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growth, which leads us to the higher motivation such as self-esteem and self- actualization. Just as we do not concern our self with feeding food to survive each
say, so we do not take a proof of our worth by being loved and approved of by people once we have passed that stage 302-305.
2.2.2. The Meaning of Relationship
According to Stenberg, there are three basic points in relationships, Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. Intimacy is the term that deals with the
feeling of closeness. Romantic and sexual attraction is a part of passion. Commitment involves the decision that love exists and the relationship should
continue 228. The three basic points in relationships can form seven types of
relationships. They are: 1. Liking: This relationship is built with the feeling of closeness without
involving romantic and sexual attraction and the decision for continuing the relationship.
2. Companionate Love: This relationship is also categorized by Sternberg as platonic friendship. It is a close relationship between two people in which
sexual desire has been suppressed. 3. Romantic Love: People involved in this relationship have the feeling of
closeness and sexual desire but they do not take commitment as an important thing.
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4. Empty Love: Commitment exists in this relationship, but no sexual desire and intimacy.
5. Fatuous Love: Sexual desire and commitment appear in this relationship, but the feeling of closeness is not part of it.
6. Infatuated Love: The only thing that is important in infatuated love relationship is sexual desire. People cannot find the existence of closeness
and commitment inside the relationship. 7. Consummate Love: The consummate love relationship exists in marriage.
A marital couple who agrees to have intimacy and commitment takes sexual intercourse as something that completes their relationship. The
main purpose of sexual desire in this relationship is to enable the couple in bringing the new generation into the family.
Buscaglia says that there are some obstacles in building a good relationship 37. They are described like: Lack of Communication, Selfishness,
Dishonesty, Jealousy, Lack of trust, Perfectionism, Lack of flexibility, Lack of understanding, Lack of respect and Apathy.
Furthermore, Buscaglia explains that there are seven advices to develop the relationship with others 150 they are;
1. Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in relationship, lasting relationship does not just happen, they are created.
2. Do not hold on to anger, hurt or pain. They steal people’s energy and keep them from love.
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3. There are times when people may be able to give up on relationship, but never give up on relating.
4. Divorce, fighting arguing will never solve human problems; better to try to understand, warmth, and flexibility.
5. Do not become involved in pettiness, ego, and childish, hurts, these will only serve to degrade human relationships and prevent
closeness. 6. Learn to listen to others.
7. Do not allow the relationship to die or neglect.
2.1.3. Theory of Friendship According to Beebe
