the problem in attitude. The problem in attitude includes four things, namely being superstitious, boasting habit, the conflicting response on marriage’s
different perception, and the conflicting response on mother figure’s different perception.
1. The Problem in Communication
The first problem of cultural conflict here is in communication. Communication has important role in a relationship. Without good
communication, the relationship will not work well. If one person tries to talk with his or her will without considering other people’s ability to understand, there
will be miscommunication. Communication cannot be “pushed” to someone. We cannot expect that other people can understand our language or understand what
we want without understanding what we talk about or share. In this context, the daughters, who live in America and use English,
sometimes are confused with their moms’ language and their moms’ wants. Chinese mothers usually cannot speak English fluently and very often use Chinese
language at home or wherever they are. Problems are still raised as seen in these two novels. Problems in communication occur between mothers and daughters
and also between mothers and other people community. Problems of communication can be raised because of some differences such as different
languages, different backgrounds, different ways of thinking, different characters, different perceptions, which caused by different cultures. The other reasons are
because no one who has the initiative to yield, or to try to understand.
In The Bonesetter’s Daughter, LuLing is so different from her daughter, Ruth, in terms of their educational backgrounds, ways of thinking, characters,
perceptions, and ages. She tends to speak Chinese with her daughter wherever they are. The problem is Ruth speaks English fluently while her mother doesn’t.
Ruth then becomes the “interpreter” and “translator” for her mom. LuLing likes to speak Chinese in front of other people whether it is to ask or to talk about bad
things of the persons they are with. Ruth remembered how she felt when she was their age. She too has
resented LuLing’s speaking Chinese in front of others, knowing they couldn’t understand her covert remarks. “Look how fat that lady is,”
LuLing might say. Or, “Luyi, go ask that man to give us better price.” If Ruth obeyed, she was mortified. And if she didn’t, as she now recalled,
even more dire consequences followed. TBD 76 People should not talk about someone else behind his or her back and the
polite way to talk is by using the language everybody knows. Although LuLing cannot speak well, she can speak English a little. She is able to speak English
because she has lived in San Francisco for some time and her ex-husband is originally from America. What LuLing does as stated above “disturbs” Ruth. She
does not feel comfortable with her mother’s ways of saying things or expressing herself. Ruth also feels angry and uncomfortable with her when she speaks
Chinese in front of her American friends. Ruth feels that her mom just wants to embarrass her by doing that kind of thing.
But then a familiar voice, loud and shrill, rang across the playground: “No Luyi, stop What are you doing? You want to break your body in half?”
Ruth stood at the top of the slide, frozen with shame. Her mother was the busybody watcher of kindergartens, whereas Ruth was in the first grade
Some of other first-graders were laughing down below. “Is that your mother?” they shouted. “What’s that gobbled-gook-gook she’s saying?”
TJLC 77
Because of this problem, they do not have good relationship. Ruth and LuLing have different ways of communicating that makes it difficult for them to
say what they really want to. They do not realize that this communication problem actually becomes the basic problem and it raises more problems. Ruth remembers
that when she was eight years old, she told LuLing what the right way to say something and LuLing became so angry.
“It’s ‘grapefruit,” eight-years-old Ruth once said, exasperated, “not ‘grapefoot.’ It’s a fruit, not a foot.”
That night, LuLing started teaching her the mechanics in writing Chinese. Ruth knew this was punishment for what she had earlier. TBD 57
The punishment and the reaction her mother does when she tries to teach
English to her mother correctly makes Ruth aware if she should talk with her mother. Ruth and LuLing have difficulty in communication one to another.
Ruth wanted to know right away, but she could not ask her mother. She knew from experience what happened whenever she asked her mother to
render Chinese characters into English. First, LuLing scolded her for not studying Chinese hard enough when she was little. And then, to untangle
each character, her mother took side routes to her past, going into excruciating detail over the infinite meanings of Chinese words: “Secrets
not just mean cannot say. Can be hurt-you kinda secret, or curse-you kind, maybe do you damage forever, never can change after that…” And then
came rumbling about who told the secret, without saying what the secret itself was, followed by more rambling about the person had died horribly,
why this had happened, how it could have been avoided, if only such and such had not occurred thousand years before. TBD 14
Ruth is not fluent in Chinese and LuLing is not fluent in English. This
difference makes them cannot understand each other. Ruth even thinks that her mother’s lack of ability in English is one of the causes of the problem between
them as stated in The Bonesetter’s Daughter, “But the way Ruth saw it, LuLing
got into fight mainly because of her poor English. She didn’t understand others, or they didn’t understand her” TBD 49.
In The Joy Luck Club, Lindo and Ying-ying seem to be very proud of their Chinese culture. Lindo likes to commend the Chinese culture and criticize the
American culture as stated in The Joy Luck Club, “Chinese people do many things,” she said simply. “Chinese people do business, do medicine, and do
painting. Not lazy like American people. We do torture. Best torture” TJLC 92. Besides, Ying-ying always talks in Chinese to everyone, even to her husband
Clifford who is not a Chinese English-Irish TJLC 112-117. What Clifford does just guesses what his wife does or asks Lena their daughter what her Mom
does or says. It is strange and seems funny but it really happens in this novel. I could not tell my father what she had said. He was so sad already with
this empty crib in his mind. How could I tell him she was crazy? So this is what I translated for him: “She says we must all think very hard
about having another baby. She says she hopes this baby is very happy on the other side. And she thinks we should leave now and go have dinner.”
TJLC 117 This is one example how Lena used to translate what her mother said to
her father. Lena’s Chinese language learning helps the communication between Ying-ying and Clifford TJLC 112. June, Suyuan’s daughter admits that she does
not know her mother very well because of language problem. As stated in The Joy Luck Club, “My mother and I never really understood one another. We translated
each other’s meaning and I seemed to hear less than what was said, while my mother heard more” TJLC 27.
Ruth, Waverly, Lena, and June cannot understand what their mothers want. They feel something is quite wrong and are fed up with their mothers. They
cannot find the right way to speak with their mothers and it makes them feel there is no use talking with their mothers. If they force themselves to talk, they could
“fight” and cannot end this problem. Besides, they are not open to each other. The mothers still keep some parts of their past because of shame. If there is a problem,
the daughters do not talk or say that this communication problem “disturbs” their relationship. Thus, this problem makes them farther from their mothers. Each of
them keeps their personal problem in their heart and mind and chooses not to talk with the others. This keeps them in silence, which makes them unable to
understand each other. How they could understand each other if there is no good communication. The mistakes from the past are the fruit that people cannot run
away from and they can be something meaningful if they are used as a learning process. They can be an example for the children so that they will not be repeated
in the future. Good communication will take place if one side tries to be humble, patient
and yield with the other side. There must be one side to have the initiative to try to understand and not ask to be understood. The most important thing is they should
accept the differences.
2. The Problems in Attitude
