Approach of the Study
Another discussion was about the duty as a girl in household. Umm Mahmud stated that, while some of her friends were off school, she was at home.
There were others like her too – girls who stayed at home and did chores. One of
things she had to do was fetch water. This shows that her life was about to be a girl in the home only without getting a formal education. As Paludi 2010:68 stated
before that women are still, to certain extent, expected to value children and taking care of the home and family as a priority.
“I was in the house, cleaning and wanted to be clever and do a real good job that day.” Gorkin, 1996:11
Patriarchy rules also occurred in her marriage arrangement. Her father chose her marriage partner without her consideration.
“My father chose my husband for me. What, the girl chooses her own husband? It was arranged by my father.”
“The party ended and I was married. Fourteen years old and a bride. Sure, it was too young. I think a girl should be twenty years old when she marries.
That’s not too late. There’s plenty of time to have children and the girl knows more at twenty. What did I know? I was ignorant…” Gorkin,
1996:12-13
The statement above shows that how patriarchy rules affected her life, in the aspect of marriage partner and the decision-making that supposed to be her rights.
This means that, at that time, women’s life was arranged perfectly to be only a housewife. It is similar with what Hooks 2000:42 states that patriarchy is the
systemisation of the oppression of women by social structure such as marriage, heterosexually, laws, policies, and even language.
Behind patriarchy rules toward her, she actually had her perspective towards it. She wanted to get education, as equal as her friends female-male friends but
because of the father’s rule on her life, she could not have gone to school and get education. She then argued that she passed her wish to all her children.
“Now I have educated children myself, boys and girls.” “My children, they wanted to teach me when they were going to school. Too
late. When you’re a girl, that’s the time to learn. My father, blessed be his memory, didn’t want me to learn. And that’s the way it was.” Gorkin,
1996:11
From the statements above, it can be concluded that although she is uneducated woman, she wanted her daughter to get education and live better. Her
last daughter’s name is Marianne. In educating her, Umm Mahmud did not apply the patriarchal rules.
“Seriously, I wouldn’t mind if Marianne meets someone – a person from here America
– who wants to live there. Up until now, she has had many suitors. Some were uneducated and untrained. She didn’t want any of them.
She wants an educated man, someone like herself. Alright, let it be an educated man, that’s fine with me. But, at twenty-seven years old, it’s
already time to choose someone. I want her to choose. I can’t force her. Haram You must not force a daughter to marry som
eone.” Gorkin, 1996:30
That statement showed that patriarchy rules has made up her ways of thinking andor her perspectives towards it. Referring to her past life, she had
willingness to get a better life, which then experienced by her daughters. She purely did not want that her daughters experienced the same situation like hers in the past
life.