47 A second basis for choosing the potential husband for the daughter is related to the Upe initiation rites.
More will be said about this in chapter 5 on the Upe. Suffice it to say that the outstanding appearance of an initiate during a ceremonial singsing influenced the mother and daughter, in particular, to choose the young
man for the daughter’s husband. This is not a common method for choosing mates today, however. When a couple were fairly certain of marriage and when both parents saw evidence of this by the proper
affection shown between them, the marriage decision was made by the approving parents. During this time, the couple was not allowed to walk too closely together. If they wanted to walk, a child was invited along to stay
between them as they walked. We had opportunity to observe two young people who were promised to each other. In our home, they
seemed to avoid each other. However, when the young man spent an extended time with us away from the village, he received letters from his girlfriend that expressed her strong emotional involvement. She had so
much sorrow because of his absence, she said, that she cried and could not eat. The young man seemed amused by this.
4.3.2 Bride price
The price which a young man’s family pays for the daughter-to-be has varied over the years. Wise Rotokas parents have seen the effects of bride prices rising too high for young men to pay. In some areas of the
island, such as Buin, it has been reported that the young men are looking for wives elsewhere. The Rotokas have kept a ceiling on bride prices and have not had to handle this problem.
In the past, brides were bought using strings of opossum or flying fox teeth. Beads were also used possibly such as the blue beads mentioned earlier, which were available during the German administration.
One “fathom” about two meters long, according to the Rotokas historian, David Akoitai would be sufficient for a bride. The value of the beads was estimated at about K2.00 in today’s money. A feast was held when the
exchange was made. It is most likely that other items were exchanged at the same time.
In the late 1960s, the village council set the bride price. This figure, apparently approved by the government, was ten pounds or about K20.00. The money was kept by the young woman’s father or divided up
among their clansmen. The latest figures available were given to the author in the late 1970s. The price for a local girl was
K20.00. For a girl from outside of the Rotokas area, a limit was set at K40.00. A widow with children was worth a payment of between K2 and K4, depending upon the number of children and other circumstances.
It was also reported that when there are joint marriages between families, i.e., when a brother and sister of one family marry a sister and brother of another family, there is no payment of bride price in either case.
When a bride price is paid, the “contract” is sealed by the chewing of betel nut. Prior to this, the girl has the right to disagree with the choice of the parents. One young woman from Sisivi village disagreed with her
parent’s choice, but to no avail. She ran away to another village to stay until the man “forgot her.” When she later returned to Sisivi, she chose another man, and subsequently the two were married.
An example of a contemporary-style courtship and marriage occurred in the mid-1960s when the son of the author’s neighbors was attending an agricultural course on Buka Island. While there, he became friendly
with a young woman from the Halia language group. In time, she asked him to marry her. He agreed to do so, after speaking with her parents. Apparently, he did not need the consent of his own parents, who were living in
Togarao village at the time. A cousin, also a member of the young man’s clan, took money to Buka, in order to supplement the money which the young man had saved to pay the girl’s parents. The total amount given was
thirty-eight pounds or about K80.00.
The couple eventually came to Togarao village to live. About a year and a half after the marriage, the young woman’s mother came to live with the couple, after learning of the daughter’s pregnancy. One day, the
mother left in anger, only to return with several other Halia-speaking relatives, who insisted that the girl be allowed to return to their area. The Rotokas family, however, stood firm in that they had paid for the woman
and she was obliged to stay in the Rotokas area, which she did. In 1982, the family, including several children, were still living in Togarao. The woman was and is well accepted in the village. A relative of hers has since
married the younger brother of the first man and they are now starting a family of their own.
The story is told that in the old days, before law and order were enforced, another method of securing a girl for marriage was not uncommon. They would invite girls from a neighboring village to come and work
outside of the girls’ own locality. The interested villagers would then surround the girls and carry them off as captives. This would result in a fight or in an exchange of girls between the two villages.
48 Finally, a Catholic priest observed that arm bands with charm bags pakoto attached are used in the
Keriaka area to entice a girl who is desired for marriage or merely for a sexual relationship. The priest opened one of these bags and found betel nut, lime powder used with betel nut, and three red strings inside.
4.3.3 Marriage
