feels so upset when Nancy, one of the girls’ club members, tells that she has her period. She privately talks to God in her fear wishing that she grows normally because she will become the last one in the girls’ club who has not gotten the period yet. Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret. Life is getting worse every day. I’m going to be the only one who doesn’t get it. I know it, God. Just like I’m the only one without a religion. Why can’t you help me? Haven’t I always done what you wanted? Please… let me be like everybody else. 86 However, as she realizes that Nancy, one of the group members lies about getting period, Margaret comes to understanding as the cathartic experience that she wants 102 Judy Blume, Letters to Judy: What Your Kids Wish They Could Tell You New York: G. P. Putman’s Sons, 1986 200. her period, too, but lying is not the solution. Later she prefers to positively look forward to instead of to wish for. Margaret’s experience indeed can probably add an insight for young readers to cope with similar problem with menstruation. Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret. Nancy Wheeler is a big fake. She makes up stories I’ll never be able to trust her again. I will wait to find out from you if I am normal or not. If you would like to give me a sign, fine. If not, I’ll try to be patient. All I ask is that I don’t get it in school because if I had to tell Mr Benedict I know I would die. Thank you, God. 92 Besides the awful feeling of a teenager for willing to be normal, Margaret also shares readers about some important information about menstruation. The novel says the facts as the insight for readers who, through identifying Margaret, do not have idea how the first period would come: ‘How did it happen?’ 84.Then, the novel provides the information that when it comes at the first time, a girl might feel ‘like something dripping’ from her. It is also said ‘it doesn’t hurt coming out’ even though it is follo wed by cramps, which is ‘not bad. Just different…Lower down, and across my back’ 85. It is also informed that a girl should start washing face with soap and told that a girl may not get her period every month yet because sometimes it takes a while to get it regular 85. Margaret also answers young readers’ worrisome when they might not yet experience their period. This can be identified from Margaret who worries to know that her mother got the period in her fourteen, which is too long for her, her mother explains that some girls menstruates earlier than the others and there is nothing can do about that 85. In the other part of the novel, Blume also narrates how Margaret tries out to put the pads on her underwear to know how it feels 114. In the same time readers are informed how to deal with the first time they get their period so that they will feel less panicking or get shocked through the different experience of the characters as discussed above. Indeed, such book is important as k ids also want their questions answered especially to reassure that with the body changes, they are still normal. This letter represents children’s demand on the knowledge about their body which is sent to her trusted adult, Blume. Dear Judy, I’m nine years old and in fourth grade. I think I might get my period soon. I have twenty-four-inch breasts and hair under my arms. Is that weird? To tell the truth I don’t want it I’m afraid to get my period very much. I don’t want to be the first. My best friend says I probably will be. She says that she has hair between her legs. Well, so do I. My mother got her period when she was ten. Stephanie, age 9 103 About puberty, children ask for explanation they wish their parent would talk about sex honestly and to the point. However, according Blume, some parents become nervous as their children approach puberty. Some even get angry when their children begin to ask questions sending out message that they do not discuss such topics 104 . As they can sense their parents’ discomfort and fear, kids might then go to somewhere else. Instead of having them wind up with misinformation, the caring authors are then needed to help kids to tell the truths. Reading about breast development also opens the opportunity to open discussion and information, too. Some adolescence grow with too small or too large 103 Blume, Letters to Judy 164. 104 Blume, Letters to Judy 157. breasts and get problems with that just like it is found in a letter from Meredith 12 years-old sent to Judy Blume. Dear Judy, I am flat and the boys make fun of me but I can’t help it. They tease me so much I get stomach- ache. They call me “Carpenter’s Dream flat as a board or “Pirate’s Dream” sunken treasure. One boy even calls me “Rolaids”. They hurt my feelings so bad but I’m not going to cry in front of them. I don’t want to tell my mom because I don’t want to hurt her because of this. 105 Understanding such problem may occur, Blume shares her perspective through Margaret. In writing about Margaret who is impatient waiting for the growth to be identified by readers, Blume presents an odd girl out in the class Laura who contributes significantly in Margaret’s understanding about her wishing for grown breasts. While the PTS meets to worry about whether they will ever have real breasts like ones in the Playboy magazine and get their periods, Laura is in the opposite of such condition that Margaret first describes her as “very tall thats why I thought she was the teacher with eyes shaped like a cats. You could see the outline of her bra through her blouse and you could also tell from the front that it wasnt the smallest size… 27. As a matter of fact, Laura has been outcast because her body develops earlier than the other kids’. She spends a lot time alone even though all girls want to be like her and the boys are in awe of her. As being standing out is not bad, Nancy has provoked her group including Margaret to believe that Laura did nasty things with Moose and Evan behind the AP, called her with ‘The big blonde with the big you know whats” 31 even though Margaret thinks she is very pretty. Nancy has also 105 Blume 173. suggested her group that it is shameful for Laura to wear a bra since fourth grade and to get her period and prejudiced that Laura’s grown breasts make Mr Benedict the teacher and all of men cannot help looking at her 98. Margaret believes Nancy’s stories about Laura until she finds herself partnered with Laura for a group project and accidently spills the beans. Margaret makes Laura mad for knowing the nasty rumour about her and makes her cry for picking her up. Laura also strongly demands Margaret to ever think of her feeling to have to wear a bra in fourth grade that everybody laughed and have to cross her arms in front of her and also of the feeling when the boys called her dirty names just because how she looks. When Margaret empathically admits to Laura that she wishes she looked more like pretty and grown Laura than like herself for having small chest, Laura says that she would gladly trade with Margaret 98- 99. Laura’s statement helps Margaret to understand that after all, she is the best in her own condition. From Margaret’s case, it is hoped that readers can get a kind of alternative perspective in seeing the breasts development. Besides discussing about girls’ concern in puberty, Blume also presents boys’ puberty through Tony Miglione in Then Again in his first embarrassing experience with wet dream or nocturnal emission. Tony finds himself in his wet and sticky pyjamas that he turns to be nervous and panic about what is happening to him. So often, uninformed boys like Tony associate their wet dreams with sickness that they are afraid to think about. In Tony case, he relates his wet dream with the nervous cramps that attack him every time he gets tenses. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI Oh God There is something wrong with me. Really wrong. Dr. Holland doesn’t know what he’s talking about I am so sick. This proves it. 93 As he has heard little notice that there would be a time when boys wet dream, Tony soon half realizes he is having one uncertainly. Yet, Blume also understands boys worry about the stains on their bed clothes and sheets from the semen. When I went back into my room I sat down on my bed. There was a spot on my sheet. I touched it. It was damp Oh no-does that stuff stain I grabbed some tissues and wiped it up. Will Maine know? I suppose I could change my sheet…but that would look worse, wouldn’t it? Then she might think I wet my bed like a kid. 94 Tony has an awful day. He could not concentrate on his school work for keeping his mind on the time when he gets home and the whole family is all there. Tony is frightened to think that the wet dream is the result of his becoming a sex maniac because he too much thinks about the beautiful neighbour Lisa Hoober. Thanks to the author who cares in giving answer that there are no indications that a boy who wets dream has sexual dream like Tony who does not necessarily dream about sexy things but basketball game. The wet dream is not influenced by his sickness either since he figures out that his sickness relates to the way he manages his upset feelings. These need to be understood by boys to reassure them that they cannot prevent wet dreams from happening. It is just part of growing up. Blume also breaks the silence of masturbation in Deenie by giving an opportunity for Deenie, probably for many other kids, to have any question in the gym class that she writes ‘Do normal people touch their bodies before they go to sleep and is it all right to do that?’ 91. The taboo topic like masturbation is depicted when Deenie feels she almost died when Mrs Rappoport reads the question loud so PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI that she tries hard to smile a little and hopes her expression on my face looks like she was also trying to figure out who had asked such question. So often, kids who masturbate feel lonely with their lack of honest information and feel guilty as well as confused with the myths spread among them. Susan Minton, one of Deenie’s classmates assumes that ‘I heard that boys who touch themselves too much can go blind or get very bad pimples or their bodies can even grow deformed.” 92. Heard about such statement, Deenie suddenly gets nervous and afraid if it is possibly true for girls, too. She relates to her own condition frightened that her scoliosis has something to do with her masturbation. By the time Mrs. Rappoport explains that Susan Minton is misinformed, as well as Deenie, many other kids would take a deep breath and get relieved 93. Through Deenie, it is clarified that masturbation is normal and harmless for male and female. It does not give anyone acne or make anyone insane or deformed like the myths say. The novel also says that it is very common for girls as well as boys to masturbate in the beginning of adolescence. Importantly, the book relieves kids to find out through fictional characters that they are not alone. Dear Judy, I have read all of your books. They help me not to be afraid and they answer my questions. I thought I was different but I’m not. In your books are things I would never bring out in the open with my mother. Like in your book Deenie- she touches her special place. Well, I do that too, but I always thought I was the only one. Jonele, age 13 106 106 Blume, Letters to Judy 185. It is also implied that human being should be comfortable in their own body and their own skin and even to discuss about them. “And it’s not a word you should be afraid of. Let’s all say it.” “Masturbation,” We all said together. 92 In the case of most banned books, it is too superficial to look to the issue behind the controversial topic to see what the novel is really saying. Deenie clearly says that it’s okay to talk about our bodies, that it is normal. Therefore many people also defence the book with the reason that it is too sad that it gets shamed and banned when it presents importance. Yet, it is true that talking about sex to children is also never easy especially when it deals with sexual intercourse like what Forever says. In fact, kids want to know about sex, relationship, and all the things that Blume uncovers openly and honestly in the novel. It depicts honestly the first experience of sexual intercourse. It shares the sexual stimulation, the masturbation, penetration, the finding of the right position, the bleeding, the body parts including the appearance of male and female genitals, the erection, the orgasm, and the wetness. One more important point Blume shares the depiction and the emotions, nervousness, and fear that come with them. As children grow, sexuality will be their choice to deal with. Forever, Blume’s candid portrayal of a teenage sexual relationship can be practically important to share essential points about having pre- marital sex in teenagers’ life through a high school female character Katherine. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI Without being judgmental, what Blume wrote helps kids to understand that sexual intercourse should not be used to prove that someone is lovable and worthy as well as to please somebody they love or to be under pressured. It is important to be able to say “no” as easily as “okay” and to feel good about their decision. This is why when Michael asks Katherine to have sex, Katherine reasonably waits until she feels ready for sex because she believes that sex cannot be done to anybody but to person somebody loves while she has not felt certain about her love to Michael for seeing him only nineteen times. “No…” I pushed his hand away and sat up. “I’m talking about mentally ready.” “Mentally ready,” Michael repeated. “Yes”. “How does a person get mentally ready?” he asked. “A person has to think… a person has to be sure…” “But your body says you want to…” “I have to control my body with my mind.” “Oh, shit…” Michael said. “It’s not easy for me either.” 27 It is only as Katherine is sure about her love to Michael will last forever, she agrees to get involved in it. While the first sex does not always work right, it ensures Katherine that sex should be done with beloved person. I can’t imagine what the first time would be like with someone you didn’t love. 58 It is unfortunate that the book has been condemned as manual for teen sex because in the novel, Katherine commits sexual intercourse with Michael. Blume argues that today kids have to make more decision on their own. It is important for PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI parents to help them learn to make those decisions wisely 107 . In fact, there are significant values shared by Katherine’s mother about having pre-marital sex. Once her mother says, “But you have to be sure you can handle the situation before you jump into it…sex is a commitment…once you’re there you can’t go back to holding hands. … And when you give yourself both mentally and physically…well, you’re completely vulnerable” 45 While in the other time, she gives her article from The New York Times that asks the following questions: 1. Is sexual intercourse necessary for the relationship? 2. What should you expect from sexual intercourse? 3. If you need help, where will you seek it? 4. Have you thought about how this relationship will end? The fourth question makes Katherine angry to think about why the relationship should end when her relation with Michael has just begun. Yet, she realizes that she should have considered about this point when she finally breaks up the forever business with Michael. Forever affirms that it is normal for teenagers to fall in love with somebody that they think the relationship is very precious. It is also wonderful that they begin to discover sexual attraction. However, many of them are still lack of talking about the issues early enough. This is why kids have unclear understanding what teen sexuality really means emotionally. They need to understand that romantic life can possibly end like in Katherine’s relationship with Michael as they get separated for a summer camp for seven weeks. 107 Blume, Letters to Judy 211. By depicting the disappointed Michael, it is also important to ask themselves about their feeling when it does not last by looking at Katherine and Michael’s heart break and loss. It is also necessary to think about how they might feel if the next day they see their couple with someone else, like what happens to Katherine and Theo, and whether they will still feel it worth or regretful. If parents do not talk about these things either because it is impossible to talk about sexuality to kids or because today they are with their own life working and relieved to be free from caretaking responsibility, kids have no one to go to help them grow and learn and no one to go to with their questions. They will not know if the feelings they have for realizing that they are sexual beings are normal or not. This is why authors through their works of literature can provide solutions in giving information, emotion, and sharing valuable stories about teen sexuality as what really happened to Blume to get a letter of a disconnected kid about her sexual life, Dear Judy, It was the same way for my boyfriend, Don, and me as it was in your book Forever... As it is, we will be getting married next month. I read parts of your book to Don, the parts I didn’t quite understand. It made it easier for us to talk about sex. Tanya, age 19 108 The issue of birth control also becomes Forever ’s significant message that teenagers can discuss with people they trust since it represents teen sexual activity done responsibly. Katherine is depicted to be a smart and mature decision maker toward her commitment in sex. Blume sends a valuable message that to any age, 108 Blume, Letters to Judy 216. sexuality needs to be committed in a safe, secure, and responsible way. Especially kids today have to make decisions about their sexuality and too many of them still lack the information they need to decide intelligently. When Katherine thinks she has felt and the readers can also sense that her love and romance to Michael is special and will last forever, she decides to take precautions avoiding the unwanted pregnancy by taking birth controls. This is done after she takes gynaecological exam at Planned Parenthood to avoid sexually transmitted diseases mentioned as Hepatitis and AIDS as the act of being responsible to her commitment to do regular sex with Michael. Through Katherine, Blume implies that kids need to use their intelligence when they have to face sexual life. Teenage unwanted pregnancy and venereal diseases have been global problems. It is ironic when those problems occur because of kids are lack of information and remain innocent about parenthood and pregnancy economically and emotionally. In fact, some girls did not even know they could become pregnant the first time they had intercourse. Sybil, as depicted in Forever to be one of sexually active friends of Katherine, uses abortions and adoption as her method of birth control. Yet Blume implies such kids are not thinking responsibly about sex and most of the time adults are not talking with them about the issues early enough. To some extent it can be said that Katherine is lucky because Blume narrates her to be very careful in her sexual life so that she does not have to end up with having abortion or giving her baby to an adaptive parents. She does not have to be dropped out from the school because of pregnancy or to have her life ruined. Even PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI that so, readers are provided by the implied lesson that both boys and girls should be responsible for preventing the unwanted consequences of sex. When they only worry about romance and about letting whatever happens, Blume argues these kids are not mature enough to handle intercourse 109 . Readers are led to understand that it is their body and it is their life. It is up to them to take the control, but it does not mean they can not think and consider about the consequences anymore. In some ways, Blume provides clear information about how to get birth control. She rightly informs kids that it is a must to go to a doctor or to a family- planning clinic before they decide to use it. In some other way, the character in this book may be accepted for not making the right decision to have sex. However, since it is not easy to set rules toward sexual behaviour because it so much depends on family values, emotional maturity, and life experiences, through Forever ’s main character, readers can understand the fact that she chooses to protect herself becomes the stronger message than to become the abstinence. From the data analysed through this chapter, it can be obviously seen that the depiction of the detailed romance, sexuality, and sensuality in Blume’s novels offer particular pleasures in enjoying them as children’s literature for they are depicted in detail and honest ways. In addition, readers are able to reflect their own perspectives in the real life about such sensitive issues after their reading. Not only providing pleasures, the appearance of those issues has empowered Blume’s novels to be therapeutic in enabling difficult topics to be possible to share. Through her novels, that the young people are growing up with and interested in their 109 Blume, Letters to Judy 218. sexual life is accepted. More than that, the books also initiate communication and give information which becomes the important starter of finding solution when dealing taboo and difficult topics and kind of help for kids to feel less alone. Importantly, her writing talks about how censorship and silencing has violated children’s right to understand parts of their life and to sharpen their ability to accept facts from fictions as well as to enrich the cathartic experiences from the vicarious reading of literature. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI

CHAPTER IV Bad Sides of Life

This chapter aims at elaborating and explaining how the silenced bad sides of life are voiced in the texts analyzed and how they are able to support the works to be pleasing and at the same useful books in healing. The issues of dark realties found in Blume’s novels include parental conflicts, divorce, uncertainties, illness, problem with religion, and death. They are classified as bad realities in regard to Nodelman’s study on power relation between adult and children which places the subjugated children as The Other with their lack of capability to deal with difficult realities for they are assumed to be inferior in the opposition to adults 110 . It can be seen from the following discussion that by presenting the bad sides of life , Blume’s novels offer the pleasures of escaping, acknowledging newness, and recognizing gaps. While practically, the presence of those issues helps children to cope with difficulty life through literature.

1. Bad Sides of Life: Disproving Other-ness to Empower Children

In talking about childhood and child psychology, where the child is placed is obviously seen: as the object of adults’ observation or as the other; the thing that the observers are not, the declined, and the opposites. The act of observation by itself sees the object for not being able to describe and analysing themselves that they need to be defined and described. Along with this notion, adults speak for children because children are presumably incapable to do so. This leads to the silence of dark sides of life in children’s books because unlike adults, children have no ability and concern 110 Nodelman, The Other 32. about difficult life and matters. As a result, so often children’s literature provides few numbers of topics elaborated below which are assumed to only fit the maturity. To Zornado, viewing children as the opposites of the ‘perfect’ adults represents adult narcissism promoting children to learn to believe in adults’ hierarchy and superiority. Children need to accept it i n the need for civilization to ‘progress’ 111 . The ‘immature’ children need to be kept away from the topics that they are assumed to be incapable to handle because they belong to the experienced adults. Yet, Blume as the author whose novels are analysed in this research depicts children more in their sameness instead of the differences when compared to adults’ topics. This implies Blume disregards kids as the other, the primitive, the deprived, and the difference. In her writing, Blume portrays those ‘adults’ matters in her children’s books. They include parental conflicts, divorce, uncertainties, illness, problem with religion, and death.

1.1. Parental Conflicts

The novels analysed can infer that Blume likely believes children are not supposed to be weak in nature. As speaking about the weakness of childhood, seeing children as a group of people who have general and similar characteristics will lead to forget to view them as individual. As a matter of facts, when Blume portrays various conflicts in all of the novels analysed is her agreement that not all kids are living in a neat and happy life. More importantly, it is sometime problematic that in writing, adults forget what it is like to be young. What children have to face out can be so hard since they have to cope with situation they do not create. This reality is portrayed like 111 Zornado, The Invention 7-10. in the following example which shows a great conflict Karen witnesses between her parents which is the result of the constant fights in It’s Not the End: My mother shouted, “I should have listened to Ruth a long time ago. I should have listened the first time I brought you home. She saw you for what you are. Conceited, selfish —“ “One more word and I’m going to take the kids away from you” “Don’t you dare threaten me” Mom screamed. “I mean it. So help me. I’ll have you declared incompetent.” “You rotten bastard...” 134-135 Another conflict between parents also occurs in Margaret even though compared to what happens to Karen, Margaret’s parents argue for more common disagreement that exists in their household only as a way of negotiating. One of the examples can be se en when after fourteen years of never sending letter, Margaret’s mother Barbara gives address to her parents which makes her husband upset. My father hollered. ‘I can’t believe you, Barbara After fourteen years you sent them a Christmas card?’ “I was feeling sentimental. So I sent a card. I didn’t write anything on it. Just our names.” My father shook the letter at my mother. “So now, after fourteen years – fourteen years , Barbara Now they change their minds?” “They want to see us. That’s all.” “They want to see you, not me They want to see Margaret To make sure she doesn’t have horns” “Herb Stop it You’re being ridiculous---“ “I’m being ridiculous That’s funny, Barbara. That’s very funny.” 101 Beside children are assumed not to be ready with such horrible view about their parents’ relationship, it is also the assumption saying that children are not supposed to be acknowledged and exposed to ‘adults’ business’. It is because their world is ideally and homogeneously playful and happy, while Blume’s novels do not strengthen the common belief by even disregarding children’s otherness. Unless, as Nodelman claims, the world in children’s books can only become forever PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI