Esteem Needs as the Motivation in Doing Plastic Surgery
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Her needs for self-confidence, freedom, competency and achievement are not fulfilled because of two factors. Firstly, Hope is by nature very shy and
pessimistic. Thus, it is very hard for her to gain even a little sense of self- confidence, competency and achievement. She is imprisoned within her shy and
pessimistic characteristics, so she is also deprived of any sense of freedom. For example, although she is physically healthy, rich, and achieves highly in
university both in academic and extra-curricular fields, she is antisocial and easily panics when meeting people, as shown in her statement “I was most definitely not
a people person. Though I hid it well, I was staggeringly shy. I was in a sorority, but I was not at all social. I led campus tours, but suffered panic attacks before
nearly every one” Donahue 26. She admits and wonders herself how come she has no confidence, competence, achievement, or freedom like her friends and
other people, despite her health, wealth, and education, as shown in the following quotation.
I listen to their preparations with a sense of wonder. How are they able to go out into the world each day, fresh and full of energy, instead of crippled
by fear and plagued by dragging lethargy? How is it that I have lost the knack for everyday life? It can’t be that hard; people far less educated and
capable and robust than I am do it every day. And yet I can’t imagine going to a job, even looking for a job. Not only would I surely fail at my
responsibilities, I can’t make it through the day without lying down on my bed to rest every few hours Donahue 30.
As another example, even after a new achievement, the achievement does not help her to build her esteem. She still describes her self-confidence as
“parched”. The praise or honor from people around her quickly drains away instead of building her esteem, as shown in the following quotation.
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Being accepted to Berkeley, like all my other achievements, was a hollow accolade. I waved the acceptance letter around to my parents and my
boyfriend, Hart, of whose affection I was never sure, hoping for a shower of praise that would temporarily soak my parched self-confidence. As if
poured into a sieve, the good feeling my shiny accomplishments gave me drained quickly away Donahue 26-27.
Secondly, Hope’s needs for self-confidence, freedom, competency and achievement are hindered by her loved ones. They do not help Hope to develop
her sense of self-confidence, freedom, competency and achievement, but instead, they make her feel more deprived of those needs. It is shown in Hope’s statement
that “With my mother, my father, with boyfriends, with Dr. S--, I always felt like the weaker one, the one who wanted, the one who pined for more” Donahue
175. Parents play an important role in developing their child’s esteem, but Hope’s parents fail to do it. Hope’s mother always brags about Hope’s beauty in
front of other people, but she never gives Hope any encouragement about her appearance directly. Hope’s mother just criticizes her, for example by telling her
“to lie in the sun next to her so she wouldn’t be so pasty” Donahue 52. As another example, Hope’s mother blames her and calls her “hopeless” when she is
too shy to talk to a boy she likes. I lolled by the pool in my new bikini, hoping that Dominic LaChapelle, the
cutest boy in town, would stare at me. My mother nudged me when she saw him looking. “His family has a vineyard,” she hissed to me. “They’ve
got the big bucks.” When this failed to motivate me, she took a more direct approach. “Go talk to him What on earth are you waiting for?”
But I just sat dumbly on my towel, staring at the constellation of moles on my stomach.
“Oh, you’re hopeless” she cried. “Now you’ve lost your chance. You’ve got to be assertive with a man” Donahue 52.
Hope’s mother’s approach is certainly intimidating and does not help Hope overcome her shyness. As a result, Hope feels even less competent and less
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confident about herself. Furthermore, Hope’s mother does not give the needed support when Hope starts being addicted to plastic surgery. Instead of
accompanying her and helping her develop her self esteem back, Hope’s mother shuns and indirectly mocks her. This is the time when Hope needs companionship
from her parents, but her mother sends her out of the house and makes her live alone in an apartment. After Hope’s fourth surgery, her mother told her “that she
would not allow her daughter’s “self-mutilation” to occur under her roof” Donahue 25. Hope also needs to discuss the cause of her addiction and the
solution, but her mother refers to her problem with an unsympathetic term, “self- mutilation”, which makes Hope unable to discuss her problem with her mother.
Hope’s boyfriend, as the next closest person in her life after her family, also does not help to develop her sense of self-confidence, freedom, competency
and achievement, but makes her feel more deprived of those needs instead. Hope says that she “was never sure” of his affection Donahue 26, which makes her
feel less confidence and competent. Furthermore, like Hope’s mother, he also shuns Hope when she needs help to boost her esteem, which makes her realize
more about her lack of confidence, as described below. In spite of my beseeching, Hart had no intention of letting me stay on with
him. I would hang around his neck like an albatross, he said, a listless and expensive decoration. And he was right: I had lost all confidence in my
ability to hold a conversation, let alone a job Donahue 28.
Therefore, self-esteem needs form a part of Hope Donahue’s motivation in doing plastic surgery. It motivates Hope to do plastic surgery in order to gain
stable and healthy self-esteem. In Hope’s case, esteem needs are strongly related to aesthetic needs. Her esteem needs are hindered and eclipsed by her aesthetic
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needs. She believes that if she does plastic surgery, she will be more beautiful and thus be able to gain self-confidence, competency, self-control, achievement, and
freedom. In her mind, her new beauty from the plastic surgery will be the key to shed her lack of esteem and to gain full esteem, as shown in the quotations below.
How can I resist a delicious, illicit offer to become someone I am not? Does Dr. S— see inside me, does he know that if I could, I would shed my
face and body, my very self, on his table as nimbly as a snake sheds its skin and leaves it there, outgrown and discarded, in favor of becoming a
beautiful stranger? Donahue 6
I never believed what I’d told the first doctor, Dr. D--, that the only thing about myself I wanted to change was nose. Even then I was thinking
cheeks, lips, maybe breasts. But I did believe that, after I’d fixed these things about myself, I would be happy. I would emerge from beneath the
bandages like a butterfly from a gauze cocoon and fly off into the world, free and full of confidence Donahue 36.
Of course, in reality, Hope’s beauty from the plastic surgery does not help her fulfill her esteem needs. On the contrary, she still feels lack of confidence and
her plastic surgery addiction makes her even more deprived of self esteem, because she realizes that she has to resort to such an extreme way to compensate
for her weakness, as shown in the quotation below. But in the end my self-aggrandizing backfired, drawing me back to the
same inevitable conclusion: If I was so perfect, then what was I doing at age twenty-three going from doctor to doctor, my big fat lack of
confidence blowing the whole perfect picture to smithereens? Donahue 70
As a result of the condition above, Hope gets caught in a vicious cycle. The more she is deprived of self esteem needs, the more she is motivated to do plastic
surgery to gain more esteem. After she does plastic surgery, she is deprived of her self esteem, so she needs to do another plastic surgery to gain her self esteem
back, and so on.
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