The Changing Role from Student to Teacher

15 that they are unable to use language correctly and possibly lead them to tensions. However, those tensions must not always leave negative traces. It can be said that having tensions is necessary for an identity development process. Smagorinsky et al. 2004 emphasized that beginning teachers pre-service teachers should be provoked by tensions to challenge their identities, and allow them to question themselves and their beliefs. Besides, Beijaard et al. 2004 said in their study that the tensions cause a growing interest in the professional identity of teachers by emerging questions such as who am I as a teacher? and what kind of teacher do I want to become?. The study from Pillen et al. 2013 have been able to derive three major types of teachers professional identity tensions which emerge during the experience of early teaching and pre-service teaching:

a. The Changing Role from Student to Teacher

The changing role from student to teacher is characterized by three factors which are related to general roles as a teacher. Those factors are students, content knowledge, and experience. Based on those factors, this tension is divided into three sub-tensions. The first is being confused on how to behave toward students. Pre- service teachers have difficulties in responding to students and are afraid of not being taken seriously Pillen, Beijaard, Brok, 2013. They usually confused whether to behave strictly as far as needed or to behave as always friendly in order to gain respect and get close to students. Further, Pillen et.al 2012 also mention related to this sub-tension that pre-service teachers may 16 think that taking control of the class might also sacrifice their desired closeness with students which is resulted in making the pre-service teachers confuse. Therefore, this confusion can lead them to tension. The next is feeling of lacking knowledge toward subject matter. Pre- service teachers might think that they are not knowledgeable enough to teach certain part of subject matter. It is usually signed by the uneasiness shown from the pre-service teacher when was asked to explain the subject matter in different way Pillen, Beijaard, Brok, 2013 or when pre-service teachers also have to respect their students integrity Pillen et.al, 2012, such as how to respond properly to critical students who always ask unexpected questions related to the material. The uneasiness from pre-service teachers feeling related to their knowledge toward material could influence them in having tension. The last is being less confident caused by the fact of being inexperience. Pre-service teachers can have tensions because they felt insecure because of their age as cited in Pillen et al, 2013, p. 35. It is a common sense that more age means more experiences, although that is not totally correct. The fact of being inexperience usually can make pre-service teachers less confident in taking responsibility as a teacher. It can also affect the performance in doing teaching and administrating tasks as they may think that they are not or have not been capable for the given tasks. 17

b. Conflict between Desired and Actual Supports Given to Students