66 Throughout her life, Firdaus has never able to decide or choose anything. Her own
decision of being a prostitute makes her believe that finally she has her own freedom, more freedom than any other women. Firdaus says:
A womans life is always miserable. A prostitute, however, is a little better off. I was able to convince myself that I had chosen this for life of my own
free will. The fact that I rejected their noble attempts to save me my insistence on remaining a prostitute, proved to me this was my choice and
that I had some freedom to live in a situation better than that of other women El-Saadawi 89.
Firdaus suffering of being slaved and treated cruelly by men makes her think that she must live independently. Hence, she proves that she can earn money
like what men do and that she can live by herself without mens help. Firdaus then becomes the most expensive wanted prostitute. By becoming an expensive
prostitute she can even employ servants to wash her clothes and clean my shoes, hire an expensive lawyer to defend her honor, pay a doctor for an abortion, buy a
journalist to publish my picture and write something about her in the newspapers El-Saadawi 91. This shows Firdaus can finally live independently.
4.3.2.2 Killing Her Pimp
Egypt is one society with a patriarchy system. Patriarchy places men over women Pendergast and McGregor 3. Hence, women are considered as a second
class while men are the first in a society. Men are also considered as masters while women are considered as slaves whose job is to serve the masters. Womans
position as a slave for men is found in the novel. The novel describes that Firdaus cannot be one of the masters. A woman on her own cannot be a master El-Saadawi
95. One day, a pimp named Marzouk comes to Firdaus and says that he wants
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67 her to work for him. Firstly, because of her fear of Marzouk, Firdaus agrees to work
for him El-Saadawi 92-94. After a while of her slaving to Marzouk, Firdaus discovers that she becomes a body machine who works day and night so that he
becomes rich but of her efforts El-Saadawi 94. Hence, Firdaus decides to leave Marzouk and live by her own.
I packed my papers in a small bag and got ready to leave, but suddenly he appeared, standing in front of me.
“Where are you going?” he asked. “Im going to look for work. I still have my secondary school certificate.”
“And who said that you are not working?” “I want to choose the work Im going to do.”
“Who says anyone in this whole wide world chooses the work he wants to do?”
“I dont want to be anybodys slave.” “And who says there is anyone who is someone elses slave? There are only
two categories of people, Firdaus, masters and slaves.” “In that case I want to be the one of the masters and not one of the slaves.”
“How can you be one of the masters? A woman on her own cannot be a master, let alone a woman whos prostitute. Cant you see youre asking for
the impossible?”
“The word impossible does not exist for me,” I said. I tried to slip through the door, but he pushed me back and shut it. I looked
him in the eye and said, “I intend to leave.” El-Saadawi 94-95
This shows Firdaus refusal of being a slave for Marzouk. Unfortunately, Marzouk does not let Firdaus go. Since their domination toward her, on her entire life
Firdaus hides her hatred toward men. Firdaus hatred of men which she has hide for her entire life finally comes up. Firdaus knows that her hatred toward man is only
as a slave can hate her master. Firdaus sees that Marzouk fears of her from his expression in his eyes. But his fear is only as a master can fear his slave. But it lasts
for only a second. Then, Firdaus sees the arrogance and aggressive look of a male on Marzouk El-Saadawi 95. Thus, she knows Marzouk is going to make her as
his slave. Firdaus hatred toward men and her desire of not being a slave for men
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68 anymore makes Firdaus decides to kill him. Firdaus’ killing Marzouk is described
in the novel as below: I raised my hand even higher than he had done, and brought it down
violently on his face. The whites of his eyes went red. His hand started to reach for the knife he carried in his pocket, but my hand was quicker than
his. I raised the knife and buried it deep in his neck, pulled it out of his neck and then thrust it deep into his chest, pulled it out of his chest and plunged it
deep into his belly. I stuck the knife into almost every part of his body El- Saadawi 95.
Finally Firdaus realizes that even she is a woman she can kill a man, a man who is stronger and becomes the master throughout her life. It leads her to think that
maybe if from the beginning she knew that she can fight a man, she would never experience the sexual abuses and the mens domination over her. In fact, men and
women can do anything in equal. All she needs to do is hide her fear toward men to state her presence to them, to show them that she is also able to be like them.
Firdaus having no fear toward men causes mens fear of her existence. They know as long as Firdaus live they will not be safe. Firdaus’ life means their death. In the
other side, Firdaus death means their life El-Saadawi 100. Now, Firdaus has no fear to lift her hand and to defend herself from the brutality of men around her.
Fear made me see this movement as being something very difficult to carry out. I did not know how to get rid of this fear, until the moment when I
raised my hand for the first time. The movement of my hand upwards and downwards destroyed my fear. I realized that it was an easy movement to
execute, much easier than I ever thought it could be. Now my hand was no longer incapable of lifting itself high up in the air to land with violence on
one of their faces El-Saadawi 102.
Finally, Firdaus is able to get rid of her fear. Thus, she can raise her hand and defend herself from men. It makes Firdaus thinks that if only she knows that she
can get rid her fear and does the violence which men do to her, maybe she will not be the victim of men’s brutality against her previously.
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69
4.3.2.3 Accepting the Death Sentence
