She Becomes Possessive Toward Her Daughter
unconcern from her parents toward Dona Maria becomes the causes of feeling unloved and insecure. Rejection experienced Dona Maria causes some
psychological effects such as feeling of unworthy, neglected, isolated and low self-confident. That negative perception is brought in to her adulthood. It
influences her motivation and her action in building relationship with others. At the first time when I read The Bridge of San Luis Rey, I regard Dona
Maria has motherly love. She is concerned about her daughter’s well being. For example: after Dona Clara moves to Spain Dona Maria still sends her so much
money and some gifts. She is also concerned about her daughter’s health when she hears that her daughter is pregnant. She does some voodoo things to make a
happy delivery. In addition, she even prays in the church. She wants to make sure that what she does will make the efficacy greater
Nevertheless, when I analyze the novel, I conclude that Dona Maria has possessive love. She loves her daughter because she wants her daughter to love
her in return. Dona Maria knows that her love for Dona Clara is a burden for her. But she cannot resist it. The rejection creates a painful worry of losing her
daughter’s love, however it is, she wants to posses her daughter. “And when on the balcony her thoughts reached this turn, her mouth
would contract with shame for she knew that she too sinned and that though her love for her daughter was vast enough to include all the colours
of love, it was not without the shade of tyranny: she loved her daughter not for her daughter sake but for her own. She longed to free herself from this
ignoble bond; but the passion was too fierce to cope with” 23.
From the quotation I can infer that Dona Maria loves her daughter because she expecting something in return. She hopes her daughter will give her love that
she never gets from her surrounding.
According to Anja Heij, deep down hidden in the soul of possessive persons, they need little child, longing for love and appreciation. Under the
surface lies deep-seated insecurity and fear of loss, especially of relationships Conditional love-Possessive Relationship. Based on the theory, I can conclude
that the motivation of Dona Maria becomes possessive toward her daughter because she longs for love and appreciation from her daughter.
Nevertheless, Dona Maria’s effort to obtain love from her daughter is not easy. Her daughter takes after her husband. Since Dona Maria stutters, she cannot
speak well. Dona Clara treats her with a feeling of disgust. Being rejected by her own daughter makes Dona Maria become awkward. Dona Maria is afraid of
losing her daughter. She becomes too possessive. The more Dona Maria dotes on Dona Clara, the more the girl ignores her mother.
6 She Becomes Obsessive toward Her Daughter’s Love
Dona Maria assumes that the only person who can give love and happiness is Dona Clara. On Dona Clara, she puts her hope of being loved. She expects
Dona Clara presenting three kinds of love, love from her family, love from her husband, and the last love from her daughter. Dona Maria suffers from obsessive
love. According to Forward and Buck, obsessive love is the result of rejection. There are four conditions that can be used to recognize it, those are: a painful or
worry of wishing for love, a great desire to posses or be possessed by their target of obsession, physically or emotionally rejection from their target, and they
become to behave in self-defeating ways because of that rejection. A person who suffers from obsessive love believes if only the person they fixate on can make
her feel happy and rewarded. It means that the target of their obsession is the only person who will make them fulfilled Forward and Buck. It is also described in
the novel that Dona Maria also experiences those conditions. She is rejected by her parents, her husband, and her only daughter.
“And then on the green balcony a strange warfare would shake the hideous old lady, a singularly futile struggle against a temptation to which she
would never have the opportunity of succumbing. How could she rule her daughter when her daughter saw to it that four thousand miles lay between
them? Nevertheless Dona Maria wrestled with the ghost of temptation and was worsted on every occasion. She wanted her daughter for herself; she
wanted to hear her say: “You are the best of all possible mothers”; she longed to hear her whisper: forgive me” 22.
From the quotation, the writer concludes that Dona Maria is too obsessed
with her daughter. She wants her daughter’s love and admitted her as the best mother.
While Hodgkinson states that one who loves obsessively has not fallen in love with a real person, but rather an illusion. The obsessed is not falling in love
with their target because of any salient properties of the target, but for what that target represents to the obsessed Obssession Love. How to Free Your Emotion
and Live Again. Dona Maria’s concern toward her daughter is actually the reflection of love that she never gets before.
As I state before, Dona Clara represents family’s love, husband’s love, and motherly love. Dona Clara represents family’s love because Dona Maria is
longing for love from her parents since Dona Maria is neglected by her parents and craving affection. Moreover, Dona Clara is her only daughter, a member of
her family. Dona Clara also represents husband’s love since her marriage is not happy. Her husband does not give love and caring, as she needs. As Dona Clara is
her husband’s blood, she has some same things with her father. Dona Maria feels that inside Dona Clara there is a figure of her husband who she still loves.
7 She Expresses Love in a Wrong Way
Since Dona Maria never experiences love in her life, she has no idea of expressing love in a good way. Unconsciously, Dona Maria regards everything
which her parents do to her in her childhood as an experience of love. When she grows into adulthood, she expresses her love as the way her parents did in her
childhood; for example, when her mother treats her sarcastically. “there were hysterical scenes with her mother, recriminations, screams and slamming of
doors” 14. In her adolescence, she also does it to her daughter. “she could not prevent herself from persecuting Dona Clara with nervous attention and fatiguing
love. Again there were hysterical recriminations, screams and slamming of doors” 14-15. According to Hurlock, to build a better character of a child, besides to
accept and love them, we have to teach them about the way to love and accept others 308.
Hurlock also states “there should be a guidance to help the child develop the forms of emotional expression that can be most valuable for them” 300.
Since Dona Maria’s parents are busy, they neglect her and never care about her needs of being loved. It influences Dona Maria in expressing love in her later life.
It can be seen in her relationship with her daughter. In her childhood, Dona Maria’s parents satisfy her needs of love by giving her a luxury life. This
experience influences her in expressing love toward her daughter.
“ her mother persecuted her with sarcasms in an effort to arouse some social charms and forced her to go about the town in a veritable harness of
jewels” 14.
“The distressing character of the relations between mother and daughter were further embittered by misunderstanding over money. The Condesa
received a handsome allowance from her mother and frequent gifts”16.
The quotation above shows how Dona Maria expresses love toward her daughter. The first quotation tells how Dona Maria’s mother only satisfies her
physical needs. It also occurs in Dona Maria’s relationship with her daughter. Dona Maria tries to express her love toward her daughter by fulfilling her needs of
money. Besides all of the situations experienced by Dona Maria above, she
happens to take a walk along the bridge of San Luis Rey and suddenly the bridge collapses killing her.
Her death however, has made her daughter, Dona Clara, realize how much she loves her mother.
The climax of Dona Maria’s life, being deserted from love, was her death. Her death, however, triggers the fact that Dona Maria’s feelings being unloved
was not true. This can be seen from how her daughter, Dona Clara, feels regret at her mother’s death. She feels loss for her mother. This is understandable,
therefore, the bridge of San Luis Rey is the secret of love revealing that her feeling unloved was not true. Her daughter indeed loves her mother.