22 club, a neighborhood, or a nation Feist Feist, 2006, p.280. Love and
belongings also include some aspects of sex and human contact as well as the need to both give and receive love Maslow, 1970.
The fourth need is esteem need, for example self-respect, confidence, competence, and the knowledge that others hold them in esteem
Feist Feist, 2006. The fifth need is self-actualization needs, for example self-fulfillment, the realization of all one’s potential, and a desire to become
creative in the full sense of the word Maslow, 1970. From the theories we can draw a conclusion that there are different
theories of motivation. The first theory says that motivation is emerged from thoughts, feeling, and behavior. The other theory says that motivation is a
result of physical and psychological needs.
d. Theory of Love
Love is a word that cannot be separated from man’s life. As cited by Hauck 1983, love was a feeling that we have for people who did in the
past, are in the present, or will in the future satisfy our deepest desires and needs p.22. According to Raymond 1987, love comprises such
elements as responsibility for the other, tenderness, self-disclosure, and
PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
23 exclusivity. According to Fromm 1956, “love” is the achievement of inter
personal union, of fusion with another person p.18. Fromm 1981 described love as “union with somebody, or
something outside oneself under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one’s own self” as cited in Feist Feist, 2006, p.190.
While according to May 1953, love is a “delight in the presence of the other person and affirming of that person’s value and development as
much as one’s own” as cited in Feist Feist, 2006, p.35 . The union of beloved ones is something that can delight their selves. The presence of the
beloved one will make the person valuable. On the other hands, the absence of the beloved one causes a feeling of sad, loneliness, unhappiness, or may
be the loosing of motivation to live. In The Art of Loving, Fromm 1956 identifies four basic elements
which are common to all forms of genuine love; they are care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.
Krafft-Ebing 1886 identifies five types of love: true love, sentimental love, platonic love, friendship, and sensual love as cited in
General Theories of Love. While Ellis 1954 suggests that “Love itself…includes many different types and degree of affection, such as
conjugal love, parental love, familial love, religious love, love of humanity,
PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
24 love of animals, love of things, self-love, sexual love, obsessive-compulsive
love, etc p.101. While May 1969b identifies four kinds of love in Western
tradition-sex, eros, philia, and agape as cited in Feist Feist, 2006, 352. The first is sex. According to him, sex is “still remains the power of
procreation. The drive which perpetuates the race, the source at once of human being’s most intense pleasure and his or her most pervasive anxiety
May, 1969b, p.38. In the past, sex was considered as a usual activity and could be easily accepted. However, in the modern life many people assume
that sex is a less polite conversation topic. The second is eros, May states that Eros is psychological desire that seek procreation or creation through an
enduring union with a loved one, Eros is making love; sex is manipulating organ. Therefore, this kind of love is related to sexual intercourse.
According to May 1969b, the third kind of love is philia, that is, an intimate nonsexual friendship between two people. Philia needs time to
grow and develop. It does not required people to do anything to show the love. In the simplest and general terminology, philia is called a friendship
May, 1969a, p.31. While the fourth kind is Agape, as cited by FeistFeist, 2006: 353
is “esteem for the other’s welfare beyond any gain that one can get out of it;
PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
25 disinterested love, typically, the love of God for man.” In short, an adult
relationship contains of these four kinds of love.
4. Theoretical Framework
