33 giving-up on the situation. The news about the death of her parents only made
her become a strong geisha. We can see from the following quotation: …The stale air had washed away. The past was gone. My mother
and father were dead and I could do nothing in change it. But I suppose that for the past year I
‘d been dead in a way too. And my sister
… yes, she was gone, but I felt as though I‘d turned around to look in a different direction, so that I no longer faced backward
toward the past, but forward toward the future. And now the question confronting me was this:
―What would that future be? Golden, 1997:107
―… But what will you do with yourself now, Chiyo? You don‘t look to me like a girl who wants to live her life as a maid.
‖ ―Oh, ma‘am… I‘d give anything to undo my mistakes.‖ I said, ―It‘s
been more than two years now, I ‘ve waited so patiently in the hopes
that some opportunity might come along. ‖ Golden, 1997:125
―Mameha-san, I promise you, such a thing will never happen with me.
‖ I said. ―Thanks to you, I feel like a ship encountering its first taste of the ocean. I would never forgive myself for disappointing
you. ‖ Golden, 1997:140
From the quotations above we can seen that Sayuri kept moving forward and facing reality in front of her. The meeting with Chairmand and
Mameha opened a new path for Sayuri life. Although there were still many obstacles on her path, she decided to not giving-up easily.
4.1.6 Shy
Sayuri was like ordinary girl at that time. When met strangers, she always felt shy and scared. Mameha teached Sayuri to how use that shyness
to flirt the men. Geisha must capable to send message to her patrons by using her body gesture. We can see from the following dialogue:
34 ―You‘re going to make a fine geisha,‖ she said, ―but you‘ll need
make an even better one if you put some thought into the sorts of statements you make with your eyes.
‖ ―I‘ve never been aware of making any statement with them at all,‖ I
said. ―They‘re the most expressive part of a woman‘s body, especially in
your case. Stand here a moment and I ‘ll show you.‖ Golden,
1997:158-159
But it was changed when she grown-up. Sayuri became more adaptive to the situation and she was able to control her emotion well. She only shows
her real shyness only to chairman. We can see from the following dialogue: ―…What I did on Amami, I did because of my feelings for you
Chairman. Every step I have taken in my life since I was a child in Gion, I have taken in the hope of bringing myself closer to you.
‖ When I said these words, all the heat in my body seemed to rise
to my face. I felt I might float up into the air, just like a piece of ash from a fire, unless I could focus on something in the room. I tried to
find a smudge on the tabletop, but already the table itself was glazing over and disappearing in my vision.
―Look at me Sayuri‖ I wanted to do as the Chairman asked, but I couldn
‘t. ―How strange,‖ he went on quietly, almost to himself, ―that the same
woman who looked me so frankly in the eye as a girl, many years ago, can
‘t bring herself to do it now.‖ Golden, 1997:416
Like the other ordinary girl, Sayuri showed her real shyness in the front of person that she loved. It was already years since Sayuri fallen in love with
Chairman. Whenever they met, Sayuri become nervous and hard to avoid her gaze upon Chairman.
4.2 Conflict
