Tsukuru’s Characteristics before He Meets Sara Kimoto

She found that Tsukuru had started to act and speak a little oddly. When she saw how much her son had changed in the space of a few months, she was speechless. But Tsukuru attributed it to ‘normal changes you go through when you’re my age.’ What he really needed, he told her, were clothes that actually fit him now, and his mother totally accepted his explanation. She’d grown up with a sister and, after her own marriage, was more familiar with how to raise her daughters. She had no idea how to raise a boy Murakami, 2014: 41. The quotation above shows that even with his mother, Tsukuru still cannot tell about his problem. Although physically, he may has changed, he acts normally as if nothing happens. In addition, another proof that shows Tsukuru does not have a close relation with his family is when his father died, Tsukuru comes back to Nagoya for his father’s funeral. But soon after that, “Tsukuru continued his work in Tokyo building railroad stations, without much contact with his family. His visits to Nagoya remained few a nd far between” Murakami, 2014: 48. From those quotations above, it helps the writer to analyze Tsukur u’s personality as a reserved man. Also from the way he thought when he thinks that he cannot share his problems to his family, even when his mother comes to Tokyo and asks him whether there is something she should know, Tsukuru remains silent and acts normally. As Murphy states that someone’s characteristic can be seen from the way heshe thinks. Tsukuru’s thoughts and from the conversatation he has with his mother, it proves that he tends to have a difficulty to communicate with other people. Especially for expressing his feelings. So after his friends leave, Tsukuru has not talked to any of them. He does not know why his four friends suddenly kick him out of the group. Back to Tokyo, he continues his flat daily routine. This is another proof that shows Tsukuru also has a flat activity in Tokyo: When he got up, he’d take a shower, wash his hair, and always brush his teeth after eating. He made his best to keep busy. At night, he read for two hours or so, mostly history or biographies. A long-standing habit. Habit, in fact, was what propelled his life forward. Though he no longer believed in a perfect community, nor felt the warmth of chemistry between people Murakami, 2014: 42. Tsukuru does not make a close relation with anyone since then. As it is stated in the novel, Tsukuru does not believe in a perfect community. He does not feel the warmth of chemistry between him and the people around him. He continues his flat daily life in Tokyo just like he did in Nagoya. It is said that “being banished didn’t have any immediate negative effects on his daily routine Murakami, 2014 : 3.” It means that he already has the difficulty to socialize with other people. He also has a monotone life before he meets his friends and after his friends leave. That is the reason why it is difficult for him to socialize with the others. When he meets Sara for the first time, he still does not want to reveal his thoughts or feelings to Sara. Because it seems odd for him to share his problems to someone he has just met. Tsukuru still believes that it is not necessary for people around him know about his life, especially about his past life. Tsukuru, of course, had no idea what Sara was thinking about. And he didn’t want to reveal to her what was on his mind. There are certain thoughts that, no matter what, you have to keep inside. And it was those kinds of thoughts that ran through Tsukuru’s head as he rode the train home Murakami, 2014: 35. From the quotation above, it gives a clue to the reader that at first Tsukuru does not want to reveal his feelings or his thoughts to Sara. It is because he has just met her. He is afraid of telling Sara about everything. So he chooses to keep all of his feelings for himself instead of expressing about it. In the book Understanding Unseens An Introduction to English Poetry and the English Novel for Overseas Students, Murphy states that there are several ways that can be used by the author to characterize a character in the story. As it has been mentioned in the previous chapter, that the author gives direct knowledge of what a person is thinking about and the author can also descri be a person’s mannerism, habit or idiosyncrasies to tell the readers about the character in the story Murphy, 1972: 173. By using several ways to characterize the character, Tsukuru Tazaki can be categorized as a reserved man. It can be seen from the the way he thinks and from his habits. b. Lacking self-confidence Besides characterizing Tsukuru as a reserved man, the author also characterizes him as a person who is lacking self-confidence. It can be seen from his thoughts. When he is still in the group, there is something in his thought that bother him. His four friends have one thing in common: their surnames all contain a color. Tazaki was the only last name that did not have a color in its meaning. From the very beginning this fact made him feel a bit left out. Of course whether or not you had a color as part of your name had nothing to do with your personality. Tsukuru understood this. But still, it disappointed him, and he surprised himself by feeling hurt. Soon, the other four friends began to use nicknames: the boys were called Aka red and Ao blue; and the girls were Shiro white and Kuro black. But he just remained Tsukuru. How great it would be, he often thought, if I had a color in my name too. Then everything would be perfect Murakami, 2014: 6. The quotation above shows that all of hi s friends’ names represent a color. While Tsukuru does not. It makes him to feel a little bit left out. He feels that his personality is not as colorful as his friends. However, all five of them are from suburban, upper-middle-class families. Their parents are baby boomers; their fathers are all professionals. At least their families were peaceful and stable. Tsukuru often compares himself to his friends in the group. He thinks that if he has a color in his name, then everything will be perfect. He will be the same as the others. Tsukuru’s best friend, Aka, is the one with the best grades. Ao is good in sports. Shiro is beautiful and has a natural talent in music. While Kuro although she is not as beautiful as Shiro, she is independent, tough and a great reader. Tsukuru has no special skills or talent. Thus, it makes him to feel like he is lacking of color. Another proof tha t shows Tsukuru’s personality can be seen below: Tsukuru Tazaki was the only one in the group without anything special about him. He wasn’t especially interested in academics. His grades were slightly above average. He didn’t mind sports but never was interested enough to join a team. He had no deep interest in the arts, no hobby or special skill. He wasn’t especially outgoing and could never relax around people he’d just met. There was not one single quality he possessed that was worth bragging about or showing off to others. At least that was how he viewed himself. Everything about him was middling, pallid, lacking in color Murakami, 2014: 10. There is also a moment that shows Tsukuru’s personality who is lacking self confidence. It is when Tsukuru tells Sara about himself “I feel more often how dull and insignificat I am for other people” Murakami, 2014: 32. From those quotations show how Tsukuru sees himself. According to Murphy, someone’s characteristic can be revealed from what the character says Murphy, 1972: 164. The quotations above, strengthen the writer’s opinion that Tsukuru is lacking self- confidence. He is not confident about his personality. Tsukuru’s personality can be seen from his thoughts and the conversation between him and Sara. By applying Murphy’s theory, the writer can characterizes Tsukuru as a person who is lacking self-confidence from the way he thinks and his speech. Another statement that shows Tsukuru’s personality is from his thought that maybe he is fated to always be alone in his entire life. All of friends who come to his life are searching for something and in the end they will leave him behind. Maybe I am fated to always be alone, Tsukuru found himself thinking. People came to him, but in the end they always left. The came, seeking something, but either they couldn’t find it, or were unhappy with what they found or else they were disappointed or angry, and then they left. One day, without warning, they vanished, with no explanation, no word of farewell. ‘Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki,’ he said aloud. I basically have nothing to offer to others. If you think about it, I don’t even have anything to offer myself Murakami, 2014: 100-101. Based on his way of thinking, Tsukuru can be categorized as a person who is lacking self-confidence. This can be seen through Murphy’s theory. It is stated in the book that the thought of the character may give a clue to hisher characteristic Murphy, 1972: 171 . Therefore, based on Tsukuru’s thoughts and the conversation with Sara, it gives clue that his personality is lack self-confidence. c. Pessimistic Tsukuru is not only characterized as reserved and lacking self-confidence but he is also a pessimistic person. This can be seen when he has the fear that one day he will be separated from the group. Although Tsukuru is happy and proud to be included in the group, still he has the fear of being left by his friends. Sometimes Tsukuru couldn’t understand why he was included in their group of five. Did the others really need him? Wouldn’t they be able to relax and have a better time if he weren’t there? Maybe they just hadn’t realized it yet, and it was only a matter of time before they did? The more he pondered this dilemma, the less he understood. He loved his four friends. Still, he had a constant, nagging fear that someday he would fall away from this intimate community, or be forced out and left on his own. The fear that he would be separated from the group and end up entirely alone Murakami, 2014: 12. But actually, none of these concerns seem to bother the other four. Tsukuru thinks that one day he will be separated from the group because his name does not represent any color at all . Based on Murphy’s theory, the thought of the character can give a clue about someone’s characteristic, Tsukuru way of thinking gives the clue that he is a pessimistic person. After his friends leave without any reason many years ago, Tsukuru still does not want to find the truth. He thinks that no matter what the truth was, it will not save him. It can be seen from his conversation between him and Sara below: “If it had been me, I would have stayed there and not left until I got the bottom of it,” Sara said. “I was not strong enough for that,” Tsukuru said. “You did not want to find out the truth?” Tsukuru stared at his hands on the tabletop, carefully choosing his words. “I think I was afraid of pursuing it, of whatever facts might come to light. Of actually coming face-to-face with them. Whatever the truth was, I didn’t think it would save me. I’m not sure why, but I was certain of it” Murakami, 2014: 31. From quotation above it can be seen that Tsukuru is pessimistic about his problems. He wants to forget it instead of finding out the truth. Another proof that shows Tsukuru is pessimistic over his problems is when he has a conversation with Sara, “I’m not saying I didn’t feel like knowing the truth. But after all these years, I think it’s better just to forget about it. It was a long time ago, and it’s all sunk within the past” Murakami, 2014: 32. Tsukuru chooses to forget the problem between him and his friends. He thinks that he has to keep moving on and continue his life instead of going back to the past and find out the truth. He thinks that searching for the reason or correcting a misunderstanding is beyond him. When his friends tell him that they do not want to see or talk to him anymore, he cannot say anything or ask for their reason. Because he is shock. He feels that he might never recover. Murphy says that the clue to the characteristic of the character can be seen through the speech of the character when heshe speaks in the conversation with another in the story Murphy, 1972: 164. Tsukuru’s pessimistic personality can be seen by his speech. Before Tsukuru meet Sara, he dates several women. He has fairly long-term, serious relationships with all of them. He does not want to just play around. But he cannot make it. He feels that he was not seriously attracted to any of them. He likes them but he feels that the problems are at him, not with any of the women he dates. Tsukuru is afraid that if he really loves someone, the one that he loves might be gone without a reason and he will be left alone. Just like his high school friends who leave him behind . Another conversation that shows Tsukuru’s personality can be seen below: “You could only have a relationship with women you didn’t have to totally open up to.” “I might have been afraid that if I really loved someone and needed her, one day she might suddenly disappear without a word, and I’d be left all alone.” “So consciously or unconsciously you always kept a distance between yourself and the women you dated. Or else you chose women you could keep that distance from. So you wouldn’t get hurt. Does that sound about right?” Tsukuru didn’t reply, his silence an affirmation Murakami, 2014: 88. The quotation above shows that Tsukuru is a pessimistic person. This is can be seen through his speech when he speaks in the conversation with Sara. Tsukuru does not have any strength to find out the reason why his friends did not want to see or speak with him anymore. He also only dates women who he does not have to be totally open up to. Because he is afraid that if he get too attached with the women he dates, he will be left all alone again. He is afraid of being hurt by someone he loves . Tsukuru’s speech in those quotations above gives the clue to the writer that Tsukuru’s personality is pessimistic. The analysis above shows Tsukuru’s personality before he meets Sara. Before he meets Sara, Tsukuru’s personality is reserved lacking self confidence and pessimistic. It is not easy for him to reveal his feelings to the others. He has a flat- monotone life, so he does not have any single friend since his four friends leave him. Tsukuru also does not have a close relation with his family. He tends to keep all of his feelings alone without share it to anyone including his family. He once dates several women before he meets Sara but actually he is not attracted to them. Because he is so afraid that the people he loves will leave him all alone again. So he prefers not to be open about his true feelings and his personality to the women he dates. Tsukuru thinks that maybe since he was born he is fated to always be alone. Therefore, Tsukuru is characterized as a person who is reserved, lacking self confidence and pessimistic.

2. Tsukuru’s Characteristics after He Meets Sara Kimoto

In this part, the writer discusses the changing of the main character’s personality. Tsukuru’s personality develops after he meets Sara Kimoto. Murphy’s theory is used to help the writer in order to analyze the changing personality of the main character. a. Expressive Tsukuru meets Sara for the first time at a party to celebrate his boss’ newly constructed house. After that, they exchange email addresses. Sara is two years older than Tsukuru. She works in a travel agency. Sara is the first and the only person whom Tsukuru can share his problems with. From the first time Tsukuru met Sara, Tsukuru is attracted to Sara’s appearance. This can be seen from the way he thought when they meet for the first time. “From the first time he saw her, Tsukuru had liked Sara’s looks. She wasn’t typically beautiful. Her prominent cheekbones gave her an obstinate look, and her nose was narrow and pointed, but there was something indefinably vital and alive about her face th at caught his eye. He wasn’t normally conscious of it, but there was one part of his body that was extremely sensitive, somewhere along his back. The day they met they talked for a long time, though he couldn’t recall much of what they said. What he did recall was the special feeling on his back, and the indefinably thrilling sensation it brought to his mind and body. One part of him relaxed, another part tightened up. But what did it mean? Tsukuru thought about this for days. So he emailed Sara and invited her to dinner. He was determined to find out the meaning of that feeling, of that sensation” Murakami, 2014: 14-15. According to the story, from the first time Tsukuru see Sara there is something in Sara that makes Tsukuru want to know more about her. Part of his body relaxed wherever he is around Sara. He does not know what is the meaning of that sensation. He thinks about it for days and finally he invites Sara to dinner because he wants to find out the meaning of that feeling. Tsukuru’s reaction gives the clue that he feels something new that he never experiences before. He is curious about it. This what makes him to finally invite Sara to dinner. After several dating with Sara, Tsukuru finally be able to speak up his feeling towards his problems. He tells Sara about his high school memories. From the beginning when he know Aka, Ao, Shiro and Kuro until the day they leave him alone. He also tells Sara that it is the first time in his life that anyone has rejected him so completely. Tsukuru has never told about this to anyone before, but with Sara he can tell her everything. It can be see from the conversation between him and Sara, “Why are we talking about this?” Tsukuru said, half to himself, trying to sound upbeat. “I’ve never talked to anybody about this before, and never planned to.” Sara smiled faintly. “Maybe you needed to talk with somebody. More than you ever imagined ” Murakami, 2014: 33. Based on the conversation above, it can be seen that Tsukuru has never told his problems to anyone before. Tsukuru shows his personality by his reaction toward the conversation with Sara. This is based on one of Murphy’s theory, “the author describes the character by letting the readers know how that person reacts to va rious situations and events” Murphy, 1972: 173. It means that the readers can see the characteristic of the character from the way heshe reacts. Tsukuru’s reaction emphasizes that he feels a little bit surprised to finally share his problem to another person. It shows that since he meets Sara, Tsukuru realizes that finally he can express his feelings that he has kept over the years. In this analysis, T sukuru’s personality develops as a reserved man in the beginning of the story then becomes more expressive by express his feelings to Sara. His personality development shows when he tells Sara that he loves her more than anything. “I love you, Sara, and I want you more than anything.” Over the phone he heard a rustling sound, as if she were fumbling for something. She gave a small cough, then made a sound he took to be an exhalation. “Is it okay to talk with you about it now?” Tsukuru asked. “Of course,” Sara said. “I mean, it’s not even four yet. You can say whatever you want. Nobody’s listening in. They’re all sound asleep.” “I truly love you, and I want you,” Tsukuru repeated Murakami, 2014: 276. From the conversation above, it shows that Tsukuru experiences personality development. At first, when the people walk away from his life, he will forget about what just happen and continue his life. He keeps his feelings just for himself. He has never shared it to the others. But deep down in his heart, the feeling of being left by the people he loves still bothers him. So since he meets Sara and he is attracted to her physically and emotionally, he makes a decision to tell Sara what he is truly feel about her. He tells Sara that he loves her and wants her to stay. Based on Tsukuru’s speech, it gives clue to the reader that Tsukuru dares to express his feeling towards Sara. b. Confident The other development on Tsukuru’s personality after he meets Sara is the confident characteristic. Five days after Tsukuru tells Sara about what happen between him and his four friends, Tsukuru invites Sara to dinner. Sara accepts Tsukuru’s invitation and says that there is something she wants to talk about. Tsukuru has no idea what that might be. But the thought of seeing her again cheer him up. When he does not see her for a while it is as if something are missing from his life. He has not feel this way in a long time. Seeing Sara regularly makes Tsukuru’s personality develops. He is a person who is lacking self-confidence but since he meets Sara he becomes a confident person. In this study, confident means a person who is sure enough to do the things he always hesitates to do. Also it means a person who believes in his ability so he can value himself more. Before he meets Sara, he thinks that his personality lacks of color so people will throw him away as soon as they realize that Tsukuru has nothing to offer from his characteristics. So thus, he becomes a person who is lacking self-confidence. Tsukuru’s personality becomes confident also can be seen when he takes the chance to visit his friends again. After hearing Sara’s suggestions, Tsukuru thinks that maybe Sara is right. This is the right time for him to see his friends again. He believes that he can do it. That the thing about seeing his friends again is something he has to do. Otherwise, the pro blem will still haunt him. Tsukuru’s ability to believe in himself to see his friends again can be seen from his conversation with Sara below: “The first thing I’d like to know is this if you know where these four friends are now, do you want to see them again? Even if you find out that some of what I’m going to tell you is unpleasant? Facts you might wish you hadn’t found out about?” Tsukuru nodded. “I can’t guess what those might be, but I do plan to see the four of them, I’ve made up my mind.” Sara gazed at his face for some time before speaking Murakami: 2104, 113- 114. Based on Murphy’s theory that has been mentioned in the previous chapter before, “the author can also describe the character of through the conversation with other people” Murphy, 1972: 164. From Tsukuru’s conversation’s with Sara, it gives clue about his personality development. It is clearly seen that the conversation shows Tsukuru now becomes confident to see his friends again. The thought that he is a person who lacks of color slowly fade away. Tsukuru also convinces himself that if he cannot see his friends on the day he comes, he will think about another way. “If he wasn’t able to meet with them when he showed up, or if they refused him to see him, he’d figure out another