Lillian’s Characteristics as Seen from Her Relationship with Men

Based on the quotation above, having sexual interests toward men and women has become one of women’s freedom. Women who have courage to consider themselves as bisexual are no longer submissive towards old customs. In Ladders to Fire, Lillian builds relationship with several men who are Gerard, Larry, and Jay yet it can not satisfy her hunger for such love and affection. She falls in love with them yet she will feel empty in her relationships, therefore she also adventures her sexual life with women named Djuna, Helen, and Sabina. In her courtship with Djuna, Lillian feels a complete affection from Djuna. Djuna plays important role in Lillian’s life because Lillian’s desire and needs are fulfilled through Djuna’s affection. But it was Lillian who was drowning, and it was Djuna who was able always at the last moment to save her, and in her moment of danger, Lillian knew only one thing: that she must possess Djuna. It was as if someone had proclaimed: I need oxygen, and therefore I will lock some oxygen in my room and live on it. So Lillian began her courtship 1995: 41-42. The quotation above concludes that Lillian wants Djuna to be her lover. Lillian feels equal power in her relationship with Djuna because they encourage each other. It is shown in the following quotation: They exchanged jewels, clothes, books, they protected each other, they expressed concern, jealously, possessiveness. They talked. The relationship was the central, essential personage of this dream without pain 1995: 21. Later, when Lillian finds out that Jay has an affair with a woman named Helen, she is also attracted with Helen. Lillian’s attraction toward Hellen is not an attraction of friendship or sisterhood, but a sexual attraction. She gave Hellen such faith as lovers give. She gave to the friendship an atmosphere of courtship which accomplished the same miracle as love. On a magnificent day of sun and warmth Lillian said to her: “If I were a man, I would make love to you.” 1995: 83-84. Lillian then ends her relationship with Helen since she starts to feel like a hostage and it traps her. She meets and falls in love again with a woman named Sabina, one of Jay’s affairs. Lillian admires Sabina’s body and feels her passion and her soul in Sabina’s. It is shown in the quotations below: Lillian wanted to reach out to her, into these violet shadows. She saw that Sabina wanted to be she as much as she wanted to be Sabina. They both wanted to exchange bodies, exchange faces. There was in both of them the dark strain of wanting to become the other, to deny what they were, to trascend their ac tual selves. Sabina desiring Lillian’s newness, and Lillian desiring Sabina’s deeply marked body 1995: 145. Lillian saw her for the first time the woman she had always wanted to know. She saw Sabina’s eyes burning, heard her voice so rusty, and immediately felt drowned in her beauty. She wanted to say: I recognize you. I have often imagined a woman like you 1995: 125 Furthermore, Lillian is also presented as an attractive woman. Attractive characteritsic as defined by Huffman is having the physical properties – size, shape, facial characteristics, and manner of dress – will attract other people’s preference toward someone 2000: 594. Lillian owns those criterias which make her attractive and can impress not only men but also women. Djuna, as a woman, is also attracted to Lillian for her beauty and sensual appearance. Djuna feels amazed by Lillian’s beauty and admires it. She always compliments the way Lillian behaves. As one of Djuna’s admiration toward Lillian is noted in the following description: she looked like a white negrees, a body made for rolling in natural undulations of pleasure and desire. Her vivid face, her avid mouth, her provocative, teasing glances proclaimed sensuality 1995: 44. Another admiration toward Lillian comes from Sabina. Sabina admires Lillian’s soul and beauty. Lillian’s attraction drew Sabina’s attention for Lillian has nice and pleasant appearance. Hence, when both Lillian and Sabina finally build the relationship in between, Sabina feels deeper admiration towards Lillian. Sabina looked at the whiteness of Lillian’s body as into a mirror and saw herself as a girl, standing at the beginning of her life unblurred, unmarked. “How soft you are, how soft you are,” said Sabina 1995: 146.

2. Djuna

Another main character in Ladders to Fire is Djuna. Djuna is described as an androgynous woman. Androgynous has been defined as a blance personality of having feminine and masculine chracteristics. Many feminist philosophers claim that androgynous personalities are holistic and have a capacity to experience the full range of human emotions Humm, 1995: 10. In the novel, Djuna is delineated having masculine and feminine characteristics within herself. Her masculinity is shown through her independence and self-governed characteristics. She is also courageous to pursue her own nature and desire with no obstacle from her surroundings. Her bad childhood memories of being abandoned by her father and being put into an orphan assylum have created independent characteristic to depend on no one but herself. She does not want to be limited to pursue her desire, therefore she avoids maternal and marriage life. On the other side, Djuna owns the quality of feminine characteristic which is shown through her generousity toward her surroundings, as ones of them are Lillian and Jay who always feel comfortable to talk and share their problem with Djuna. Djuna can always shelter people in any condition. Besides, the author presents Djuna as a lesbian. Djuna has no interest to establish a relationship with man. She chooses being lesbian as her sexual preference because she argues that men will not give women any opportunity to prove their strength. Therefore when Djuna meets Lillian whose equal power with her, Djuna is attracted to Lillian. Djuna and Lillian’s relationship is a relationship between two women whom both enjoy presenting devotion and affection. Her lesbian side is also shown through her action of denying Jay’s love. Djuna’s hunger of love can only be fulfilled by the love of women.

a. Djuna’s Characteristics as Seen from Her Relationship with Men

Djuna has the quality of independent woman. Independence means a freedom from outside control and someone who is considered as independent has hisher own self-governing. In her life, Djuna dreams of a society being free from male domination. She hasan irresponsible father who abandons her into an orphan assylum. Having irresponsible father has built independent characteristic within herself as described in the following description: Whatever was missing she became: she became mother, father, cousin, brother, friend, confidant, guide, companion to all. This power of absorption, this sponge of receptivity which might have fed itself forever to fill the early want 1995: 40. Influenced by her independent characteristic, Djuna has never been attached to someone in a courtship as she grows up. She does not believe in what being called as natural