Identity Diffusion Frank’s Identity Crisis : The Failure in Handling the Problems in the

38 identity in the aspect of gender. Those with identity confusion are likely to be having a sense of indecisiveness. Frank’s indecisiveness is about her gender confusion. Those who are having gender confusion are feeling discontent about their own gender. In short, they identify their gender differently from what they are assigned at birth. This is the condition of what Frank suffers from, she fails to grasp and identify her own gender because of her identity diffusion. Frank is deceived by her father throughout her entire life. She is being fooled by her own father who also secretly mixes male hormones into Frank’s foods. This is one part of identity crisis which deal with the issue of gender and this gender confusion is what Frank suffers as a consequence of her identity diffusion. Frank identifies her gender identity as a boy. She never truly grasps the truth that she is a girl. That condition is derived from her childhood tragedy where she believes that she loses her penis during that tragedy. Throughout her life, she is confused about her own gender identity. I hate having to sit down in the toilet all the time. With my unfortunate disability I usually have to, as though I was a bloody woman, but I hate it . Sometimes in the Cauldhame Arms I stand up at the urinal, but most of it ends up running down my hands or legs. Banks, 1987: 8 It can be seen from the line “..with my unfortunate disability I usually have to, as though I was a bloody woman, but I hate it..” indicates that she hates her condition, she believes that she is suffering from a disability and she tries to act like a boy. She 39 is unable to make a proper understanding about her own identity. Frank is an exiled girl who rarely interacts with other people in her society. That is why this strange condition is hardly ever exposed and Frank never finds out about the truth. Frank is not satisfied about the condition she has. Because of her gender confusion, she always wants to look more masculine. She is confused, whether she is truly a boy or a girl, she cannot make a decision about her own gender identity and as a result she is blinded by the sense of false masculinity. She always resents the fact that she loses her symbol of gender and she never finds out that the symbol is not lost; it has never been there in the first place. I’m too fat. It isn’t that bad, and it isn’t my fault – but, all the same, I don’t look the way I’d like to look. Chubby, that’s me. Strong and fit, but still too plump.I want to look dark and menacing; the way I ought to look, the way I should look, the way I might have looked if I hadn’t my little accident. Banks, 1987: 12 The lines “..I want to look dark and menacing; the way I ought to look, the way I should look, they way I might have looked if I hadn’t my little accident..” signifies that she wants to be more intimidating. It is because Frank believes that she is a boy with unfortunate condition where she lost her genital as her gender identity. That is why Frank wants to be more masculine, because she believes that she is a boy. It occurred to me then, as it has before, that is what men are really for. Both sexes can do one thing specially well; women can give birth and men can kill. We – I consider myself an honorary man – are the harder sex . We strike out, push through, thrust and take. The fact that it is only an analogue 40 of all this sexual terminology I am capable of does not discourage me. I can feel it in my bones, in my uncastrated genes. Banks, 1987: 91 The feeling of false masculinity goes on as Frank has not yet realized her true gender identity. The line “..We – I consider myself an honorary man – are the harder sex..” signifies that Frank identifies herself as a proud man, she never get the true idea because of the falseness she encounters throughout her life. She barely knows that the answer is always there in her own body, she is blinded by the false identity her father brought up to her. Frank’s identity confusion is portrayed in her confusion about her own gender identity. It is her own indecisiveness that complicates her life as a teenager. c. Excessive Self-Awareness Excessive self-awareness is the feeling of inferiority that is suffered by an adolescent with identity crisis. A teenager with excessive self-awareness usually compares himself with another person. Not in a sense of comparing in competitive manner, the adolescent usually thinks that he is not the same as others. The adolescent is likely to see what is missing from him, what he does not have and what others have. As a result, the adolescent will see himself as more inferior than others and will be likely to exclude himself from other people. This is what Frank suffers from, or the other part of Frank’s identity diffusion. She excludes herself from her 41 own society; she feels different and thinks that she is a teenager with a cursed disability. Not that I know all that many people anyway, I suppose; Jamie is my only read friend, though through him I have met a few people of about my own age I regard as acquaintance. Not going to school, and having to pretend I didn’t live on the island all the time, has meant that I didn’t grow up with anybody of my own age expect Eric, of course, but even he was away for a long time, and about the time I was thinking of venturing further afield and getting to know more people Eric went crazy, and things got a bit uncomfortable in the town for a while. Banks, 1978: 35 The line “..Not that I know all that many people anyway, I suppose; Jamie is my only real friend,..” shows that Frank is a teenager without comrades. In reality, a teenager in hisher adolescence period is supposed to have persons they call friends. As for Frank, her only friend is a dwarf named Jamie. The reason why Frank only considers Jamie as her only friend is likely because Jamie is a dwarf, a person with a disability. She feels a sort of comfort because she thinks that Jamie shares the same trait as her. That is because Frank has a sense of excessive self-awareness, she is either afraid or unwillingly to live up a healthy social life as a teenager should. Frank groups herself as a person with a disability and refuses to interact with other people. Although Frank has a brother around the same age named Eric, her brother is locked up in asylum. As a result, Frank is unable to express or explore her adolescence time. Frank also refuses to go to school and she feels fine about that. 42 This is also likely because of her excessive self-awareness. She excludes herself and denies her social life. It can be seen from findings above that Frank’s identity diffusion is followed by various problems. Those problems are the ones that Frank encounters as she fails to overcome the stage of identity vs. identity diffusion. This is the part of where Frank’s identity crisis originated from. Frank is unable to conquer the conflict and crisis in her adolescence stage, the failure can be seen from her acute upset, gender confusion and excessive self-awareness. To gain a healthy mind, a certain individual must be able to successfully handle the crisis in each stages of life. If the individual fails to handle the crisis in certain stage, the crisis will definitely emerge again in the later stage of life until it is resolved. As Frank fails to overcome the crisis in her adolescence stage, the crisis continues to emerge in her later stage of life.

2. Identity Foreclosure

Erikson 1968: 159 states that a proper identification depends on the satisfactory interaction with trustworthy representatives, as in living together in some form of family. Identity foreclosure is a condition where a certain adolescent adopts some roles that are given by other authoritative figures, such as parents or teachers. Those who are having this identity foreclosure are indicated by a the excessive involvement of parents and b fluidity of defenses. The researcher finds out there are two aspects that indicate Frank’s identity foreclosure, which can be seen below. 43 a. Excessive involvement of parents Family is the most important point in the development of a certain person’s morality, background, origin and the behaviors of the family members will determine what kind of person will be. It is the job of the parents to become the guidance for their children. As stated by Erikson 1968: 121 a form of basic family is needed so that the children can look for a new identification which seems to promise a field of initiative with less of the conflict and guilt. As in Frank’s case, her family is messed up, she only lives with her father. Instead of giving a proper chance for Frank to explore her youth, her father is blocking Frank’s way in obtaining a proper sense of identity. I was never registered. I have no birth certificate, no National Insurance number, nothing to say I’m alive or have ever existed. I know this is a crime, and so does my father, and I think that sometimes he regrets the decision he made seventeen years ago, in his hippy-anarchist days, or whatever they were. Banks, 1987: 6 Frank is a person whose existence is being questioned. The lines “..I know this is a crime, and so does my father, and I think that sometimes he regrets the decision he made seventeen years ago,..” signify that Frank’s identity is being controlled by her father. She does not exists in her society, the people who live around her only know that she is there, living with a man named Angus, but they never really know the real identity of Frank. The police in the town also have no clue that a girl named Frank exist, she is not registered and her father never acknowledges 44 her to be his own daughter. Frank also considers that this is not the right thing to do, as she is always told by her father to keep silent about her identity. Frank’s father not only covers up Frank’s existence and identity. There is also an unspoken agreement regarding her existence which is never mentioned in the household where Frank lives in. The unspoken agreement is to remain silent about her existence. As far as I can tell, we have some sort of unspoken agreement that I keep quiet about not officially existing in return for being able to do more or less as I like on the island and buy more or less what I like in the town. The only thing we had argued about recently was the motorbike, which he said he would buy me when I was a bit older. I think he just wants to keep putting it off; he might be frightened of me gaining too much independence, or he might simple be scared that I’ll kill myself the way a lot of youths seem to when they get a bike. Banks, 1987: 35 Frank has never been able to understand and show her own existence to the society and her surroundings. This condition is originated from the excessive involvement of the parents, her dad. The lines”..we have some sort of unspoken agreement that I keep quiet about not officially existing in return for being able to do more or less as I like on the island..” show that Frank can do anything she wants as long as she keeps low and denies her existence from the society. Frank understands that her independence is limited; her line of individuality is being strictly controlled by her father. So as an adolescent, Frank is being cornered by the excessive involvement of her father and as a result she accepts the selfishness of her father. 45 Although in a sense, Frank realizes that her sense of individuality is controlled by her father. b. Fluidity of defenses Fluidity of defenses is the other negativity that is coming from Frank’s identity foreclosure. As a human being, it is important to understand and secure the feeling of safety. In some cases, especially for teenagers, they are likely to commit some misbehaviors or even crimes and justify them as a kind of self defense. The probability is higher when a teenager or an adolescent is suffering from some sort of crisis. As in Frank’s case, because of the excessive involvement of her father, she has a different understanding about what is defense in the normal point of view. It can be seen below. Not that I want to kill anybody now, but it is all for defence rather than offence, and it does make me feel a lot more secure . Soon I’ll have enough money for a really powerful crossbow, and that I’m certainly looking forward to; it’ll help make up for the fact that I’ve never been able to persuade my father to buy a rifle or a shotgun that I could use sometimes. Banks, 1987: 40 Frank is somewhat used to have an urge of killing somebody. The lines “..Not that I want to kill anybody now, but it is all for defence rather offence, and it does make me feel a lot more secure..” signify that her point of view in self-defense is to erase or kill those who are threatening her. This is the point where her fluidity of defenses comes up. For Frank, by owning a weapon such as rifle or shotgun, it will 46 give her a lot more secure feeling. This also can be seen from the perspective of identity foreclosure. Because she is being strictly controlled by her father, she also wants some sort of authoritative power. Erikson 1984: 78 states that the children want to be like hisher parents, who to himher appear very powerful and very beautiful and quite unreasonably dangerous. The child “identifies with them”, heshe plays with the idea of how it would be to be them. In this case, Frank’s father is not a good role model. That is why Frank is suffering from the fluidity of defenses.

3. Negative Identity

Negative identity is the result of failing to handle the crisis in adolescence stage or the failure to develop a strong sense of identity. Those who are confused about their identity are likely ended up in having a negative identity. Erikson 1968: 172 states that negative identity is the loss of a sense in identity and often expressed in a scornful and snobbish hostility toward the appropriate roles of identity. Those who are having negative identity are likely to be negative in their manner of life. As they are suffering from the identity confusion, they will face a difficulty in defining choices about the future and are likely to commit crimes. Their behaviors are also can be considered as more aggressive and hostile toward those who seem to threaten their search of identity. In the previous finding, it can be seen that Frank is suffering from gender confusion. The point is that Frank fails to acquire her own gender identity and she