Shame Psychological Impact of Sexual Abuse

38 Christmas. Grace had been putting a two-year-old to bed. She had been brain-damaged by her father, who was in jail now. It was odd to think that he was in jail, and her father, who had done things that were almost as bad, had died a hero. Steel, 1998: 196

4.2.5 Shame

Guilt and shame are often experienced when a victim believes that he or she deserved the abuse, was responsible for it, or failed to stop it. Shame is a fear-based internal state being, accompanied by beliefs of being unworthy and basically unlovable. Shame is a primary emotion that conjures up brief, intense painful feelings and a fundamental sense of inadequacy. Feelings of shame shut people down so that they can distance from the internal painful state of hopelessness. Guilt is about what we do, while shame is about who we are. Malice explained how Grace Adams looks and how she acted after she got rape from her father. Although she’s a beautiful girl, but what her father had done to her, made Grace did not concerned about her appearance or behavior of the teenagers around her age. Maybe she did not realize or did not care about her appearance. She was a pretty girl, or she would have been, if shed allowed herself to be. At seventeen, she was lean and tall, with graceful shoulders and long thin arms, beautiful long legs, and a tiny waist and full bust. Steel, 1998: 10 Shame can be experienced alone, or solely within ourselves. People could feel ashamed of themselves for thoughts, fantasies, or feelings that they experienced on their own, or in isolation. But unlike other girls her age, Grace had no interest in clothes, or boys, and if anything, she seemed to diminish her looks, rather than enhance them. She wore no makeup at all, and she wore her long coppery auburn hair straight down her back, with long bangs that hid her big corn flower-blue eyes. She never 39 seemed to look straight at anyone, or be inclined to engage them in conversation. Steel, 1996: 11 When the hearing on the Grace’s case, not many witnesses that can be asked by David to defend her. Witnesses were shells knew Grace character because shes shy. It can be seen below: But there were so few people who knew her, a few teachers, some old friends. Most people said she was shy and withdrawn, and David explained exactly why that was, she was hiding a dark secret at home, and living a life of terror. Steel, 1996: 105 Adult-induced causes of shame involve betrayal by others and a broken trust through disapproval or humiliation. Sexual abuse typically causes the child to feel dirty and bad and she often absorbs the shame of the adult who committed the offense. These feelings are often attached to adverse, confusing, or negative situations and behaviors from our past, and they can be just as potent now as they were then. Some feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment disappear or are transformed quickly. Some of these feelings stay with us for a long time. As unpleasant as they are to think and talk about, these emotions are a part of life, part of how we learn about ourselves, and part of figuring out how we can move forward in a way that feels more in line with who we wish to become. As we each have a great many years ahead of us, we can take a stand with regard to how best to prevent further encounters with these unpleasant feelings. The impacts of childhood abuse on parenting may differ according to the abuse suffered. Childhood and adulthood victims of sexual abuse or rape are more likely to attempt or commit suicide. The association remains, even after controlling for sex, age, education, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and the presence of psychiatric disorders. The experience of being raped can lead to suicidal behavior 40 as early as adolescence. They also feel embarrassed to talk about what had happened to them. After getting sexual abused, Grace experiencing some impact among others anxiety, anger, dissociation, Posttraumatic Stress PTSD, and shame. But Grace was determined to rebuild her lives. She takes time and the process to get out of psychological impact that happened.

4.3 How The Leading Character Overcome the Psychological Impact of Sexual Abuse