She is the only one who did not spout such nonsense as: “I like you as a man not as the celebrity everyone wants to meet” or worse still: “I’m not
interested in money” … She was the only one who was genuinely pleased at my success, because she too was famous and knew that celebrity counts
48
They often go at parties and receptions together. People make speculation about their relationship, but they never confirm. When they are busy with their work and
have to be in different places, they visit each other. They are close, but still independent. “She got on her filming and I with my work; when I could, I would
travel to Milan, and when she could, she would meet me in Paris; we were close but not dependent on each other” 49.
The narrator spends much time with Marie. They share laughter, experience, and stories. Marie knows every story about him and Esther and he
knows everything about Marie even her impossible love for a married neighbor. On the other hand, the narrator feels that what he does with Marie and what he
feels to her is different to what he feels to Esther. Marie’s presence can cure his loneliness but cannot fulfill his emptiness feeling. It is like a puzzle when one part
does not fit perfectly. Marie pretended not to know what was going on in my soul, and I
pretended not to know what was going on in hers… We were friends, companions, we enjoyed the same things; I would even go so far as to sat
that they was between us a kind of love, but different from the love I felt for Esther or that Marie felt for her neighbor 49.
4.3.3 Fulfilling the Narrator’s Self Esteem Needs
After the narrator’s belongingness and love needs are met, needs for self esteem emerge. According to Maslow, there are two categories of esteem needs.
There are self respect and esteem for other people. Self esteem includes such PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
needs as desire for confidence, competence, mastery, adequacy, achievement, independence, and freedom. Respect from others includes such concepts as
prestige, recognition, acceptance, attention, status, reputation, and appreciation Goble 42.
The narrator in the novel The Zahir gets respect from others when he publishes a book. The title is A Time to Rend and a Time to Sew. The book is
written about a year after Esther’s disappearance and it is Esther that inspires him to write the book. “Why should I worry about woman who left me? … It was
because of her I spent all those painful days and nights, nearly lost my friends and wrote A Time to Rend and a Time to Sew” 70.
The respect comes from the people around him and also the readers. A month after it is published, the book becomes number one on the best seller lists.
Some reviews about the book come out and letters from readers arrive. “The critics never praise me.” “I mean your readers: you’ve received more letters than
ever.” 56. He also starts signing the book like usually does as a writer. He does it and
enjoys it. At the appointed time, I start signing books. There is brief eye-to-eye
contact and a feeling of solidarity, joy, and mutual respect. There are handshakes, a few letters, gifts, comments. Ninety minutes later, I ask for a
ten-minute rest, no one complains, and my publisher as has become traditional at my books signings in France order champagnes to be served
to everyone still in line I have tried to get this tradition adopted in other countries, but they always say that French champagne is too expensive and
end up serving mineral water instead. But that, too, shows respect for those still waiting. 62.
Those things make him feels being accepted and respected by others. It is related to the narrator’s reputation as a writer. It also makes him realize that no
matter how hard he tries to deny that he does not think about Esther anymore, he cannot escape from her.
