46 for help and the second is practicing relaxation methods. While in negative coping
actions, Gayle does two things. She solves her problems by using drugs and isolating herself from others.
4.4.1 Gayle’s positive coping actions
According to Ruzek in his article Coping with PTSD and Recommended Lifestyle Changes for PTSD Patients, the positive coping action will help to
reduce anxiety and distressing reaction. This action also improves the situation which makes the sufferer more comfortable. Positive coping actions can include
seven ways, but Gayle only does two of them as follows:
4.4.1.1 Calling a counselor for help
The social worker who takes care of Gayle sends Gayle to the psychiatrist that is called Dr. Dora Black. In a very calm manner, Dr. Dora Black asks some
questions of Gayle. She asks about what Gayle feels after she has lost everything and with conviction Dr. Dora Black tells Gayle that she must have had a lot of
nightmares and flashbacks Sanders 211. At this moment, Gayle is unable to believe that apparently there is someone who knows what is going on in her.
Then, after the consultation, Dr. Dora Black recommends Gayle to go to Dr. Hayter to have therapy. Then Gayle is accompanied by Dr. Dora Black to meet
Dr. Hayter. Gayle feels happy because Dr. Hayter greets her warmly. Dr. Hayter must be have been struck by Dora Black’s insights too, because
as we came out of the room she put her arm around me. Startled, I shrugged it off. Adults had rarely hugged or cuddled me at that time; I
wasn’t used to being touched by anyone but Julie and Paul’s children. But I was sorry that I had given her the impression I didn’t like it, and I wished
I had let her hug me because it was what I wanted and needed. But I never forgot that gesture, or that she was trying to reach out to me and offer
warmth Sanders 211-212.
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47 At another time, Gayle feels that she has to do something and find way out
to make a better and future life. So she decides to write a letter to Dr. Dora Black, the psychiatrist who specializes in the study of the impact of the killing of one
parent by another on the children. Of course this is the first time for Gayle to do something to help herself.
Writing this letter was an important step for me. It was the first time I had done something active to help myself. At this point in my life nobody was
going to help me if I didn’t ask for help. I was now young adult, and no longer the responsibility of social services or anyone else. I had to begin to
make a life for myself, and the letter to Dora Black was an acknowledgement that I wanted to do this Sanders 258.
After Dr. Dora Black responds to Gayle’s letter, she plans an appointment
to meet Gayle. Then, Gayle meets Dr. Dora Black and begins to talk about her problems, for example: Gayle’s suicide attempts, depression, inability to
concentrate, and sense of rejection. At the end of the talking session, Dr. Dora Black says that Gayle has to meet her colleague who is called Stuart, one of the
best psychiatrists in the field of post traumatic stress Sanders 260. Then, Gayle starts her therapy sessions with Stuart. Seeing Stuart is a turning point for Gayle.
She is able to open up about what has happened in her childhood, about her parents, and about what has happened to herself since her mother’s death.
By doing the therapy Gayle feels happier and clearer about the direction of her life. The therapy helps her lot to make her better life. So the action of calling a
counselor for help is called positive action.
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48
4.4.1.2 Practicing relaxation methods
