Needs of Intimacy Needs of Affiliation
36 People have motivation to get something or to achieve the goal of life. It is
also used by Komako to achieve her goal. The reason why she chooses to be a geisha is that because she has to pay the debt to the music teacher. The music
teacher has taught her to be a woman who can lead a life by herself.
“I couldn’t quite believe all of it, as a matter of fact. But they said you went to work as a geisha to help pay doctor’s bills.”
“It sounds like something out of a cheap magazine. But that’s not true. I was never engaged to him. People seem to think I was, though. It wasn’t to help
anyone in particular that I became a geisha. But I owe a great deal to his mother, and I had to do what I could.” p. 67
When Komako does not feel comfortable with what people say about her, she will give a strong reason. Komako can be angry when Shimamura always asks
about her relationships with the son of music teacher. Her relationships are not like what people think. Komako passes the hard life by herself but on the other
hand the son of music teacher is a sick man. In living the life, Komako never needs help from other people including the music teacher’s son. He could not help
anything with her life.
“It’s not right for you to ask. How can a dying man keep me from doing as I like?” p. 68
“In Tokyo I was expected to dance, and they gave me dancing lessons. But I got only the faintest idea of how to play the samisen. If I were to lose that
there would be no one here to teach me again. So I use scores.” p.70
After telling about the truth of the rumor, it indicates that the one she needs is Shimamura. Because Shimamura will not be able to come every time she
needs him and that he has family in Tokyo, she asks him to come back to Tokyo.
37 Every time she sees Shimamura, it hurts her feeling due to the kind of the
relationships she has with him.
“But it’s not easy for me. Go on back to Tokyo. It’s no easy for me. … was it sorrow at finding herself about to sink into too deep relationships with a
traveler? Or at having to keep herself under control at so dear a moment? She has come that far … “ p. 78
The third concept of love is intimacy. Komako tries to communicate easily and confidentially with Shimamura. She keeps the relationships with Shimamura
but she does not want to break up the family. She respects Shimamura’s wife and she does not want to tell the lies. Her decision is really hard for her but she has to
do it. She cannot lie her heart and the other people who will be hurt because of her.
“Is that what happens when you lose your head over a man? I wonder.” p. 97 “I couldn’t. I really couldn’t. I couldn’t possibly write the sort of letter your
wife would see. I couldn’t bring myself to. I don’t tell lies just because people might be listening.” p. 100
She always keeps herself and does not change the way she lives. It also shows that she is not a person who can easily change her mind and heart. The life
that is always same year after year sometimes makes her bored and gives her hallucination of being married.
“People say I haven’t changed since I came here. I was sixteen then. But life goes on the same, year after year.” p, 101
“I wonder if I can have children.” And she wondered too if being generally faithful to one man was not the same thing as being married.
The man that was in Komako’s life was not only the man who wanted to marry her. Komako also had relationships with a man who was her patron.
38 A patron is a man who protects a geisha’s life. This man is the first man whom
Shimamura thinks that Komako falls in love with at the first time. It is about the past life of Komako’s relationships with man.
“That was the first time Shimamura had heard of the “one man” in Komako’s life. She had known him since she was sixteen, she said. … she had never
liked the man, Komako continued, and had never felt near him, perhaps because the affair had begun she was down on the coast just after the death of
the man who had paid her debts.” p. 106
Although Komako falls in love with this man, she tries to break up the relationships because she does not get the feeling of the relationships. There are
two reasons why she chooses to leave him. The first reason is his age is over her age and the second reason is the man is never beside her. Komako actually needs
someone who always beside her and can be the friend whom she can talk with. She tries to leave him for two chances but it is hard for her. Finally, she can break
up her relationships with him.
“I’ve had two chances to leave him. When I went to work as a geisha here, and when I moved after the music teacher died. But I’ve never had the power
to do it. I don’t have much will power.” p.106 “I sometimes think it would be easiest to break away from him if I were to be
really bad. I honestly think so sometimes.” p.107
Komako’s relationships with Shimamura are getting closer and closer. Shimamura understands about the past experience of Komako’s life. Komako tells
about her relationships with another man. From her story, it can be concluded that she cannot enjoy and get the feeling of the relationships. It is really different when
she meets Shimamura. Komako gives her whole heart to Shimamura. It can be shown when she talks everything to him. Although she does not receive any
39 response from Shimamura, she still keeps the relationships with Shimamura. She
knows that their relationships are just friends. Komako says, “You have no idea how I feel …. If I have time later, I’ll stop by to wash my hair. I may be late, but
I’ll stop by.” p.122 As long as Komako keeps the relationships with Shimamura, she gets the
love and belongingness from other people. She receives and gives love from another people and someone to love. She finds the man whom she loves so much.
These relationships are much better than her relationships with another man before. It is the relationships that she wants.
According to Maslow, needs of intimacy is also described in the hierarchy of needs. After acquiring the love from other people, she needs high evaluation for
herself. It is called self-esteem needs. There are two kinds of self-esteem needs. Those are a need for self-esteem and a need for esteem from others. The needs for
self-esteem motivate the individual to strive for achievement, independence, freedom, confidence and strength. It motivates Komako to get strength for her life
and freedom of life by keeping the relationships with Shimamura. It can be shown from the quotation below that implies the Komako’s struggling to come for
Shimamura based on her needs. She says, “I said I would come and I’ve come. Haven’t I? I said I’d come and I’ve come, haven’t I?” Her chest, even her
abdomen, rose and fell violently. p. 123 When keeping the relationships, Komako actually needs someone to
recognize and gives attention to her after what she has done for the man whom she loves. It is all about the feeling and love she has given to Shimamura. In the
40 beginning, Komako has known that their relationships can last longer if they are
just friends. Komako realizes about this condition but at least she hopes that Shimamura will understand about her struggling. She said that only woman who
is really able to love someone. Man sometimes does not think about it. This condition is true and it will always be like that. It can be shown from the quotation
below. It implies that Komako needs recognition and attention from Shimamura.
“And I can’t complain. After all, only women are able really to love. … In the world as it is.” p. 130
As it always has been. She raised her head and added absent-mindedly: “You didn’t know that?” p. 131
The need of esteem from other people also involves the appreciation of others for one’s abilities to provide herhim a feeling of importance. When
interacting with other people, someone wants to become a part of other’s life. Komako needs something from Shimamura. She gives her love and she hopes she
will get love too. It is actually a wasted effort for her if she still hopes something from Shimamura. But the important thing is that Komako still wants to be
appreciated by Shimamura and become an important part of Shimamura’s life. When they are having conversation, Shimamura tells Komako that he appreciates
her. He says that Komako has been a good girl for him. It implies that Komako is being the feeling of importance of Shimamura’s life. On the other hand,
Shimamura does not tell the reason why he says that. “You’re a good girl.”
“Why? Why am I good? What’s good about me? … I’m not good at all. It’s not easy having you here. You’d best go home. Each time I come to see you I
41 want to put on a new kimono, and now I have none left. This one is borrowed.
So you see I’m not really good at all.” p. 146 “And what do you find good in me?” Her voice was a little husky. “The first
day I met you I thought I had never seen anyone I disliked more. People just don’t say the sort things of you. I hated you.” p. 147
After he says that Komako has been a good girl and gives her no reason, he says other words that Komako is a good woman. It makes confuses Komako.
At first he says that she is a good girl, and then he says that she is a good woman. It is really contradictory. It saddens Komako and makes her hates Shimamura for
not giving her a clear reason. “You’re a good woman.”
“How am I good?” … “A good woman-what do you mean by that? What do you mean?” p. 148
“I hate you. How I hate you.” … “It makes me very sad,” she murmured to herself. p. 148
Those statements really make Komako shocked. She never thinks like this before. The most astonishing fact is that Shimamura does not tell the reason and
the differences between a good girl and good woman. Finally, Komako feels that she is not someone that is important in Shimamura’s life.
Her skin was as clean as if it had just been laundered. He had not dreamed that she was a woman would find it necessary to take offense at such a trivial
remark, and that very fact lent her an irresistible sadness.
When the need of self – esteem is satisfied, people will have feelings of self-confidence and self-worth and see one as having a purpose in the world. The
statement of Shimamura breaks Komako’s feeling and she lost the confidence and self – worth.
42 In conclusion, Komako has needs of intimacy in keeping the relationships
with Shimamura as a married man. She has problems with other man who wants to marry her. It makes her feels insecure. That condition makes Komako to have
the element of attachment strong desire to be in another’s presence, caring concerning for satisfaction and security of other. Komako also tries to
communicate easily
and confidentially
with Shimamura
to keep
their relationshipss.
The human needs can be divided into Homeostatis and Hedonism. Homeostatis means the tendency toward the maintenance of a relatively stable
internal environment. Hedonism means that pleasure happiness are the chief goals in life Weiner, 1980: 11. That people need something motivates them to behave
and reach the goal of life. This disequilibrium drives people to behave and make their personality. According to Huffman, Vernoy and Vernoy, there are two types
of motivation. Those are intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. According to Huffman, Vernoy and Vernoy, intrinsic motivation refers to
the desire to exhibit an action for our own sake. It means that this motivation comes from someone’s enjoyment or pleasure. It can be concluded that Komako
has intrinsic motivation in keeping her relationshipss with Shimamura. The intrinsic motivation consists of needs of affiliation and needs of intimacy.
Komako has experienced some condition of deficiency. Those deficiencies are feeling of unwanted and worthlessness, emptiness, loneliness and incompleteness.
In the fulfillment the deficiency of feeling unwanted and worthlessness, she keeps the relationshipss with Shimamura because she can get the sense of wholeness and
43 warmth. To fulfill the deficiency of emptiness, loneliness and incompleteness, she
can get the sense of growing together with Shimamura in keeping her relationships.
44