Martandang Manjalo Tanda STEPS TO BE PRACTICED TO BE MARRIED

CHAPTER 3 STEPS TO BE PRACTICED TO BE MARRIED

The meaning of the marriage for the Batak Toba people is very important beside to get descendents. Marriage means a unity of two people: man and woman where they have been tied by religion and the society custom. Since a long time ago until nowadays, the tradition marriage is done traditionally. For the Batak people who live in the city like, Jakarta, Medan, Surabaya, Bandung, and so on, they did not do all the steps one by one. There are some steps which are usually done in marriage of Batak’s tradition, They are:

3.1 Martandang

If a man has grown up, the parents will think about his son’s partner to build up his family. This is a principle of Batak people’s parents. They always do some efforts to ask their son to get married their son’s with uncle’s daughter. This is a good marriage for Bataknese peope. The introduction of oneself among the young people man and girl can be done somewhere else; it can be at harvest, party, market, and so on. If they know each other, they will continue their meeting; the man goes to the woman’s house with a certain purpose, that’s called “Martandang”. Universitas Sumatera Utara If this meeting has been agreed between the man and the girl, the man will tell it to his parents. His parents ask his Boru to cherish the girl, this delegation is called matchmaker Domu-Domu. Matchmaker Domu-Domu who is delegated by the young man’s parents goes to the house of the girl’s parents to tell their aim of coming to their houses. Their purpose is to cherish the parent’s daughter. The daughter’s family doesn’t give direct answer but they send their Boru as matchmaker from woman’s side. Their task doesn’t cherish the man whom the girl with to get married wish but tell about the answer of the woman’s parents. Everything which is needed for preparations of the wedding ceremony is discussed by both delegations. The people who want to be matchmakers are the people who understand about the custom and have skill in that especially in order they will be successful to unity the two families. If the matchmaker has finished discussing about the arrangement of the marriage, the man’s side is officially asks about their son’s marriage. This is called “Patua Hata”. After doing this step, the next preparation will be done by both delegations.

3.2 Manjalo Tanda

If matchmaker’s task is Patua Hata, then he will have to ask the continuity of the marriage. When and where will the engagement be held? If they have agreed, the engagement can be continued by changing ring Manjalo Tanda. Manjalo tanda ceremony is done to keep up the relationship between a men with a woman by giving binding thing. Long time ago, the man’s side gave money and Universitas Sumatera Utara the woman gave Ulos, but there were some knives given by the man’s side and the woman’s side gave ulos. Nowadays the binding thing is changed by giving a ring by both sides. When the parents of the bride band bridegroom give the binding thing, both of them was tied up each other, it means that they may not have special relation with the other people. However, it does not it mean that the engagement has to be done. It is supposed one of them does not keep his promise or he is not faithful anymore, so, that the planning will be put off. This can be a fact if their attitude will make them offended and hate one with another. If this will occurred the wrong side will pay all the expense of the engagement as sanction. If the woman’s side does not keep the promise, she has to pay it twice, but if the man does not keep the promise the woman’s side does not pay detriment. This can be called “Paulak Tanda””Pasua Hata”. 3.3 Marhusip Marhusip means whispered. Marhusip is talked by each delegation between the man’s side and the woman’s side. Generally matchmaker is followed by the close family member, because the topic that they talk is about the dowry’s estimate, by the man’s side to the woman’s side. The comparison of the wedding cost between them, generally is 2:1, it means the cost from the man’s side 23 and 13 from woman’s side. Beside dowry, Ulos and the estimate fee at this Marhusip. The place for ceremony is fixed, too, at the man’s place or woman’s place. If the ceremony is done at the woman’s place is called “Ditaruhon Jual”. If it’s done at the man’s place is called “Dialap Jual”. Universitas Sumatera Utara This ceremony is called introduction from Marhata Sinamot’s Ceremony.