publikasi e-humor
HUMOR
2005
Publikasi Humor
Humor merupakan publikasi elektronik yang diterbitkan secara berkala oleh
Yayasan Lembaga SABDA dan menyajikan humor-humor segar yang jauh dari unsur SARA dan
pornografi lengkap dengan ayat-ayat pendukung dari setiap humor
Bundel Tahunan Publikasi Elektronik Humor
http://sabda.org/publikasi/kados
Diterbitkan oleh Yayasan Lembaga SABDA
http://www.ylsa.org
© 2005 Yayasan Lembaga SABDA
HUMOR 2005
Daftar Isi
Daftar Isi ...................................................................................................................... 2
e-humor 937/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 12
2 : 2 = 1 .................................................................................................................................................. 12
e-humor 938/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 13
Adopsi? .................................................................................................................................................. 13
e-humor 939/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 14
Pria Idaman ........................................................................................................................................... 14
e-humor 940/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 15
Gigit Kuku .............................................................................................................................................. 15
e-humor 941/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 16
Salah Masuk ......................................................................................................................................... 16
e-humor 942/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 17
Kejutan Ulangtahunku ......................................................................................................................... 17
e-humor 943/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 18
Lurus Jalan Terus! ............................................................................................................................... 18
e-humor 944/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 19
Juan Dan Amal ..................................................................................................................................... 19
e-humor 945/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 20
Digigit Semut ......................................................................................................................................... 20
e-humor 946/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 21
Dua Jalan .............................................................................................................................................. 21
e-humor 947/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 22
Hanya 51 ............................................................................................................................................... 22
e-humor 948/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 23
Interview ................................................................................................................................................ 23
e-humor 949/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 24
Hasil Diagnosa...................................................................................................................................... 24
e-humor 950/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 25
Pengalaman Ayah Dan Anak ............................................................................................................. 25
2
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 951/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 26
Teladan .................................................................................................................................................. 26
e-humor 952/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 27
Johnny Masuk TK................................................................................................................................. 27
e-humor 953/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 28
Lampu Merah, Stop!!! .......................................................................................................................... 28
e-humor 954/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 29
Rebung .................................................................................................................................................. 29
e-humor 955/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 30
Impas !! .................................................................................................................................................. 30
e-humor 956/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 31
Bahasa Roh........................................................................................................................................... 31
e-humor 957/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 32
Mukjizat .................................................................................................................................................. 32
e-humor 958/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 33
Hakim ..................................................................................................................................................... 33
e-humor 959/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 34
Memberi ................................................................................................................................................. 34
e-humor 960/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 35
Pencak Silat .......................................................................................................................................... 35
e-humor 961/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 36
Bertobatlah ............................................................................................................................................ 36
e-humor 962/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 37
Di Telepon Umum ................................................................................................................................ 37
e-humor 963/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 38
Mencari Saudara .................................................................................................................................. 38
e-humor 964/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 39
Klinik ....................................................................................................................................................... 39
e-humor 965/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 40
Sumbangan ........................................................................................................................................... 40
e-humor 966/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 41
3
HUMOR 2005
21 Tahun Ke Atas................................................................................................................................. 41
e-humor 967/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 42
Permohonan.......................................................................................................................................... 42
e-humor 968/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 43
Tambun .................................................................................................................................................. 43
e-humor 969/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 44
Tailor ...................................................................................................................................................... 44
e-humor 970/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 45
Sehati ..................................................................................................................................................... 45
e-humor 971/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 46
Keberatan! ............................................................................................................................................. 46
e-humor 972/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 47
Bola Kasti .............................................................................................................................................. 47
e-humor 973/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 48
Komar Dan Jam .................................................................................................................................... 48
e-humor 974/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 49
Kurang Sedikit ...................................................................................................................................... 49
e-humor 975/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 50
Burung Bangau ..................................................................................................................................... 50
e-humor 976/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 51
Sereal ..................................................................................................................................................... 51
e-humor 977/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 52
Mengapa?.............................................................................................................................................. 52
e-humor 978/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 53
Di Gereja................................................................................................................................................ 53
e-humor 979/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 54
Dompet Dhono ...................................................................................................................................... 54
e-humor 980/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 55
Pengharapan ........................................................................................................................................ 55
e-humor 981/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 56
Telinga Terbakar .................................................................................................................................. 56
4
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 982/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 57
Hadiah Natal Untuk Ibu ....................................................................................................................... 57
e-humor 983/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 58
Ratapan Anak Tiri................................................................................................................................. 58
e-humor 984/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 59
Obat Tidur? ........................................................................................................................................... 59
e-humor 985/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 60
Memo Untuk Semua Pegawai ............................................................................................................ 60
e-humor 986/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 61
Di Apotik ................................................................................................................................................ 61
e-humor 987/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 62
Nomor PIN ............................................................................................................................................. 62
e-humor 988/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 63
Bakar Rokok .......................................................................................................................................... 63
e-humor 989/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 64
Question And Answer .......................................................................................................................... 64
e-humor 990/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 65
Pengumpul Lebah ................................................................................................................................ 65
e-humor 991/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 66
Nasehat Pelatih .................................................................................................................................... 66
e-humor 992/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 67
Cum Laude ............................................................................................................................................ 67
e-humor 993/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 68
Sehelai Uban ........................................................................................................................................ 68
e-humor 994/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 69
Surga Atau Neraka............................................................................................................................... 69
e-humor 995/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 70
Baru Lahir .............................................................................................................................................. 70
e-humor 996/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 71
Maksud Lain .......................................................................................................................................... 71
e-humor 997/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 72
5
HUMOR 2005
Tugas Baru ............................................................................................................................................ 72
e-humor 998/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 73
Selamat!................................................................................................................................................. 73
e-humor 999/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 74
Mengkerut.............................................................................................................................................. 74
e-humor 1000/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 75
Ujo .......................................................................................................................................................... 75
e-humor 1001/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 76
Kata Bijak Dari Nancy .......................................................................................................................... 76
e-humor 1002/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 77
Tiga Ribu ............................................................................................................................................... 77
e-humor 1003/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 78
Liku-Liku ................................................................................................................................................ 78
e-humor 1004/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 79
Keluarga Batak ..................................................................................................................................... 79
e-humor 1005/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 80
Salto Depan........................................................................................................................................... 80
e-humor 1006/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 81
Ujang ...................................................................................................................................................... 81
e-humor 1007/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 82
Pria Asing .............................................................................................................................................. 82
e-humor 1008/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 84
Mengurus Anak..................................................................................................................................... 84
e-humor 1009/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 85
Pameran Lukisan ................................................................................................................................. 85
e-humor 1010/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 86
Kontes Pedang ..................................................................................................................................... 86
e-humor 1011/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 87
Pintu Mobil ............................................................................................................................................. 87
e-humor 1012/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 88
Mau Kabur ............................................................................................................................................. 88
6
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 1013/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 89
Lomba Menghirup ................................................................................................................................ 89
e-humor 1014/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 90
Pengobatan Nenek .............................................................................................................................. 90
e-humor 1015/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 91
Baik Hati ................................................................................................................................................ 91
e-humor 1016/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 92
Bagi Dua ................................................................................................................................................ 92
e-humor 1017/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 93
Orang Pelit ............................................................................................................................................ 93
e-humor 1018/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 94
Menu Ala Perancis ............................................................................................................................... 94
e-humor 1019/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 95
Ucup Dan Komputer ............................................................................................................................ 95
e-humor 1020/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 96
Oneng Ke Pasar ................................................................................................................................... 96
e-humor 1021/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 97
Penyuluhan Kesehatan ....................................................................................................................... 97
e-humor 1022/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 98
Hukuman Aneh ..................................................................................................................................... 98
e-humor 1023/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 99
Penampilan ........................................................................................................................................... 99
e-humor 1024/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 101
Teknologi HP ...................................................................................................................................... 101
e-humor 1025/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 102
Kisah Seorang Dokter ....................................................................................................................... 102
e-humor 1026/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 103
Mengampuni dan Melupakan ........................................................................................................... 103
e-humor 1027/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 104
Rumah Baru ........................................................................................................................................ 104
e-humor 1028/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 105
7
HUMOR 2005
Ade Dan Anjar..................................................................................................................................... 105
e-humor 1029/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 106
Minta Naik Gaji ................................................................................................................................... 106
e-humor 1030/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 107
Pegawai Pos ....................................................................................................................................... 107
e-humor 1031/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 108
Perceraian ........................................................................................................................................... 108
e-humor 1032/September/2005 ................................................................................ 109
Kain dan Ciuman ................................................................................................................................ 109
e-humor 1033/September/2005 ................................................................................ 110
Ketawa Donk!...................................................................................................................................... 110
e-humor 1034/September/2005 ................................................................................ 111
Mengeluh Terus.................................................................................................................................. 111
e-humor 1035/September/2005 ................................................................................ 112
Gerak Cepat ........................................................................................................................................ 112
e-humor 1036/September/2005 ................................................................................ 113
Penyakit Kronis ................................................................................................................................... 113
e-humor 1037/September/2005 ................................................................................ 114
Ali dan Baba ........................................................................................................................................ 114
e-humor 1038/September/2005 ................................................................................ 115
Alasan-Alasan ..................................................................................................................................... 115
e-humor 1039/September/2005 ................................................................................ 116
Ulet Bulu .............................................................................................................................................. 116
e-humor 1040/September/2005 ................................................................................ 117
Jadi Miskin ........................................................................................................................................... 117
e-humor 1041/September/2005 ................................................................................ 118
Menang! ............................................................................................................................................... 118
e-humor 1042/September/2005 ................................................................................ 119
Diskon Perhiasan ............................................................................................................................... 119
e-humor 1043/September/2005 ................................................................................ 120
Pak Sukairi .......................................................................................................................................... 120
8
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 1044/September/2005 ................................................................................ 121
Tes Kehamilan .................................................................................................................................... 121
e-humor 1045/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 122
Tetap Sama ......................................................................................................................................... 122
e-humor 1046/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 123
Pesanan Kilat ...................................................................................................................................... 123
e-humor 1047/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 124
Tangga Darurat................................................................................................................................... 124
e-humor 1048/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 125
Tawar Menawar .................................................................................................................................. 125
e-humor 1049/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 126
Unta ...................................................................................................................................................... 126
e-humor 1050/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 127
Pelajaran.............................................................................................................................................. 127
e-humor 1051/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 128
Tugas Pramugari ................................................................................................................................ 128
e-humor 1052/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 129
Anting Satu .......................................................................................................................................... 129
e-humor 1053/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 130
Jangan Berisik! ................................................................................................................................... 130
e-humor 1054/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 131
Puisi Itong ............................................................................................................................................ 131
] e-humor 1055/Oktober/2005................................................................................... 132
Nggak Tega ......................................................................................................................................... 132
e-humor 1056/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 133
Badut-Badut ........................................................................................................................................ 133
e-humor 1057/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 134
Belajar! ................................................................................................................................................. 134
e-humor 1058/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 135
Handphone Endah ............................................................................................................................. 135
e-humor 1059/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 136
9
HUMOR 2005
Kesalahan............................................................................................................................................ 136
e-humor 1060/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 137
Tobat .................................................................................................................................................... 137
e-humor 1061/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 138
Sudah Terlambat ................................................................................................................................ 138
e-humor 1062/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 139
Uang Tambahan ................................................................................................................................. 139
e-humor 1063/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 140
Cewek Matre ....................................................................................................................................... 140
e-humor 1064/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 141
Manisan ............................................................................................................................................... 141
e-humor 1065/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 143
Surat Untuk Guru ............................................................................................................................... 143
e-humor 1066/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 144
Gajah .................................................................................................................................................... 144
e-humor 1067/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 145
Popok ................................................................................................................................................... 145
e-humor 1068/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 146
Takut Dipecat ...................................................................................................................................... 146
e-humor 1069/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 147
Harap Maju .......................................................................................................................................... 147
e-humor 1070/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 148
Aneh! .................................................................................................................................................... 148
e-humor 1071/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 149
Dimakan Kucing ................................................................................................................................. 149
e-humor 1072/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 150
Waduh! ................................................................................................................................................. 150
e-humor 1073/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 151
Anak Baik ............................................................................................................................................ 151
e-humor 1074/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 152
Sumbangan ......................................................................................................................................... 152
10
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 1075/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 153
Lampu Merah ...................................................................................................................................... 153
e-humor 1076/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 154
Selamatkan Kami! .............................................................................................................................. 154
e-humor 1077/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 155
Rantai Tugas ....................................................................................................................................... 155
e-humor 1078/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 157
Mak Etek .............................................................................................................................................. 157
Publikasi e-Humor 2001 ........................................................................................... 159
11
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 937/Januari/2005
Syalom, Abis baca ini jangan lupa smile-nya ya :))
2:2=1
Ada sebuah cerita tentang keluarga kecil. Seorang pria yang mencoba membantu
anaknya menyelesaikan PR Matematikanya. Baik anak atau pun ayahnya, keduanya
bukanlah orang yang pinter dalam hal matematika.
"Apakah artinya 'dua dibagi dua', Pa?" tanya sang anak kepada papanya.
Kemudian si Ayah menjelaskan dengan sangat sederhana dan pelan-pelan, "Kalau
papa berikan kepadamu dua apel ini dan kemudian kamu berikan papa satu apel,
berapa apel yang kamu punya?"
"Ah, itu mudah!", kata si anak, "Dodi satu, Pa!"
"Betul, Nak," jawab si Ayah, dan secara spontan ayahnya berkata lagi, "Letakkan
kembali apel itu, Dodi!!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Amsal+30:32 >
Sumber: RP book
“
"Ajarkanlah kepadaku kebijaksanaan dan pengetahuan yang baik, sebab aku
percaya kepada perintah-perintah-Mu."
—Mazmur 119:66—
12
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 938/Januari/2005
DearAll, Berbagi kasih dengan mengadopsi anak yang membutuhkan kasih sayang
merupakan hal yang luar biasa indahnya. Walaupun terkadang ada hal-hal lucu yang
terjadi, tetapi kita jadikan saja itu satu intermezo kehidupan :)
Adopsi?
Pada saat aku akan keluar dari sebuah toko grosir, aku perhatikan bahwa pegawai yang
bertugas memasukkan belanjaanku ke kantong plastik mengawasi dua anak angkatku.
Ya, anak angkatku memang sangat berlainan. Yang lelaki memiliki rambut pirang,
karena berasal dari Rusia, sedangkan anak perempuanku memiliki kulit yang gelap
karena berasal dari Afrika.
Pegawai tersebut terus memperhatikan kedua anakku tersebut, bahkan pada saat dia
membantuku membawa belanjaan ke mobil.
Akhirnya dia bertanya, "Apakah mereka ini anak-anakmu?"
"Ya!" jawabku dengan bangga.
"Anak adopsi?" tanyanya lagi.
"Ya!" jawab saya.
"Sudah kuduga," katanya. "Dari tadi aku perhatikan kalau Anda sudah terlalu tua untuk
memiliki dua anak sekecil ini."
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Mazmur+82:3 >
Sumber: Buffalosjokes
“
"Berilah keadilan kepada orang yang lemah dan kepada anak yatim, belalah hak
orang sengsara dan orang yang kekurangan!"
—Mazmur 82:3—
13
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 939/Januari/2005
Haiii .... Sebaiknya jangan terlalu pilih-pilihlah dalam mencari pasangan. Jangan melihat
fisiknya terlebih dahulu, tetapi carilah yang mengasihi Tuhan :)
Pria Idaman
Seorang janda, Mbok Rondho Dadapan namanya, bingung mencarikan jodoh untuk
anak gadisnya yang semata wayang, Klething Kuning namanya.
"Nduk anakku yang cantik, mengapa engkau menolak semua lamaran pemudapemuda di seluruh desa ini. Apakah mereka kurang tampan untukmu?", tanya sang ibu
kepada Klething Kuning yang tidak kunjung bicara.
"Nduk, cah ayu! Sebenarnya, pria seperti apa yang engkau kehendaki?" rayu sang ibu,
"si Ande-ande Lumut kau tolak, si Gembus kau tolak, si Bedun pun kau tolak? Pria
seperti apa yang kau cari itu Nduk, anakku?"
Akhirnya, si Klething Kuning pun angkat bicara, "Mbok, saya ingin menikah dengan
seorang pria yang gagah, hitam manis, macho, berbulu lebat, berkumis dan berjonggot
tebal. Selain itu, saya tidak mau, Mbok! Tidak mau!!"
Dengan perasaan kesal, Mbok Rondho Dadapan berteriak mamanggil, "Blacky! Blacky!
Blacky!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=1Korintus+2:9 >
Sumber: sBs
“
"Tetapi seperti ada tertulis:
"Apa yang tidak pernah dilihat oleh mata, dan tidak pernah didengar oleh telinga,
dan yang tidak pernah timbul di dalam hati manusia: semua yang disediakan Allah
untuk mereka yang mengasihi Dia."
—1 Korintus 2:9—
14
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 940/Januari/2005
Syalom, Kebiasaan buruk jangan dipelihara donkkk ....
Gigit Kuku
Seorang gadis muda sangat frustasi dengan kebiasaan jeleknya mengigiti kuku-kuku
tangannya sampai tidak berbentuk. Jika satu menit saja dia tidak menggigit kuku
tanganya, dia pasti akan sangat gugup. Temannya yang sangat peduli menyarankan dia
untuk ikut latihan yoga agar rasa frustasi dan gugupnya hilang, bahkan kebiasaan
jeleknya itu pun dapat hilang juga.
Gadis muda itu melakukan saran temannya. Dan memang ... kini kuku-kuku tangannya
sudah tumbuh normal dan bagus sekali.
Suatu hari, teman yang menyarankan dia ikut yoga melihat kuku-kuku tangan gadis
muda itu sangat indah dan terawat. "Rupanya yoga berhasil menghentikan kebiasan
jelekmu itu kan?!"
"Oh tidak," jawab gadis muda itu. "Semenjak ikut yoga, aku jadi bisa menundukkan
kepalaku sampai ke ujung kakiku. Jadi sekarang aku gigit saja kuku kakiku, supaya jari
tanganku tetap indah."
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Yudas+1:21 >
Sumber: BuffalosjokesAloha .... :))
“
"Peliharalah dirimu demikian dalam kasih Allah sambil menantikan rahmat Tuhan
kita, Yesus Kristus, untuk hidup yang kekal."
—Yudas 1:21—
15
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 941/Januari/2005
Ha ... ha ... ha ... belum punya pengalaman ya ... :))
Salah Masuk
Seorang pemuda yang melamar pekerjaan di sebuah perusahaan swasta nasional,
harus menjalani pemeriksaan kesehatan jasmani sebelum diterima. Di rumah sakit, oleh
suster dia diberi termometer untuk mengukur panas badan. Sang pemuda berpikir,
bagaimana cara memakai termometer itu. Karena ia sering menonton film di TV yang
biasanya orang memakai termometer di mulut, maka ia pun memasukkan termometer
itu ke mulutnya. Setelah beberapa saat kemudian, suster datang menghampiri si
pemuda itu dengan wajah terkejut sambil berteriak,
"Ya ampun!! Itu bukan untuk di mulut! Tapi dimasukkan ke sini!" kata suster sambil
menunjuk ke ketiaknya.
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Yeremia5:25
Sumber: BS
“
"Kesalahanmu menghalangi semuanya ini, dan dosamu menghambat yang baik
dari padamu."
—Yeremia 5:25—
16
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 942/Januari/2005
Syalom, Suka dengan kejutan?
Kejutan Ulangtahunku
Suatu pagi tepat pada hari ulang tahunku, kedua anakku memintaku untuk tidak turun
dari tempat tidur. Aku tetap berada di tempat tidurku dan mencium bau telur dadar dan
daging panggang dari arah dapur. Aku langsung berpikir, mereka pasti sedang
membuatkan aku sarapan dan akan membawa sarapan itu ke kamarku.
Akhirnya anakku memanggilku untuk turun ke dapur. Dan ketika aku turun, aku melihat
mereka sudah duduk manis di meja makan. Di depan mereka masing-masing ada piring
berisi telur dadar dan daging panggang berukuran besar. Dengan bahagia aku memeluk
mereka dan berkata, "Terima kasih ya Nak, kalian sudah buatin Mama sarapan."
Dan anakku dengan cepat menjawab, "Ohhh ... gak gitu Ma, sebagai kejutan buat
Mama, hari ini kami memasak sarapan kami sendiri!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Amsal+3:25 >
Sumber: Buffalosjokes
“
"Janganlah takut kepada kekejutan yang tiba-tiba, atau kepada kebinasaan orang
fasik, bila itu datang."
—Amsal 3:25—
17
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 943/Januari/2005
SMILE-lah! :)
Lurus Jalan Terus!
Di sebuah ruas jalan protokol Jakarta Pusat, terpasang rambu-rambu Lalu Lintas yang
bertuliskan ´LURUS JALAN TERUS!´.
Ketika seorang pemuda pengendara sepeda motor melaju kencang di jalan tersebut,
tiba-tiba, ada pengendara sepeda motor di depannya yang menghentikan motornya
secara mendadak. Akibatnya, si pemuda ini pun harus menghentikan motornya segera
untuk menghindari tertabraknya motornya dengan pengendara di depannya itu. Dia pun
mulai turun dari motornya menghampiri si pengendara itu dan berkata, "Hei, Mas!
Kenapa kamu berhenti mendadak di depan saya? Itu bisa membahayakan saya, tahu?!
Baca ´tuh! Rambu-rambu di sana, LURUS JALAN TERUS!" kata si pria muda itu
dengan nada kesal.
Sesaat kemudian, "Maaf, Mas!" jawab si pengendara sepeda motor sambil membuka
helmnya, "Saya ´kan kriting, Mas!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Yeremia+31:21 >
Sumber: Budi SabdaHaloooo,
“
"Dirikanlah bagimu rambu-rambu jalan,
pasanglah bagimu tanda-tanda jalan; perhatikanlah jalan raya
baik-baik, yakni jalan yang telah kautempuh!"
—Yeremia 31:21—
18
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 944/Januari/2005
Poenya anak kembar menyenangkan juga lhoo ... :))
Juan Dan Amal
Sebuah keluarga mempunyai anak kembar. Sayangnya keluarga tersebut memberi
kedua anaknya itu untuk diadopsi orang lain. Salah satu dari mereka diadopsi oleh
orang Mesir dan diberi nama "Amal". Yang satunya diadopsi oleh orang Spanyol dan
diberi nama "Juan".
Beberapa tahun kemudian, Juan mengirimkan fotonya kepada ayah dan ibu
kandungnya. Saat menerim foto Juan, sang ibu berkata bahwa dia juga sangat
mengharapkan Amal mengirimkan fotonya.
Dan suaminya dengan santai menjawab, "Ya ampunnn ... mereka kan kembar sayang.
Kalau saat ini kau melihat fotonya Juan, itu berarti kau juga sudah melihat Amal."
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Yohanes+20:29 >
Sumber: Nancy
“
"Kata Yesus kepadanya: "Karena engkau telah melihat Aku, maka engkau
percaya. Berbahagialah mereka yang tidak melihat, namun percaya."
—Yohanes 20:29—
19
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 945/Januari/2005
Syalom, Enak gak disoentik? Kata nenek sih seperti digigit semut adja kokk :)
Digigit Semut
Ketika menunggu gilirannya di ruang tunggu pasien, seorang pria remaja berumur 13
tahun bertanya kepada bapaknya, "Pak! Kalau kita disuntik itu, sakit ya, Pak?"
"Oh, tentu saja tidak, Nak! Kalau kita disuntik itu, rasanya seperti digigit semut!"
Beberapa saat kemudian, tibalah saatnya si anak remaja ini masuk ke kamar periksa
tanpa mau diantar bapaknya setelah ia mengetahui kalau disuntik itu rasanya seperti
digigit semut.
Lima menit kemudian, si Bapak yang menunggu di ruang tunggu pasien ini terkejut
mendengar jeritan sang dokter yang kemudian disusul jeritan anaknya. Setelah pintu
kamar periksa dibuka, dilihatnya anaknya yang berjalan pincang dengan pahanya yang
biru bengkak, dan mata sang dokter pun juga membengkak.
"Lho! Anak saya ini kenapa, Dok? Kok, jalannya pincang begini?", tanya si Ayah kepada
sang dokter.
"Begini, Pak", papar sang dokter, "Ketika anak bapak ini mau saya suntik, tiba-tiba ia
meronta-ronta dan kemudian mata saya dipukul oleh dia, dan ...."
"Bapak bohong!!!" protes anak remaja itu kepada bapaknya, "Bapak bilang kalau
disuntik itu rasanya seperti digigit semut, ternyata, seperti digigit buaya! Buktinya, lihat
ini! Bekas gigitannya!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Amsal+14:5 >
Sumber: BS
“
"Saksi yang setia tidak berbohong, tetapi siapa menyembur-nyemburkan
kebohongan, adalah saksi dusta."
—Amsal 14:5—
20
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 946/Januari/2005
DearAll, Berikut ini adalah pengalaman lucu dari Sdri. Carol. Kalau ada yang punya
pengalaman lucu lainnya, ayo donk kirim supaya kita semua bisa tertawaaaa haaa
haaaa haaa haaaa .... :) Toek Sdri. Carol, matur nuwun ya :))
Dua Jalan
Saya adalah salah seorang guru sekolah minggu, kalian tahu ada satu hal yang buat
saya terkejut bahkan juga membuatkan kami ketawa ..
2005
Publikasi Humor
Humor merupakan publikasi elektronik yang diterbitkan secara berkala oleh
Yayasan Lembaga SABDA dan menyajikan humor-humor segar yang jauh dari unsur SARA dan
pornografi lengkap dengan ayat-ayat pendukung dari setiap humor
Bundel Tahunan Publikasi Elektronik Humor
http://sabda.org/publikasi/kados
Diterbitkan oleh Yayasan Lembaga SABDA
http://www.ylsa.org
© 2005 Yayasan Lembaga SABDA
HUMOR 2005
Daftar Isi
Daftar Isi ...................................................................................................................... 2
e-humor 937/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 12
2 : 2 = 1 .................................................................................................................................................. 12
e-humor 938/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 13
Adopsi? .................................................................................................................................................. 13
e-humor 939/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 14
Pria Idaman ........................................................................................................................................... 14
e-humor 940/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 15
Gigit Kuku .............................................................................................................................................. 15
e-humor 941/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 16
Salah Masuk ......................................................................................................................................... 16
e-humor 942/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 17
Kejutan Ulangtahunku ......................................................................................................................... 17
e-humor 943/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 18
Lurus Jalan Terus! ............................................................................................................................... 18
e-humor 944/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 19
Juan Dan Amal ..................................................................................................................................... 19
e-humor 945/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 20
Digigit Semut ......................................................................................................................................... 20
e-humor 946/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 21
Dua Jalan .............................................................................................................................................. 21
e-humor 947/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 22
Hanya 51 ............................................................................................................................................... 22
e-humor 948/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 23
Interview ................................................................................................................................................ 23
e-humor 949/Januari/2005 ......................................................................................... 24
Hasil Diagnosa...................................................................................................................................... 24
e-humor 950/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 25
Pengalaman Ayah Dan Anak ............................................................................................................. 25
2
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 951/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 26
Teladan .................................................................................................................................................. 26
e-humor 952/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 27
Johnny Masuk TK................................................................................................................................. 27
e-humor 953/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 28
Lampu Merah, Stop!!! .......................................................................................................................... 28
e-humor 954/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 29
Rebung .................................................................................................................................................. 29
e-humor 955/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 30
Impas !! .................................................................................................................................................. 30
e-humor 956/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 31
Bahasa Roh........................................................................................................................................... 31
e-humor 957/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 32
Mukjizat .................................................................................................................................................. 32
e-humor 958/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 33
Hakim ..................................................................................................................................................... 33
e-humor 959/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 34
Memberi ................................................................................................................................................. 34
e-humor 960/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 35
Pencak Silat .......................................................................................................................................... 35
e-humor 961/Februari/2005 ........................................................................................ 36
Bertobatlah ............................................................................................................................................ 36
e-humor 962/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 37
Di Telepon Umum ................................................................................................................................ 37
e-humor 963/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 38
Mencari Saudara .................................................................................................................................. 38
e-humor 964/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 39
Klinik ....................................................................................................................................................... 39
e-humor 965/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 40
Sumbangan ........................................................................................................................................... 40
e-humor 966/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 41
3
HUMOR 2005
21 Tahun Ke Atas................................................................................................................................. 41
e-humor 967/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 42
Permohonan.......................................................................................................................................... 42
e-humor 968/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 43
Tambun .................................................................................................................................................. 43
e-humor 969/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 44
Tailor ...................................................................................................................................................... 44
e-humor 970/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 45
Sehati ..................................................................................................................................................... 45
e-humor 971/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 46
Keberatan! ............................................................................................................................................. 46
e-humor 972/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 47
Bola Kasti .............................................................................................................................................. 47
e-humor 973/Maret/2005 ............................................................................................ 48
Komar Dan Jam .................................................................................................................................... 48
e-humor 974/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 49
Kurang Sedikit ...................................................................................................................................... 49
e-humor 975/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 50
Burung Bangau ..................................................................................................................................... 50
e-humor 976/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 51
Sereal ..................................................................................................................................................... 51
e-humor 977/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 52
Mengapa?.............................................................................................................................................. 52
e-humor 978/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 53
Di Gereja................................................................................................................................................ 53
e-humor 979/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 54
Dompet Dhono ...................................................................................................................................... 54
e-humor 980/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 55
Pengharapan ........................................................................................................................................ 55
e-humor 981/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 56
Telinga Terbakar .................................................................................................................................. 56
4
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 982/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 57
Hadiah Natal Untuk Ibu ....................................................................................................................... 57
e-humor 983/April/2005 .............................................................................................. 58
Ratapan Anak Tiri................................................................................................................................. 58
e-humor 984/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 59
Obat Tidur? ........................................................................................................................................... 59
e-humor 985/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 60
Memo Untuk Semua Pegawai ............................................................................................................ 60
e-humor 986/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 61
Di Apotik ................................................................................................................................................ 61
e-humor 987/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 62
Nomor PIN ............................................................................................................................................. 62
e-humor 988/Mei/2005 ............................................................................................... 63
Bakar Rokok .......................................................................................................................................... 63
e-humor 989/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 64
Question And Answer .......................................................................................................................... 64
e-humor 990/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 65
Pengumpul Lebah ................................................................................................................................ 65
e-humor 991/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 66
Nasehat Pelatih .................................................................................................................................... 66
e-humor 992/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 67
Cum Laude ............................................................................................................................................ 67
e-humor 993/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 68
Sehelai Uban ........................................................................................................................................ 68
e-humor 994/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 69
Surga Atau Neraka............................................................................................................................... 69
e-humor 995/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 70
Baru Lahir .............................................................................................................................................. 70
e-humor 996/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 71
Maksud Lain .......................................................................................................................................... 71
e-humor 997/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 72
5
HUMOR 2005
Tugas Baru ............................................................................................................................................ 72
e-humor 998/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 73
Selamat!................................................................................................................................................. 73
e-humor 999/Juni/2005 .............................................................................................. 74
Mengkerut.............................................................................................................................................. 74
e-humor 1000/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 75
Ujo .......................................................................................................................................................... 75
e-humor 1001/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 76
Kata Bijak Dari Nancy .......................................................................................................................... 76
e-humor 1002/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 77
Tiga Ribu ............................................................................................................................................... 77
e-humor 1003/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 78
Liku-Liku ................................................................................................................................................ 78
e-humor 1004/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 79
Keluarga Batak ..................................................................................................................................... 79
e-humor 1005/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 80
Salto Depan........................................................................................................................................... 80
e-humor 1006/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 81
Ujang ...................................................................................................................................................... 81
e-humor 1007/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 82
Pria Asing .............................................................................................................................................. 82
e-humor 1008/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 84
Mengurus Anak..................................................................................................................................... 84
e-humor 1009/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 85
Pameran Lukisan ................................................................................................................................. 85
e-humor 1010/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 86
Kontes Pedang ..................................................................................................................................... 86
e-humor 1011/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 87
Pintu Mobil ............................................................................................................................................. 87
e-humor 1012/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 88
Mau Kabur ............................................................................................................................................. 88
6
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 1013/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 89
Lomba Menghirup ................................................................................................................................ 89
e-humor 1014/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 90
Pengobatan Nenek .............................................................................................................................. 90
e-humor 1015/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 91
Baik Hati ................................................................................................................................................ 91
e-humor 1016/Juli/2005.............................................................................................. 92
Bagi Dua ................................................................................................................................................ 92
e-humor 1017/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 93
Orang Pelit ............................................................................................................................................ 93
e-humor 1018/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 94
Menu Ala Perancis ............................................................................................................................... 94
e-humor 1019/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 95
Ucup Dan Komputer ............................................................................................................................ 95
e-humor 1020/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 96
Oneng Ke Pasar ................................................................................................................................... 96
e-humor 1021/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 97
Penyuluhan Kesehatan ....................................................................................................................... 97
e-humor 1022/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 98
Hukuman Aneh ..................................................................................................................................... 98
e-humor 1023/Agustus/2005 ...................................................................................... 99
Penampilan ........................................................................................................................................... 99
e-humor 1024/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 101
Teknologi HP ...................................................................................................................................... 101
e-humor 1025/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 102
Kisah Seorang Dokter ....................................................................................................................... 102
e-humor 1026/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 103
Mengampuni dan Melupakan ........................................................................................................... 103
e-humor 1027/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 104
Rumah Baru ........................................................................................................................................ 104
e-humor 1028/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 105
7
HUMOR 2005
Ade Dan Anjar..................................................................................................................................... 105
e-humor 1029/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 106
Minta Naik Gaji ................................................................................................................................... 106
e-humor 1030/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 107
Pegawai Pos ....................................................................................................................................... 107
e-humor 1031/Agustus/2005 .................................................................................... 108
Perceraian ........................................................................................................................................... 108
e-humor 1032/September/2005 ................................................................................ 109
Kain dan Ciuman ................................................................................................................................ 109
e-humor 1033/September/2005 ................................................................................ 110
Ketawa Donk!...................................................................................................................................... 110
e-humor 1034/September/2005 ................................................................................ 111
Mengeluh Terus.................................................................................................................................. 111
e-humor 1035/September/2005 ................................................................................ 112
Gerak Cepat ........................................................................................................................................ 112
e-humor 1036/September/2005 ................................................................................ 113
Penyakit Kronis ................................................................................................................................... 113
e-humor 1037/September/2005 ................................................................................ 114
Ali dan Baba ........................................................................................................................................ 114
e-humor 1038/September/2005 ................................................................................ 115
Alasan-Alasan ..................................................................................................................................... 115
e-humor 1039/September/2005 ................................................................................ 116
Ulet Bulu .............................................................................................................................................. 116
e-humor 1040/September/2005 ................................................................................ 117
Jadi Miskin ........................................................................................................................................... 117
e-humor 1041/September/2005 ................................................................................ 118
Menang! ............................................................................................................................................... 118
e-humor 1042/September/2005 ................................................................................ 119
Diskon Perhiasan ............................................................................................................................... 119
e-humor 1043/September/2005 ................................................................................ 120
Pak Sukairi .......................................................................................................................................... 120
8
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 1044/September/2005 ................................................................................ 121
Tes Kehamilan .................................................................................................................................... 121
e-humor 1045/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 122
Tetap Sama ......................................................................................................................................... 122
e-humor 1046/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 123
Pesanan Kilat ...................................................................................................................................... 123
e-humor 1047/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 124
Tangga Darurat................................................................................................................................... 124
e-humor 1048/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 125
Tawar Menawar .................................................................................................................................. 125
e-humor 1049/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 126
Unta ...................................................................................................................................................... 126
e-humor 1050/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 127
Pelajaran.............................................................................................................................................. 127
e-humor 1051/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 128
Tugas Pramugari ................................................................................................................................ 128
e-humor 1052/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 129
Anting Satu .......................................................................................................................................... 129
e-humor 1053/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 130
Jangan Berisik! ................................................................................................................................... 130
e-humor 1054/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 131
Puisi Itong ............................................................................................................................................ 131
] e-humor 1055/Oktober/2005................................................................................... 132
Nggak Tega ......................................................................................................................................... 132
e-humor 1056/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 133
Badut-Badut ........................................................................................................................................ 133
e-humor 1057/Oktober/2005 .................................................................................... 134
Belajar! ................................................................................................................................................. 134
e-humor 1058/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 135
Handphone Endah ............................................................................................................................. 135
e-humor 1059/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 136
9
HUMOR 2005
Kesalahan............................................................................................................................................ 136
e-humor 1060/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 137
Tobat .................................................................................................................................................... 137
e-humor 1061/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 138
Sudah Terlambat ................................................................................................................................ 138
e-humor 1062/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 139
Uang Tambahan ................................................................................................................................. 139
e-humor 1063/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 140
Cewek Matre ....................................................................................................................................... 140
e-humor 1064/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 141
Manisan ............................................................................................................................................... 141
e-humor 1065/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 143
Surat Untuk Guru ............................................................................................................................... 143
e-humor 1066/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 144
Gajah .................................................................................................................................................... 144
e-humor 1067/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 145
Popok ................................................................................................................................................... 145
e-humor 1068/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 146
Takut Dipecat ...................................................................................................................................... 146
e-humor 1069/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 147
Harap Maju .......................................................................................................................................... 147
e-humor 1070/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 148
Aneh! .................................................................................................................................................... 148
e-humor 1071/Nopember/2005 ................................................................................. 149
Dimakan Kucing ................................................................................................................................. 149
e-humor 1072/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 150
Waduh! ................................................................................................................................................. 150
e-humor 1073/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 151
Anak Baik ............................................................................................................................................ 151
e-humor 1074/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 152
Sumbangan ......................................................................................................................................... 152
10
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 1075/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 153
Lampu Merah ...................................................................................................................................... 153
e-humor 1076/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 154
Selamatkan Kami! .............................................................................................................................. 154
e-humor 1077/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 155
Rantai Tugas ....................................................................................................................................... 155
e-humor 1078/Desember/2005 ................................................................................. 157
Mak Etek .............................................................................................................................................. 157
Publikasi e-Humor 2001 ........................................................................................... 159
11
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 937/Januari/2005
Syalom, Abis baca ini jangan lupa smile-nya ya :))
2:2=1
Ada sebuah cerita tentang keluarga kecil. Seorang pria yang mencoba membantu
anaknya menyelesaikan PR Matematikanya. Baik anak atau pun ayahnya, keduanya
bukanlah orang yang pinter dalam hal matematika.
"Apakah artinya 'dua dibagi dua', Pa?" tanya sang anak kepada papanya.
Kemudian si Ayah menjelaskan dengan sangat sederhana dan pelan-pelan, "Kalau
papa berikan kepadamu dua apel ini dan kemudian kamu berikan papa satu apel,
berapa apel yang kamu punya?"
"Ah, itu mudah!", kata si anak, "Dodi satu, Pa!"
"Betul, Nak," jawab si Ayah, dan secara spontan ayahnya berkata lagi, "Letakkan
kembali apel itu, Dodi!!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Amsal+30:32 >
Sumber: RP book
“
"Ajarkanlah kepadaku kebijaksanaan dan pengetahuan yang baik, sebab aku
percaya kepada perintah-perintah-Mu."
—Mazmur 119:66—
12
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 938/Januari/2005
DearAll, Berbagi kasih dengan mengadopsi anak yang membutuhkan kasih sayang
merupakan hal yang luar biasa indahnya. Walaupun terkadang ada hal-hal lucu yang
terjadi, tetapi kita jadikan saja itu satu intermezo kehidupan :)
Adopsi?
Pada saat aku akan keluar dari sebuah toko grosir, aku perhatikan bahwa pegawai yang
bertugas memasukkan belanjaanku ke kantong plastik mengawasi dua anak angkatku.
Ya, anak angkatku memang sangat berlainan. Yang lelaki memiliki rambut pirang,
karena berasal dari Rusia, sedangkan anak perempuanku memiliki kulit yang gelap
karena berasal dari Afrika.
Pegawai tersebut terus memperhatikan kedua anakku tersebut, bahkan pada saat dia
membantuku membawa belanjaan ke mobil.
Akhirnya dia bertanya, "Apakah mereka ini anak-anakmu?"
"Ya!" jawabku dengan bangga.
"Anak adopsi?" tanyanya lagi.
"Ya!" jawab saya.
"Sudah kuduga," katanya. "Dari tadi aku perhatikan kalau Anda sudah terlalu tua untuk
memiliki dua anak sekecil ini."
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Mazmur+82:3 >
Sumber: Buffalosjokes
“
"Berilah keadilan kepada orang yang lemah dan kepada anak yatim, belalah hak
orang sengsara dan orang yang kekurangan!"
—Mazmur 82:3—
13
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 939/Januari/2005
Haiii .... Sebaiknya jangan terlalu pilih-pilihlah dalam mencari pasangan. Jangan melihat
fisiknya terlebih dahulu, tetapi carilah yang mengasihi Tuhan :)
Pria Idaman
Seorang janda, Mbok Rondho Dadapan namanya, bingung mencarikan jodoh untuk
anak gadisnya yang semata wayang, Klething Kuning namanya.
"Nduk anakku yang cantik, mengapa engkau menolak semua lamaran pemudapemuda di seluruh desa ini. Apakah mereka kurang tampan untukmu?", tanya sang ibu
kepada Klething Kuning yang tidak kunjung bicara.
"Nduk, cah ayu! Sebenarnya, pria seperti apa yang engkau kehendaki?" rayu sang ibu,
"si Ande-ande Lumut kau tolak, si Gembus kau tolak, si Bedun pun kau tolak? Pria
seperti apa yang kau cari itu Nduk, anakku?"
Akhirnya, si Klething Kuning pun angkat bicara, "Mbok, saya ingin menikah dengan
seorang pria yang gagah, hitam manis, macho, berbulu lebat, berkumis dan berjonggot
tebal. Selain itu, saya tidak mau, Mbok! Tidak mau!!"
Dengan perasaan kesal, Mbok Rondho Dadapan berteriak mamanggil, "Blacky! Blacky!
Blacky!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=1Korintus+2:9 >
Sumber: sBs
“
"Tetapi seperti ada tertulis:
"Apa yang tidak pernah dilihat oleh mata, dan tidak pernah didengar oleh telinga,
dan yang tidak pernah timbul di dalam hati manusia: semua yang disediakan Allah
untuk mereka yang mengasihi Dia."
—1 Korintus 2:9—
14
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 940/Januari/2005
Syalom, Kebiasaan buruk jangan dipelihara donkkk ....
Gigit Kuku
Seorang gadis muda sangat frustasi dengan kebiasaan jeleknya mengigiti kuku-kuku
tangannya sampai tidak berbentuk. Jika satu menit saja dia tidak menggigit kuku
tanganya, dia pasti akan sangat gugup. Temannya yang sangat peduli menyarankan dia
untuk ikut latihan yoga agar rasa frustasi dan gugupnya hilang, bahkan kebiasaan
jeleknya itu pun dapat hilang juga.
Gadis muda itu melakukan saran temannya. Dan memang ... kini kuku-kuku tangannya
sudah tumbuh normal dan bagus sekali.
Suatu hari, teman yang menyarankan dia ikut yoga melihat kuku-kuku tangan gadis
muda itu sangat indah dan terawat. "Rupanya yoga berhasil menghentikan kebiasan
jelekmu itu kan?!"
"Oh tidak," jawab gadis muda itu. "Semenjak ikut yoga, aku jadi bisa menundukkan
kepalaku sampai ke ujung kakiku. Jadi sekarang aku gigit saja kuku kakiku, supaya jari
tanganku tetap indah."
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Yudas+1:21 >
Sumber: BuffalosjokesAloha .... :))
“
"Peliharalah dirimu demikian dalam kasih Allah sambil menantikan rahmat Tuhan
kita, Yesus Kristus, untuk hidup yang kekal."
—Yudas 1:21—
15
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 941/Januari/2005
Ha ... ha ... ha ... belum punya pengalaman ya ... :))
Salah Masuk
Seorang pemuda yang melamar pekerjaan di sebuah perusahaan swasta nasional,
harus menjalani pemeriksaan kesehatan jasmani sebelum diterima. Di rumah sakit, oleh
suster dia diberi termometer untuk mengukur panas badan. Sang pemuda berpikir,
bagaimana cara memakai termometer itu. Karena ia sering menonton film di TV yang
biasanya orang memakai termometer di mulut, maka ia pun memasukkan termometer
itu ke mulutnya. Setelah beberapa saat kemudian, suster datang menghampiri si
pemuda itu dengan wajah terkejut sambil berteriak,
"Ya ampun!! Itu bukan untuk di mulut! Tapi dimasukkan ke sini!" kata suster sambil
menunjuk ke ketiaknya.
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Yeremia5:25
Sumber: BS
“
"Kesalahanmu menghalangi semuanya ini, dan dosamu menghambat yang baik
dari padamu."
—Yeremia 5:25—
16
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 942/Januari/2005
Syalom, Suka dengan kejutan?
Kejutan Ulangtahunku
Suatu pagi tepat pada hari ulang tahunku, kedua anakku memintaku untuk tidak turun
dari tempat tidur. Aku tetap berada di tempat tidurku dan mencium bau telur dadar dan
daging panggang dari arah dapur. Aku langsung berpikir, mereka pasti sedang
membuatkan aku sarapan dan akan membawa sarapan itu ke kamarku.
Akhirnya anakku memanggilku untuk turun ke dapur. Dan ketika aku turun, aku melihat
mereka sudah duduk manis di meja makan. Di depan mereka masing-masing ada piring
berisi telur dadar dan daging panggang berukuran besar. Dengan bahagia aku memeluk
mereka dan berkata, "Terima kasih ya Nak, kalian sudah buatin Mama sarapan."
Dan anakku dengan cepat menjawab, "Ohhh ... gak gitu Ma, sebagai kejutan buat
Mama, hari ini kami memasak sarapan kami sendiri!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Amsal+3:25 >
Sumber: Buffalosjokes
“
"Janganlah takut kepada kekejutan yang tiba-tiba, atau kepada kebinasaan orang
fasik, bila itu datang."
—Amsal 3:25—
17
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 943/Januari/2005
SMILE-lah! :)
Lurus Jalan Terus!
Di sebuah ruas jalan protokol Jakarta Pusat, terpasang rambu-rambu Lalu Lintas yang
bertuliskan ´LURUS JALAN TERUS!´.
Ketika seorang pemuda pengendara sepeda motor melaju kencang di jalan tersebut,
tiba-tiba, ada pengendara sepeda motor di depannya yang menghentikan motornya
secara mendadak. Akibatnya, si pemuda ini pun harus menghentikan motornya segera
untuk menghindari tertabraknya motornya dengan pengendara di depannya itu. Dia pun
mulai turun dari motornya menghampiri si pengendara itu dan berkata, "Hei, Mas!
Kenapa kamu berhenti mendadak di depan saya? Itu bisa membahayakan saya, tahu?!
Baca ´tuh! Rambu-rambu di sana, LURUS JALAN TERUS!" kata si pria muda itu
dengan nada kesal.
Sesaat kemudian, "Maaf, Mas!" jawab si pengendara sepeda motor sambil membuka
helmnya, "Saya ´kan kriting, Mas!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Yeremia+31:21 >
Sumber: Budi SabdaHaloooo,
“
"Dirikanlah bagimu rambu-rambu jalan,
pasanglah bagimu tanda-tanda jalan; perhatikanlah jalan raya
baik-baik, yakni jalan yang telah kautempuh!"
—Yeremia 31:21—
18
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 944/Januari/2005
Poenya anak kembar menyenangkan juga lhoo ... :))
Juan Dan Amal
Sebuah keluarga mempunyai anak kembar. Sayangnya keluarga tersebut memberi
kedua anaknya itu untuk diadopsi orang lain. Salah satu dari mereka diadopsi oleh
orang Mesir dan diberi nama "Amal". Yang satunya diadopsi oleh orang Spanyol dan
diberi nama "Juan".
Beberapa tahun kemudian, Juan mengirimkan fotonya kepada ayah dan ibu
kandungnya. Saat menerim foto Juan, sang ibu berkata bahwa dia juga sangat
mengharapkan Amal mengirimkan fotonya.
Dan suaminya dengan santai menjawab, "Ya ampunnn ... mereka kan kembar sayang.
Kalau saat ini kau melihat fotonya Juan, itu berarti kau juga sudah melihat Amal."
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Yohanes+20:29 >
Sumber: Nancy
“
"Kata Yesus kepadanya: "Karena engkau telah melihat Aku, maka engkau
percaya. Berbahagialah mereka yang tidak melihat, namun percaya."
—Yohanes 20:29—
19
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 945/Januari/2005
Syalom, Enak gak disoentik? Kata nenek sih seperti digigit semut adja kokk :)
Digigit Semut
Ketika menunggu gilirannya di ruang tunggu pasien, seorang pria remaja berumur 13
tahun bertanya kepada bapaknya, "Pak! Kalau kita disuntik itu, sakit ya, Pak?"
"Oh, tentu saja tidak, Nak! Kalau kita disuntik itu, rasanya seperti digigit semut!"
Beberapa saat kemudian, tibalah saatnya si anak remaja ini masuk ke kamar periksa
tanpa mau diantar bapaknya setelah ia mengetahui kalau disuntik itu rasanya seperti
digigit semut.
Lima menit kemudian, si Bapak yang menunggu di ruang tunggu pasien ini terkejut
mendengar jeritan sang dokter yang kemudian disusul jeritan anaknya. Setelah pintu
kamar periksa dibuka, dilihatnya anaknya yang berjalan pincang dengan pahanya yang
biru bengkak, dan mata sang dokter pun juga membengkak.
"Lho! Anak saya ini kenapa, Dok? Kok, jalannya pincang begini?", tanya si Ayah kepada
sang dokter.
"Begini, Pak", papar sang dokter, "Ketika anak bapak ini mau saya suntik, tiba-tiba ia
meronta-ronta dan kemudian mata saya dipukul oleh dia, dan ...."
"Bapak bohong!!!" protes anak remaja itu kepada bapaknya, "Bapak bilang kalau
disuntik itu rasanya seperti digigit semut, ternyata, seperti digigit buaya! Buktinya, lihat
ini! Bekas gigitannya!"
< http://www.sabda.org/sabdaweb/?p=Amsal+14:5 >
Sumber: BS
“
"Saksi yang setia tidak berbohong, tetapi siapa menyembur-nyemburkan
kebohongan, adalah saksi dusta."
—Amsal 14:5—
20
”
HUMOR 2005
e-humor 946/Januari/2005
DearAll, Berikut ini adalah pengalaman lucu dari Sdri. Carol. Kalau ada yang punya
pengalaman lucu lainnya, ayo donk kirim supaya kita semua bisa tertawaaaa haaa
haaaa haaa haaaa .... :) Toek Sdri. Carol, matur nuwun ya :))
Dua Jalan
Saya adalah salah seorang guru sekolah minggu, kalian tahu ada satu hal yang buat
saya terkejut bahkan juga membuatkan kami ketawa ..