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THE ROLE OF MARIA’S CHARACTERISTICS IN SHAPING
HER UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE IN PAULO COELHO’S
ELEVEN MINUTES
AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements
For the Degree of Sarjana Sastra In English Letters
By
IREDA HENINGTYASTUTI
Student Number: 06 4214 090
ENGLISH LETTERS STUDY PROGRAMME
DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH LETTERS
FACULTY OF LETTERS
SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY
YOGYAKARTA
THE ROLE OF MARIA’S CHARACTERISTICS IN SHAPING
HER UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE IN PAULO COELHO’S
ELEVEN MINUTES
AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements
For the Degree of Sarjana Sastra In English Letters
By
IREDA HENINGTYASTUTI
Student Number: 06 4214 090
ENGLISH LETTERS STUDY PROGRAMME
DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH LETTERS
FACULTY OF LETTERS
SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY
YOGYAKARTA
Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy. Love does not brag, is not
proud, does not behave itself inappropriately, does not seek its own way,
is not provoked, takes no account of evil; does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails …. But now
faith, hope, and love remain—these three. The greatest of these is love.
(1 Corinthians 13)
LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI KARYA ILMIAH
UNTUK KEPENTINGAN AKADEMIS
Yang bertanda tangan di bawah ini, saya mahasiswa Universitas Sanata Dharma: Nama : Ireda Heningtyastuti Nomor Mahasiswa : 06 4214 090
Demi pengembangan ilmu pengetahuan, saya memberikan kepada Perpustakaan Universitas Sanata Dharma karya ilmiah saya yang berjudul:
THE ROLE OF MARIA’S CHARACTERISTICS IN SHAPING HER
UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE IN PAULO COELHO’S ELEVEN
MINUTES
beserta perangkat yang diperlukan. Dengan demikian saya memberikan kepada Perpustakaan Universitas Sanata Dharma hak untuk menyimpan, mengalihkan dalam bentuk media lain, mengelolanya dalam bentuk pangkalan data, mendistribusikan secara terbatas, dan mempublikasikannya di Internet atau media lain untuk kepentingan akademis tanpa perlu meminta ijin dari saya maupun memberikan royalti kepada saya selama tetap mencantumkan nama saya sebagai penulis.
Demikian pernyataan ini yang saya buat dengan sebenarnya. Dibuat di Yogyakarta Pada tanggal : 31 Januari 2012 Yang menyatakan Ireda Heningtyastuti
STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY
I honestly declare that this thesis, which I have written, does not contain the work or parts of the work of other people, except those cited in the quotations and the references, as a scientific paper should.
Made in : Yogyakarta
th
Date : February 29 , 2012 The writer Ireda Heningtyastuti 06 4214 090
This undergraduate thesis is dedicated to: My beloved parents My brother and Mom Petit Ami All English Letters’ fellows
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
First of all, I would like to thank to Jesus Christ for making all this happen. I thank Him for His endless blessing and guidance to finish my thesis—a rich moment of my lifetime.
I would like to express my gratitude to my advisor Adventina Putranti,
S.S., M.Hum. for being so understanding, motivating, and inspiring as I prepared
this thesis. I could not have finished this without her. I would also like to thank my co-advisor Dr. F.X. Siswadi, M.A. and my examiner Ni Luh Putu
Rosiandani, S.S., M.Hum. for being so helpful and patient.
My deep thanks go to my beloved parents for their greatest love: Agnes Nursihati and Agustinus Mudjiardi. I am so lucky to have parents like them. I also thank my brother Gabriel Reza Kukuh W.
I would like to thank all my friends in English Letters Sanata Dharma University: Bila, Danas, Puput, Dewi, Fika, Vero, Elsa, Asti, Kiki, Wahyu, Hasan, Dima, Ira, Sita, Dea, and all of 2006 folks. I thank for the friendship they have given to me. I also thank to Nia for her time to check this thesis, Towi and Anis for their printer, mbak Nina and mbak Ajeng for their books. I would like to thank Nusantara Danang Saputra for his support to finish this thesis. I really thank for suggestion, motivation, and patience for me.
Last, but certainly not least, I thank all English Letters’ lectures and USD staff, relatives, and all friends that I cannot mention one by one whose help is very
TABLE OF CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE …………………………………………………………......... i APPROVAL PAGE ………………………………………………………... ii ACCEPTANCE PAGE …………………………………………………….. iii MOTTO PAGE ……………………………………………………….......... iv
LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI KARYA ILMIAH
UNTUK KEPENTINGAN AKADEMIS …………………………………………. v
STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY …………………………….. vi DEDICATION PAGE ……………………………………………………... vii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ………………………………………………... viii TABLE OF CONTENTS …………………………………………………... ix ABSTRACT ………………………………………………………………... xi
ABSTRAK …………………………………………………………………………… xii
CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION ………………………………………...1 A. Background of the Study ……………………………………………
1 B. Problem Formulation ………………………………………………..
4 C. Objectives of the Study ……………………………………………...
4 D. Definition of Terms …………………………………………………
4 CHAPTER II: THEORETICAL REVIEW ……………………………..
6 A. Review of Related Studies …………………………………………..
6 B. Review of Related Theories …………………………………………
8
1. Theory of Character and Characterization ………………………
8 2. Theory of Love …………………………………………………..
10 3. Theory of Christian Love ………………………………………..
17 C. Theoretical Framework ……………………………………………...
23 CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY ……………………………………...
24 A. Object of the Study ………………………………………………….
24 B. Approach of the Study ………………………………………………
25 C. Method of the Study ………………………………………………...
26 CHAPTER IV: ANALYSIS ………………………………………………
27 A. The Characteristics of Maria ………………………………………..
27
1. Attractiveness ……………………………………………………
27 2. High Curiosity …………………………………………………...
30
3. High Motivation …………………………………………………
33 4. Religiosity ……………………………………………………….
35 B. The Role of Maria’s Characteristics in Shaping Her Understanding of Love ………………………………………………………………
39
3. The Role of High Motivation in Understanding Love ……………………………………………………………………
53
4. The Role of Religiosity in Understanding Love …………………………………………………………………..
59 CHAPTER V: CONCLUSION …………………………………………...
72
75 BIBLIOGRAPHY …………………………………………………………
ABSTRACT
IREDA HENINGTYASTUTI. The Role of Maria’s Characteristics in Shaping
Her Understanding of Love in Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes. Yogyakarta:
Department of English Letters, Faculty of Letters, Sanata Dharma University, 2012.
Eleven Minutes is a novel by Paulo Coelho. This novel is different from
other his works. Coelho tries to lift up the prostitution’s life and her love. Love is God’s gift, every person has it. Some people think love is a simple thing but for Maria, love is a difficult thing to understand. The writer tries to discuss the main character in the novel, who wants to find the real meaning of love. She cannot differentiate both love and sex because of her bad experiences of love since her childhood.
This study is aimed to solve two problems. The first problem is finding the characteristics of major character, Maria. The second problem is the role of Maria’s characteristics in understanding of love.
The writer collected many data to support the research. There are three steps to analyze this study. The first step is to read and reread the novel until getting better understanding in order to gain the point of the story. Second step, the writer gathered the main data of this research is Paulo Coelho’s novel entitled
Eleven Minutes. Other sources which are closely to the study such as are books,
articles, magazines are really helpful. Moral-philosophical approach is used in analyzing this study. The third step was analyzing about character as the intrinsic element. Maria is examined by using moral-philosophical approach because it teaches her in understanding meaning of love and also as the basic position of such critics is that the larger function of literature is to teach morality and to probe philosophical issues.
Maria is the major character described as attractive, high curiosity, high motivation, and religious woman of age 23. In her childhood and adolescence years, she has many sexual experiences such as falling in love, masturbating, kissing, and making love. In her opinion love is a terrible thing that will make her suffer. She is always curios to differentiate between love and sex. In her curiosity to find the answer of her question, she decides to work as a prostitute. However, her life changes after meeting a handsome painter, name Ralf Hart. Ralf made her answered the things that she really wanted to understand, and understand the pain of love, the things that she tried to avoid for a long time. In conclusion, the essence of love is not only merely physical touch. True love beyond an intercourse because the real meaning of love will always be likened dancing in eternity. The real meaning of love is the same as God's love (agape); His love is also whole time without any end for human being.
ABSTRAK
IREDA HENINGTYASTUTI. The Role of Maria’s Characteristics in Shaping
Her Understanding of Love in Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes. Yogyakarta:
Department of English Letters, Faculty of Letters, Sanata Dharma University, 2012.
Eleven Minutes adalah novel yang dikarang oleh Paulo Coelho. Novel ini
berbeda dari novel-novel lain karangannya. Coelho mencoba untuk mengangkat kisah hidup dan percintaan seorang prostitusi. Cinta adalah pemberian Tuhan, masing-masing orang memiliki cinta. Sebagian orang berpikir jika cinta adalah sesuatu yang sederhana namun bagi Maria, cinta adalah sesuatu yang sulit untuk dipahami maknanya. Penulis mencoba untuk mendiskusikan tokoh utama di dalam novel tersebut yang mempunyai keinginan untuk menemukan arti cinta yang sesungguhnya. Dia tidak mampu membedakan antara cinta dan seks karena dia memiliki pengalaman yang buruk mengenai cinta semenjak dia masih kecil.
Penelitian ini bertujuan untuk memecahkan dua permasalahan. Permasalahan pertama yaitu berkaitan dengan perwatakan Maria sebagai tokoh utama dalam novel. Permasalahan kedua yaitu berkaitan mengenai peran dari perwatakan tokoh utama dalam memahami cinta.
Peneliti mengumpulkan banyak data supaya mendapatkan penelitian yang dapat dimengerti. Terdapat tiga langkah untuk menganalisis penelitian ini. Langkah pertama yaitu membaca dan membaca ulang novel tersebut sampai pemahaman tentang cerita dapat dicapai. Pada langkah kedua, peneliti mengumpulkan data utama penelitian ini yaitu novel Paulo Coelho yang berjudul
Eleven Minutes . Sumber lain yang mendukung penelitian ini seperti buku, artikel,
majalah yang sangat berguna dalam penelitian ini. Pendekatan moral-filosofikal digunakan untuk menganalisis penelitian ini. Langkah ketiga yaitu menganalisis mengenai tokoh utama sebagai elemen yang intrinsik. Tokoh utama Maria dianalisis menggunakan pendekatan moral-filosofikal karena secara keseluruhan pendekatan ini mengajarkan dia dalam pemahaman arti cinta dan juga sebagai kritik mendasar yang memiliki fungsi literatur yang besar untuk mengajarkan moralitas dan menyelidiki isu filosofi.
Maria adalah tokoh utama yang dideskripsikan sebagai wanita berumur 23 tahun yang menarik, memiliki rasa penasaran yang tinggi, bermotivasi tinggi, dan beriman pada Tuhan Yesus dan Bunda Maria. Di masa kanak-kanaknya dan remajanya, dia memiliki banyak pengalaman seksual seperti jatuh cinta, bermasturbasi, berciuman, dan bercinta. Menurut pendapatnya mengenai cinta, cinta adalah sesuatu yang mengerikan yang akan membuat dia sakit karenanya. Dia selalu penasaran unrtuk membedakan antara cinta dan seks. Di dalam rasa penasarannya untuk menemukan jawaban atas pertanyaannya, dia memutuskan untuk bekerja sebagai seorang prostitusi. Namun, hidupnya berubah setelah persetubuhan karena arti cinta yang sesungguhnya diumpamakan akan selalu berdansa di dalam keabadian. Arti cinta yang sesungguhnya sama seperti cinta Tuhan (agape); cintaNya juga abadi sepanjang masa bagi kita umatNya.
CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION A. Background of the Study Reading is an important activity for many people. Reading can be one of
daily activities and it can be also the way to fulfill people’s needs. By reading people find many advantages such as knowledge, new information, and imagination. It helps people to develop their character and behavior so they can make many relation with others not isolated. There are two versions in reading, they are reading non-fiction book and reading fiction book. In An Introduction to
Fiction , Stanton (1965) gives the reason why serious fiction is more difficult than
a popular fiction.“A popular fiction is easy to read because it merely ‘tells a story’ whereas a serious fiction is more difficult because it contains two additional elements: a theme or central idea which the reader is expected to dig cut and certain artistic device which the reader expected to recognize and admire.” (Stanton, 1965:2) A serious fiction is more difficult because it contains two additional elements.
First central idea or theme where the reader is expected to understand. Second is a certain artistic device which the reader expected to recognize and admire.
Furthermore Stanton explains that reading a popular fiction is more enjoyable, while a serious fiction is better than popular fiction because it teaches people something. A serious fiction will make people have capability to understand and
God creates the creatures in the world; such as human, animals, and plants. However, the highest status creatures are the human persons. People are the perfect creature with the physical and mental abilities are senses to feel their surroundings. The most common feeling that never ends to discuss is the love. For everyone love is something essential because love is a gift from God. Not only teenagers who discuss about this thing but also children up to adults. We can say if without love we are nothing. God sends His son to the world to save human being because He loves us.
Love is never ending to discuss in whatever situation. Sometimes love is called as the causes of the damage in the world. However, that statement is wrong because love is really important in every side of people’s life. Because of love, people can create happy family, have long ancestry, and live in society. There is statement although you can move a mountain, have high intelligence but if you do not have love, it’s nothing. In Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, the love itself has many meanings one of them is ‘a strong feeling of caring for and liking someone, combined with sexual attraction, an expression of deep heart so will be stated ‘I love you’, high enthusiasm’(Summers, 2001:1081).
Other words to express people’s feeling about love are amorous (in Latin
amore ), affection, smite, until adoration. In history of human it is true that step of
human’s life was begin from love in process of pregnancy, born, and then become children, teenager, and adult till the end. love that already we have. According to Fromm there are four terms to form love; knowledge, responsibility, caring, and respect. They are a syndrome of behavior which is to be found in the mature person. Everyone has own definition to give meaning of love. Each individual will be different to give explanation ‘what is love?’ According some people, falling in love is a private experience which is interesting and unique. However, it is better for someone loving his love with regard moral ethics, aesthetic, and wholehearted. It is important to pay attention for those four things (knowledge, responsibility, caring, and respect) because love without it will be ended with regretfully (Fromm, 1956:24).
Feeling to love cannot deny inspiring art worker to produce their works in song, prose or in novel. In this case make Paulo Coelho a Brazilian writer, write a novel entitled Eleven Minutes. In this novel, the most important point that we have to pay attention is about the main character Maria, who tried to find the meaning of love after many experiences which she has already experienced, even though it needs high struggle to find it.
Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho is a different novel from other Coelho’s works which uses transparent and vulgar language to explain content of the story.
This novel is very bravery to tell a sensitive story about prostitute life to find the meaning of love. In eastern culture, sex is something taboo to discuss, but in this novel it becomes an interesting topic. Vulgar language is used by the writer to give detail content of the story in order to make the readers understand. In this
In this study the writer decides to make title The Role of Maria’s
Characteristics in Shaping Her Understanding of Love in Paulo Coelho’s Eleven
Minutes because the writer wants to see Maria’s perspective toward love in
Christian love perspective.
B. Problem Formulation
The writer has formulated problem formulation in order to have thorough analysis. This study will be focused on the problems stated below:
1. How is Maria characterized in Coelho’s Eleven Minutes?
2. What is the role of Maria’s characteristics in shaping her understanding of love?
C. Objectives of the Study
Considering the problems formulation above, there are two objectives in this study. The first objective is to find out Maria’s characteristics as the main character in this novel. The second objective is to know the role of Maria’s characteristics in shaping her understanding of love.
D. Definition of Terms
In order to make the same perception and avoid misunderstanding about idea in this analysis, the definitions of terms are important. They are:
1. Character According to M.H Abrams in A Glossary of Literary Terms, character is the name of a literary genre; it is a short, and usually witty, sketch in prose of a distinctive type of person (Abrams, 1971:23).
2. Represent In the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, represent (in past represented) has the meaning to describe someone in a particular way, so that people have a particular opinion of them. (Summers, 2001:1532)
CHAPTER II THEORETICAL REVIEW A. Review of Related Studies The first reason why the writer chooses Eleven Minutes to analyze because Paulo Coelho is actually a quite bestseller-producer, with 50 million books sold
worldwide. In some ways my impression from Eleven Minutes is similar to The
Alchemist . The book is written very well, it’s readable and flows quickly. It talks
about certain life philosophies, with the main theme being the search of the main character for the meaning of life. It is not surprising that Coelho’s books are such bestsellers. They read and tie you down like a soap-opera, and leave you with a
th certain imprint of profoundness (Ely Bendersky, accessed on August 26 , 2010).
As a good writer Coelho tries to tell about certain life philosophies. His language style and imagination bring us to imagine all his stories.
In Marleni’s thesis, written that Maria is beautiful and has high curiosity on sexuality to have orgasm through sexual intercourse. In her journey to answer her curiosity, she works as a prostitute. However, she just gets orgasm twice. In Marleni’s research, she says “Maria has a sexual disorder called Female Orgasmic
Disorder (FOD), when a woman cannot reach orgasm through sexual intercourse.
She is unable orgasm because since she is at very young age always uses masturbation to reach orgasm” (Marleni, 2010:72). Maria is described as a young behavior. In her adult, she becomes an enthusiasm young woman to reach orgasm by doing sexual intercourse.
Eleven Minutes tells a story of a young girl who falls in love at the age of eleven and discovers that sex actually only takes eleven minutes.
In her odyssey of self-discovery, the girl has to choose between pursuing a part of darkness, sexual pleasure for its own sake, or risking everything to find her own 'inner light' and the possibility of sacred sex, sex in the context of love. In this gripping and daring novel, Coelho sensitively explores the sacred nature of
th
sex and love. (Mavrky, accessed on August 28 , 2010) Maria is described as a beautiful, young, ambitious, touch and smart girl of age 23. She is a girl with a simple dream which is to love and be loved. Love and sexuality is Maria’s biggest concern. She is a smart girl who wants to know everything bothering her mind. In her journey she suffers sexual dysfunction because of the absence of love in many her love stories (Antono, 2006:52-54). As a young smart woman who has many talents she can arrange her time to study anything. However, she prefers to learn about love-sex and tries to differentiate both of them. The cause of Maria’s sexual dysfunction is the absence of love.
In this thesis, the writer tries to analyze Eleven Minutes. The important focus is the role of Maria’s characteristics in shaping Maria’s understanding of love. This thesis will be different from Marleni’s analysis which focuses on the process of contribution Maria’s characterization and past sexual experiences in because of the absence of love. This thesis has own characteristic, the writer wants to analyze the character of Maria which has contribution in her journey to find the meaning of love. In the process of finding her purpose, there are many events that have relation one another. The important point will be related with the meaning of love in Maria’s perspective by seeing from moral-philosophical approach which relevant to Christian love’s perspective.
B. Review of Related Theories
1. Theory of Character and Characterization
Character is one of the main intrinsic elements in a literary work. A character gives the readers explanation about how the story flows thus the readers can imagine what the story tells about. Furthermore, this theory applied to see how the character is presented in this novel.
“A character is the name of literary genre; it is short, and usually witty, sketch in prose of distinctive type of person. It might be defined as a person that present in a dramatic or narrative work” (Abrams, 1971:23)
Abrams says character is the name in the literary work. It is describe in a clever and amusing way. It is as the sketch in literary work which having a special quality, appearance that is different and easy to recognize.
Barnett and Berman stated in In Literature for Composition that in writing about the characters we have to focus on personality, traits, and characteristics (Barnet and Berman, 1988:77). We know the author’s description of the the character does, the other characters (including the narrator of the story) do and say. The other characters support the character to do something that makes her or his shows her or his character. That is why; other characters may help the readers to understand what kind of character she or he is.
Some ways of classifying characters, the following are some ways in which readers sometimes classify characters. First, round vs. flat, “round characters are characters that are complex and realistic; they represent a depth of personality which is imitative of life” (Kennedy and Gioia, 1999:60-61). They frequently possess both good and bad traits, and they may react unexpectedly or become entangled in their own interior conflicts. These characters have been fully developed by an author, physically, mentally, and emotionally are detailed enough to seem real. A round character is usually a main character, and is developed over the course of the story. Flat characters tend to stay the same throughout a story; round characters often change, become enlightened, grow or go down.
Second, dynamic vs. static, “a dynamic character is the one change significantly during the course of the story. Change considered to qualify a character as dynamic includes changes in sight or understanding, changes in commitment, and changes in values”. In contrast, a static does not undergo significant change. “A static character is a literary character that remains basically unchanged throughout a work” Whether round or flat, their personalities remain essentially stable throughout the course of the story. This is commonly done with
In The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Literary Terms, characterization is a representation of a person in narrative and dramatic works which can be seen from the action, speech, and appearance of the character (Baldick, 1991:34). Therefore, the readers will consider the character as a person who might really exist; to describe the character it can be seen from what the character does, says, feels and what other characters say about the character.
There are two principle ways by which an author can characterize a character. First, a direct way which is describing the physical appearance, intellectual, moral attributes, and the degree of sensitivity of the character. Second, a dramatic means placing the character in certain conditions to show what the character is, by seeing the way she or he behaves (Rohrberger and Woods, 1971:20). Each of the principles shows the readers the qualities of character, both physically and psychologically. An image of a charactering a story that has been created by the author can be concluded perfectly by seeing those qualities. Thus, the reader will have a figure of a character based on the author creation.
2. Theory of Love
Everyone has feeling of love inside her or his heart, but society and the experience give effects for people understanding love. According to Fromm “love is union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity, one’s individuality. Love is an active power in man; a power which breaks through the walls which to retain his integrity. In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one yet remain two” (Fromm, 1956:19). Love is sometimes energy inside human person that makes falling down. It is a union which has meaning although two humans in one to keep integrity, individuality. Love is a union which has meaning although two humans but in one.
Hatfield and Rapson differentiate love into two. The first passionate love is a ‘hot’ intense emotion, sometimes called a crush, obsessive love, lovesickness, and head-over-heels in love, infatuation, or being in love. Passionate love and sexual desire almost interchangeably, passionate defines as a ‘longing for union’.
On the other hand, sexual desire has been defined as a ‘longing for sexual union’. In passionate love, it relates to sexual desire. By contrast, companionate love (sometimes called true love or marital love) is a ‘warm’ far less intense emotion.
It combines feelings of deep attachment, commitment, and intimacy (Hatfield and Rapson, 1993:5-9). In passionate love is a ‘hot’ intense emotion while in companionate love is a ‘warm’ far less emotion.
Sternberg says love consists of three elements that can draw the intimacy between two people or in interpersonal relation. They are intimacy, passion, and
commitment. Intimacy is the experience of warmth toward another person that
arises from feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness to the other. It also involves the desire to give and receive emotional support and to share one’s innermost thoughts with the other. Intimacy signs in trust feeling, opening, and that feels inside human. It is closer to the physics interesting, fantasy, and sexuality. In the first sight, someone looks in physics before understanding the behavior. Commitment, this element is a component of love that involves commitment to maintain the relationship through good times and bad times. It shapes a commitment to be tied each other a commitment to accept and keep each other (Sternberg, 1988:215). Three elements in love there are intimacy which focuses on the warmth experience that arises from closeness feeling, in passion is dominated with sexual desire that closer to physics interesting, fantasy, and sexuality. The last element is commitment in this element teaches how to keep relationship, accept and keep each other to make serious commitment.
.
These elements if combined will be eight different types of love They are: non-love, liking, infatuation or first sight love, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, consummate love. Table 1 below states the explanation presence of the elements of love.
Table 1
Combination of Three Elements of Love Eight Kind of Loves Elements of Love - - Non-love -- Liking or friendship intimacy -
Infatuation
- passion -
- intimacy commitment
Companionate love
- Fatuous love passion commitment
Consummate love intimacy passion commitment
Adapted from Sternberg, 1988.Complete explanation of three elements of love according to Sternberg are the following:
1. Non-love A relationship in which all three components of love are absent. Most of our personal relationships are of this type-causal interactions or acquaintances that do not involve any elements of love.
2. Liking A detail a relationship based on intimacy, but not passion or commitment. The characteristic of liking is having close, intimate friendships with no long-term commitment; an example of Liking is developing an intimate friendship with a neighbor, but because commitment and passion are missing if either neighbor moves away, the relationship is not maintained.
3. Infatuation A kind of “love at first sight”. It is a relationship based on passion, with no intimacy or commitment. Infatuation is characterized by passionate attraction on sight, and an example of such would be a one night stand.
4. Empty love relationship for the ”sake of the children”. Empty love is characterized by a lack of emotional warmth or heat of passion where partners tolerate each other because of a false sense of duty, obligation, or fear of change.
5. Romantic love A relationship based on passion and intimacy; however, it lacks commitment.
Romantic love is characterized by a couple who are emotionally and physically drawn to one another without the commitment of a long-term relationship.
Romantic love lovers look at each other through “rose colored glasses” not seeing each other’s flaws.
6. Companionate love A kind of love characterized by intimacy and commitment. It often occurs in long- term relationships in which passionate attraction has waned and has been replaced by a kind of committed friendship.
7. Fatuous love This type of love associated with whirlwind romances and “quickie marriage” in which passion and commitment are present, but intimacy is not.
8. Consummate love The full or complete measure of love involving the combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment. Many of us strive for consummate love.
In Western tradition, there are four kinds of love. First, is sex or libido, second is eros toward higher forms of being and relationship. Third is philia or love of God for human. Every human experience of authentic love is a blending, in varying proportions, of these four (May, 1969:37). Four kinds of love sex or
libido , eros, philia, agape or caritas are famous kinds of love in western.
Hendrick, in his book Positive Psychological Assessment : A Handbook of
Models and Measures, developed a Love Attitude Scale that suggests the
existence of six styles of love. The styles are debt to the Greeks:
1. Romantic love (eros): “My lover fits my ideal.” “My lover and I were attracted to one another immediately.”
2. Game-playing love (ludus): “I keep my lover up in the air about my commitment.” “I get over love affairs pretty easily.”
3. Friendship (storge, philia): “The best love grows out of an enduring friendship.”
4. Logical love (pragma): “I consider a lover’s potential in life before committing myself.” “I consider whether my lover will be a good parent.”
5. Possessive, excited love (mania): “I get so excited about my love that I cannot sleep.” “When my lover ignores me, I get sick all over.”
6. Selfless love (agape): “I would do anything I can to help my lover.” “My lover’s needs and wishes are more important than my own.” (Hendrick, 2003:235-249)
Schwarz in The Psychology of Sex states that love is the driving and directing force for the sexual relationship. The executive organ for the sexual relationship. On the other hand, sexual impulse is the executive organ to control the power is spiritual element. It means that there is a closer relationship between love and sexuality.
Leclerq in Marriage and the Family: A Study in Social Philosophy states that love is heroine of a play at the beginning of the century put it, the love is in question is strictly physical love. On other hand, sex has its own definition “a natural human need like food and drink. It is true that men can survive, whereas they cannot survive without food and drink, but from psychological standpoint the desire for sex is precisely analogous to the desire for food and drink” (Leclerq, 1942:175). Love and sex as the human needs it imagines as food and drink. Many people need both of them to continue their long life lasting, sex with love is happiness.
Fromm in his book The Art of Loving says "intimacy is established primarily through sexual contact, an 'intimate' person the experience of falling in love is exhilarating and intense, and it slowly becomes less and less intense" (Fromm, 1956:49-50). It means sexual contact is the highest level and the most loving way we can expressing our love for our partner. Everyone knows that the sexual experience can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most stress-relieving, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable.
3. Theory of Christian Love
When we are discussing about love, it is actually a general concept which can be used in various conditions. It refers to many things such as God, people, animals, and so on. Love becomes important part in many societies and cultures. It is taught in many religions also. In this study, the writer uses term Christian love because Coelho’s work focus on the concept of love based on perspective of Christianity. In Coelho’s work, stated Maria as the main character who has Christianity background. The important thing in this study is love and the writer wants to relate the love with Christian perspective. Christian love is discussed because it is a relevant theory to examine Maria who has Christianity background in understanding meaning of love as a main character in the novel.
Love is a fundamental concept in Christianity. It is even used as the basic of the Christian religion. As shown in the Bible, God Himself is as the first source love in this world “God is love (agape)” (1 John 4:8). In the beginning, there is the action of His love to human being as shown in the following verses “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16) and “This is how God showed His love for us: He sent His only Son into the world that we might have life through him” (John 4:9).
Above verses in “For God so loved the world” and “This is how God showed His love for us” are clearly indicate love as the reason why God gives humans eternal
Christianity have strong relation. In another verses in the Holly Bible are clearly state that God is the source of love “It is the love of God in the love of Jesus that awakens this love for Jesus.” The reason for the love of the Father is the love for Jesus: The Father himself loves you because you love me and because you believe that I have come from God” (John 16:27). Thus, it is clear as the Christ followers believe that God is the source of love, so as Christian people should be able to show love.
In previous discussion it has been mentioned that in Christianity love is an important thing because God is love. In this work, love will often be discussed because it is the important topic which has role to answer the problem. Love and sex cannot deny that both of them have strong relation, but here the writer will discuss the relation between love and sex according to Christianity perspective. According to Andrew Landsown in A Biblical Perspective on Prostitution, he says “the Bible teaches that sex is a good gift from God to any heterosexual couples who in love and law promise enduring and exclusive fidelity to one another” (Landsowid=53, accessed on July 24, 2011). In Holy Bible, God says sex is good gift for any heterosexual couples who in love.
In Human Sexuality as Language of Love Caballes stated “sexuality is a “language” by which man or woman relates himself or herself as a sexual being.
Human sexuality as a language brings to the fore the importance of sex as a gift one’s identity as a male or as a female, to accept the other according to his or her respective gender.
Even in Old Testament God has already mentioned “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). Thus, it is very clear that God has arranged good relation between man and woman in Holy Bible.
Avvento in Sexuality: A Christian View mention “sexuality can be described as something freely created by God, an aspect of our nature of which human beings need never be embarrassed or ashamed in any way” (Avvento, 1982:18). The explanation clearly stated that sexuality is freely created by God, never be ashamed because its nature need for human.
Moreover, in Avvento’s book stated “In the bible, sex is never isolated, but always seen in the context of the whole person”. It explains in Yahwist tradition sets the sexual nature of men and women within the framework of our nature as social and relational beings. Moreover “sex is seen as a gift from God moving people from loneliness to relationship” (Avvento, 1982:18-19). On the other hand, it reveals that sexuality is related to procreation, a sharing in God’s activity and dominion over life.