The Influence of the Absence of Love on Dona Maria’s Behavior

According to Maslow, the failure to satisfy the belongingness and love needs may develop some psychological problems. The problems are related to spiritual disorders such as, to loss of meaning, to doubt about the goals of life, the grief and anger over a lost love, to seeing life in a different way, loss of courage or hope, to despair over the future, dislike for oneself, recognition that one’s life is being wasted or that there is no possibility of joy and love 371- 372. Based on the theory, I can infer that Dona Maria is in despair over her future. She believes that there is no possibility of joy and love for her. Her desperate feeling also influences her life physically. Living in loneliness, makes Dona Maria ignore people’s opinion about her appearance. Even though Dona Maria is an aristocrat, the Limeans see her as a weird woman. “On the street you beheld an old woman, her red wig fallen a little over one ear, her left cheek angry with leprous affection, her right with a complementary adjustment of rouge. Her chin was never dry; her lips were never still. Lima was a city of eccentrics, but even there she became its jest as she drove through the streets or shuffled up the steps of its churches 16. 2 She gets drunk Dona Maria experienced deprivation of love caused by her parents’ treatment. In her childhood, she is neglected by her parents. The situation is embittered when her daughter leaves her alone in Lima. According to Hurlock, one of the most common long-term effects of deprivation of love on personality is emotional insecurity, a feeling of not belonging and of being unable to count on the affection of significant people 213. Dona Maria is not able to cover her sadness. She drinks liquor to forget her unhappy life. Her behavior shows an adjustment mechanism. Her behavior shows compensation-sublimation to defend herself from suffering. According to Carrol, ”Sublimation is one of compensatory behaviors. Sublimation includes all activities substitute for all kinds of frustration. An example of sublimation is maladjustive behavior of a person who resorts to alcoholism 216-219. “You should know that after the departure of her daughter, Dona Maria had lighted upon a certain consolation: she had taken to drinking. Everyone drank chica in Peru and there was no particular disgrace in being found unconscious on a feast day. Dona Maria had begun to discover that her feverish monologues had a way of keeping her awake all night” 30. To escape from the reality, Dona Maria is getting drunk. She is afraid to face the reality that her daughter has left her. It is hurt for her. She chooses to drink liquor because it will help her to be unaware of what has happened to her life. 3 She becomes a daydreamer Dona Clara’s leaving makes Dona Maria’s life become incomplete. The condition affects her psychological condition. As a human being, her need of love and belongingness is not complete. Dona Maria’s love and belongingness need is affected by her daughter’s leaving. Being unable to satisfy her love and belongingness need makes Dona Maria daydream of reconciliation with her daughter. According to Carrol, daydreaming is a kind of adjustment mechanism. Daydreaming is a satisfying imaginative fulfillment of desires. It is an escape from the difficulties of real life into a realm where all obstacles to success can be ignored or effectively surmounted 6. Her attendance to theater is a situation which shows if Dona Maria is daydreaming. Seeing that the eccentric nobleman is one of her audiences, Camila sings a ridiculous song at the Marquesa’s expense. However, Dona Maria does not notice that she is the subject of the merriment; since she is too busy thinking of her daughter. “The malicious actress had seen the Marquesa arrive and presently began improvising couplets alluding to her appearance, her avarice, her drunkenness, and even to her daughter’s flight from her 28. The quotation shows how Dona Maria is considered as a weird woman who suffers from lack of affection. But Dona Maria is happy for the her visiting since she finds some new beautiful words for her next letter. She even does not notice that she becomes the joke since she is too busy thinking of her daughter. She imagines if her daughter will give her a compliment for her letter. “But Marquesa remained unaware of what had taken place; in fact she was quite pleased, for during the visit she had contrived a few felicitous phrases, phrases who knows that might bring a smile to her daughter’s face and might make her murmur: “Really, my mother is charming” 28- 29. After Dona Clara leaves her, Dona Maria became more introvert. The only thing in her mind is her beloved daughter. She lives in a metaphor stage with the scene of forgiveness and her daughter’s regret. Dona Maria’s imagination of reconciliation with her daughter makes her to daydream. She becomes unaware of her surroundings since what come in her mind is her daughter saying “You are the best of all possible mothers, forgive me”. 22 4 She Withdraws Herself In her loneliness, Dona Maria begins to spend her free time in the company of Pepita, a girl she has brought from the orphanage. But it cannot reduce her sadness. She is still depressed with her life. Sometimes she has a chat with Pepita but at other time, she does not regard her existence. Dona Maria tries to cover her stress by withdrawing herself. She refuses to face problem. “No less her heart suffered, for on some days Dona Maria would suddenly become aware of her and would talk to her cordially and humorously, would let appear for a few hours the exquisite sensibility of the Letters; then on the morrows she would withdraw into herself again and, while never harsh, would become impersonal and unseeing” 44. According to Hurlock, deprivation of love can affect someone physically, socially, and emotionally. And to the emotional deprivation, the effects can be seen in lack of emotional responsiveness and interchange the emphatic complex 212. Dona Maria suffers from deprivation of love since in her childhood her parents treat her sarcastically. And it is getting worse when her daughter rejects and leaves her. It affects her emotionally. She becomes less aware toward her surrounding.

5. She Becomes Possessive Toward Her Daughter

Maslow states in his book Toward The Psychology of Being that the belongingness and love relations can be satisfied by other people i.e., only from outside the person 34. It means that human must build a relationship to satisfy the love and belongingness needs. It is also seen in Dona Maria’s effort to fulfill her needs of love and belongingness. In order to satisfy her needs of love and belongingness, Dona Maria builds a relationship with her daughter. Since Dona Maria has a rejected experience in her life, so it is hard for her to build a good relationship with Dona Clara. The feeling of being unloved and insecure influences her personal relationship with her daughter. Hurlock also states that” Parents’ treatment of the child will influence the child’s emotion and growth in his later life” 296. Dona Maria’s parents’ treatments also influence her emotional growth. The inconsistent, insincere and unconcern from her parents toward Dona Maria becomes the causes of feeling unloved and insecure. Rejection experienced Dona Maria causes some psychological effects such as feeling of unworthy, neglected, isolated and low self-confident. That negative perception is brought in to her adulthood. It influences her motivation and her action in building relationship with others. At the first time when I read The Bridge of San Luis Rey, I regard Dona Maria has motherly love. She is concerned about her daughter’s well being. For example: after Dona Clara moves to Spain Dona Maria still sends her so much money and some gifts. She is also concerned about her daughter’s health when she hears that her daughter is pregnant. She does some voodoo things to make a happy delivery. In addition, she even prays in the church. She wants to make sure that what she does will make the efficacy greater Nevertheless, when I analyze the novel, I conclude that Dona Maria has possessive love. She loves her daughter because she wants her daughter to love her in return. Dona Maria knows that her love for Dona Clara is a burden for her. But she cannot resist it. The rejection creates a painful worry of losing her daughter’s love, however it is, she wants to posses her daughter. “And when on the balcony her thoughts reached this turn, her mouth would contract with shame for she knew that she too sinned and that though her love for her daughter was vast enough to include all the colours of love, it was not without the shade of tyranny: she loved her daughter not for her daughter sake but for her own. She longed to free herself from this ignoble bond; but the passion was too fierce to cope with” 23. From the quotation I can infer that Dona Maria loves her daughter because she expecting something in return. She hopes her daughter will give her love that she never gets from her surrounding.