C. The Meanings of Love to Her Dying Daughter for Sara
Since love is really important in this world, no one can live without love and affection from others. According to Fromm 18, “love is an activity, not a
passive affect: it is standing in, not a falling for.” For him, love means primarily caring and giving the best to the beloved one. Moreover, Pieper 19-21 defines
love signifies one’s approval that it is good you exist in this world. It also deals with the expression of will in which loving means a mode of willing to do action
on the basis of motives and inspires. Marcel adds “To love a person means to say: You will not die. This is the partisanship for the existence of the beloved” qtd. in
Pieper 23. In motherly love, the term of approval refers to one of aspect affirmation in child’s life that instills him the feeling of good to be living Fromm
41-43. Since motherly love is an active concern for the life and the growth of her child, a mother will struggle and sacrifice her life for her child’s happiness. Sara
will not let her beloved daughter dies. For Sara, love can mean sacrifice, care and responsibility, struggle, and support. The analysis is described as follows:
1. Sacrifice
Related to Fromm’s theory, motherly love is unconditional affirmations of child’s life and needs which involves caring and responsibility for the preservation
of child’s life and growth. The mother will give everything and expect nothing from the child Fromm 41-43. It is a mode of willing. To show Sara’s love to her
dying daughter, she is also willing to sacrifice. For her, love means sacrifice. She does everything for Kate’s health and is willing to sacrifice herself without
expecting anything in return except Kate’s health.
In the novel, Sara’s sacrifices are portrayed in three ways. First, she spends much of her time on becoming Kate’s keeper. Second, Sara is willing to sacrifice
her own life on behalf of Kate’s health. In this case, she wants to be the one who replaces Kate’s pain. Third, Sara sacrifices her feeling. Because of those, Sara can
not avoid the conflicts with her other children. The more she gives her attention to Kate, the more troublesome life she experiences. It is so because the way she
thinks and concerns on Kate’s health may be different from her children’s perspective. In this case, sacrificing her feeling refers to the consequences she gets
from Anna and Jesse’s rebellion. While Anna and Jesse feel envious for Sara’s love to Kate and think that she does not love them at all, they lead themselves in
friction with her mother. Undoubtedly, Sara feels hurtful in encountering their rebellion. The further description on how love means sacrifice is explained as
bellows: First of all, Sara’s sacrifices refer to her willingness to give much of her
time for Kate. According to Davieslove in his article Time: The Best Expression of Love, the essence of love lays on how much one gives herself. Thus, love is giving
up, yielding one preference, comfort, goal, security, money, energy or time for the benefit of the loved one. He also adds that the most desired gift of love is attention
in which the lover focuses on the loved one by sacrificing her precious time. http:gleez.comarticlesrelationshiplove-harmonytime-the-best-expression-of-
love. In line with this case, Sara gives up her time to keep an alert for Kate’s health and ignores her own life and needs. She has little time to pay attention on
herself and to enjoy her life because her calendar changes whenever Kate shows
the symptom of relapse. It can be seen from Anna’s words. She tells what a beautiful girl she is if she were another woman. But the fact that a sorrowful look
of her face makes her not as beautiful as she is. She does not have much free time. Her calendar can change drastically if Kate gets a bruise or a nosebleed
Picoult11. On one occasion, Sara stays in the hospital for two weeks to accompany
and to take care of her dying daughter. After nurses promise to take charge of Kate’s health and convince her to take a day off, Sara goes home. In this case Sara
sacrifices her time to live in her house with other member of her family. The front door opens and slams shut. Anna comes racing into the kitchen
and stops abruptly at the sight of me. “What are you doing here?” “I live here,” I say
Zanne clears her throat. “Contrary to appearance” Picoult321-322. Besides giving up her precious time, Sara also sacrifices her own life. In
this part, her love toward Kate can be categorized as Agape. Agape is love of God for a man that signifies a selfless love for one person without expectation in
return. To respond God’s love, human being loves each other which can involve a sacrifice by the individual for the sake of other Warga 315-316. Since a
mother’s love is unselfishness, giving everything and wanting nothing in return Fromm 43, it can be stated that mother love reveals God’s love toward human
being. Rob in his article A Mother’s love says that a mother love reveals God’s love toward human that their love is unconditional and involves nurturing,
protecting, comforting, and providing. It is love which desires only the best for the childhttp:blogs.myspace.comindex.cfm?fuseaction=blog.viewfriendld=41024
2242blogld=463765343. Because Sara’s love is unselfishness, it fulfills the
love of God toward human. Sara expresses her motherly love by the willingness to sacrifice herself.
Once, Sara’s self-sacrifice is portrayed when she is willing to shave her hair. Due to the fact that Kate’s head becomes bald, she avoids herself from
public. As Sara loves her daughter very much, she wants to alleviate Kate’s despair by offering her to go to the mall so that Kate feels better. In fact, Kate
refuses because she thinks people there will insult her appearance. To please her daughter, Sara shaves her hair so that they have the same hair cut. She goes to the
basement and cuts swath right down the middle of her scalp. She lets Kate herself shave the other side of her head Picoult 289. To make Kate feel comfortable
with her head, Sara is willing to shave her hair so that people will not stare at Kate at all and insult her freakishness. This action does show her self-sacrifice.
Furthermore, her self-sacrifice can be seen through her willingness to give part of her body for the sake of Kate’s safety. She will work out and do everything
to supply Kate’s needs although she has to give her own life. This proof can be seen in the conversation with her husband when they are arguing Sara’s decision
to take Anna in donating lymphocyte for Kate. No matter the risk for her own life is, Sara wants to give her blood and even half of her heart if it works in Kate’s
body. . . .I wait until he looks at me. “Would you give blood for Kate?”
“Jesus, Sara, what kind of question –“ “I would, too. I’d give her half of my heart, for God’s sake, if it helped.
You do whatever you have to, when it comes to people you love, right?” Brian ducks his head, nods. “What makes you think that Anna would feel
any different?” Picoult, 204-205.
Another proof that shows how Sara is willing to give her own life for Kate is also shown by her praying. She prays and begs to be the person who replaces
her daughter’s pain. In her mind she says that she wants to alternate her daughter’s illness. “I have prayed and begged and wanted to be the one who’s sick in lieu of
her, some devil’s Faustain bargain, but that is not the way it’s happened” Picoult 380. Fromm 42-43 points out “a motherly love requires unselfishness, the
ability to give everything and to want nothing but the happiness of the loved one.” In this case, Sara is giving up her own life for the sake of Kate’s health and
happiness. Next, Sara also offers herself to donate one of her kidney if it is possible
for Kate to accept. At that time, Kate needs kidney transplant and Sara has offered Dr. Chance to take her kidney for the transplant. Because Kate’s body will reject
an organ from a general donor, Dr. Chance only recommends that it should come from Anna Picoult 447. Although the doctor tells that she can not be Kate’s
donor, Sara’s offer proves that she is willing to sacrifice hers if it works on Kate’s body.
Based on Fromm 42-43, motherly love requires love of mother for the growth of the child in which a mother fulfills her child’s needs without an
exchange of receiving but her child’s happiness. So does Sara, the state of motherly love involves sacrifice for her child’s growth and happiness. She prefers
to give her child more than she has gotten. Her sacrifice is described in her words when she convinces Anna in the courtroom that love between mother and child is
about unfairness in which a mother is willing to sacrifice herself and wants her child to get more than she has.
“ … But being a mother is completely different. You want your child to have more than you ever did. You want to build a fire underneath her and
watch her soar. It’s bigger than words”. I touch my chest. “And it still all manages to fit very neatly inside here” Picoult 477.
Moreover, how Sara considers love as a form of sacrifice refers to her perspective that it is an action to give the best for the helpless child. Thus,
sacrifice needs an effort. Sara will do everything to save her dying daughter in spite of the fact that she is going to endanger either her own life or her other
children. She comments on Alexander who has stated that no one is obligated to go into a fire and save someone else from a burning building. For Sara, that
perspective does not work if it is conducted with the relationship between parents and her children.
I take a deep breath. “In my lie, though, that building was on fire, on of my children was in it – and the only opportunity to save her was to send in my
other child, because she was the only one who knew the way. Did I know I was taking a risk? Of course. Did I realize it meant maybe loosing both of
them? Yes. Did I understand that maybe it wasn’t fair to asks her to do it? Absolutely. But I also knew that it was the only chance I had to keep both
of them. Was it legal? Was it normal? Was it crazy or foolish or cruel? I don’t know. But I do know it was right” Picoult, 479.
Besides sacrificing her precious time and her life, Sara also sacrifices her feeling. In mother-children relationship, the different perspectives which lead
them to the conflict are commonly happened. In line with this case, Sara’s perspective on proving her love by sacrificing her time and her own life toward
Kate leads to the conflict with other children, especially with Anna. She feels envious and doubtful of her mother’s love. The more Sara gives attention and
sacrifice to Kate, the more she gets rebellion from her other children. Referring to this case, it cannot be denied that her children’s rebellion hurts her heart.
On one occasion, Sara feels hurt because she gets a petition from her healthy daughter, Anna. In her effort to keep Kate alive causes her encountering a
misery situation that she is sued by her other daughter. Getting charge from her own daughter, Sara feels hurt. What Anna has done is unbelievable for Sara
Picoult 67. Further, she tells that all things happen in her family hurt her inside feeling. She says, “Anna, you know we never did any of these things to hurt you.
It hurts all of us. If you got the bruises on the outside, then we got them on the inside” Picoult 355. It proves that Sara’s love to give the best for her helpless
daughter has encountered the sorrowfulness because another daughter files a suit to her. Thus, she sacrifices her feeling for what she has done to prolong Kate’s
life. After getting a petition for medical emancipation, Sara decides to be an
attorney again and represents herself in the trial. Deep in her heart, Sara feels hurt and does not want to fight against her own daughter. However, in order to save
Kate, Sara hardly fights against Anna in the trial. This proves how she sacrifices her feeling. She is painful when she encounters such situation.
The clerk turns to Sara Fitzgerald. “Who’s representing your party?” Anna’s mother is stricken for a moment. She turns to her husband. “It’s
like riding a bicycle,” she says quietly. Her husband shakes his head. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I don’t want to do this. I have to do this” Picoult 98.
Actually, the sacrifices of Sara’s feeling are not only caused by other children’s rebellion. In this case, Sara also sacrifices her feeling when Kate is
angry with her because she conceals Taylor’s death, Kate’s boyfriend. To avoid Kate’s condition from getting worse, Sara chooses not to tell about Taylor’s death.
She is afraid if it breaks her spirit to fight her illness. Consequently, Kate becomes very angry that she accuses Sara as a liar and does not want to talk to her for a
week Picoult 385-386. Kate’s anger by accusing and ignoring her for a week indirectly shows us how great Sara feels sad and hurt. It means that she sacrifices
her feeling again.
2. Care and Responsibility
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