considered as an authoritarian mother. Based on the styles of parenting proposed by Baumrind in Noller and Fitzpatrick, an authoritarian parents attempt to shape,
control, evaluate the behavior and attitudes of the child in accordance with standard behavior and what the parents said. In the novel, Sara shapes, controls
and decides what is right for her daughter. Consequently, Anna rebels against her. Sara’s excessive attention to Kate also creates friction between them. However,
both of them love each other so they try to solve their conflicts. Sara tends to use avoidance, competition or pushing aggression, compromise, and solving the
problems. While Anna uses avoidance and competition in order to solve their problems.
3. The Relationship between Sara and Jesse
a. The Relationship
According to Allers 245, the most intimate of all of forms of association between two people is found in the relationship between mother and children.
Thus, a mother is the one who has the most intimate contact with the children. Since mother is the first care giver, a child looks for her mother’s protection and
preservation. In other word, mother becomes the first person who is told about her child’s suffering. This also happens in the relationship between Sara and Jesse.
Sara becomes the first place for Jesse to release his pain after he undergoes blood test. Jesse is the only sibling who is expected to transplant his morrow to
Kate when Anna has not been born. He endures blood test to know whether he can be a potential donor for Kate or not. After the process of taking his blood,
Jesse runs to his mother’s arm and tells that the phlebotomist sticks him. He also holds up his finger which covers with a Rugrats Band-Aid. Sara, then, holds him
closely and calms him from his anxiety Picoult 77. Besides releasing Jesse’s pain, Sara also becomes the first place that Jesse
looks for getting protection from unfairness. One day, Jesse is afraid of his father’s anger when he protests that Kate is allowed to finish eating beans while
he is not. Brian loses his control when Jesse accuses him treating them unfairly. Jesse is frightened and looks for protection under his mother’s arm Picoult 80. It
describes that Sara is his first place where he feels secure and is protected from the fairness.
To sump up, their relationship is warmer in Jesse’s childhood than his adulthood. Jesse comes to her mother and has his mother give him a protection
when he feels afraid coping with the terrible situation. On the contrary, his relationship with her mother comes up to the frictions when he is growing up to
be adult. He feels getting lack of attention and thinks that her mother takes care of Kate’s life only.
b. The Conflicts
According to Noller and Fitzpatrick 9, a family conflict occurs because of the different point of view among others’ behavior, opinion, and decision. One
decides and does something considered as the right action but not for others. That different view also leads to the friction between them. The conflict starts when
Sara cancels their plan to go to Jesse’s orthodontist and to buy a pair of new
cleats. Sara wants to accompany Kate because she is severely sick. Precisely, Jesse thinks that his mother only revolves the world around her dying sister.
. . . Your sister,” I say evenly, “is incredibly sick. I’m sorry if that interferes
with your dentist’s appointment or your plan to go buy a pair of cleats. But those don’t rate quite as high in the grand scheme of things right now. I’d
think that since you’re ten, you might be able to grow enough to realize that the whole world doesn’t always revolve around you.”
. . . “Yeah, right, she’s sick,” he says. Why don’t you grow up? Why don’t you figure out that the world doesn’t revolve around her?” Picoult 201.
In line with the conflict above, Sara tries to apply problem solving
resolution. This resolution involves expressing feeling and clarifying misunderstanding Blake and Mouton in Noller and Fitzpatrick 106. Sara follows
her son to his bedroom and explains her reason of canceling their plan. Moreover, she asks her son’s forgiveness if her action makes him disappointed. She says,
“I’d like to talk to you. I’d like to apologize” Picoult 202. The conflict also occurs when Jesse feels left out. Getting lack of attention
from his parents, especially his mother, causes him do some actions to get their attention although the actions are dangerous for himself. Jesse stands under the
traffic light where taxi is honking and a car is swerving off and the cop is running to keep him from getting killed. In his mind, Jesse only wants to get a place where
he would be noticed Picoult 298. This shows us how he feels left out in his family so he acts illogically in order to get more attention.
However, his parents feel sorry about the inequality and give some gifts in order not to make him feel left out. In this case, Sara gives some gifts in
conjunction with Kate’s relapses to convince that she stays to love and to give
attention Picoult 294-295. It is clearly stated that Sara applies pushing aggression to prevent the conflict.
The other conflict which is caused by his envious feeling happens after his school principal expels Jesse for three weeks because he has stolen some metal
sodium and exploded the school’s septic tank. Jesse says to her mother that he cannot feel what is like being a kid whose sister is dying of cancer. At the same
time, Sara looks at a bruise on his arm. She accuses the bruise is caused by a needle of heroin. This makes Jesse angry and tells that it is not her business. He
wonders why her mother does not realize that it is caused by taking out of his blood for keeping Kate alive in platelets Picoult 320-321. In this conflict, Sara
applies solving resolution by asking for her son’s explanation. Meanwhile, Jesse applies avoidance. He keeps away from his mother’s further question. He leaves
his mother before she asks him to give more explanation Picoult 321. In conclusion, Sara uses problem solving and competition or pushing
aggression to solve their conflicts. Giving a gift in order to avoid Jesse’s envious feeling is a form of her aggression. Sara still puts her concern on Kate over her
relationship with Jesse. It seems that she uses a gift as a means to make him not feeling left out. Sara also uses solving resolution. It can be seen from her effort to
talk about the misunderstanding and the way she says sorry to Jesse. On the contrary, Jesse applies avoidance. He avoids giving more explanations about his
action in exploding the septic tank and about his bruises.
C. The Meanings of Love to Her Dying Daughter for Sara
Since love is really important in this world, no one can live without love and affection from others. According to Fromm 18, “love is an activity, not a
passive affect: it is standing in, not a falling for.” For him, love means primarily caring and giving the best to the beloved one. Moreover, Pieper 19-21 defines
love signifies one’s approval that it is good you exist in this world. It also deals with the expression of will in which loving means a mode of willing to do action
on the basis of motives and inspires. Marcel adds “To love a person means to say: You will not die. This is the partisanship for the existence of the beloved” qtd. in
Pieper 23. In motherly love, the term of approval refers to one of aspect affirmation in child’s life that instills him the feeling of good to be living Fromm
41-43. Since motherly love is an active concern for the life and the growth of her child, a mother will struggle and sacrifice her life for her child’s happiness. Sara
will not let her beloved daughter dies. For Sara, love can mean sacrifice, care and responsibility, struggle, and support. The analysis is described as follows:
1. Sacrifice
Related to Fromm’s theory, motherly love is unconditional affirmations of child’s life and needs which involves caring and responsibility for the preservation
of child’s life and growth. The mother will give everything and expect nothing from the child Fromm 41-43. It is a mode of willing. To show Sara’s love to her
dying daughter, she is also willing to sacrifice. For her, love means sacrifice. She does everything for Kate’s health and is willing to sacrifice herself without
expecting anything in return except Kate’s health.
