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4.2.2 Being sexually abused by her father
There is another terrifying event when Gayle is four years old. Besides abusing her mother, her father also begins sexually abusing her and this horror
filled event continues for the next eight years. Because of this action, Gayle feels terrified, shocked and bewildered. Even when Gayle tries to find ways of getting
away, her father can catch Gayle. However, she cannot avoid her father because
her father is tricky.
By this time there was another horror to contend with. When I was four my father had begun sexually abusing me – and he was to continue doing
so for the next eight years. The first time it happened I was terrified, shocked, and bewildered. I didn’t understand what he was doing, but I
knew it was very wrong …
I did everything I could to avoid being alone with him, but he was far too big, strong, and, clever for me to be able to escape him Sanders 28.
The points above show that Gayle has experienced these terrifying events
which make her traumatized. Those traumatic events will stay in Gayle’s life until there is support and help from others. This will have long lasting effects. Wilson,
Nathan, O’Leary, and Clark 152 state that someone who has long – term PTSD has usually experienced a fearful traumatic event, for example when having
experienced sexual abuse in childhood or witnessed a murder. Gayle cannot predict when her father will abuse her. She feels in danger
and threatened. Gayle’s father will abuse her any time he wants. It is all too dreadful for Gayle and seems like a fresh shock. The threat is always there and
sometimes her father will molest her Sanders 29. Although she knows deep down that her father will never stop, at the same time she has a hope that it will be
never happen again.
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38 When Gayle was ten, her mother is in process of divorcing her father. She
has to find some proof to be brought to the court in order to strengthen her desire to divorce. What her father has done to Gayle is one of the proofs which
strengthen her testimony. Around this time, when I was just ten, something happened which with
hindsight, might well have been a significant factor in Mum’s decision to file for divorce. My father was still regularly sexually abusing me. I had
never told anyone - it didn’t even occur to me to do so, as I was too frightened of the consequences. But one day, after another brutal assault, I
went to the loo and saw the blood in my knickers. This hadn’t happened before and it shocked and frightened me Sanders 79.
Gayle never tells anyone about her father’s disgusting activity. She only keeps silent because she is too frightened of the consequences that she will faced
if she tells anyone she is frightened that her father will kill her mother if she manages to tell other people Sanders 30. She does not know what to do, but later
she realizes that she has to find a way of letting someone know. Based on the analysis above, Gayle experiences sexual abuse. Gayle cannot
do anything to prevent her father from doing this to her. She is too weak and too frightened to defeat her father. As proof, firstly she avoids being alone with her
father but her father is too big, strong, and, clever so that Gayle is unable to escape from him. Secondly, Gayle is unable to tell to anyone what her father has
done to her because she is too afraid. Considering to the theory of Davison G-26 about trauma, Gayle’s bad experience is categorized as a thing which makes her
traumatized. From this analysis we can see that Gayle is a smart girl since she realizes that she has to find a way of letting someone know about the abuse.
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39
4.2.3 Seeing her father kill her mother
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